On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

For clarity I am self employed and I've got tedious stuff to be doing this evening - I'm not considering drinking on the job on some else's time 😅

@enoughisenough4 I know that horror so well. We're all here with you keeping you strong. ❤️

Thank you @Liverpool52 - just as I was thinking about going to bed DH suggested a game of monopoly, so that is what we are doing with a cuppa 😅 I did also actually consider your walk idea which I think I'll use another time

Morning all! AF day 6 here and still in a good place. I know that over the next few days I'll be having a drink or 2 with my friends while I'm staying with them, but I'm not feeling guilty. It will be evenings only and with moderation. I've slightly gone off wine shock horror!. I don't know if this is an early morning feeling while I'm typing this, or if it will last until this evening. I'll let you know tomorrow. Gosh the WWWs will be really effed off with me if one of their regulars pisses off. But let's not sell the bear skin before having killed and skinned it.
Extremely stiff from sport on Tuesday, so will be swimming for the next few days and hopefully will lose the old lady hobble that I have at the moment and thank God no-one can see me squatting down on the loo and trying to get up again.
Weather here seems to be getting itself into summer mode. Lots of crossing of fingers here.
Still haven't jumped onto the scales, who must be grinning in anticipation of the cry of disgust or surprise that will waken the neighbourhood when I eventually breakdown and leap.
Well done to everyone doing well. Don't worry to those not doing so well, we all go through phases, it isn't easy, and even if I sound very positive today, I don't know how I'll be feeling in a few days time. So, day by day it is. I definitively have noticed less "down" periods when AF, but I do have a problem remaining AF. Am getting better at moderating. Work in progress, but still a lot to accomplish.
Enjoy your day. Stay strong. Love yourselves. Sending positive vibes to all

Morning all.

Love your post @Nowstrong!

Im feeling good as stayed AF last night. No major plans to do so but just went with the flow and how I felt. We were due to go to a charity cricket match/lunch but I was feeling a bit weak and shaky and headachey so didn’t think an afternoon in the heat was a good idea even if not drinking. So we cancelled. Then I decided to have a soft drink while DH was cooking. Half thought I’d have a glass of red later but in the end didn’t bother. Went to bed really early as was tired and slept really well.

Planning on staying AF tonight too.

Hello all

I have been a bit rubbish lately. Not as bad as I have been but drinking most nights.

I don't feel able to cut it out completely, and that's scary.

Well done to everyone who has been doing well going AF free or moderating.

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine you're not alone in not being able to cut it out completely. I wish I could !
I had 1 bottle of wine last night then started on a second. Had 1 glass then went to bed. Poured the rest away this morning.
I feel tired today - headache and a bit flat.
What a difference to how I've been feeling when I'm af.

I feel the same as some of you do at the moment. Went a few weeks completely af but in my heart I knew I'd give in and I have. And as it always goes I moderate for a bit and now I'm back up to drinking my old levels. Scary how quickly I've slipped back. Not going to drink now until Monday and that's a birthday for a friend, a bit bad how I'm seeing that as a struggle tbh! It's 4 nights ffs. Just so easy to pick up the habit again. And I've felt so anxious and shitty so why oh why do I keep doing it.

@Amdone123 I'm with you .
So much better AF yet somehow I'm back to almost a bottle a night after work again.
I look at pics of myself pre wedding last year ... a stone lighter / skin glowing / no bloating. I felt ten years younger.

@mumzof4x I can relate. I'm not every night but I'm starting to be over a bottle when I do. Previously I wouldn't go over a bottle. I've put on so much weight after having DS almost 3 years ago and I haven't managed to get it off. I'm guessing you have 4 DC by your username so don't be so hard on yourself about weight! It's not easy.

