I called Alcoholics Anonymous

[winewine]

I just called the helpline and spoke to a lovely man.
He said he will get someone to call me to support me and get me to a meeting.
The thought of a drink is turning my stomach. I'm so sick of it.
My life is out of control.

You’re doing so well OP. Go to a meeting tonight if you can. We’re all rooting for you x

@Pizzaobsess
There is one not far from me tonight at 20.00.
I will try my best.
I'm scared.
I hope I get the phone call so someone can come with me.

It's awful facing up to the horror of who I am.

@Onewildandpreciouslife
I don't think this will pass.
Its facing the fact I am a vile person.
I drink to stop those feelings.
But I do know now that if I take the risk of a drink I'll keep going until I black out and probably do something bad.

Sorry to keep posting.
It is helping a bit.

But now you can be proud of this big step you've taken xx

AA will be the best thing you ever do. My fifth sober Christmas this year.

Get to a meeting. You don’t have to have stopped drinking, just have to want to. It will help with the horrible thinking eventually, not just the drinking.

You're not a vile person. You're doing a very difficult thing. This will get easier winewine, take things 5 minutes at a time. Christmas is a very pressurised time of year with a lot of demands. You'll be amongst other who understand you this evening at AA and until then there's us.

apologies not needed ! you could well be helping other people with
your honesty, keep posting, the impetus, determination, there is no
adverse judgement here, you will not be the only one who has been
close to the edge

Sweetie it's not who you are. Alcoholism is an illness. It's not a sign of weakness or anything else. It's an illness. Remember that xx

I failed.
My daughter brought red wine.
My ex husband brought Chardonnay
My son brought champagne

Everyone drinking.

I've not had too much but I was waiting for them to go.

Then my sons starting bitching about each other.

No call from AA.

I'll call them after work tomorrow.

Feel so let down. By myself and everyone else.

Just really needed support rather than a couple of drinks will be ok

I'll be back tomorrow for more support
So sorry.
I'll call AA again or just go.

You haven't failed! You are only at the beginning of your journey and don't yet have the tools that you need.

You will do it. Listen to the people who have posted saying that aa helped them. You want to stop and that's the most important thing.

This is great that you’ve taken this step op - well done.
One of the nice things about sobriety is things improve quickly. You will feel better within hours, you will look better within days and life will improve so much.
Keep going back to meetings - you will find help and support from people who have been through/are going through exactly the same things.

The reason we fall, is so we can learn how to pick ourselves up again.

Don't beat yourself up for drinking tonight,that will only make you feel worse and will likely result in you wanting to drink.

A new day starts tomorrow, this is where you can begin the next day and take positive steps , by not having a drink, getting yourself to a meeting and treating yourself to anything you like, sugary sweets, junk food , sugary drinks, what ever you like , just nothing with alcohol in.

Remember that every AA group is different. If you don't feel comfortable with the first one you go to, try another one. It is so worth it to stop drinking

I will look for a group tomorrow
My family are lovely but I don't think they see the problem.
They're like have a drink it's Christmas.
I'm now drinking.
Work at 8am tomorrow 😕

You can do this xx

There is a meeting a bus ride away from me tonight.
I will try and get there after work.
I will call them again.

Good luck, OP.

You CAN do this OP. I was drinking Jack Daniels and coke from the moment I woke up every single day for 20 years! Last January I decided enough was enough. I also have a SEN child but also a functioning alcoholic. I did it on my own with no help so was hard, but come this January 2nd I'll be a year sober.
Please do call AA again you will have more strength with the support. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! x

Thanks for checking in on me.

I'm not doing good I'm afraid.
AA did not get back to me.
I will try and call them back today discreetly whilst at work.

The evening meetings are quite late.
There is one on Saturday morning I'm going to go to.

Unfortunately I did drink again.

You’re still posting, and that’s the main thing.

I’m sorry AA didn’t get back to you. It’s a great organisation that has helped a lot of people, but it’s not the only way to get sober.

Here’s the Get Help Now page from Alcohol Change.

Get Help Now

Scroll down and there are details of support services. It would be worth speaking to your GP - for some people it’s not safe to stop drinking suddenly.

But if you don’t want to drink tonight, start to build your plan now. What will you drink instead? What will you do? What is your idea of the best night sober?

There are lots and lots of AA meetings online, including newcomer meetings. PM me, OP, if you want and I’ll send you details of a lovely one that’s on every day.

Or just search find a meeting on AA and filter it for online options. If you send a message to the meeting secretary to say it’s your first meeting, you’ll be looked after. Or you can just listen.

@Onewildandpreciouslife

I will call the drinkline when I get home.
Thank you.

@SnowRoomAtTheInn

I did try online on Xmas day but it was American.
I will try and work out how to pm you when I'm home from work.
Thank you