On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

@rickyrickygrimes I consider I'm moderating when I'm not getting drunk, smoking or texting shite to people.

I’ve booked myself a little break for five days by the sea, weather looks good, so I will do lots of walking and hopefully sunbathing. But this is the first holiday I will do without drinking. I’ll be on my own too so no one to watch me.

Morning all! Well I looked up what the recommendations are here and they say never more than 2 units a day and not every day, but they don't really say (or I haven't found) the weekly allowance. Sooo... going to try to stick to that. My current drinking rules are ; never drink alone, not every day, never more than 2 glasses of wine. I don't drink spirits anymore. Got that out of my system for good. Need to get rid of the wine. I have found a very nice AF rosé. Will have to test the red and find a good fizzy one.
Yesterday was AF, didn't really sleep well, feeling a bit grim. Have guests (non drinkers) for lunch so day will zoom by, as I have so much to do and entertain.
@Flumpywoo well done! That's amazing. Keep up the good work.
@Touty enjoy your break. @Amdone123 you made me laugh. Fortunately I'm not a drunk texter, but I do long solo speeches. Good thing I do live alone, must be hilarious to listen to, or see... real drama lama. Oh and I do drunk shopping. The cautious spender that I am, disappears and buys shite (at 1 in the morning). Mostly miracle face creams. 🙄
Hope you all have a good Friday. SSS!

@Touty that's a great idea. I've never not drank on holiday either, but in recent years, I've been much better.
If I were you, I'd take / stock up on lots of af drinks. Plan your day, too. I'd read lots, too and write and I'd really focus on how much better I'm looking and feeling. Post here, too and we'll help.
@Nowstrong I like your rules. They would work for me, so thanks.
I slept so well last night. I've put the niggles on a back burner and if the problems are still there in a month, I'll tackle them then. If I ruminate, I will end up drinking.
I'm determined to have an af weekend.
In the words of @Nowstrong SSS ❤️

Morning all, a AF night and a great nights sleep, well except when my crazy cats ( 5 of them) were charging around and being generally naughty.
@Amdone123 had to laugh at smoking and texting shite, that's me. Also have rambling conversations talking shite too.
@Nowstrong drunk shopping wow not tried that long solo speeches lol.
Think this weekend is going to be boozy in the bar rugby etc but with my new mind fullness will enjoy and moderate

@Amdone123 I was a prolific drunk texter in my wild younger days. Now I wake up in the morning and I don’t even know where my phone is.

@Touty your solo break by the beach sounds like bliss!

My AF lunch date with DH went well. He only had two glasses as well which made it easier for me. It’s the evening here and I’m totally sober on the couch and I am very happy about it.

I've made it to Friday 5 days AF! And I am really looking forward to a couple of glasses of wine tonight. I have my eyes on the lovely bottle I left unfinished last weekend - it's probably vinegar by now - I'm amazed I haven't dipped into it.
Hope you all have a good weekend and manage to stick to your plans whatever they maybe.

@MoodyBlues1 once, was so past it couldn't read my credit card number to buy something. Makes me cringe to think about it now. Don't drink much now, thanks to this thread. Would just like to stop completely. It's a dangerous slope to be on (for me).

@Nowstrong Don't be too hard on yourself, you sound like you are in a good place now.
@StitchRipper Well done on 5 days and enjoy your weekend

@Swannyb that's a really good result. Well done.
@StitchRipper 5 days is great. Enjoy your evening !

Happy Friday everyone! What a difference a day makes. I actually was ok for the event I went to yesterday and although there was a free bar, I had one glass of red wine and was home early and feeling fine today.

I’m aiming for less than 20 units a week and no more than 6 in one sitting. It’s the latter that I done hard but I’m starting to remind myself that after a certain point there’s no need for any more! The wine monster still lurks, waiting to wake up after three glasses though!

I have drunk texted, emailed, bought crap I don’t need…loads of nonsense. I hate that feeling of having to look at your phone with dread the next morning. When I look back now from where I am now, I’m alarmed by my past self.

@Bigbus free bar and you have one glass of wine!👏You rock!

@Bigbus exactly as @StitchRipper posted - a free bar and just 1 glass - that's brilliant.

It's funny though you say about being alarmed about your past self, I'm exactly the same and regarding the free bar, years ago I'd have drunk to oblivion because it's free but now I don't think I would.
It's like years ago, I'd never have wasted it / poured it away/ left that third glass in the bottle in a restaurant because I'd paid for it. Now I do so progress may be slow, but it's better than nothing.

