On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

It's so inspiring reading all your posts and knowing that I am not alone. I can totally relate to all of you. It motivates me to keep trying. I'm going for slow and steady to help me win this.

I still don't know exactly why I drink. I love that buzz/kick I get from red wine. I drink when I'm happy, I drink when I'm sad, I drink when I'm bored, I just drink. So why am I trying to moderate? Well I do know it's bad for my health, I'm tired of poor sleep, tummy aches and waking up not remembering how the evening ended.

My 'wake up' moment was just a few weeks back, I was emptying my weekly bins and discovered 14 bottles! That's 2 bottles a night. It was shocking. I realised over time, I've needed to up my intake to get that same buzz. I was very disappointed & disgusted with myself. I would like to think maybe I accidentally forgot to bin a few bottles from the previous week, I don't know.

Anyway we live and learn and I am happy to say that week has not been repeated since. I still have a long way to go. So today I'm going to the supermarket to try all those AF drinks you all rave about. I'm going to fight the wine witch!

Have a lovely day :)

Good morning @Amdone123 thank you for the tag. I’ve caught up with everyone. I’m back from my holiday and I think k managed quite well. I did not have any AF days but moderated every day and never had a hangover or drank more than I planned and it was all quite instinctive so I think this thread has really helped me. I share @Amdone123 hatred of hangovers and when I look back at how many days I’ve ruined with feeling like crap then it makes me a bit sad but no point in regrets (I could waste days on drinking-related regrets) - onwards and upwards. I thought I’d struggle to have AF days after the 15 day alcohol streak but actually it was ok.

i know I’ve said this before but does anyone else miss being a bit drunk? I like that feeling you have in the pub after 3 large glasses of wine - the problem is then the wine monster wakes up and I drink way too much and feel like shit. I used to have lovely evenings on the rare occasions when I had an evening to myself when I would get some nice food, drink some wine and watch crap movies and I really enjoyed that! But now I get the 3 am terror if I do that so I guess I’m too old for it now! I know that people would say you shouldn’t need the alcohol to do that but the truth is it is better with the wine!

Hi @Amdone123 and everyone , things are going bad to worse, I think I’ve broken up with my long term partner and I’m not coping at all . It’s 430 now and how I’m not drinking yet I don’t know ? I know it’s the worst thing I can do but it atleast numbs the pain . This week has been awful , drinking getting bad again and feeling more and more down. I have friends and family but they don’t get the pain or the drinking ? I’m sorry as this isn’t a relationship thread but I’m totally gutted and I want to do is drink it away now

It's only Thursday, and I've already used up my two drinking days this week (I knew this would happen eventually!)

It's been a bad week - I tested positive for bloody Covid so the first day was medicinal- and now poorly elderly cat has had to have another operation.
I'm now testing negative and cat has pulled through again and I really want a drink to celebrate! Plus I'm on antivirals which taste really horrible and it might help.

I didn't do it! I had some chewing gum instead, can still taste the horrible taste and it would have spoiled my drink anyway!

Morning! I failed. I've pissed on my dry August, bit mad about that. Had wine last night with DD, who had a mini heart to heart about her relationship and move. Could see it coming in a way. Don't have a hangover because only had 2 glasses. But SO pleased I did over a week AF. Now must get back to moderating properly. Not drinking solo in the evenings; Never at lunch time. Perhaps only have a glass at weekends. Oh the plans that I make! But happy about being AF after a long stint of not managing one day.

@Jbob1976 I'm sorry that you're going through a tough time. You post here as much as you want to. Understand and the pain and the drinking. They often go hand in hand. Just don't forget that numbing the pain doesn't make it go away completely, and that afterwards you still have the pain and the results of the drinking. One day at a time. Hand hold from me.

Well done @Freezingfeetwarmheart !! You did it!. Hope you get over the Covid stint very quickly and best wishes to poorly old cat.