I felt so positive today after not drinking last night, but the WW has got me tonight

Morning all! Well! Who WAS I kidding ??? Gone off wine! Bet the WWs were rolling on the floor laughing at that one.
Managed to slightly moderate. But had several glasses of rosé, with lots of ice. Did sleep well. But feeling a bit crappy this morning. Must rehydrate a max. So, I fell off the wagon and fallen out with the holier than thou me of yesterday...I should have known better. Good company, little tasty snacks and ice cold rosé got the better (or worse) of me. Failed big time. With my AF drinks untouched in the fridge.
Well. Will try again this evening. Not really expecting a miracle to happen. Will just have to enjoy it all and get back to being AF as of Tuesday. Normally another 7, or more, AF day stretch there.

Enjoy your day! Sending slightly guilty, but still feeling positive, vibes to you all

It’s really hard when you are socialising with friends @Nowstrong. And those WWs are cunning little beasts! Stubborn too!

I am feeling pretty good as stayed AF last night. I had a high frequency micro needling facial treatment yesterday and was advised to avoid alcohol afterwards. I’d had one before but still had a couple of glasses that night (as was so traumatised by the treatment!). This time less trauma as had numbing cream before (the things I do for vanity!). And even though we had spaghetti bolognaise for dinner and I love red wine with it and I even opened a bottle to add to the bolognaise I managed to resist and stuck to water.

I’d like to stay AF tonight but not sure. We will see.

Morning all
@Nowstrong thank you.
Yes it's hard juggling 4 dc even though they are mostly big and good people now it's like a constant juggle and they still need you .... sometimes more.
Doesn't help when they return and open the wine either!
It's my sons 21 this weekend so will not be able to resist any bubbles and will probably burst with mother son love and piss his three sister off. (In a good way they all adore him too)
Anyway looks like many of us have a few challenge's forthcoming and this site is a great source of support and advice thank you.
Today is a new day x
Will be AF Mon to Thursday that's all I can do right now but I will still be so so so happy if I do this .
Stay strong and be kind to yourselves. Hope everyone has a bit of sunshine in some form today x

@mumzof4x - happy 21st to your boy! Definitely a time for bubbles and celebration.

I would be quite happy to get into a routine of AF Monday to Thursday. It’s what quite a few of my friends do. It seems sensible and grown up for some reason!

Afternoon everyone, sorry haven’t been on
line this week, a lot has been going on. Been catching up reading everyone’s post and as usual can relate so much with the ups and downs and thoughts and feelings we all have . Had appt today on nhs and been referred to alcohol education programme on team meetings . As i want to moderate and not abstain this was agreed chosen path. This week drink wise been good after last weeks rather large hiccup, day 5 af and feeling better, I know that the next binge is just around the corner but I tallied days up and I’ve done 20 out of 25 days af now. After my chat today I know that this will be a constant daily battle for rest of my life and I’ll never just drink when I fancy it, I seriously don’t want to totally abstain and reading posts on here show that it can be done and accept we do make mistakes and that all human. On positive note my daughter is in labour with my first grandchild so I can wait to meet him(know it’s a boy) take care everyone and sorry I didn’t reply individually to people this week

How exciting @Jbob1976!

Sounds like you have had a really good week too. 20 AF days out of 25 is fantastic. Concentrate on those numbers rate than anything else.

@Jbob1976 yes, 20 days out of 25 is an 80% success rate, which is great.
Lovely news about forthcoming grandson

Morning all, grandson not here yet, he’s really dragging his feet!
day 6 af, all week have planned to drink tonight as a reward , will decide when go shops. Reading posts and we all seem to be able to go af for whatever short or long period of time but the habits return quickly as soon as back on the train for most, that’s “the”
challenge and it’s way too early for me yet especially after last week. I met up with an old school friend last night, they’re over in UK from Zambia, I drove so had to be af. I’m naturally a very quiet person but being af I felt I was more chatty and myself, drinking heavy can make me quiet and deep in thought even when out! Opposite to what a lot of people experience when drinking , I Hope you all enjoy today (hope it’s sunny where you are)take care

That baby seems comfy where he is @Jbob1976! Hope he arrives soon.

Well done on your week.

I think you are so right that we all fall back into old habits quite quickly. I suppose it’s to be expected as it is an addiction after all.

