Day 1 or 1000 all welcome on the tulips and snowdrops thread 🌷

[AFmammaG]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4930949-tulips-snowdrops-and-another-day-1?page=40&reply=134961706

Ladies I’m making this new thread as we’ve gone up to 993 posts on the other thread and I need to link it before we fill up!

Will post a proper into later.

@Housebythesea1 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Big day. Well done.

@IncognitoUsername 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 day 1 is another big day

Day 6, Day 40 too!

In fact, every day is a big day when it comes to making that one decision that could change the direction of your life. It really can make that difference.

For those just starting out, I now don't think about alcohol every day. It doesn't cross my mind to have a drink in the witching hour. In fact, that hour is now no longer there. It really can happen.

The only thing that crosses my mind occasionally is the thought of a really nice cocktail. Something fancy, enjoyed in a fancy bar. An occasion. That's what keeps drawing me back in to think 🤔 maybe one day. It used to be pints, but that urge has gone.

Have a nice bath, clean, go for a walk. Play a game with your kids, your partner or on your own. Start a jigsaw. Start a class. Go to the gym. Anything to distract at first. It gets easier.

Hi there @IncognitoUsername

I drank a minimum of 3 to 4 bottles of wine a week - more during Christmas/holidays/events etc.

I've stopped for about 2 weeks plus now, and just stopped.

There are some people on the boards who have drunk more and just stopped. There are others who mention medical detox.

What did the alcohol services suggest to you?

www.ukat.co.uk/blog/substance-abuse/quitting-alcohol-suddenly-more-dangerous-than-drinking/

I know the sun is out in some areas and it feels like sun has arrived but stay strong people!

if, like me, you don’t mind the fake alternatives, apparently M&S have a range of mocktails in cans which are also low sugar.

Also, I was drinking (at least) half a bottle of wine - typically a bit more than that - every day for a long time. And I just stopped and had no issues in doing so. But I am a big old heifer with a strong constitution if that makes a difference (not sure).

Checking in dry. Tonight was ok. I did feel the urge while making dinner and the kids were in the garden playing. It reminded me of last summer. I filled a wine glass up with ice and juice and lemonade. It helped pass the time until the urge went. I’m finding it so much easier at home now to be distracted. Amazing the difference a couple of months can make.

Hope everyone else is ok. @IncognitoUsername how are you?

@NCgoingdry well done for day 6! You will have your first week under your belt tomorrow 🎉 you won’t believe how much water I’m still get through each day. I must have been seriously dehydrated before! Maybe that’s why my skin looks better!

Day 1 was ok. Am a bit anxious but waoting to hear from friend who has gone to hospital with a relative so it’s an anxious kind of evening. And I didn’t use it as an excuse to have a drink.

Brilliant to hear that, @IncognitoUsername

Well done. Go to bed, Day 1 complete!

Well done @AFmammaG and @IncognitoUsername - brilliant to have day 1 ticked off and a Friday night!

Today was odd. Really bouncy and happy earlier, cross and really wanting wine later and then, boom, Northern lights, and I am having a moment of feeling very lucky indeed to have seen them in our little neck of the woods. If you’re still up, and you think they aren’t there, get your phone camera out on a long exposure and amazing things will appear….

Checking in still dry. Heading into day 7.

Clearly the quit lit and podcasts work because I listened to that "fucking sober" podcast where she goes out to a restaurant with her husband and kids and the husband tells the kids they should always be proud of their mum and she's amazing. This is after she's detailed walking past the beer garden and feeling all the shame from the previous nights. How she always put getting wasted above her kids but now she's actually listening to them. Even down to her kids ages.

When I picked my kids up usually I am snappy, tired, been working too much, always always low level hungover, always just rushing home to open the bottle.

This Friday I picked them up and it was relentless talking but I didn't mind. We stopped and spontaneously sat in the sun for half an hour and watched the world to by before heading home - I wasn't rushing back to start drinking. We spoke, we sung songs, we had fun.

And I just had this awful pang of - how much of this have I missed because I was fucking drunk.

Jesus.

Anyway it's going to be a beautiful day - we've got plans to head out and get the house absolutely spotless. (I've got so much time on my hands now I've even got ahead of the washing).

Only issue is - sorry TMI - I can't poo!!

@NCgoingdry that sounds like an absolute win you had. Not the poo part... although someone else on another thread had similar. I'm the complete opposite...

Went sober dancing last night. And I can do it!! Danced for a few hours, then left exactly when I felt like it and felt so happy with myself being able to walk out, get in my car and head home. There is a whole thing about this journey about pleasing myself and not others which I am fully embracing.

@NCgoingdry its really hard not to look back and feel that way. If your DC are older, you should listen to the Sober Awkward podcast next. I recommend starting at the first episode because you’ll get to know the presenters but one, Lucy has older children when she stopped. Some of her stories OMG. Getting home after a night out and her teenage daughter is waiting up for her because she’s worried and she has a black eye where she fell off a wall drunk.
Rather than feel sad about what has been I feel relief about what I won’t become

@Thelittlestranger well done on a sober night out that included dancing. I did that with my daughter on holiday. Luckily the dance floor was completely packed so no one was looking at me!! It was nice to be able to remember the evening clearly and how happy my daughter was. She’s never seen me drunk, something I use to motivate myself to continue this because I remember seeing my Mum drunk on occasion and it isn’t great.

@TimesaChangeling I’m such a donut I looked out and couldn’t see anything..l didn’t realise I had to use my phone 😆

Hello fellow AFers. Some good podcast recommendations- I’m going away for a city break overseas tomorrow so plan to download some for the plane.

