On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

Morning @Freezingfeetwarmheart well done for only having 3 drinks, that's really good. It's good your partner in crime is wanting to make changes, too.

I drank Saturday but not yesterday. I'm going out on Thursday so I really need the next 3 days af, which I can probably do. And for Thursday, I need a plan !

@Bigbus - I did wonder! Maybe……

Not much moderation here over the weekend and I’m feeling it this morning.

But planning AF mojitos tonight. There is no white wine in the house which is good. Lots of red unfortunately but I’m definitely going AF tonight.

@Bigbus @Peridot1 sadly not - we didn't go to the pub. They had plenty of wine in the house 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Got a day drinking event on Saturday which I'm getting a little worried about as I just struggle so much to control once I start!

@enoughisenough4 - we had one of those last weekend and I normally struggle to keep a lid on it too. I started with a soft drink and then drank prosecco rather than wine as I seem to drink less of that. White wine and soda is my other go to if I’m being sensible. Last week I also watched other people who apparently don’t have to jump up to get another drink as soon as they finished one! Who knew?! 😂 So I waited a bit between drinks.

@Peridot1 we get a welcome Prosecco on arrival and some gin cocktails provided. I'm going to try not to buy any boozy drinks and just have the ones provided but I know I'm just so weak 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ when I got to my neighbours the other day we kept a bottle aside for me so I could monitor what I was drinking, and of course I ended up having 'just one more' after mine was finished which is never just one more 🤦‍♀️

Morning all! Well I'm certainly on a very bumpy road at the moment. Can't seem to have 1 AF day. Will do my best today.
Also feeling very lazy. Am going to sport as they are booked sessions, but otherwise I'm lazing around, not doing very much. Still putting lots of junk into my mouth. Feeling puffy and generally in a bad mood.
I'll have to pull my socks up before tomorrow as my friend is coming to stay (doesn't drink, yeah 😄) so normally that will get me started on the AF run, at least for 3 days.
I'll be housesitting in a week's time, nothing to drink there and don't intend to buy any, perhaps a change of surroundings will also help, plus cats to moan at.
I'm going to say it here, but only say it, not promise it, I'm going to try a dry August.
Will report back soon, hopefully with dry news. Feeling really brave all of a sudden.
Now that I've written that down I don't know if I feel frightened or empowered. Frightened to let myself down again. Empowered to think that perhaps I could do it.
No promises. Sending as positive vibes as possible to all.

Struggling here to do an AF day too @Nowstrong. Started well last night and had an AF mojito while cooking but then we went outside for a glass of wine and ended up having a bottle and a half between us.

Strange isn't it how sometimes we're on a roll and other times, we can't seem to do 1 day af. It always reminds me of trying to lose weight - more of a mental exercise than anything else.

I didn't drink Sunday. I was a tad hungover though so that's probably why. Yesterday at work I noticed I'd brought my purse ( I'd just picked my bag up on the way out, without really thinking), and then thought oohh, wine and the Olympics would be nice.
Anyway, I didn't cave, 2 reasons 1) - I'm getting fed up of the cost and 2 ) - I didn't want hangover today. Slept from 8pm til 8am and so glad I didn't.
I'm tempted today as tennis is on and possibly Murray's last match, but we'll see. I've no idea why that needs a drink - probably because it doesn't.

I'm out Thursday with a friend who drinks quite heavily. Last time I was out with him, it got very messy. I'm not going to repeat that and I've already told him. Feeling pretty determined with that one.
The thought of a 5 hour cleaning shift on Friday is at the forefront of my mind.

Morning all! Did it! Day 1 AF = done. So glad! Small steps but determined. Had guests yesterday evening but let them drink wine and had an AF beer, then water. Feel capable of continuing but won't sell the bear skin without having killed the beast first. I really needed to be able to do this first AF day. It was like an impossible feat all of a sudden. Did nibble yesterday, but one thing at a time.

Feeling stronger in my mind. Slept well. Feel slightly less bloated. Determined to continue. I still have many hurdles to leap over, dinners, BBQs, events (staying in the Olympics mood). Got today, Thursday and Friday under control as my non drinking friend will be with me, and my only drinking/weak time is in the evening. Saturday, am invited to dinner, but "long" drive there and back, so easy to stick to water. Also necessary to keep my driving licence. Sunday, will be reading this thread to keep my resolution strong.
@Amdone123 very strange the periods we go through, being able to moderate, abstain and all of a sudden, can't do either. Our brains are wired in a vulnerable way and even an unconscious inner battle can make us stick to the devil's drink. I also think that the WWWs are always out to get us. I thought that they might be on holiday, but seems not.
Stay strong you lot! I'm doing my best here to send positive vibes. Hope you all have a good day.

@Nowstrong well done, that's great to hear. You sound so positive and organised in your thinking for the next few days, too.
As much as I hate to have to plan around 'it', I have to - it's just the way it is.
I've been tempted Monday and last night but I managed to avoid. The tennis was just as good without it. I won't drink tonight as I'm out tomorrow ( that's what I mean about planning!).

And, for tomorrow, I've booked my lift home at 6pm so I'm not tempted to stay out drinking. More planning - all very necessary.
Positive thoughts and vibes well and truly recieved @Nowstrong .

