On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

@Amdone123 thanks for the tag. Been doing well at not drinking during the week, moderating at the weekend has been a mixed bag. It did however all go a bit down hill this week but it's just been one of those weeks where everything just piled up so I'm not being too harsh on myself. And still able to get up and do my morning runs so thankfully my weight is staying down.

Going on a work trip tomorrow with a very long flight and then what will be a very booze focused social scene. Going to do lots of exploring in my free time though rather than go to the bar.

Hope everyone I'd enjoying the long weekend.

Thanks for the tag @Amdone123. Currently on holiday so drinking every day for the week, but so far, moderately and guilt free. I will want a few days off after I get back so that bit should be easy, but then I want to try and get down to less than 14 units a week again some/most weeks. Just need to get into the right mindset after being all YOLO during the summer holidays and hoping I can do it.
Well done on your 6 day AF streak, that's brilliant!

Thanks for the tag @Amdone123 - have been reading along but haven't posted in a while.

I've been drinking more often than I would like, back in an every other day habit atm which is too often. Managed to avoid last night even though I was tempted and was glad today. Will probably drink tonight but hopefully not go overboard. I haven't had any completely ridiculous nights where I'm totally useless the next day for a while, so that's a positive at least.

Great list @Nowstrong and I'm really not sure why I drink either...

I don’t know if this will help anyone…. But 46 days in…. I’m still examine why I drink or want to… and for me it’s the ritual of having that “luxury” feeling, knowing it’s my downtime or a special occasion. Although I’ve abstained before I’ve never bothered with Alchol free… until this stint! So tonight I’m happily sipping away on a bottle of Kylie pink Prosecco, whilst hubby cooks tea and for me the A/f offers that feeling of something special but without the hassle of booze!

I realised another plus tonight…. My house is so tidy and organised. I’m always house proud but I guess having zero hangover days means more energy!!!!!!

lovely to hear off everyone @Amdone123 @Bigbus @Flumpywoo @SisterMaryLuke @Nowstrong @PositiveDays @Liverpool52 and for anyone I missed apologies. No matter where we are in our journeys it’s great catching up on everyone’s news xxx

@Mj20 that's amazing, I wish I could go as long as you. Maybe one day I will get to that mindset and just go for it. The most I've done is a month.

Thank you @Flumpywoo it’s been a process, lots of trial and error. Just hope I can keep going this time. Also a month is amazing. I feel like once you get to double digits they keep adding up (that’s not to say the journey gets easier) xxx

Day 7
Slept so well and I've jumped up to wash the bedding and when dh goes to work, I'm cleaning the kitchen - a proper deep clean.
I was watching Craig Beck on YouTube last night and he said you must fill your old drinking time doing something you love. After racking my brain for today's filler, I've come up with cleaning.
Either that or roller blading and I don't think my neighbours are ready for that.

Yesterday was lovely but I was a bit down. Not sure why. Maybe because I wasn't self medicating. Got upset about my dog again. And I was definitely thinking that today I'm going to press that sod it button.
But, today, I feel differently - I'm carrying on. Craig Beck says to go through the pain barrier like you would any other endeavour.
Also, one day at a time works so well for me. When I start questioning tomorrow, that's when the problems arise.

Hope everyone is doing OK ❤️

Morning all! I DID IT!!! Had a great evening and my friend had made a lovely lemon and ginger cold tea for me to drink, no sugar. She had a couple of glasses of wine. We nattered and no questions asked, apart from "is it a health problem?" once I said no, no more to it. Feel relieved and strengthened. Thank you for sending me your encouragements.
Now it's going to be easy, wishful thinking, I just have to remain in the same mental state and see how long this is going to last. Can even, at this precise moment in time, consider being AF long term. But one day at a time. Baby steps, as only day 10 today.
Will be on here A LOT. Wittering on about my state of mind, and thoughts, I'll most probably be driving you all mad. Feel free to ignore me. But I must admit that this thread is my diary and AF / moderating life line. Goodness knows what state I'd still be in, if I hadn't found this thread.
@Mj20 great going! Reading your posts for tips and thoughts.
@Flumpywoo you have already managed a month once, I never have, so you did great.
@enoughisenough4 there is progress, small steps.
@Amdone123 you are my mentor here, I see a lot of myself in your posts. I'll most probably come up with a list of negatives soon. I love a good list.

