On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

Hi All. Having a rough week with no self control whatsoever. Had loads to be getting on with today but was hungover so wasted it and now have even more to cram in tomorrow. So annoyed with myself but chin up and carry on. Hope everyone's doing OK.

AF day 3 done! So today is day 4. If I stay strong, but I seem to be determined at last. In the right mindset. Funnily enough I don't feel 100% well, have a nagging head ache. I'm putting it down to dehydration and the heat, but think that it might simply be going cold turkey. Will see how it goes, but I'm decided to try my best. and resist any temptation.
@Needtokickthehabit I know exactly what you mean by lack of will power. Just do your best. It ebbs and flows, like the tides.
Not feeling very communicative, so wishing you all well. Stay strong.

@Nowstrong well done on Day 4. I had a banging head the other day - despite drinking 3 litres of water a day. It's the sun. Keep going.
@enoughisenough4 how did last night go ?
@Liverpool52 i hope you have a better day today. Post here if you're tempted. Try to get today af and you'll feel so much better tomorrow.

Well, overall I would say yesterday was a success. Not resounding and needed some improvement but all good. I'm up this morning 6am ( which would definitely not have happened had I carried on). I'm in work, feeling energetic and in control.

@Amdone123 it went well thank you! I was perfectly happy with my AF wine and didn't feel like I was missing out at all. They offered me a proper wine a couple of time but I said no. I could drive myself back (I say they're neighbours but it's actually a 10 min walk/2min drive) and of course I didn't get the urge to carry on when I got home. So all in all a success!

Well done on being in control!

@enoughisenough4 that's great, well done.

Thursday: 3/4's a bottle of wine and 3 beers.

Morning all! AF day 4 done. I think I'm on a control high. Housework gone down the drain a bit but going to tackle that after my morning tea and hanging out the washing.
Scales looking good, feeling less bloated and slept extremely well.
I'm thinking that the sleep factor may perhaps also be a reason, or cause, of my difficulty in getting into the AF mood. When I drink I don't sleep too well. Just musing, also known as looking for excuses.
Anyhow, am invited this evening, will try to resist all temptation as driving. Could be on AF day 6 tomorrow. Sounds good.
Got tons to do, and a dessert of some sort to take with me this evening.
Hope you all have a good start to the week-end. SSS

@Nowstrong you're doing well. Keep going and day 6 af sounds like a realistic aim.
Tiredness is an issue I think. I drink when I'm tired, and drinking makes me tired as I don't sleep. A vicious circle.

I only had a glass of prosecco last night, but only because that's all I had. I was tempted to get more but I've a busy day today with my granddaughters and a hangover not good.
So, I'm fresh enough today.

Hi all
Just checking in and being accountable.

So I went exactly 5 wks alcohol free....35 days. Didn't find it too difficult to be honest, once I got over the first few days and on a roll it was fine and I substituted a lot with AF beer. My aim when I started was to moderate but the AF days kept clocking up and I thought why not keep going.

But....Away with friends this wk for 2 nights.
1st night I started off on AF beer but being away, the fun, the girls, we were having a meal and I succumbed, thought I deserve this, I ve been so good, and I had 3 glasses of wine. Woke up at 5am dehydrated and a bit groggy.
2nd night I drank a full bottle of wine. Again woke early and had upset tummy, felt a bit rough.

Did I enjoy it? Yes. Do I feel guilty? No.
Moderation is the key for me.
Back on AF Day 3 here and maybe i ll have a drink this wkend or maybe I won't. I m not making any promises. If I can moderate alcohol going forward that is my goal. Going on holidays in couple of wks and I do want to drink in moderation then.
Anyway, wishing you all luck. Just holding myself accountable.

@Wakeupcall12 5 weeks af was brilliant well done.
It's great that you don't feel guilty ( you shouldn't) and also that you enjoyed your nights away.
The greatest positive being that you can go af for a good amount of time.
You've got a good balance, I'd say.

Morning! Still AF. Day 6 today. Yesterday went out for dinner and came back having been on water all day (still very hot here) put the dish washer and washing machine on at 00H35. Would never have done that after drinking. Even 2-3 glasses.
So feeling generally good. I think I've got a halo growing 😇. Have also calmed the nibbling down, slightly. But that is another problem. Feeling so energetic at the moment, even if I do laze around in the afternoon with the double excuse of the olympics and the heat. But manage to get a great amount done in the morning. Sleep is so good.

@Wakeupcall12 well done for the 5 weeks! I'm trying to aim for something similar just to know that I can do it. Would even like to try several months, but perhaps being a bit too enthusiastic there. One day at a time.

@Amdone123 I agree with the vicious circles. At the moment I'm in a non vicious one, so just hope that I can keep going round AF.

@enoughisenough4 you are doing well. @Liverpool52 keep trying. I sometimes wonder where self control buggers off to sometimes.

Hope you all have a good Sunday. Busy day for me, DD is moving and I'm acting as daily canteen. SSS.

I'm new to this thread and would love to join. Been reading previous posts and very encouraged by everyone's will power and support. My nemesis is red wine. I love it but I drink way too much averaging a bottle every night! My goal would be to drink only on weekends and a max of 2 bottles. Maybe only even just 1. The thought is daunting. Today is day 1 AF. I have no wine in the house and won't be buying any. I have downloaded the NHS drink free days app and apparently 90% of females my age group drink less than me. That's just made me feel really upset with myself. I want to be healthier, lose weight & save a ton of money that I'm wasting at the moment. I will continue to read the rest of previous posts. Thank you for this thread.

Friday : 2 bottles of wine and I was in a bad way yesterday however hair of the dog meant I managed to drink 7 beers yesterday.

