The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Tentatively popping my head round the door...😬

Can I please join you on here?

Hi @MillicentTheMagnificent come on in!

Thank you

It’s still bitterly cold here. Going to make a brew and put the fire on. And have a snuggle with one of the cats who is purring away insanely at the back of my knees. I’ve had a fantastically lazy afternoon.

Are you ok Millicent?

Well done on your 14 days @Beanz2022 , especially getting over the Friday wobble! Hopefully your sober Saturday morning made it all worth it.

It’s worth thinking about posting on here if you have a wobble- we have all been there!

Welcome @MillicentTheMagnificent - come on in.

I am 22 months sober today. It is SUCH a gift - I am sharper, fitter and calmer than I have ever been, which is remarkable really given I’m in my mid 50s. That’s not to say life is always easy, but I can look at the issues so much more clearly. I have had a couple of very anxious spells recently, but I was able to think “oh, that’s interesting, I’m really anxious- I wonder why that is?”.

Happy Saturday, all.

Just reading for support and inspiration and found plenty!
thanks everyone. Hello millicent 🙂
am now about day 15 or so - trying not to count! And am beginning to wonder how I ever managed to do stuff with booze. Thanks one wild

Also for the warning that after day 10 or so the voices start to convince you you can moderate, have it licked. They started up tonight so thank you for the heads up.

Morning lads. (we're mainly female but one of our number used to use the phrase in her witty posts).
Another bad night but I did manage to get back to sleep. That was impossible when I was a drinker. I am going to try meditation when I can find a course. I'll chuck anything at this illness.
I did drive yesterday briefly to take the dog for his clip but the short shuffle around town was tough. I bought two jumpers for my house frau role. I've looked grim. We've been in our house for nine months now and it's such a good buy. One of my great sober decisions.
Have a good Sunday.

Congratulations @Onewildandpreciouslife on your 22 months AF! That’s brilliant. I really appreciate all the insight that you bring with your posts.

I hope you sleep better tonight @WendyWagon . I started with a free trial of headspace just over a year ago and it’s been very helpful. Not so much in terms of stopping the bad stuff but in terms of learning to handle my response to it differently. I think they have a couple of programmes on Netflix too.

we all have covid here. Third time. At least I’m out of bed and on the sofa this time. Can’t taste or smell anything.

Checking back in as DH said he has decided to have one nice whisky on a Sunday night, to mark the end of the weekend.

I reminded him of his no drinking in the house pledge, especially while I am AF.

He is sulking but put the whisky back.

I am also sulking... not sure what he thought had changed, it's only been 6 months for him!

This is going-- to be constant, isn't it? I had hoped we would just settle into a new AF norm.--

Hello lads! (I also enjoy calling everybody lads 😂 - it's quite a common term of endearment for women as much as men in Ireland).

Just checking in.

@justdrink, that sounds tough. My dh is having some wine in the evenings but (luckily?) I've been poorly all weekend and still feeling a bit crap. So I haven't been tempted.

I'm a Geordie so lads and lasses is used very frequently...

Sorry you are feeling ill @MillicentTheMagnificent
but suppose the silver lining is not being tempted.

I have switched to a (diet) tonic water if I feel the need for a little bit of fun in my mouth! I am so rock and roll...

Thanks @justdrink, I'm starting to feel better, but am taking another day off tomorrow 😬. I feel slightly naughty doing it because I never take sick days. I don't think I've ever had one in this school. But I'm definitely ill enough not to be in work. Don't know why I wouldn't take one as it isn't as if I'm the Headteacher. I'm not even a teacher!

Diet tonic sounds nice. I'm on the lime cordial and fizzy water.

Morning all.
Not getting any better. Spending too much time on social media and not showing myself to the air. I am glad I don't drink because I can't walk properly. I'm finding I'm getting offered more booze though, gifts and suchlike. Perhaps people forget or think you're cured?
Roll on warmer weather.

@WendyWagon sorry to hear you are not feeling better. At least you are not drinking, which would only make things worse.

I am away at the moment- very glad to not be drinking when I saw the state of some of the people on the extremely long flight to Oz. Once upon a time that would have been me, ‘making the most’ of the booze on offer and feeling awful on arrival. I do wonder what I was thinking. I am glad that my mindset has changed.