So DH brought wine back last night - 2 bottles between us but of course that wasn't enough for me and I hot footed it to the shop 5 mins before closing and got us another mini wine each and a gin tin thing. I feel horrible today. Was horribly hungover on Saturday (to the point where I had to cancel my haircut) and now I'm hungover again today. Twice in the same week can't be good. In early 30s, I can't keep doing this to myself or I'm going to run into some serious health problems 🤦‍♀️ if I haven't already

@enoughisenough4 I've done the hot footing plenty of times, so you're in good company.
Also, early 30s is a great age / time to evaluate your habits and make changes.
I don't like regrets but I wish I'd have done something then. I don't even think it was a problem to me then - it was just something I did.

( It's best for me nowadays to not even start on the wine BTW - I just carry on, and I am hating hangovers with a passion ).

Ok so Im back to cutting down. Or trying to. I might just add to this every day to keep myself in check.

On sat night I did have two full bottles of wine. I felt like hell the next day.
Sunday night 2 bottles beer and a full bottle of wine
Monday 2 bottles beer and a full bottle of wine
Tuesday: 4 cans beer and a 25cl bottle of wine

Hello everyone , long time no speak, sorry been turmoil in my head. Been reading everyone’s posts 😊 can hardly say been moderate at all lately , been managing 2 af dats a week but still doing 50/60 units a week which is not good. My personal life is a mess and that’s main stimulant for my drinking, nothing will change short term and I have to admit im not in right headspace to stop, I feel I need that release before bed so I can crash out. The only consolation I have is that I always have 2 af days a week just to prove I can but I hate them tbh and long to drink on those days. I promise I’ll post and reply more, will be spending more time alone now so that’s dangerous for me

@Jbob1976 post when you can. There's always someone here - just take it slowly. At least you're managing 2 af days. That's something.
@Needtokickthehabit it's a good idea to write it down here. Might try that myself.

Hi all,

I'm still checking in occasionally.

Just worked out I'm around day 95 of being AF.

Can't quite believe it. I had to search back through my phone to find a photo of the first weekend without alcohol - remembered because I took a photo of my first AF beer ever to remind myself of the label.

It's become pretty normal for me now, yet before I'd had 30-plus years of being a solid binge drinker.

I don't know if I'll stay AF forever but I've had a few temptations and decided each time that clarity and not numbing my thoughts was a better option than drinking my emotions,

Also waking up in the morning without fear of what I've said, text or done is just worth the world.

Hope everyone here finds what they're looking for.

Will keep checking in if that's ok.

@NextPhaseOfLife of course keep checking in we need the inspiration. Well, I do !
You're doing so well - especially as you'd drank for 3 decades previously. It's brilliant.
A friend of mine is a long time sober after some very heavy drinking for a couple of decades, and she says she hardly thinks about it.
Wish I didn't.

Morning all! AF day 2 done! So pleased. It even seemed easy. Or let's say easier.
@NextPhaseOfLife please keep inspiring us. We, I, need that.
@Needtokickthehabit good idea of keeping a diary here, good reminder and helpful for everyone.
@Amdone123 I agree that I wish that I didn't think about it so much too. Might happen come some day.
Will check in tomorrow. Hopefully still AF.
Strength and soberness to all! Have a good day.

Thanks so much @Amdone123, @Nowstrong

I'm in my 50s and started drinking as a teenager. Bottles of cider and alcopops turned into bottles of wine and Prosecco. Aside from pregnancies, alcohol has been a big part of family life and socialising.

My friends have accepted it now - that was my big worry - and my DH is drinking less, none at home at all, which I think was part of my motivation.

The thought of going back to how I was keeps me strong.

But I've had many half hearted attempts before this one so I'm not complacent.

What I have found is that going completely AF has been much much easier than sticking to 'normal' drinking levels, if there is such a thing.

If I drink, I want to drink as much as I want. Which is a lot - so having nothing is much easier.

Wednesday: Bottle of wine.

Hi there @Needtokickthehabit

I've read through your posts. How are you? Are you able to get some support in real life?

You write so well. I'm sorry you're going through so many things.

@Nowstrong well done on staying af. And @Needtokickthehabit it's decreasing so that's good.
I'm on day 5 but that's going to change today as I'm meeting a very close friend for his birthday. I feel different today though - I will drink, but I'll also eat, I'll be home for 7pm at the latest ( lift booked), and I want to be up bright n early tomorrow for work.
And I'm not taking cigarettes. If I don't have any, I can't smoke.

@NextPhaseOfLife I have loads of help sadly what I do not have is willpower! I will get there eventually but thank you so much.

Positives from today - I drank beer for the first few rounds. I found my way home - made my friend's day !
Negatives - I then drank wine, and smoked. I didn't eat,
Arghhh - not too good, really.

@Amdone123 we've all been there! Back on (or should I say off) it tomorrow!

@Needtokickthehabit a good idea to put it all down here.

My friend (same neighbour as the other day) has invited me over tonight for a craft and wine session with one of our other neighbours as well. I KNOW I can't trust myself so I'm just going to stay AF. I've been hungover twice this week already and I've got my daytime event thing on Saturday so I definitely don't want anything tonight. Got to try and keep in that mindset anyway!