@StitchRipper Thank you that’s very kind but unfortunately the previous day I went to a party with free wine and drank so much that I ended up bringing home 9 helium balloons (I did ask, I didn’t steal them) which I then gave to a stranger in the street at midnight because he asked for one for his two-year-old and I couldn’t untangle them so I gave them all to him then I woke up the next morning with a huge headache feeling like sh*te!

@Amdone123 I still really struggle with leaving wine behind and also when things are unlimited. I’m getting better though. I try to play it forward and think do I really want that? Do I want to feel rubbish tomorrow? Sadly Wednesday night I was not successful!

Sorry I've been rubbish. Been reading but not been posting since my embarrassing bottle recycling drop the other week.

Had a bottle of wine tonight and now opened a Prosecco. How can I be so annoyed at myself for opening the Prosecco but still be planning on having another glass? I don't know what's wrong with me. I've got a little relaxation event in the morning and a dissertation to write so I don't know why I thought wine would be a good idea.

DH suggested it. We've been having a lot of problems lately and I've been weighing up what's best. Trying to give him some time tonight and have an 'evening together' but he's spent half the time on his phone and watching crap tv so don't know why I bothered.

Been mulling things over a lot. Trying to work out what to do for the best and it's impossible.

Well done everyone on here, you seem to be doing amazingly well! Those who don't feel like you are, don't worry you have company xx

I’ve been drinking a lot lately and I just don’t know why. Going to get back to posting on here every day for the motivation and support!

@Amdone123 thank you so much, you are an angel, I will do that, I will post daily to let you know, I appreciate the support xx. There is a supermarket by the hotel so I can buy af lager and some af fizz, I have to fly to the mainland and so can’t take any with me.
I plan on doing lots of walking, some good coastal walks there. I am so looking forward to getting off this small island for a break!

Habits are hard to break - even when they are destroying your life.

Last year I used to lay in bed tormented by insomnia and anxiety for hours on end - I'd hate myself, I worried about the craziest of things, I'd wish I could just die to escape the torture - I'd only have those feelings when I woke at 3am, they be gone by 7am every bloody day and then come 6pm I'd greet that glass of wine as a hug from my best buddy, there was no connection between the hyper anxiety and the evening boozing - a total disconnect in my brain. It's the craziest thing, why couldn't I convince myself to just drink less...it's like I had daily amnesia. The insomia and anxiety were getting steadily worse.
Dry Jan gave me a break from the craziness - to convince my sub-conscious that less really is more - it helped to silence the voice that says just another one, my sub-conscious is on board.
I am finally in the moderating room and it feels good, I still have to remind myself why I'm in the moderating room, the impact of leaving is not a roll of the dice, a risk I get X or Y sometime in the future, it's a daily thing with absolute certainty my anxiety will return. My friends were initially a bit put out and labelled me as boring! (change is hard on everyone, even if it is for the good.
I hope I can stay for a while...

@StitchRipper oh god, that is all so true. How easily we forget. Honestly, the pain I've put myself through drinking, yet I still go back to it. But, it's an addiction, different shades for us all, but an effort nonetheless less.
@Touty that's great, you sound really positive and you're half way there to a successful break because most of it is a mental struggle.
@Gemstonebeach keep posting your plan and if you stick to it, great and if you don't, we're here and you can keep trying.
@enoughisenough4 I hope things get better for you. It's hard when nothing seems to be going right, and you can't see a solution. Maybe take a step back, concentrate on something else and a solution will.pop up when you least expect it.

I'm on day 3. Walking home from work I was tempted, mainly because I've still got family problems but I could see, clear as day, that I was running from them - I do this a lot. Wine wouldn't help, quite the opposite.
I watched tennis til midnight with juice, slept really well, too.

Hi everyone, can I join?

I'm on day 2. Feeling a bit down in the dumps but have so much to be grateful for. Making a healthy dinner and then an early night.

@endlesswashing course you can. Hi and welcome. Well done on Day 2. A healthy dinner and early night sounds great - hopefully you'll feel better in the morning.
Are you down because you're not drinking or something else ? If I'm fed up because I'm not drinking, I always remind myself that I'd feel worse if I were drinking !
Hope that makes sense - I'm shattered today 🥴

@Amdone123 thank you for the welcome.

I'm a bit down for a mixture of things, the not drinking probably isn't currently helping but it will do, eventually.

I didn’t anticipate how tough my first sober period would be. I’m in pain and desperate for a drink. BUT this time round I don’t feel suicidal like most months, so that’s a big plus! So I’m not giving in.

@sixthvestibule well done for not giving in. You're showing great strength and willpower. It will get easier - it's already 'easier' for you than last time.
You can do it 💯