Going to be busy. Sunday; a family day. Will be receiving, cooking, and visiting. Weather is pretty miserable here.
Wishing you all a happy Sunday. Sending very positive and happy vibes to all.
Happy because I feel strangely liberated from alcohol's power. Just hope it doesn't come back to bite my backside.

@Nowstrong well done !! That's absolutely amazing. Stay positive, you can do it. And day 10 - that's what I want so I'm looking to you 👊.

I use this place as a diary, too, as well as the support, encouragement and motivation. So, overall, a good place for me.

Morning all!
huge congrats to @Amdone123 and @Nowstrong!!! your posts sound so vibrant, positive and determined. It’s lovely to read.
@Amdone123 youve raised a really interesting point…. That people who give up booze don’t really talk about, there are times it can actually feel really crap….. lots of old feelings resurface. Last time I went A/f it happened to me a lot. Lots to work through. But I guess it’s part of the process.
im glad you feel differently today and have a plan. I’m having a slow morning reading before I do some decluttering! Also @Nowstrong no need for apologies, it’s inspiring and helpful for us all when the thread gets updated. I also up my posting when I’m trying to stick to it and the accountability factor really helps.

once again @Amdone123 and @Nowstrong congrats on your wins 🧡

Hoping everyone else is ok, whether abstaining, moderating or just thinking about it.

sending everyone happy and positive Sunday vibes xxxx

Well done @Nowstrong that's brilliant and a big step staying AF when out with friends. That's the hardest part but gets easier the more you do it. You are inspiring me to try another long stint. Definitely keep posting on here to help you keep going.

@Amdone123 woohoo to day 7!

@Mj20 thanks.
I was thinking about something you posted actually - ' trial and error', and it's so true when you're trying to abstain.
I feel like I have a set of weapons to attack any thought, craving, temptation as I've tried so many times.

@Amdone123 it really is trial and error. And I’ve had plenty of both! But ultimately it’s all good experience to hopefully success. And yes having all these things in place is what gets us through. I’m like you and love a pamper, so often when boredom strikes and I wish I was sipping something a long soak does the trick. I guess it’s just about finding lots of different tools that work. Xxx

Pleased to report I didn't do a last minute dash to the shop (even though I did find myself repeatedly glancing at the clock). We don't have anything extra in the house so I only drank what I intended when I was sober. Going to try and break the frequency habit!

Well done @Nowstrong !! It sounds like your friend was asking out of concern and had no judgement, that's great! I think you using this like a diary is actually helpful to others too, so keep on posting!

@enoughisenough4 that's a good result, well done !
All these ( what may seem like) little wins may eventually lead to the Big Win ( whether that's moderating or abstaining).
I have a shop on my estate that I frequent. Actually, you just reminded me of another reason to abstain / moderate - the cost. I bought 2 x prosecco from my local shop a few weeks ago, and it came to £24.
All I got for 24 quid was a headache and a spell of self - loathing.
It really is bloody useless.

Hi all,

Glad to see that the thread is vibrant and busy 👏👏👏

Four months or so AF for me now. It's become a really natural way of life.
Alcohol just has no hold over me at all (hope it stays that way).

On of the biggest thrills for me is being rid of the hang-anxiety drinking gave me. What did I say, what did I do, was I too loud (yes), too opinionated (almost certainly).

Honestly, the joy of knowing that I've been me, measured, deliberate, balanced, all the time, is worth any tough times getting alcohol-free.

@NextPhaseOfLife that's brilliant - well done! How long do you think it took for alcohol to lose its hold? Would you mind if I asked roughly how much you were drinking before?

