On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

Morning all,

@enoughisenough4 hope all is ok and in same boat , drank very heavily at the weekend and feeling terrible now, not physically but mentally.
@Amdone123 Well
done you on weight loss and sounds like you had a really good week too, that’s lovely to read 😊
@lemonsaretheonlyfruit my plan was to only drink Fri and sat and it’s sooooo hard. Drank 4 out of 5 days now and feeling it now mentally , I’m not buying any today as reason why I stopped was because of feeling like I do now. Already thinking about not drinking tonight at this time of day?

@Jbob1976

I feel for you as I have had so many Mondays like this. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know but.. I find that after consecutive days of drinking - anxiety is at an absolute peak - so I have been known to reach for the wine on a Monday (day in really bad times) to get rid of the anxiety.

But if you can just do tonight without then as you know, you'll wake up feeling so much better tomorrow morning and won't like you want to quell your anxiety nearly as much.

I know exactly how you are feeling. I am a regular Sunday drinker and it's the worst day of the week to drink isn't it?

Good luck for tonight

Hi @lemonsaretheonlyfruit the drinking started Thursday and I haven’t reined it in. To be honest I’m glad I’m at work. I know what I’m doing and the result the following day so why do I do it?? I know first couple days at are worst but I have to do it. Sad thing is that the thought of having a drink in the evenings only thing that makes me happy yet it’s the cause of why I feel like this. Be twitchy later too

Yes I like my days in the office for that reason too. I have an AF beer on the nights when I am feeling twitchy or go for a long walk and then it seems to pass.

I know getting to sleep (and staying asleep) after 4/5 days consecutive drinking but last time it happened I just lay there and told myself that waking up feeling clear headed and proud of myself (even if sleep is broken) ,that's still better than waking up feeling awful physically and mentally!

Well, an af weekend and a 2lb loss, plus feeling good today. Been out walking, I'm now 'working'.
Weekend felt a bit flat, if I'm honest. Lots of positives, mainly due to the granddaughters, but overall was quite longggggg.
However, had I drank, I wouldn't have lost weight and I'd be feeling even flatter today, so I can't have it both ways.

@Amdone123

I totally get that. I felt like that when I went out to watch the football with work friends last week. I had 2 AF beers and left straight after the football (as they were 4/5 pints down). They went for a curry and ended up having quite a few more beers and a really good night.

Yes it would have been more fun at the time but I tried to think about how relieved I was to feel clear headed on Friday morning.

Not as much fun but as you say, we can't have it both ways. And an added bonus of the weight loss too. That's great!

Hi @Amdone123 and @lemonsaretheonlyfruit
I went shopping and bought flavoured water so I won’t drink tonight , I know I’m going to hate it but tomorrow morning I’ll be glad and hopefully be feeling less down and anxious. I need to get into a routine , abstaining for long periods won’t work for me long term, been thinking today I need to have 5 days off drink 2 days and stick to it. My problem is my home life , and I know a lot is my crazy head but I can’t see that changing long term and I question whether I’ll always be having episodes like I have had the last few days ? I know stress and troubles all part of tapestry of life but this is draining me now and bringing me down. I’m not making excuses as I drank even when happy but lately the drink dial rockets because of it. Gonna watch footy tonight and grin and beat it

@Jbob1976 well done on buying the water. Just try to get through tonight and I can guarantee tomorrow you'll be so proud of yourself. I actually think this stage is the hardest. Initially when we're going af, we're all motivated - always reminds me of being on a diet - then Life gers in the way and we think feck it. But then to get back trying takes guts, and you're trying to change. That in itself is commendable.

Hi @Amdone123 you know I had that exact same thought but instead I thought like going gym instead , when streak broken motivation drops and fall back into old ways. I can’t go back to old ways, apart from what it’s doing to my inside mum mental health has had it. Apart from my relationship I really don’t have a bad life, I have the most wonderful loving kids, even my son who’s 21 came along with us with his partner yesterday to a theme park and we had a lovely time. He knows what I am like and is great with me. When you say feck it moments, that’s one of my sayings when I’m drinking , stuff I don’t care when I do really. Fact I know I can do 15 days at gives me comfort , tonight and probably tomorrow will be uncomfortable but the mornings be worth it 🤞😊