I half planned to stay AF last night but DH offered me a glass of wine and that was it. I had a glass of white and then a few glasses of red. We sat outside for a while and when we came in to watch tv I had half a glass left and thought I would just finish that and stop. Went to the loo and when I came back DH had topped me up. I ended up just having a sip of that while watching tv and wasn’t bothered abut finishing it. Sort of forgot it really and when we went to go to bed I realised I still had almost a full glass. Don’t think that’s ever happened!

We are bbq-later and I’ve bought myself a mini bottle of white wine so there won’t be a bottle open next week.

Im definitely planning AF Mon to Thurs next week.

Hi
Can I join please? I ve read this thread and previous ones and you all are amazing and so non judgemental and supportive.

I m on Day 6 and it's going OK. I never thought I d make it to nearly a wk ( day 7 tomorrow!!!) For me it s just one day at a time. Probably with a view to moderating in the future but I just dont know.... at the moment as I said one day at a time and I want to try & stay AF for a while.

But I think I might be tricking myself as I ve been drinking either AF wine or AF beer in a wine glass most nights since I stopped. Water isn't the same and I want to recreate the same scenario but AF instead!

Is this wrong to do?

@Wakeupcall12 hi and welcome onboard!
Well done on Day 6, ( day 7 now !), that's really good. I like your approach, one day at a time and spending some time af gives you some thinking time. There's usually lots to think about !
Drinking af drinks in your usual glass is great and it's working for you, so you carry on.
Are you feeling any other benefits ?

Well, was my birthday on Saturday and I didn't drink ( though I had 1 bottle of wine and a few beers on the Friday evening). I was too upset on my birthday ( first without the dog, and it just hit me, so I wasn't really in the mood 😪).

Didn't drink yesterday either. Had a lovely day, too. On my own all day as dh still in America, but I'd walked in the morning, I cooked, drank water and generally had a lovely day.
Hoping to get to Saturday af then I'll reevaluate.

@Wakeupcall12 - welcome and well done! And anything that helps you is good I think. So AF drinks in any glass works.

@Amdone123 - belated birthday wishes. Hugs abut missing your dog.

I drank at the weekend which was planned really. Trying to be more aware and not just keep going.

Back on AF today. I’m going away for a few days on Wednesday and will be staying at a hotel on my own but seeing people for dinners out but will be driving so should be able to stay AF. Maybe even Friday night which would be good.

Well here we are only two days after the last time I had wine, and the wine witch is out for me again. I drank Thursday night and Saturday and now I'm wanting it again already.

Going for a swim in a bit and hoping the feeling passes (doubtful).

Welcome @Wakeupcall12 and well done on a week AF! I personally don't think there's anything wrong with drinking AF free drinks if it keeps you off actual booze. Have you found a good AF wine yet?

@enoughisenough4 how did you get on last night ?
I'm on day 4, without even trying.

How is everyone @Bigbus @FiveShelties @Flumpywoo @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Jbob1976 @Liverpool52 @Needtokickthehabit @NextPhaseOfLife @Nowstrong @OhShitImNearly40 @Peridot1 @Shiningout @Swannyb @Wakeupcall12 @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @determinedtomakethiswork @lemonsaretheonlyfruit @mumzof4x @tahinitoast @theflyingcow

It's like winter here, so chilly. That's good for me since sitting in the garden can lead to wine, etc. I'm also off work this week and so pleased that I'm not spending it ( so far 🤞 ), drinking and being hungover.

Hi @Amdone123.

Im good thanks. Stayed AF last night and it was pretty easy really. Even with DH drinking.

Had a Fevertree Rhubarb and something tonic water which was really nice. Doesn’t need anything with it. Reminded me of the pink lemonade we used to get growing up in Ireland.

And I slept soooo well. Think I was asleep by 11 and slept right through till just after 6.

One of the reasons I started posting in this thread and trying to cut down on my alcohol intake was I got a bit of a fright with blood results I had had done thorough York Health. One liver result was high. I went to the GP this morning with the results as there were others they said needed a GP visit. However the GP says it’s all fine. The liver result that is a bit high would only be an issue if other liver results were concerning. So that’s a relief. I just have to not let it tempt me back!