Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

Hello folks
I'm hanging in there, on about 80ish units this week, so not too bad I dont think.

My next appointment is the 28th, seems so far away. Been looking at the rota at work and I just can't see a way to get through a medical detox without causing a massive problem.

I'm hoping it won't be necessary. When I see the nurse she might hopefully suggest a proper detox is not needed.
After all its not like I'm swigging whisky out of a paper bag at 7am.
I just drink a bit too much in the evenings.
Currently on 1 bottle and 2 small bottles of wine today and I feel OK so far so I guess I will have to wait and see what happens.

Wtf is that GIF?
How embarrassing. I can't figure out how to delete it.
Please accept my apologies

Hi all. No drinks tonight. Wasn’t tempted. Actually decided to drive as well. Phew.

Morning all. I’m afraid I’ve had a bit of a wobble and drank 3 evenings in a row 😭 it started on Thursday after working late and heading to the pub with colleagues and I think that just gave me an excuse to drink Friday and Saturday too. It doesn’t take much to fall back to bad habits.

Sigh. Sleep is shocking, hardly had any last night. Skin feels spotty and dry and I’m back to feeling 10yrs older. Feeling a bit disappointed with myself.

@BoilingHotand50something well done on resisting last night, it’s really encouraging to hear about your success!

@smegley the gif made me laugh amongst my shame whilst reading the updates. Personally I think I’d bite their arm off for the week of detox but also appreciate its not that easy.

@MamaGhina don’t beat yourself up. You’ve done so many alcohol free days. Are you starting a new streak today?

I am afraid I did the same, Weds & Friday night. Now feel awful. I get so sick now after 1 bottle, I really can't stand it much longer. I think I will have to go back to meetings, though how I will squeeze them into an already overloaded life is beyond me. But I need it.
Detox would be very much welcomed here!
Hope we all get through today OK. 🙏

Thank you both. Yes, I’m going to try really hard not to drink at home next week. The thing is, I drank Thursday night out with colleagues so that fitted my theory about only drinking occasionally when out. But then obviously I felt awful on Friday and drank pretty much as soon as I’d got home from work. So it reinforces what I know is true, I can’t just drink out with friends every now and again because it quickly leads back to drinking wine every night at home.

It’s such a silly, frustrating pattern, because I know how the story ends. I don’t know why I do it. I’m more convinced than ever that I need to sign up to some program, like one year no beer or similar. I just can’t abstain long term alone.

After posting, I contacted a friend from my former AA days. I am going to take the leap tonight and go back to meetings after a 5 year (at least) pause! It is a distance away from where I live but I have to make the rome for myself or I know I will be facing the abyss . Can't do that to myself or my family again.
Here goes..........😳

Sorry 'time' not 'rome'

I am sorry some of you are having such a tough time.

I've said it a zillion times but it was my liver scare that brought me up short. Honestly researching that was a very significant deterrent. I spent 4-6 weeks convinced I had cirrhosis. It wasn't a pretty thought.

If you can't do it alone, then please, please get clinical help.

@MamaGhina I hope you aren't feeling too groggy tonight. It's so easy to say 'forget it' when you've had one night off.

@Bluegirl19 I hope your meeting went well. I meet up with an old AA friend the other day. It was lovely to catch up with her and have an honest conversation. I am just not feeling AA right now. I owe them so so much and will be eternally grateful but for right now I don't feel it is the right place for me.

I had a flash back earlier, last week when I needed to get to town for drink I was walking in along (it's a few miles) and I saw a neighbour washing his car. I asked him for a lift. He hardly knows me. But it's a very very small area and he is a family friend of my ILs 😨crap. Oh well. I don't think in the 5ish years I've lived here we have ever had a conversation so now we have!! I haven't told DH. I don't think he needs the stress of it and the neighbour isn't in too much contact with ILs right now I don't think.

Other than that I am feeling good. I'll be a week back off it tomorrow. It was a rough Tues/ Wed but thankfully feel 100% again.

I went to the GP as well she is absolutely fantastic I am really lucky. She didn't admonish me for my behaviour. She said she could completely understand after the MC

I went to a meeting and even though it has been 5 years since I went before, the muscle memory was still there.
It wasn't a damascene moment, but I have an incentive to stay sober and meet my lovely friend to go again next Sunday night.

