I called Alcoholics Anonymous

[winewine]

I just called the helpline and spoke to a lovely man.
He said he will get someone to call me to support me and get me to a meeting.
The thought of a drink is turning my stomach. I'm so sick of it.
My life is out of control.

Good for you op. A big step. 146 days sober here. I felt like you feel. First day of the rest of your life, but one day at a time. Sending lots of love x

Really well done, especially as there is so much pressure to drink this time of year. Sending you lots of support.

are you with anyone today op? xx

I'm with my adult sons but I don't really want to be around anyone.
I don't feel hungover I just don't feel right.
My head is cloudy. I'm exhausted.

I don't think I can stop on my own.
I'm pretty sure I will drink tonight.
Do you have to stop drinking so AA will except you.

You made the biggest step already. Good luck from someone 17 years and 10 months sober.

I did this many years ago.
I'm now nearly 16 years sober.
Take it one day at a time and listen to what you hear in the rooms.
It works.
I wish you a long and sober life xxx

Thank you for the words of encouragement.
I'm so scared I can't do it. I'm scared of living life sober.
If I don't stop I'm going to end up dead.

@winewine the only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking so no you don’t need to have stopped.

if you need something today there’s a constant 24 hr meeting here https://www.aahomegroup.org/

you can do this ❤️

@buddhasbelly
Thank you.
I have phoned the Samaritans today.
My anxiety is through the roof.
I drank a bottle and a half last night and fell asleep at 8.30.
Woke up at 3 in the morning and finished the bottle.
I feel so ashamed of myself.

Well done OP, I'm proud of you. I too was terrified a sober life was not worth living. I was terrified I'd try to get sober and fail. I thought I was the one person who was so uniquely broken and useless that sobriety would never work.

But in the nicest way possible, you are not special. Not am I. This is biology. There's really no shame in getting addicted to something highly addictive! And it's so so common. There are millions of us the world over. And people achieve sobriety every day and you will too.

There is SO MUCH waiting for you on the other side xxx

Rooting for you OP. Well done for taking that first step.

A huge well done for taking this first big step. You can do it.

Well done on taking the first step. Alcohol is so addictive and to become sober is really hard. It is not easy. Thinking of a future without Alcohol is scary so try to think one minute, one hour, one day at a time. If you start drinking an hour later than you did yesterday that is an achievement.
It may be one step forward two steps back at times but try not to feel shame, just start again the next day.
well done and good luck xxxx

It’s ok OP, so many of us have been where you are, you go to AA just the way you are, they won’t judge

I remember quailing at the thought of having to trudge through life sober.

The last 24 alcohol-free years of my life have been the best I’ve had. Each one steadily better than the last. I had no idea how good things could be.

Merry Christmas, you’ve given yourself a magnificent present, the first step on the bridge over to this side. Big, fat hug and wishing you a 2024 of each day a little better than the one before. ❤️

Thank you everyone.
I scared to face up to everything.
I literally drown my thoughts.
I'm not scared of not drinking I'm scared of thoughts in my head.

It's normal to be scared. Little by little the path ahead becomes clearer. Your brain has a lot of relearning to do. Try listening to some "quit lit" and learning about the effects of alcohol on the brain. It helps to know why you're feeling rubbish and that it'll pass. Most people start with This Naked Mind.

You can do it. Take this as your moment. 2 and a half years sober here. Third Christmas sober, its life changing in the best possible way

One day at a time, you can do it, one minute at a time if necessary
. Well done OP

Meanwhile get some vitamin B complex. Alcohol drains vitamin B out of your system, setting up a vicious circle where you are depressed and anxious without alcohol and you are depressed and anxious because of alcohol.

Personally I like effervescent berocca as it is very fast acting and you can take at least twice the daily recommended dose without any adverse effects.

Good luck, OP, you can do this.

Im struggling but not drinking.
I think I'm having withdrawal.
I have ruined Christmas with my depressive anxious mood.
My house is a tip.

who are you with Op and do they know what you’re going through ?

I am with my adult sons.
They have SEN.
They are not talking to each other.
They have taken turns to offload to me.

no close friend? sibling? they would understand if you called given what’s going on