I feel like I've let you down @Amdone123 . Will see if I manage a dry September.
Might be easier as going away with non drinking friend for 12 days. @Bigbus I can relate to practically all of your last post. From the regrets of the tipsy feeling to the middle of the night anxiety. Also working hard on my moderating.

@PositiveDays get those boxing gloves on! Down with the Wine Witch.

Hope you all have a good day. Take care. SSS!

@Nowstrong you haven't let me down - you've been doing really well.
Why don't you aim for a number of af days for August - give yourself some leeway ?

I fell off the wagon too. 1 bottle of wine and today I feel sick, my head is banging and I'm so tired.
I really need a plan for my holiday 🥴

Thanks for the tag @Amdone123. I haven’t been great. Definitely not AF. And waking up around 3am every night and taking ages to get back to sleep. My own fault.

Need to get back on track moderating. I’m going to try for a few AF days next week. My best friend arrives from Australia next Saturday and that definitely won’t be AF so a few days off before will be good for me.

@Jbob1976 - really sorry you are still going through so much. I hope things start to look brighter.

@Amdone123 actually that is a good idea. I seem to want to have so many AF days in a run, when in the long run a set amount of AF days in the month would do me just as good. Another plan to make.🤔

Writing this week off now and starting again next week. We had a "really bad day clause" built into the two drinks a week rule, but this week is now at "fuck it, this is a really bad week" clause level.....

As if getting bloody Covid wasn't bad enough(testing negative now though!)... poorly old cat was steadily going downhill after the surgery. We took her back to the vets today - vet thought she just may need more fluids to help her through the initial recovery but as they don't have overnight staff there sent us to the practice a few towns away that does. The vet at the new place wanted to run bloods and it was the worst possible news, everything had gone downhill.and she was heading for organ failure. We decided it was time to say goodbye 😢

So a few drinks have been had. I'm pretty sure we have run out of things that can possibly go wrong now so back on it next week , but I'm at the "sod it, let's just write this one off" stage now.

@Freezingfeetwarmheart I'm so sorry. I know from personal experience how heart breaking this is.
Just get through it the best way you can ❤️

I am sorry @Freezingfeetwarmheart. So sad.

Hi can I join in please? I'm trying to ideally give up wine completely but at least moderate. I've been doing this for about a year or so now but I can't get past the weekend wine urge!
@Freezingfeetwarmheart so sorry. We had to do the same thing a few years ago and I still miss our old cat.
I had three glasses last night (I usually try to stick at 2) so am feeling a bit bleurg this morning and I have a horrible mouth ulcer in my cheek. Have to take DS to the hairdressers then going into town for some bits. Might try and find some nice AF cocktails or something.

@LydiaWickhamsBonnet hi and welcome !
The weekends are difficult aren't they ? Well done for cutting down through the week though, that's a great start.
Weekends are also so ingrained in us, as a society really, as relaxation / drinking time. I suppose when people work all week, they do want downtime.
( my granddaughter is crying so I'll be back....)..........

....she's OK....grandads got her 🤣

I never thought I could have af weekends but I've had many. I quite enjoy them. Never seem to manage 2 on the trot though.
Af beers are good, af kopparberg and af gin n tonics are a good bet.

I so wanted a glass of wine earlier on but, by the time I could have one, realised I really didn't want one. Rocking my sleepy tea!

@Jbob1976 I'm sorry to hear things have not been so great. I really hope you manage to find a way forward and things get better soon.

@Freezingfeetwarmheart hope you're feeling better and sorry to hear about your cat

@Nowstrong thanks for cheering me on. To be honest it has been a tough first week. I started off with a can do attitude, sadly the weekend ruined everything. There are days I drank far less than I usually would have, but it's as if I decided to overcompensate at the weekend.

So overall, there was no reduction in my overall units at all! Very disappointing. Today marks a new week and I really want to have made some progress by Sunday.

Wishing everyone a great day.

