The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Good morning all
I'm enjoying one of those Sunday mornings sobermummy describes! Up and full of energy on a cold morning, even though we have no heating - boiler is in the middle of being replaced. Just SO glad not to be hungover. I am finding there are so many more hours in the day.

@Crunchymum I appreciate you coming back here to say hello on day 650 - it's truly inspirational. Like @Wantofeelgood I joined this thread a couple of years ago - more than once - then fell off (different user name - fresh start this time and new mindset). There's loss in thinking of all the time I have lost in those two years to alcohol, but it's also amazing to imagine that one day i'll be on day 650.

@Wellysock i hear you re moderating. One of my greatest fears is the voice that I know for sure is going to creep in (I can already hear it) saying: just the one, no harm done. It won't be like that. I am here too one day at a time. Well done on not drinking with your husband.

@Blackberryblossom i have loved champagne. everything else, i can take or leave, but champagne, with xmas coming up is going to be TOUGH! i'm going to have to say goodbye to champagne and mourn it and move on. It is so good to hear of you enjoying your success sober.

Thanks @threeandmeandthedog . that is a good reminder about gratitude. It helps change my mindset from gritting my teeth to get through, to appreciating what i have and that i am sober and feeling calm.

Day 10.

Hi all! Sorry I have been AWOL for quite a while.

Work has been crazy busy and lots of issues with the adult DC. Aside from that, life just rolls on.

I didn't drink at all for the first 6 months of the year, and had a total re-set. Since then I have drunk on 7 days - sometimes only one drink. Although this is obviously less than optimal, I am still incredibly proud of myself. I am aiming for no more than ten days of having any alcohol by the end of the year. To put this in perspective, I probably had fewer than ten alcohol free days every year for the previous ten years so I have put my drinking into complete reverse.

At first I gained weight because I substituted the alcohol with cake and biscuits. I got a handle on that and am now two stone lighter than I started the year - 11.5 rather than 13.5 so fairly noticeable.

@WendyWagon I am so sorry you are still having issues with bloody stalker!

Another just checking in!

Yes @Crunchymum ! Well done!

All good here, I am still happily not drinking alcohol or caffeine. DH is drinking alcohol free in the house still, and participating when we are out socializing, but he is really not enjoying the next day... he has slimmed down a lot as well which he is thrilled about.

I even went to a wine tasting event for a friend's birthday two weeks ago (I live in a wine region) and drank only water.... it felt like a shame (as it is super posh and the kind of wine you receive as a gift) but I had zero desire.

My advent calendar is based on different teas this year, and I love it!

I am a little bit nervous about Christmas as we are returning to the UK for the first time in 5 years, have lots of people to see and I won't have the driving excuse that I always use. (I have never ever mixed alcohol and driving). But... I shall just have to stay strong and suggest meeting for walks and cafe stops rather than drinking in bars.

Well folks my latest gig turns out to be a 'funny business'. Waiting for the payoff tomorrow. Jesus I pick them!.

Thanks all, and @WaWantofeelgood I appreciated the vote of confidence, it definitely wasn't preachy. Day 6 today. Almost one week.

I avoided drinking with said boozy relative. Blamed it on DH driving. She was baffled. It felt so good to not have the usual routine of drinking, buying wine on the way home and boozing my way through the rest of the weekend.

Today is a weird one. No hangover, which is a win. But it feels like the day is dragging. There's so much more time without wine. I'm sure that will feel great soon enough, but today it feels strange. It has been a wonderful day though. Plenty of sober quality time with the children. Roast pork in the oven, and yoga later.

I hope you have all had wonderful weekends so far.

I am so sorry @WendyWagon . That sucks. Your industry seems quite prone to this kind of thing. I hope you’re ok.

congratulations @Crunchymum on your 651 days! Rolling up towards two years! And congratulations too @livingalivelife I hope your day 10 went smoothly. The early days are the big achievements. Re the champagne- I love drinking out of a champagne flute. Normally raspberry lemonade, or an AF aperitif cut with tonic water. I’m going to try a sparkling AF tea this Christmas to see what they’re like.

waving to @rothbury @Wellysock and @justdrink 👋👋👋

@Blackberryblossom ah thank you. At least I will get a breakfast in with @Fortheloveofgodwhy

Waves back with fancy tonic water in hand... @Blackberryblossom

@Wellysock I am finding the day dragging too after a great start. Feeling down and longing for a lovely cold glass of Chablis that would take it all away. I know it won't.
Still day 10...

Sorry the day is dragging @livingalivelife and @Wellysock - there are many more hours in the day when you don’t drink, and it takes a bit of getting used to. But you’re doing really well, so hang in there!

livingalife am with you in the day being long, isn’t it wierd!
Actually woke up feeling ok and got ds off without feeling like an ancient yeti staggering up the corridor. Got to be a win.
wellysock well done! You are made of strong stuff.
hello to all x

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife . The day ended and here is another one! We have broken down boiler, no heating or hot water, house full of workmen. At least it shoud be done by end of day. Most important I am feeling the feelings, and while cold and uncomfortable this morning at least I am not hungover!!
I am glad that you had a painfree walk - it sounds liberating and wonderful.
Day 11

well done getting your son off to school and feeling good @Wantofeelgood , The little things are everything right now!