There is a bottle of wine in the house. My plan is to be super busy today, get home and sip at the one bottle and buy no more and then tomorrow go to half a bottle. I want to just be a weekend drinker but think i am fooling myself.

Hi, been reading and feel like I need to join to help me abstain or moderate. Got a bad hangover today and anxiety through the roof. Need to get a handle on this as the next day is not worth the night before x

@PositiveDays @Nume hi and welcome. I'll reply with more later - just got my granddaughters. And a hangover. Great 🥴
But you're both in the right place and well done for taking that first step.
@Needtokickthehabit lots of us on here are just weekend drinkers, I think it's a good target for you.

Thanks @Amdone123 - feeling so low that I’ve done this again and wasted a lovely day to boot. Need a mechanism to stop overdoing it which I can do but need to set this in my head before the night else it can go to pot. I won’t drink in the week but have a night out Friday that will be the first test. Onwards and upwards hopefully 🤞

@Nume anxiety after drinking is awful isn't it. It's actually a major reason many of us on here want to abstain or moderate. It does make you wonder if it's worth it. It's great that you won't drink through the week.
What do you want to do Friday? Abstain or just have a few ?
I think having a plan is great. I'm a planner so tend to stick with my plan. Mostly.

@PositiveDays hey, we're the same. I try to just have 2 bottles at weekend, sometimes 1 and a few beers, sometimes none - we could fo this together if you want.
The benefits you've listed are absolutely realistic and doable.

Well, I was at a party all day yesterday. I drank quite a lot. I enjoyed the party but I know I drink the wine initially because I'm anxious and I don't really enjoy such occasions. I'd rather go for a meal with dh.
Anyway, I'm very good at saying no to invites as I get older, but I couldn't yesterday - it was a very special occasion.

I go away Saturday but I'm planning to be af til then, if anyone wants to join me ❤️

@Amdone123 I could do with an AF week tbh, so I'm up for joining you.

I had my day drinking event yesterday and whilst I did drink, I didn't feel out of control at all and I stopped before I went too far. I even had the last glass of my AF wine at my neighbour's house (we went back there for a drink afterwards) even though they offered me actual wine. Really pleased I didn't get too carried away and didn't spoil today either.

Welcome @Nume and @PositiveDays - you are in good company here. I also got the same result on the NHS app that 90% of women drink less than me. I average about 3 bottles a week (sometimes 4)

@Needtokickthehabit how are you doing on sipping your one bottle tonight?

@Amdone123 Yes I understand how you feel at a party, that’s where I was yesterday too. Started off great but then was pretty hazy at the end, drank too quickly at the start - had been a bit of a hectic day - so all awareness went out the window and then was too late! I’ve beaten myself up a lot today but will have to put it behind me.

Come Friday I’d like to drink two only, reading this and other threads have really helped too. One particularly to start on a soft drink for the first hour or so.

I’ll stay AF with you until Friday at least!

@Nume @enoughisenough4 great, let's do it.

@enoughisenough4 you did really well yesterday, well done.
@Nume I used to beat myself up a lot. In fact, I only stopped since being on here, as I realised I would never speak negatively to anyone else, so I wasn't doing it to myself. I just accept it and move on. Sometimes I write it down, that helps.

That's a good plan for Friday. I read somewhere that it's really only the first 2 drinks that have any effect. The drinks that follow, you're trying to catch the high. It made sense to me. I'm not sure I could stop after 2 though.
I'm best not starting really.

Thanks again I am feeling more in control already from joining this thread.

Thank you for the warm welcome @Amdone123 and @enoughisenough4

I definitely need an accountability partner. I found myself eating a lot this evening as I usually fill myself with wine instead. I need to find something healthy to replace the wine. I drank a lot of water but it's not the same. I've never tried AF drinks, is there anything close to red wine in taste?

Morning all. Still AF. Feeling slightly proud of myself. Today is day 7. A whole week! Going to be super busy so it should be a no brainer as I won't really have time to think about drinking or not. Will then be house/cat/goldfish sitting, so will be back and forth a lot for the next 20 odd days. Will keep my mind busy. Still feeding the movers too. That will also stop me listening to the old hags sitting on my shoulder, trying to whisper in my ear "have a glass, go on..."

@Needtokickthehabit I try to be a weekend or on occasions only drinker, but at the moment I'm aiming for longer as I've been through, what I felt was a losing battle and was drinking daily and solo again. Do your best, keeping a diary of your drinking is the beginning of taking back the control. Messaging here is also my life saver.

@Amdone123 I'm with you too until Friday, am aiming for whole of August but aiming is not hitting the target, in a group it's easier. So with @Nume (welcome) and @enoughisenough4 we are a quartet. That's sweet.

@PositiveDays welcome. I've tried several AF drinks, my go to ones are AF beer, AF spritz and also AF Suze and tonic. I've tried Rosé wine which when really chilled is surprisingly good. Sparking AF wine is also very palatable. But AF red wine, to me, just tastes gross, like grape juice that's gone off. But you'll have to test and try. We all have different tastes.

Well, I'm off! Got loads to do. Sending positive vibes to all. Love yourselves and SSS.

Morning all, new week beckons. Have to admit my drinking is worse than ever. My personal troubles continue and only way I cope is to drink myself to sleep every night and drinking more and more. I’m feeling terrible now as I type, anxious , nervous, teary the lot. I know it’s the booze coupled with my problems. I know I need so badly to stop again but the thought of not drinking myself to sleep to forget everything scares me so much. I feel I need that security as if I don’t my mind races and I get upset anyway and I’ll cry myself to sleep.