Almost drank today though. It was really really hard. Sitting with old friends in a beautiful restaurant by the sea- champagne and Sancerre and oysters. I really nearly buckled. But I stayed strong. The wine witch was saying “ Just one… just drink while you are here… get back on the wagon when you go home…” The feeling passed but it was strong. I just had to sit with it. The food, the setting and the company was enough and very special. The work and social stuff over this trip revolve around lots of drinking and eating out. So I need to focus hard on staying AF. I know I will see and do so much more because I won’t be hungover or spending all my free time in bars.

Had angusdura bitters and lemonade with mint which was very refreshing.

@WendyWagon I'm sorry you are still unwell. Did you get some fresh air today?

@threeandmeandthedog well done for staying strong. You will get so much more out of your trip because of it. Are there many AF options available in Oz? Tell the wine witch to feck off

I was just about to ask @threeandmeandthedog exactly the same questions about AF options in Aus! I have very fond memories of oysters there. In fact the food in general was fantastic.

So sorry that you’re struggling @WendyWagon I hope you can get out again soon. It’s much warmer here today albeit a bit drizzly. How are you feeling today @MillicentTheMagnificent ?

Just coming out of covid here. Starting to feel much better over the last couple of days, hopefully will be back to normal life at the weekend. I had a horrible craving for a hot toddy early on which didn’t hang around too long thankfully. I had a lemsip instead.

Can’t quite believe that January still has another week to run. I am starting to understand why I was always such a failure at Dry January. It’s just too long/dark/ill. Maybe a shorter month would be a better one to start with.

Fighting a really strong trigger right now, and almost scared to leave the couch incase I come back with a wine.

My mum isn't well. She has dementia and is going through a horrid deterioration this week as she has an infection. My drinking habits changed to cope with her illness, so it's very difficult resisting right now.

What is keeping me going is being so close to 100 days. Plus thinking how much my drinking would be spiralling right now if I hadn't stopped. I can't lose my progress and risk giving myself free reign. But bloody hell it's hard.

I’m so sorry @Kate489 . It really is hard - it was dealing with my mum’s dementia that tipped my drinking over the edge. You know that if you drink you will just feel worse in the morning, but I know how tempting escape is. Can you just get an early night with a book? And focus on how brilliant it will be to get to 100 days. Hang in there.

How are you @Kate489 ? I’m so sorry about your mum deteriorating, it must be so hard. All I can offer is that reaching 100days AF will offer you strength, reassurance and faith that drinking again wouldn’t. 💐

@Kate489 so sorry about your mum. It will be worth keeping going and making it to 100 days, having a drink won’t help even if it feels like it might in the moment.

@Blackberryblossom glad you are feeling better-lemon and freshly grated tumeric and ginger, with a sprinkle of black pepper, chilli flakes (optional) and honey is my
hot toddy replacement- it has a good kick.

@justdrink @Blackberryblossom lots of AF options here in the bars and in the shops- more choices than the Uk. Have even has a passable AF white wine- which was crisp and dry… but still not really a wine substitute. I love Bundeberg Ginger Beer and there are also some lovely cordials.

My cravings have past and I have been up early running and swimming and making the most of my time here- which I would not be doing with a hangover.

Thank you all. So sorry you've had dementia in your life too @Onewildandpreciouslife it really is the worst. Finding it particularly hard this time round as already so battered by it and it is the first time dealing with something related to mum while sober. It has surprised me that has been a factor, so really reinforces need to stick at it and I wasn't overreacting by stopping.

Quite teary today, going to visit soon. Just need to find a healthy outlet that helps.

Somehow, just acknowledging that what I want is to escape, rather than wanting a drink, has been really helpful. I vividly remember my first sober Christmas Day: it was an awful, awful visit to mum, and in the car on the way back my head was screaming for a drink. But telling myself that what I wanted was to escape from the feelings meant I could “breathe through it”, if you see what I mean?

Hope the visit goes ok.

Morning all.
@Kate489 wow you are nearly there, 100 days.
Not so good here this morning. I had a reasonable day then seized up last night. I did a little drive of about ten miles. It took it out of me. I ordered a zimmer frame and I'm going to use it. The elegance.

That's not good WW

I recall you started a new medication recently, it's obviously not working so can you get onto your rheumatology team? This would definitely be classed as a "failed" medication by my rhuemy team.

What do you do for pain relief? I used to take Diclofenic but the past few flares I've managed with good old fashioned Ibuprofen (but I have had to take it maximum dose for a week for the anti inflammatory properties to take effect). Last major flare - 2 years ago now - I also had a steroid injection which helped massively.

But yep no need to suffer, get them to move you on to something else.

Wishing everyone else well. Weekends can be tough so hang in there.