Hello, I'm checking in at the witching hour to hold myself accountable. Have a great evening all!

A quick check in on this cold dark Monday night. I'm considering a

Thanks livingalife and well done in your day 11 ( and dealing with boilers) and to everyone else, i say kudos!
day 7 here! Astounding!

And hats off to the pp that said they drink milk - saved me, and to you living for checking in. Held you accountable and gave me strength.

Checking in for a crappy day 8.

The thought of a sober Christmas is looming over me. I swing from feeling great about it, to thinking I can just drink for one day. I feel so powerless over my emotions and I don't feel strong at all.

When do things get better? Please say it's day 9...

I hope you are all well and doing better than I am! Wantofeelgood, how are you finding day 8?

Hi, can I join? I’m on day 15 today. I’m 38 and barring my 2 pregnancies this is the longest I’ve gone without alcohol since I was about 20. To be honest the only days didn’t drink over the last 10 years or so have been when I was pregnant, or the odd time when I was too ill to drink like with Covid when it didn’t taste right anyway.

I have been cutting down gradually over this year as I’d just kind of had enough, but it took a long time to decide ‘no more’.

DH carried on drinking to start with, but after a week he’s decided to join me, so he’s on day 7. He’s only seeing it as a short term thing though in the run up to Christmas, whereas I don’t think I want to go back to it.

Trying not to get too far ahead of myself though and just doing one day at a time (& doing more driving!)

Oh @Wellysock - so sorry you’re feeling crap. You’re doing so well, but it IS tough. Everyone is different, but people often feel a lot better at about day 10 - allegedly it’s the time it takes for cortisol levels to get back to normal.

But above all Do Not Stress About Christmas. You can decide whether or not you want to drink on the day - don’t let it fill your thoughts now. You’ll be - what? Over 30 days sober by then if you hang on? - and you may be in a different place by then. Just tackle today.

And don’t expect to feel “strong” - you are doing something really challenging, so be really kind to yourself and don’t beat yourself up!

Welcome @OfDragonsDeep and well done on your 15 days!

Thank you

I am also worrying about Christmas. I haven’t told any family apart from DH that I’ve stopped drinking. Probably as I didn’t think I would be able to do it for more than a couple of days. I also have no idea what to drink instead of wine! Been sticking to water/tea/coffee at home and that’s been fine for normal days .

Another person here worrying about Xmas already - not just the day but all the social and family events before and after too. Very boozy families ... @Onewildandpreciouslife that is good advice - one day at a time and we will be in a very different place by then.

Welcome @OfDragonsDeep and congratulations on getting to day 15 -that is an amazing achievement. I'm just behind you and am thrilled to have another early days soberista join the thread.

@Wellysock hang on in there! can you coddle yourself to help get through? Bath, hot choc, face mask, telly in bed - whatever it takes! I am thinking about you. Well done on day 7! @Wantofeelgood

It's my partner's birthday today, and we would normally open a bottle of fizz. I've got my head down in the sober mindset but am super aware that I can be overtaken by an impulse to drink any moment on these occasions. Am reframing as Another First without alcohol.

I am continuing to bear some very difficult emotions which I would have drunk away. It's really hard, but good. Skin and hair are improving. And guts are functioning more smoothly too!

Wishing you all a peaceful and sober evening.
Day 12.

Hi wellysock yup, it’s hard. But we can do this! I just checked in for strength. And saw your post, it’s reassuring that we are all in the same place so to speak. I’ve just eaten my body weight in toast so that I am not drinking thru hunger when cooking.0newikdandprecious thank you for saying it gets better about day 10. We can keep it up for 2 (or less!) days, can’t we wellysock.
re Xmas, yes, I feel the same, it will be a crap Xmas and not sure how to deal. So yes, I guess day by day. Imagine being 30 days sober!!
ofdragonsdeep well done! 15 days is immense. And yes, it’s a long Time to drink, but you are 38 and I’m approaching 60. What was cool in the eighties suddenly is embarrassing in an old old laydeee. So you keep going!

Hello living we cross posted.
pampering sounds good advice.
as for fizz, well anything under blooming expensive is just sour icky ethanol with bubbles that are too large. And those bubbles? Slugs get into the bottles and fart. That’s what you’d be drinking, sour vinegar, industrial chemicals and slug dribble farts.
I am continuing to bear some very difficult emotions which I would have drunk away. It's really hard, but good. Skin and hair are improving. And guts are functioning more smoothly too!
well done you. I heard, though I don’t know how easy it is, that you relax and let the emotions flow through you. Difficult I know because they are scary. It worked, on the odd occasion I could do it, when I was having scary medical treatment. Lie down,, mentally and physically relax, then let them in from wherever is tense. If I do it, it makes my stomach clench in anxiety but if I keep breathing slowly, and just let my stomach clench and vaguely be curious about the feeling, it does noticeably subside. Sometimes. If I’m brave enough to keep it up. Very woo and very wierd, but might be worth a try.
im a big fan of five minute meditations, there’s some on you tube, done a couple of times a day.
ckear skin and guts! Now that is an incentive. Well done on day 12. It is getting easier isn t it!!!

I meant, tell us it’s getting easier!
also good mate diagnosed with cirrhosis this week. Just saying.