On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

Morning all !
It's great that we can all be honest here. If you've been af and don't find yourself swinging from the chandeliers and singing, I'm so happeeee - it's fine. It's definitely a period of adjustment. I always think if I'm having a down day / time, I'd be worse hungover.
Day 3 here and now I've put my personal problems into perspective ( I'm a drama queen with a tendency to overreact), I'm feeling positive.
@Swannyb sorry to hear you might have an ulcer. Don't hate me ( 🤣), but I think the 2 weeks af on doctors orders, could be a good thing. You'll be fine without it ( I know it's not easy, otherwise we wouldn't all be here). I think you can do it and get a lot out of it. I know also it's worrying and waiting 2 weeks isn't easy but one day at a time, and hopefully your news in 2 weeks will be good news.

Ooh, I took myself for a longggg walk yesterday (20k), did some shopping, went into a restaurant, automatically ordered a glass of wine to be told it was unlicensed ! Ordered a sparkling water which was delicious.
Was so glad walking to work I hadn't set my taste buds for wine off.

ONE WEEK. Mornings are definitely better without a hangover. I'm not even beginning to plan the 6am-exercising, slimmer, tidier, all-over-better butterfly emerging from the chrysalis of AF life though. "Not hanging" will do for now.

@Swannyb My stomach hurt so much for 4 days after Christmas I was convinced I had an ulcer, I was ODing on Rennie, even Gaviscon (I hate that stuff) - was also convinced it was bleeding (not going into detail)! Fortunately, I had planned to do DJ and things started to heal up pretty quickly - the Nurse Practitioner had me coming in for all sorts of tests - a bit enthusiastic for my liking. Hope you feel better soon.

I really thought I was going to end up drinking tonight…

Very unsettled by late afternoon/anxious - knew it was completely illogical (several minor incidents - all resolved and fine, tipped me into this state) but couldn’t escape it. Managed to distract myself instead/accept it - today’s AF feels like an achievement! Wish I knew how to not let things bother me like this though…

Well done @Formel !

20K @Amdone123 !!! Wow - impressive! It has been a bloody long time since I walked that far!

Oh, dear - I should really have said anxiety is the top of my list for drinking
1 bottle in, and 6 beers later 🥴

I want to run away - far, far away 🥴

@Amdone123 i also wanted to run away today. Sometimes everything is too much and all the responsibilities for everyone else just makes my head explode!

went to a birthday party tonight. I had a few drinks but less than I would have considering the drinks were free! Lots of drunk people there, older than me. Made me feel a bit sad that I can’t just be like them. But I guess I’ll feel better than them in the morning.

@rickyrickygrimes you are just like me! Give up something you rely on or enjoy (for me cigarettes, alcohol) and immediately plunge yourself into some mad punishing routine of getting up early and being super productive etc. It surely makes the choice in the brain harder! When I did finally give up smoking I actually cut myself a bit of slack as a reward and I didn’t have to do anything else for a while. Just not smoke!

@Atacamadesert that's a good way of looking at it - you can do anything but smoke / drink. I like that.
@Bigbus thanks - I've had a bad week and need better coping strategies, but also to accept I'm human ! Hope you're feeling good today.

@Amdone123 I am feeling like an idiot today! But no use crying over drunk wine I suppose. I have something to go to later today that I’ve been really looking forward to and now I feel like I’ve spoilt it because I’m going to feel a bit crappy all day. At least when I came home I had a large glass of water and not more like like I would have done in the past. Why do I put this poison in my body???

I hope you’re feeling ok today and that things settle down.

Morning all! Had a few drinks last night. Few meaning I didn't count. But between 3 of us 1 bottle of red is dead and the 2nd one will also be dead once I've poured the little left in it down the drain. That is definitively not what was planned. I had one glass and enjoyed it and couldn't stop there. I did give the rest of the (delicious) chocolate cake to my guests for them to finish. At least I got rid of some temptation. I am really mad at myself. Sometimes I can go AF really easily and sometimes the WWs just whisper in my ears and I have a glass, or 2, or 3...
Oh well, I wasn't drunk as not hungover, just so mad at myself. Back to tea and water.
I will have to stop entertaining as now I only drink when not alone. Thing is I love entertaining. Cooking, spoiling my guests. Just can't seem to stay AF when in company at the moment.
I'm going to get a calendar and colour in my AF days, might be encouraging.

