On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

I’ve got COVID and am feeling very pretty rubbish, upside is that I don’t feel like drinking!

@Gemstonebeach ahh, every cloud.
Hope you're feeling better soon.
My dh has been shopping so no need for me to go out - had a nice bath, back in bed, reading and drinking tea / juice.

Last night I had AF sparkling rose while my mum had real wine and it just felt like I was drinking, I didn't feel like I was missing out. I recommend it - Belle & Co from Amazon. Wish they sold it in pubs as then I wouldn't feel like I was on soft drinks.
I don't like beer so can't have an AF one but I suppose I could try an AF gin and in restaurants have a mocktail or something. In pizza express last week there was a drink called raspberry spritz/fizz that I had and it was really nice, a 'grown up' soft drink rather than just a glass of coke.
I'm going to the theatre on Friday and officially 'allowed' a drink then as it's March but trying to decide whether I want one or try to carry on being AF til Mother's Day, but will see how I feel.
Well done to everyone who has been moderating this weekend, we can do this!!

@Flumpywoo that sounds nice. I remember finding an af rose fizz in home bargains years ago - Bees Knees I think it was. Never saw it again but I enjoyed it.
I've not drank this weekend, day 4 today, though today's not officially over. 🥴

@Flumpywoo I've just looked, they sell that fizz in Sainsbury's. 180 cals for a 750ml bottle, that's brilliant - £3.50.

@Flumpywoo me again ! Oh, I've just looked for bees knees and it's now called Belle and Co 🤣

Oh how funny, at least you know what it is called now. Didn't know they sold it in Sainsbury's, I will look out for it, as it's the same price as Amazon.
Well done on 4 days AF, it's good progress and am sure you can stay AF tonight 😃

Hefty weekend at DSs wedding
Back on it

I'd normally be treating myself to a glass of wine now (just finished a piece of work). Juice it is.

@Tilllly ahh, how lovely. Hope you had a great time. @endlesswashing well done - making a few small changes is definitely the best way. I've drank juice this weekend, too.

Day 5 here. I knew I could do an af weekend and it was really nice - lots of reading, seeing the granddaughters etc.
And I've lost weight.
I need to plan this week now. I am out on Saturday for a meal, but I'm taking my 8 year old granddaughter so I know I'll be sensible.
It's Wednesday that will be my danger area ( I'm having my haircut, I'm paying my holiday, I get paid.....), but I am due in work for 4pm so that will delay it.
One day at a time ❤️💯

I’m on my 8th day AF and I feel bloody good. I can’t deny it! I have a lot more energy which is making me so much more productive. It was so nice to have a weekend that didn’t involve me semi passing out on the sofa by 4pm.

It does bring up the question of peer pressure (and I’m guilty of it too) but it feels so much easier to not drink when I can say ‘Doctors orders’. I don’t get any backlash.

@Tilllly your sons wedding calls for a big weekend of celebrating! I hope you had a fabulous time!

@Gemstonebeach hope you're feeling better.
How is everyone doing ? I must say my mood this Monday is 1000 x better than last Monday when I was not in a good place.
@Swannyb @Atacamadesert @Bigbus @Coppergate10 @Formel @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Hohofortherobbers @Moderato2024 @Mykittensmittens @Needtokickthehabit @Nowstrong @OMGIHaveToChangeMyNameForThis @Touty @afaloren

@Swannyb day 8, well done and yes, doctors orders, who's going to argue with that ?!!
Glad you're feeling so good and productive.

Thanks for the name check @Amdone123 - and apologies for dropping off the thread.

I managed the whole of January dry, although I was sorely tempted on a couple of occasions! Just told myself how bad I would feel if I gave in. The AF beer and spirits definitely helped.

I now have a date for my liver scan, but it's not till mid-April I'm definitely not going to be AF till then!

So far, February has been a busy month, socially, and even though I've kept the drinking to Thurs-Sun (apart from one week where I had a long-planned lunch on a Monday), there have been days when it's been more than I should have had. One of those days was a pub crawl, but in the first 3 pubs I drank AF beer.

What's been interesting - and irritating - is other people's reactions to me drinking AF. It's like I'm not doing things properly - not having a 'proper' drink. Even DH, who knows why I'm trying to cut down, and who is doing the same, questions my choice.