@NCgoingdry - I suck lots of sugar free sweeties to help curb sugar cravings but they give me loose stools if I use too many -could help with constipation??

@IncognitoUsername congrats on day 1 - KOKO 💪

Today is day 10 for me so it’s good to hit double digits. I had a great day yesterday - gym in the morning, bit of shopping with DH then a BBQ with the DC, a few of their friends and the couple from across the street.

Normally I’d be desperate to drink and would probably sink more than a few shots in secret to get me “in the mood”. But I am so committed to beating this thing that I wasn’t even tempted to sneak back some vodka on my way Home from the gym. My DD and her friends don’t really drink and my son was driving so didn’t drink either (all early to mid 20s).DH and the neighbour bloke had some beers (neighbour wife doesn’t drink) so it was not threatening to me as I wasn’t surrounded by drunk people. (A huge issue for me is that I’m scared of drunk people (childhood trauma) so I cope by getting even drunker than them!).

I had such a lovely evening and it was so nice to know my DC wouldn’t be sitting there worrying I was going to get drunk and show them up. In fact DD probably wouldn’t even have invited friends if she thought I might drink.

Woke up bright and early feeling refreshed and sat in the garden in the sunshine thinking how good I felt. Then did two hours at gym classes before a healthy lunch. I’m now preparing a mammoth pamper bath session before packing for our trip.

this time last week I was still recovering from my bender. No one was talking to me and DH was saying he was cancelling the trip. I couldn’t go a walk let alone make it to the gym. I hadn’t eaten much for days so was stuffing all sorts of crap down my throat. I spent the day asking myself “why did I do it” etc etc and just being so sad and annoyed at myself.

Sorry this has turned into a long post! But I guess I’m just highlighting how good life is AF. I never want to forget this. I’ve attached a meme I saw on a sobriety forum which sums it up!

happy Saturday and let’s all stay AF and wonderful 💪❤️💐IWNDWYT

Great post, @Pippa246

I read your previous posts - what a difference a week makes. And what a difference to your children 💕💕💕

Keep it up, everyone. Sunshine in the South East this weekend. BBQ food tastes better sober 🤩

@NextPhaseOfLife SE here too and it's glorious. Had a great day with the kids and here I am tonight thinking oooh wouldn't it be nice to open the Prosecco. But I have none and I don't want to. If I go to bed sober, in my clean sheets, DH and I may snuggle 😂

@AFmammaG Thanks for the recommendation - finished fucking sober so definitely need a new one. I guess I need to think - it's not about what I'm giving up, but what I'm gaining.

@Thelittlestranger amazing you went out and didn't give in! I don't think I would be brave enough.

@Pippa246 I've taken two rounds of laxatives - hope to god they work as I'm feeling uncomfortable!! And amazing positive turnaround for you this week. I've felt the same shame and embarrassment of being the most/only drunk stupid person around. Well done for sticking to it!

IWDWYTD. Happy weekend everyone.

@NCgoingdry

Have you tried Physilium husks as a supplement to help avoid constipation?

They are basically fibre capsules. I found them when I was doing a low carb diet, and now take them anytime I want to ensure no problems in the poop situation, like holidays or when I'm not able to eat as well as I'd like.

amzn.eu/d/bMQCTPD

Day 3. Feeling very anxious and jittery today. It’s almost overwhelming

Good morning @IncognitoUsername

You're doing so well.

What support are you getting? If you've had a long period of drinking, you can have withdrawal symptoms that can be tough temporarily - have you got some medical help?

@IncognitoUsername is there something you can do to occupy yourself? Walk, work out, cleaning, anything they keeps you busy and a bit distracted from the elephant in the room for a bit? It can actually take a few days for alcohol to leave your system so it is likely you will be feeling stressed out but I promise it does pass. I have been feeling a bit similar post quitting smoking, even with the vaping, and so I just keep doing anything to keep my brain distracted for a bit longer.

The WW was strong last night. I ended up on the AF Prosecco (first time ever) and it wasn’t half bad but I knew full well that had it been alcohol I would have been absolutely at it, I could feel the thirst. The only saving grace was that I knew if I drank I would very certainly have smoked and that was enough to stop me.

Props for doing drinking and smoking together @TimesaChangeling - I gave up smoking 6 years ago after 26 years of it. Huge similarities to not drinking for me. I knew if I had one cigarette, then I wouldn't quit. Now I don't want one at all...

Thanks @Thelittlestranger. I have been 98% dry since August last year with a couple of drinks here or there (which I didn’t want to get too comfortable with, so am recommitting to a longer period of abstinence) so I thought it was time to tackle the smoking. No way would I have done it all at once! I can only dream of not thinking about it all (hmm, sounds familiar doesn’t it 🤣)

Thank you @NextPhaseOfLife I've ordered some on Amazon.
Two rounds of senekot (max strength) and I was able to let go of a few pebbles yesterday but still need some help.

@IncognitoUsername I felt jittery and panicky for the first few days. You'll turn a corner very soon where suddenly the weight lifts and you'll see life in HD.

@TimesaChangeling Well done!!!! I found it a challenge yesterday as we ended up at my parents just to say hi which turned into an impromptu BBQ which meant the beers came out. I didn't give in. Stuck to GALLONS of water so I had something to bring to my face.

Quite easy to say so I'm not drinking "the diet" bla bla. But they've invited us to stay next week so I have to be strong again too.

Heading into PMT week which always makes me a raging bitch so let's see how that goes! Also not sleeping great - but I guess the sleep I AM getting is better quality.

It's weigh-in day tomorrow with my coach but regardless of what the scales say, my fingers aren't swollen sausages and my face isn't shiny and puffy. Purely because I've laid off the drink.

Day 9. IWDWYT.