Wasted 8 months of sobriety

[mfms]

Hi,

Just looking for a safe place to vent. Having been a binge drinker my whole life I gave up drinking when i lost what little control of it that I thought I had. I was rewarding myself with a vodka for simply getting through a day, I was drinking to black out through the week. I was missing work, it was tragic really.

I gave up completely on February 24th. I was sober until October 15th when at a family function I was extremely stressed, DH suggested a drink to ease my nerves and inevitably I drank to black out. Last night we had a date night, we bought got drunk. He's hurt his hand and lost his phone.

Alls I can describe it as my brain literally says "f**k it" and I just do it, even though I know I'll hate myself, it's dangerous and I don't want to.

I'm so angry at myself. I done amazing whilst I was sober, I thought I'd retrained my brain and now it's all back to square one.

Idk if I should maybe attend a group? I am so frightened that I'll get the feeling of "oh eff it, just do it" because when I do it's so overwhelming.

Any support would be extremely appreciated

And now you know what some danger/ trigger points for you are. You’ve learned a lot here!
Just look at as it is- a blip on your road to successful sobriety.
Good luck ☺️

I agree with everyone else that this was NOT eight months of wasted time.

What did you learn during that achievement? What positive changes occured for your body and mind and spirit and purse and everything else it affected? See? Not wasted!

Pretty much NO-ONE goes through a massive change like this with no setbacks - you are a cliche - doing the same as other cliches walking, and your path - you fell off, you'll get back on, and you'll stagger on, as ungainly as it may or may not be - there is the finish line and over you go.

Also, is this the horror / the aftermath of a skinful?? Even that is a cliche!

Get thee to bed - and let the sun shine on a new day xxx

You haven't wasted that time, it's a blip. Is your partner also a problematic drinker, from what I've learnt you can be at risk from a partner sabotaging your efforts. If you don't actually want to be enabling him and vice versa then talk to him and explain you need time out of alcohol. You need to decide can you cope with alcohol in the house for him, can he be moderate, can you? It sounds like you are feeling clear about what you want. AA is online too.

Try to reframe it as you've had a little bump in the road, but you have 8 months under your belt, and it's going to be so much easier for you to pick yourself up and brush yourself off and get going again. You aren't starting over. You're just starting from where you stopped for a moment and carrying on. You know now what works for you because you've done it so well for 8 months. You just get back to doing that.

But this is actually a gift. It's a little peak into what life would be like if you hadn't stopped drinking. It's shit, isn't it? Now you know you made the right choice and you're doing the best thing for you and you know there's nothing you're missing out on.

Oh OP, please be kinder to yourself. If this had happened to a friend, what would you be saying to them? Would you be berating them or encouraging them?

First of all, realising that you don't have a good relationship is a huge first step. Getting 8 months of sobriety under your belt is phenomenal and not something I have managed yet, so I salute you. Many people struggling with their alcohol intake would be thrilled to have 8 months with one slip, and would absolutely not call it wasted time because you've managed to retrain chemical pathways in your brain. Well done to you. If this slip shows to you how toxic booze is for you, then it could help cement sobriety for you.

We have some super supportive threads on this board, please join us on this one if you want a friendly like-minded group Page 3 | Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1! | Mumsnet

I pondered the other day why this is SO DAMN HARD. But I concluded that it's like learning a new language. You wouldn't expect to be able to speak a new language fluently overnight without learning it, working it, practicing it, and learning through mistakes.

So. I hope today is good for you and be kind to your lovely self x