Anyway, will go back and read/catch up with the thread.

Day 13 and I woke up before the alarm this morning feeling quite good.

For some reason I am now gripped by inexplicable anxiety. I've always been prone to it and obviously alcohol temporarily relieves it then makes it far worse. Reducing anxiety is one of the reasons I'm off the sauce in the first place so hopefully this is just temporary.

I am so desperately unhappy with myself. I havent posted because I am ashamed and embarassed and I just dont know where to turn. I cant talk to my friends and the family I have just berate me no matter what I do sober or anything else but I am failing my children, I am failing my health and I am failing myself. I need help but I cant go back to my gp as she already gave me pills and I failed her too. I need to cop on and I know I am a strong person but so much, and I cant explain without outing my other usernames, but so much has been thrown at me recently and I just took to the bottle to numb it all. I know the kids love me but I also know they see that I am drinking and its hit a level where I just dont want to drink again but i dont know how to navigate this.

I tell myself every day I am going to moderate because at this point I cant just stop as it will affect me but then i dont moderate. Every single week i think this is it, now i do it and then even this mornig I came downstairs, got kids to school and realised I had beers in the fridge I clearly was too drunk last night to finish so that was breakfast. Why could I not leave them and have coffee? I have to stop this cycle I deseperately want to and cant. Im so sad today cos I do not want to be an alcoholic but I am. I am. What can i do? Like my house is clean and tidy and kids are ok etc but I just fucking hate myself that I cant seem to stop drinking. I dont want to drink I want to be a sober person I just dont know how.

@Needtokickthehabit I am so sorry to hear how much you are struggling right now. Please don’t be ashamed or embarrassed. Please go see your Doctor again. You have NOT failed her. She is here to help you. Please keep talking to us if it helps too. There is no judgement on this thread. Sending 🩷

Morning all! Well I've found a fizzy that I like. Which is something. Bit pricey, but hey ho. My weekend didn't really go as planned. I had 3 glasses yesterday at lunch time. Perhaps even a bit more. It was a really fun Sunday lunch with my children. I had them taste the AF red wine, which we didn't like. So I'm sticking to the rosé and the fizzy.
I hardly slept Saturday night as I was cat sitting, or should I say they were sitting on me. All night. Hence the bad night. Last night I went to bed really early. Well it started off as a late nap, while waiting for the dishwasher to finish, but I woke up really late and decided to make a night of it. Which I didn't manage. I most probably finally fell asleep around 01:00. Woke up late, which I don't like. Feel fine but really grumpy.
Not hungover in the slightest, thank you AF fizzy. Still had too many for my AF goal.

I'm off travelling again soon. That will be practically AF as most of it will be solo. I'm feeling excited and nervous at the same time. Perhaps also the reason for the sleepless nights, can't only blame the cats. Purr poor things.

Well, feeling less grumpy now so will get on with the day. This thread is cathartic.

Well done @OMGIHaveToChangeMyNameForThis, @Amdone123 and @Swannyb. It's incredible how good we feel when AF and then we go back to it. Well I do. A real dumbass at times. To everyone else sending good vibes. SSS.

@Needtokickthehabit exactly what @Swannyb said. Don't be ashamed and no-one here will judge you. More the opposite. We have been more or less in your shoes and know how difficult it is. You haven't failed anyone. You are trying your best. We are here to help, keep talking to us. It does help. I'm sorry that you are feeling so dreadful. Stay strong. You can do this. Hugs.

@Needtokickthehabit please ring your gp today. She'll know what to do. That's what she's there for.
A better future is waiting for you.

Why am I choosing booze over my life? Why am I doing this? I just cant stop. I do hate myself and I hate that I am this person. I was never this dependant on drink before. I always drank too much but never to this extent.

Well I’ve arrived and it was really hard today to resist temptation, I was so close to breaking I thought maybe it would be ok if I just had a few on holiday, being tired and having to deal with a rude woman at the airport was nearly too much.

but here I am sitting with a zero gin and tonic.

I didn’t think it would be this hard 😣

I can relate hun. I think I’ve hated myself too and I have low self esteem; know that you are not alone in feeling this way xx

@Touty well done!

@Needtokickthehabit you are not being judged. You are doing your best.