@NextPhaseOfLife well done and thanks for your post - it's really inspiring.

@enoughisenough4 yes, it was out of concern and then she dropped the subject, which was nice. @NextPhaseOfLife , wise words and well done, when did you stop thinking about alcohol? @Amdone123 between the cost of the stuff, plus the amount I've poured down the sink, it is a costly habit. Plus all you get is, I agree, a headache and self hatred.
Everybody has just left me (with the mess) but I'm feeling fine. Clear headed and not at all lethargic, have nearly cleared it all up. Another positive for the list ; less procrastinating until I'm 100% sober.
Now ready to enjoy a pleasant Sunday evening, with leftovers if hungry, relaxed and strangely very at peace with everything.

@enoughisenough4

Not at all.

Most weeks, I drank at least 3 or 4 bottles of wine or Prosecco. Often more. Holidays, christmas, events, at least a bottle a night.

That was my usual for years and years. I'd cut back, try to drink only at weekends, do dry January, not drink at home. All ending back up to opening bottle to relax, celebrate, commiserate, whatever.

It's very normal in my social circle.

I'm enjoying not drinking enormously, it feels right to me now.

@NextPhaseOfLife thank you so much for your reply. Your typical week sounds similar to me. If it's ok can I ask what your turning point was? Did you switch to AF drinks straight away?

@enoughisenough4 of course.

It's a good question. I'd known for years that alcohol didn't do me any favours. I wasn't particularly awful. I could handle a fair amount because I was used to it. I mainly drank 'well' and only had the odd blip - a massive night out with work with a drunken cab home, a heavy evening with friends where I'd cringe a bit about my 'exuberance', a few worries about who I'd text, what I'd posted on FB.

Most of the time me and DH, as a couple, were just known as great sociable people. BBQs, dinners, wine bars.

I just began browsing the MN alcohol board in Feb:March. Realised I identified with a number of posters.

I wasn't 'an alcoholic'. I didn't neck vodka in the mornings or hide bottles, but my life was punctuated by wine, and doing social things without wine was not a way of life for me.

So I read Claire Pooley's 'Sober Diaries'. Identified with a lot of it, and decided pretty much then that I was done with alcohol.

I drank AF beers straight away, loved them. Still do. They seem to fill the 'adult drink' gap that was missing,

My social life is doing okay, and the AF drinks are fine. I don't miss alcohol at all,

So sorry for the long answer!

Ok well we are on day one today. Bit too much consumed over the weekend but none left in the house now and havent had anything since about 3 but im not feeling great anyway so taking the opportunity to have an early AF night tonight.

Successful day one done and dusted. My concern is that I will have some withdrawals and I dont know how to safely work around this however I feel fantastic this morning.

Morning all. AF day 11! Thank you for your posts @NextPhaseOfLife, your alcohol consumption seemed very similar to how I was drinking. Except that I had been worrying for years about how much I was actually downing. Even before leaving my ex, who was a raging alcoholic. When with him, at times I was drinking to be able to put up with his moods and abuse. Unfortunately, when I left I had acquired quite a taste for the fuzzy feeling that you get after a couple of glasses. Was also starting to worry that I was becoming too loud and exuberant.

This morning I woke up and looked my age a bit bloated and my instant thought was, how much did I drink. I didn't! Yeah! So I'm now waiting for the BAF (Beauty Abstaining Fairy) to do her job. Very happy to wait a while, there must be a benefit to reap there as well. Weight slightly down, which is amazing as ate more than my share of leftover cake for dinner last night. Another win : took the time to do my nails nicely before bed last night, then had cold tea while waiting for the varnish to dry, instead of a glass of wine.

Small message to @Amdone123 ; keep up the good work, am thinking of you.
@Needtokickthehabit well done on day 1. Little steps.

Feeling energetic, going to get the housework out of the way, then off for a long walk.
Sending lots of positive and full of energy vibes. If you see the Beauty Girl on Wings, send her my way, will offer her tea and cake as a bribe if necessary.