I think it is the power of human connection and forming habits is what I was struggling with on my own.
I hope everyone has a better week ahead, including me!
🤗

How’s everyone doing? Monday blues here but not bad enough to break my streak thankfully. Day 78.

Good evening everyone, sorry to those who have struggled recently but I'm super impressed at how you've faced it, come up with a plan and are back on it. I think if I had a drink, I'd want to skulk away so seeing you all brave enough to tell us all is really impressive to me.

Day 39 today, going okay, don't think about alcohol too much but can see the day coming where I think I'm 'safe' and try to moderate. I want to get to 100 days so let's see how the next 61 days go! x

Morning all.

I'm still here, still drinking and causing myself problems.

I feel like I desperately need some time off work but I can't have it practically speaking.

I am so depressed its literally taking all my energy to get through the shift. When I'm back i just sit and do nothing. My self care is awful too :(
And yet I spend 70% of my time convincing myself its not that bad and plenty of people drink more than me and getting help is drastic and dramatic, I can just cut back etc etc

My head is such a jumble :(
I just want all this to stop

Morning all. I’m not drinking but I am suffering for my 3 day break last week. I feel low. I’m struggling to manage everything and that negative self talk is back.

@MissSmith80 and @BoilingHotand50something thank you for sharing your progress. Every time I see someone with a decent dry streak it does give me hope that I might make it one day.

@Bluegirl19 well done for going to a meeting, that must have been hard. I am going to look to sign up to something in the new year. I just want to keep my anonymity, so need to choose the right thing.

I hope everyone has a good day. Don’t feel like you can’t come back and update if you are drinking.

@smegley @MamaGhina so sorry to hear you are finding things tough. I swear the gloomy weather and that pre Christmas lull has a lot to answer for.

@smegley - when is your next meeting? What is the plan? Could you do some meditation / hypnotherapy to try and get your head straight? You know deep down you have a problem but you need to sort that 70% out or this is going to be so difficult.

@MamaGhina you need to look at the overall picture. You have been doing great. You have had some understandable blips. I would set yourself a short streak target that you know you can achieve so that you can give yourself a tick on your app or in a journal or whatever works for you.

@MissSmith80 well done on 39 days! You have got this.

Please come back and chat if your longer term goal is to drink less but you are having a wobble at the moment. We are all in the same boat and we understand.

My next appointment is Tuesday with the nurse with a view to getting a detox date.

You're right of course, I have a lot of work to do in my head.

Just got to hang in in there i suppose

I think that’s right Smegley - just need to hang in there and try and stay positive in the meantime as change IS on the horizon!

I've had another appointment come through for a home visit on the 6th.

This has filled me with dread. I hate people coming in my house, even my family.
I'm going to do the sensible thing and call them and ask if it can be done at the centre instead.

Fingers crossed 🤞

I posted a while ago about hypnosis. I have recently given it a go, it's mainly been geared towards weightloss, releasing trauma and increasing confidence. I've found it incredibly powerful and discovered a world of free resources on you tube, which I intend to use regularly.

I've found this for alcohol and the comments from people who have tried it are positive It seems to helped a lot of people.

It might be worth having a go if you can get some uninterputed time to relax into an hypnosis session.

If it helps it help, if it doesn't then you've probably had a relaxing hour!

Yep @Yocal i agree. I bought a Clear Minds Hypnotherapy session and I did find it powerful. I am extremely cynical but I wanted to do something to make a positive move to reduce drinking without having to see a doctor or anything and it was relatively cheap. The images introduced to me in that session have stayed with me and I found it incredibly relaxing. Maybe a placebo effect but I will take it!

Really never bothered with hypnosis before because I thought it was the TV hypnosis! It's nothing like that and is well worth a try. I don't think the TV hypnosis has done anything to help people access the real helpful version.

I didn't think I'd be susceptible to it, but I very much am!

I recommend giving it a go as it can't do any harm, plus the you tube stuff is free. It really is a case of nothing to lose.

Thanks @Yocal and @BoilingHotand50something for those insights. I am struggling at the moment (after a good dry streak but then drinking when out with friends) to get back to the positive feeling I had about targeting a long streak of dry days so it’s really interesting to read your thoughts on hypnosis/hypnotherapy.

@Limeandsoda2023 sorry to hear you are struggling but as @Yocal says, you literally have nothing to lose by giving it a try.