Morning all! Just had an amazing night's sleep, and I know that it was because I was dead tired, but also today is AF day 4. Makes such a difference and I have been really busy. My lovely BF is staying with me until Thursday, then he goes home and I go on a long weekend staying with friends. He doesn't drink at all, so good company and sticking to water without even thinking about it really.
Back to sport as well. Haven't weighed myself, I'm trying not to obsess about my weight too much. I have enough worrying about how much I drink and to get that really under control, so I'm trying to stop my daily weighing sessions.
Feeling that I'm back in a good place mentally. I'm my positive self again and starting to relax properly. Not having to worry about what to cook, keep people occupied. Just play it by ear. No stress. Lovely.
@Amdone123 well done on the weight loss and for AF choice!
@lemonsaretheonlyfruit you made the right choice, enjoyed part of your evening and no suffering the next day.
@Jbob1976 habits are made by making small changes slowly, you're doing great. You know you can do it, you just have to accept that we became addicted slowly, this doesn't change overnight. Plus if at home everything is not calm, this makes it more difficult.

As @Amdone123 said, life gets in the way, but you are trying. Be proud of yourself. Always remember your successes. We tend to dwell on our downfalls, when we shouldn't. Always congratulate yourself for the good things and leave the rest. We can't change the past, we can only try to plan the future, so make the best out of the present.
Wash those Wine Witches and their Wicked Whispers out of our hair. Now I've put that song in your heads, for those of us old enough to remember it hope you all have a good. SSS!
For the younger ones https://www.google.com/search?q=i%27m+going+to+wash+that+man+right+out+of+my+hair&rlz=1C5CHFA_enFR843FR843&oq=I%27m+going+to+wash+that&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqDAgAEAAYExjjAhiABDIMCAAQABgTGOMCGIAEMgkIARAuGBMYgAQyBggCEEUYOTIJCAMQABgTGIAEMgkIBBAAGBMYgAQyCQgFEAAYExiABDIJCAYQABgTGIAEMgkIBxAAGBMYgAQyCQgIEAAYExiABDIJCAkQABgTGIAE0gEJNTg1MmowajE1qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:5848c44c,vid:qr3wH4u4xus,st:0

Hi @Nowstrong lovely morning read seeing you in a good place at the moment and looking forward to week ahead. Managed at free night last, feeling tad better this morning , fact I can go at for a day now is progress as a month ago it would have terrified me. I am
making progress, I know that. I need to sort my home life out as I know that is THE trigger for me to drink and drink heavy.

@Jbob1976 well done on being af last night, that's great. One day at a time now.

I wanted to drink yesterday. Probably because I hadn't over the weekend or maybe just because. I'm so glad I didn't take money to work. I nearly did and thought about it at the last moment. I also forgot my lunch so by 6.30pm I was not happy.
Day 5 soon crept up !
I entertained the thought of having a drink this evening ( football), which made me laugh. I don't even watch the football. And tomorrow is a busy day and it's going to be hot, so I'm going to not bother.

Morning all.

You are all doing so well.

I ended up drinking last night. We were bbq-ing and there was an open bottle of white wine in the fridge. Which was too tempting. But I had one glass and made it last. Didn’t quite finish it as I made it last so long it was warm!

As it was such a gorgeous evening here we then sat outside and I had two glasses of red as well. Drank them slowly too and had a glass of water alongside. So I feel ok about it.

I felt in control. It wasn’t an oh sod it night where once I decided to have a drink I just go for it.

Going to stay AF tonight though.

Morning all. Woke up this morning actually feeling annoyed I hadn't had a drink because I had a stinking headache. What's the point of not drinking if you wake up feeling like you have a hangover anyway. 🤣

Definitely need to drink more water in the heat. I am very much a winter person.

@Liverpool52 I hate it when that happens!
I didn't manage to last the week, I drank after work on Friday as had a stressful evening shift. I had two whiskeys (cadged off DH as I still haven't bought any more!) and a gin.

Back on it since though. @Amdone123 I also thought about having a drink with the football later - we are not a big football household either but will watch the odd international game if it's on! But then DH has decided he's playing badminton tonight and I was actually relieved!
I think I've managed to halt it creeping back up for now! Going to allow myself to drink two days a week I think, and only gin. It's also much easier for me now the weather is warm as I'm not craving the whiskey to warm me up. I'm sort of hoping I forget just how effective it is by the time summer is over!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart that's great that it's not creeping back up. I think that's why most people abstain, instead of moderate as it happens so easily. 2 days a week is a good plan. Would that be the weekend ?
I'd like to drink 3 days a week ( 1 weekday, Friday and Sunday, but it's too much. I might change it to 1 weekday and Saturday - that would work for me, actually. Cheers ! ).
@Liverpool52 I hate that, too. It's so annoying but a hangover is worse as it has, for me anyway, all those extras 🥴 ( eating too much, snappy, generally pissed off, etc, etc).
@Peridot1 that's good, you're in control which is important. It's good in that way, moderating, as so long as we don't go mad, we can still enjoy it.