Hello Everyone - hope you don't mind if I join you. I've managed to cut down the amount I drink fairly well (I think) and I spend large chunks of the year totally AF. Then a social occasion crops up or a holiday and I think 'well, what harm can it do' and end up drinking myself into oblivion, making a complete tit of myself and blacking out.

After not doing this all year, this weekend I did and now I am filled with shame, dread, embarrassment, anxiety. My chest actually hurts. I know it will subside and I know I can stop - Day 3 - yay! However, I think I need to make this a forever commitment rather than a fixed period which is what I usually do - 1 month, 3 months a year etc.

Does anyone feel 'flat' now they are AF? I find this is what happens to me, its like I don't feel the euphoria that booze gives.

This seems a very supportive place to be and its comforting reading other peoples musings and realising how similar we are.

Not a great weekend although I remember all of it so that is something. I need to cop on this week though.

Sorry for slow reply @Amdone123 - averaging 2-3 wine fuelled evenings a week here. Usually just over a bottle so not ideal. Sometimes 1.5 🤦‍♀️

I still can't work out what it is that makes me want to drink. After stressful days with DS I want wine, after productive days working I still want wine. There doesn't seem to be a particular reason. I've mentioned on here before that I think I might have ADHD and I'm wondering if I'm just in search of that dopamine hit. I'm not sure. It's been 2 days and I've already thought about cracking open a bottle multiple times today (tonight I mean), even though yesterday I was thinking I need a good break. The day after wine is easy for me to be AF, but then the day after that the craving is back again. It's not like I'm not busy, I've got plenty both work wise and hobby wise that I could be doing. I just can't put my finger on it.

Sorry to hear you're struggling @Jbob1976 would it help to chat about your personal problems here? Safe space ❤️ how have you been doing the last few days?

Evening all! Been a good but a bad AF weekend here. So busy feeding the ravenous, and drinking more than I should. Don't think I was more than tipsy. I liked the feeling but God, did I sleep badly. Yesterday same again. I'm absolutely knackered today. I'm making pizzas for DD and family and helped them move a lot of boxes and furniture around. I am SO tired. DD has just called to say they would be late and I just want to go to bed. Really hot here too. Been drinking a max of water and have the most horrible heart burn too.
Back to moderating and abstaining for me it is. Feel absolutely disgusted by the thought of having a drink. Fizzy water it is for me for the next few days.
Tomorrow I'm having a massage. That should relax me much more than a drink.
Sending slightly guilty vibes but staying positive. Will do better tomorrow. SSS

Well DH has gone to the shop for wine. What the fuck is wrong with me 🤦‍♀️

Welcome @SisterMaryLuke and any other newbies since I last posted. Yes I find I don't crave alcohol and I feel all holier than thou when I'm having a dry month (once a year 🤣) but if trying to moderate I over analyse it all and think I need to drink on x occasion, just because. Or that I shouldn't but what if people ask why etc.

As expected my units have been high this month because of the school hols and having lots of plans, going away etc. And I'm fine with that as I will get back on the moderating come September (I hope!). Saying that I've still had 7 out of 12 dry days so far (not counting today as I MAY have some wine later with my mum, I keep swinging back and forth from be good to go for it) but Thursday I had about 2 bottles of wine/prosecco and was worried I'd have hangiexty etc. luckily I didn't, maybe because we drank it from afternoon til midnight, but still felt tired and a bit groggy first thing with the thirst, then when I drank the next day I had to stop because of bad heartburn, which did me a favour. Had 3 AF days since then but may crack open some wine while I put my feet in the paddling pool.

Hope everyone is doing well and sorry to hear of those of you struggling, both life generally and with drinking. It's so hard sometimes and you can have the best intentions that then go out the window!

By the way that is 2 bottles just me on Thursday, as we think we had 6 bottles between 3 of us from what we can remember!

I think most of us on here would read that as 2 to yourself @Flumpywoo 😅 glad you managed to avoid the hangiety!