@Amdone123 I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad at the moment. Be kind to yourself. Well done @Formel ! @Bigbus I ask myself the same question, regularly.

Weather here is terrible, wind and rain. Will go mad on the housework and at least do something else than mope and feeling guilty. Hope you all have a good day. Strength to us all.

I have to admit I drank last night...first since I stopped. And the same thing happened. I end up not sleeping, worrying about every little thing and everyone. Menopause and alcohol just does not mix well with me.😤😤😤, sooooo, am gonna dust myself off, get back on the horse and worst of all, I have to go to work now
So serves me right.🤭🤭🤭🤗🤗🤗

Was very tempted to drink last night. Felt it building from the morning, not helped by the lovely bottle of wine half full in the kitchen tempting me. Had a couple of AF beers and then a big bar of mini eggs - my reliance on chocolate is building and that worries me, my sugar issues are worse than alcohol...relying on sugar to deal with alcohol cravings is robbing Peter to pay Paul. I need to stop.

I confess I never thought of it that way! I have had periods when I did do this morning routine and I didn’t find it punishing at all - it was calming and a lovely way to start the day. But it didn’t last and I fell back into old habits… maybe you are right though and it chimes with what I have read in various habit books - that small changes are often more sustainable, and can be built on, rather than total, instant life overhauls.

holiday ends today. I haven’t been too bad : 3-4 glasses of wine a night, nothing before 5pm or after 10h30, no spirits.

I’m aiming for at least 3 days AF a week from here on in, to begin with, need to find an app to track this on my phone.

@StitchRipper when I first started cutting back, I'd eat a family sized bar of chocolate most nights. I didn't realise I was craving sugar. I don't even really like chocolate ! I gradually weaned myself of it, but I know what you mean : exchanging one bad habit for another.

I can’t not giggle a little. There must have been something in the air as most people seemed to have drunk last night! 😂 You still have Friday to feel good going into the weekend.

I go between feeling sad about not drinking for a couple of weeks to excited about what this may do for me long term. I am going to indulge in Asian food this weekend to get some strong flavours in to make up for it.

@Swannyb 🤣🤣
I know. All my determination goes out the window so easily - I never cease to amaze myself.
I'm back to not taking my bag to work 🥴
Also, yes, a quiet weekend to look forward to. I'm going nowhere.
Yum to Asian food.

Hello everyone.
I failed too and had a good old drink last night. Had a couple of AF days and was not intending to drink last night but DP invited me to the bar and it went down hill from there. Proves I have no will power. Had a brilliant nights sleep though and feel just fine today.

@MoodyBlues1 that's good you slept well. I didn't and I feel rough but I've had a bacon butty, a diet coke and I've trowelled the make up on.
It's going to be an af weekend I swear.

I think I've only commented on here once, but am always reading everyone's posts. Day 22 of dry Feb and so far found it easy, drinking appletiser or any other fruity sparkling drink on a weekend so it feels like I'm still having a treat.
I'm going to try and get to Mother's Day until my first drink, and take it easy, but we will see how it goes, as long as I get to end of Feb is the main thing.
My cousin is coming over this weekend, which always involves wine, but I am going to be good and have an AF one and hope to stick to it. Will be good to wake up without a hangover!
Don't worry everyone who has had a drink recently, today is a new day and you can get back on the moderating. We all go mad from time to time and get it/something out of our system, then back to being good again.

@Flumpywoo funny I was thinking that this morning. I had 1 bottle of wine and beers ( better than 2 wines), but I do feel I got something out of my system. I'm still trying and I will stay af this weekend.
Well done on Day 22, that's really good.

@Swannyb it must have been a full moon or something last night! There certainly were a few of us overdoing it a bit. I don’t feel too bad now which is dangerous territory- I wake up feeling crap, the I feel better and think ‘well that wasn’t too bad’ and think I can do it all over again!!!

Bigbus I felt absolutely fine which is very dangerous territory indeed.

How do you all define ‘moderate’? On the NHS site it seems to be:

no more than 14 units per week
Spread over 3 or more days
several alcohol free days each week

is that about right?

@rickyrickygrimes I aim for around 14 units. I'm doing 5:2 off mostly. Drink when I go out - trying to limit my daily unit to 5. I'm all shiny and new at this moderating lark - long term I would be happy if I could stick to under 20 units/week but I'm not going there yet.