Had an impromptu visit this morning in the form of a beautiful 7 month old. I gave her breakfast whilst my ds had a nap. I was thinking back to the days when I drank that much, that the next morning I couldn't get my head off the pillow - thank god, those days are gone.

Good morning everyone, I have been reading your messages and following along with how everyone is doing. Sounds like we've all been having our ups and downs but all moving forward.

I went away for a few days - first day was fine - had a few drinks by the sea. Second day I felt like I was moderating quite well - one drink with lunch, one by the pool later, half a bottle of wine at dinner, a few glasses of prosecco on the balcony. Seemed like a quite moderate holiday day and I never felt drunk at all. Then I woke up in the night feeling sweaty and anxious - when I counted up the units on my app it was 15! Like @Amdone123 mentioned above, I do feel a bit bored sometimes when I am AF/moderating. I would have liked to have been a bit tipsy and not to have to constantly be reigning it in - but then even when I think I'm moderating I end up with 15 units (over about 12 hours but still!!). I'm keeping up with the app and counting my weekly units. Luckily I found it easy to go back to being AF at the beginning of the week and I really feel the benefit.

So mostly ok here on the moderation front. I too might have a drink tonight but I'll leave it until later and then if I still feel like it I'll have one.

All the best to everyone.

@Amdone123 I want to be flexible with my two days - I do shifts so not always around at the weekend, but sometimes DH is around in the week. And if I drink in the week then I have to sacrifice a weekend day so it will make me think about it more!
So this week will be Tuesday (oops!) and either Friday or Saturday.

Just the two gins - I've been working hard in the garden all day so feel like I earned it!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart 🤣, yes that reward feeling ! 2 gins is great though. I should drink gin ( I've been saying this for years). I drank gin n tonic on holiday and really enjoyed it.

Being flexible is great and I've found this week that I keep putting it off. So, that's working. Just saying to myself, see how you feel tomorrow but get through today !
Day 6 today and feeling good.

Well last night was the opposite of AF or control.

Then I couldn’t get to sleep either so am shattered now.

Supposed to be going to a charity cricket match/lunch today and it will be very boozy. Contemplating driving. Or not going.

Morning all! Still AF, day 5, so this week I'll be keeping my promises to me. Feeling good. Still in a positive mind set, but I've noticed that very often goes with being AF. Physically feeling good too. Not bloated. Still not jumping on the scales, I'll bet there're thankful for that. Might wait until next week after my few days away. But even if I overdo a couple of meals, I won't be nibbling and that is my downfall weight wise.
My friends are very "let's have an aperitif" in the evening, but will take my AF beers with me to limit my intake to once or twice. Plus a good stock of fizzy water to try to veer away from the rosé.
But those are just my plans, will see how I get by. No need to worry about what I haven't even drunk yet.
Wishing you a pleasant day, here the weather is "different", it changes all the time, from lovely summer day to thunder and down pour.
SSS

Arghh the WW is teasing me tonight. Last few days have been ok and now it's all I can think about when I'm trying to work. Got a lot of work on atm (not complaining) but not much time to do it in, I think that's one of my big triggers 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

@enoughisenough4 I'm the same today. Was trying to wait til Friday but I've succumbed. I'll only have 1 bottle though. Work has been hard in this heat, dh has gone to Las Vegas and the tennis is on !
Sorry, I'm a bad influence there !!

@enoughisenough4 stay strong. I hate those urges. I move around for my job and sometimes it's a two minute walk home and sometimes it's an hour drive and I find it easier to cope with the urges when it's an hour drive because I have less time at home. Could you go for a walk until it passes - I know you said you have loads of work to do but taking the time to get over the itch might make you more productive?

I have the weirdest positive this week. On leave at home which would normally mean extreme excess drinking. Didn't have a drink on Monday. Had a few last night during a walk and same today. The drinkaware app is bleating at me that if I regularly drink this much etc and I can honestly say for last couple of months I haven't. I don't intend to do so next week. But I'm on leave so do one. I'm still running everyday, getting stuff done. But I can enjoy my leave without being silly.

@Amdone123 it's so easily done! As long as you're in control, you're ok ☺️

@Liverpool52 I know you're right but honestly unless I go for a walk until the shop closes (10pm) then I don't think a walk would help 🤦‍♀️ I'm seriously considering just buying a bottle to have while I do my work if I'm totally honest 🤦‍♀️