I called Alcoholics Anonymous

[winewine]

I just called the helpline and spoke to a lovely man.
He said he will get someone to call me to support me and get me to a meeting.
The thought of a drink is turning my stomach. I'm so sick of it.
My life is out of control.

@winewine but you’ve posted here. You could have run away and hid, but you didn’t. Be kind to yourself.
You’re dealing with stress in the only way you know how. It takes time and practice, and failing and trying again, to learn new things.
Can you make some lists? I’d suggest making a list of the positives you got from the spells you weren’t drinking, and a list of the coping strategies that worked.
And then drink some water, and get some sleep. Tomorrow’s another day

Have you taken the vitamin B? Have you joined AA or another similar group?

Of course you are good enough. We are all valuable in this world.

How are you doing @winewine? You've reduced your drinking massively you should be so pleased with yourself.

You have value and worth as a person, of course you do. It is hard to see that some days.

Today is another day, just take it steady hour by hour.

You didn't fail, you had a blip. Just a setback.
Imagine if you had a bunch of 20 flowers in a vase. One of the flowers dies. You wouldn't throw the other 19 out as well. You'd throw.that one away and carry on enjoying them.
One day at a time.

I'm on day 2 again.

I thought foolishly I could have an occasional drink.

2 bottles of wine and 2 large whiskey I don't even remember drinking, I know I definitely can't.

It's great that you've added another two days to your total . Sometimes it's helpful to realise our boundaries (even though it's stressful too).

I sound like a broken record sometimes but try to get to a meeting if you can

This

You need help

You can't do it on your own

Keep trying the AA helpline every day if they're not calling back.

Go to a meeting. If you are that desperate to stop; you would go on your own no matter what.

You are hiding behind excuses and need to do something different to get a different result.

Well done @winewine . Onwards and upwards. One day at a time.

Ok, so you had a blip, but it gave you insight. That’s learning. You have more awareness now. Drinking moderately isn’t for you, or at least not now. Take that and build on it. Don’t use it as a stick to beat yourself. Use it as a learning experience.

Back to day 2 again.

I've been under so much pressure at work but I suppose that's excuses.
I'm currently reading Allen carr.

I really need to do this.
My life is out of control. I don't want to be this person anymore.

Keep doing it OP, day 2 again is fine. Day 3 tomorrow. You can do this.
Have you found any meetings?

What are you going to do differently?

You need help. I've said it before and you're doing a great job of proving the point I'm afraid.

How many days have you been AF since Jan 1st?

Look at the positives too.

Every time you have drank alcohol what was the trigger?

Keep trying. Get help. Every AF day is a win. Try building on that.

Have you tried the TRY DRY app it’s a good tool.

@winewine I've sent you a PM

Did you try AA? I think once you’re past the point of thinking willpower and sheer grit is going to get you sober (doesn’t work for alcoholics!) it’s time to get some help.

Got to 3 days and started drinking again.
I did join an online meeting this morning. I didn't speak, just listened.
A lot of what was said resonated.
There is an online meeting at 11.00 I will join too.
Hopefully this will help me to join a physical meeting as I feel I do need that support.
Has anyone else used online meetings?