The continuing support thread for living alcohol free, every day. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello, and welcome to the alcohol-free support thread. The original thread was started about three years ago by drybird.

We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. Whatever your reasons, whatever you’re going through, someone here will have been there too. People here will have done that first sober holiday, first sober Christmas/birthday/work do/wedding/funeral, first AF night out with the drinking friends, first (and 2nd and 3rd…) AF Friday night/Sunday lunch, first day 31/day 101, first lapse. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size and we have all been there too when things go wrong.

If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quit altogether then maybe have a look at the long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board? Lots of support there too.

Brew yourself a and come on in!

Well done @WendyWagon and Mr Wendy on staying away from the port. I hope all the nastiness stops soon. It must feel never-ending. The dream house sounds interesting - at least you have already decluttered so less to move!

I had some nice news last night - I've been accepted by the art gallery I entered an open call for. I can feel the imposter syndrome building already, but so is the excitement 😀

Hello all and many congrats @Blackberryblossom That is amazing. I am so admiring of anyone who puts their creativity out there! I'm working on it ... have just entered into an annual community art project for the first time, and it feels good if exposing and again a way of connecting in a new way with people. Thanks @threeandmeandthedog agree craft and creative projects are the way to go - oboe, knitting help me no end once I get started - it's getting past the wine hour and picking up the oboe that is the challenge.
Hello@WendyWagon . good luck with the house and well done staying off the port - yes port hangovers are evil!

Day 4 went well, now Day 5 and this is definitely my most challenging day yet. I had a very stressful work interaction, and this has often been my trigger. Even when I am super resolved not to drink. I am determined to get through it this time and honestly I am finding the accountability of posting her and all of your support so helpful. It's the first time I've reached out to others in this way, and it is good not to feel alone.

That is lovely exciting news @Blackberryblossom !

Hang in there @livingalivelife - this feeling will pass!

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife I have work til 7, then will be making dinner and afterwards pursuing hobbies. I know there's going to be one moment where all my willpower threatens to crumble away but I'm going to stay strong.
I hope that you are continuing to recover.

Hi all, I’m an oldie from a few years ago on this thread - coming up to four years sober on December 29th - this thread was a lifesaver in the early days - just placemarking to go and bring someone over who is on Day 2 - hope that is ok!

@wantofeelgood we are over here!

Morning all.
Welcome @wantofeelgood - glad @MyBedIsMySpiritualHome pointed you in our direction.

Hope you made it to day 3 ok. These first few days are really hard - it will start to get easier after day 4/5, and by day 10 you might start feeling an improvement. But just take it a day, or an hour, or a minute at a time.

Hello @wantofeelgood. I'm on day 7, only a few days on from you, and would love you to join the journey.

I had my toughest moment yet late yesterday evening when I finished work late and DP offered me a glass of wine. I wasn't expecting it, and I'm often derailed suddenly like that. I was as ever very glad that I politely declined. I haven't told DP I've given up alcohol. I've tried so many times and I think he's jaded with it, which I can understand.Maybe when I get to a month I'll see if he's noticed!

Noticing clearer skin and eyes, more energy, better sleep, calmer digestive system too, and alot more relating with those around me - makes me sad how much I miss when I've even had a couple of drinks.

At the same time, I can hear the voice that says - look you can stop for a few days and it's fine! one drink won't hurt. One day at a time, and I'm very glad to be nearly at a week AF.

Hello! Gosh thanks for the wonderful welcome!
I’ll read the rest of the thread as time goes on, but I wanted to say thank you mybed for scooping me up and one wild for the heads up.
hello livingalife day 7, well done! That seems such a long time!
Like you DP offered me a glass, and I remembered a lovely poster on my other thread that said Annie grace explains it as ethanol. Did the trick tonight, so thank you.
Noticing clearer skin and eyes, more energy, better sleep, calmer digestive system too, and alot more relating with those around me - makes me sad how much I miss when I've even had a couple of drinks.
this is great to read, thank you.
early bed, I’m so buoyed up to be included!

I hope that you enjoyed waking up feeling rested after early bed @Wantofeelgood - what day is it today? (if you are day counting - I know some prefer just to say it's over and not count days.)
Last night was hard again with DP having a glass or two of wine after supper, and inviting me to join him - but easier than the night before. The main thing for me is to stay supervigilant for the inevitable day when it seems absolutely fine to drink! Tonight we're going to the theatre and meeting before hand. Although we're meeting at the theatre bar, I don't anticipate that being too difficult - I don't like drinking before seeing a play, concert etc. It really is being at home that is the worst for me, and I think that alcohol is quite a dysfunctional part of our relationship.
A big benefit this week has been coping with really tough work dynamics, staying with the feelings and not putting them into booze.
Day 8.

Thanks for asking! It’s my Day 4 today.
i hope yo enjoy the play livingalivelife how lovely to go out! Agree theatre wine is also usually rank, and rushed, and yes, stops you remembering the play!
dinner is my challenge, especially tonight as promised my son his favorite which takes ages to cook and inevitably my ‘ I live a fun sociable life really’ sour glass of ethanol ends up in me drinking lots of cancer inducing cell destroying, headache inducing ethanol. Oh, maybe that’s why it takes ages to cook!
a friend told me he’d read that ethanol is like a crocodile and snaps you up when you are unwary. He has bought a crocodile bracelet it jingles and remind him.
V ERY well done with the work dynamic. Enjoy the play!
Can’t say wine, evokes appealing images, training brain to evoke horrible images!

@Wantofeelgood i have been able to recreate the buzzy feeling of wine while cooking by putting some excellent music on headphones and singing along while I chop.

Each to their own, but it works for me 😁

Well done on Day 4! Friday can be a danger night for some, make a plan. At first I spent a lot of time in the bath with fizzy water! 🤪

Good idea. I think I’ll cook now so it’s done.

I am drinking milk. My grandfather was a dairy farmer and it was my treat as a kid. My late dad loved milk. I always think of him.
Not a lot of Christmas invitations yet. However I am no longer the caberat!
I face matched a 2021 photo to now. I do look five years younger.
Have a good evening all and look forward to a clear headed Saturday.

Hello @Wantofeelgood and welcome!

really enjoying my quiet Friday evening here. Dd got a secondary infection after her cold but seems to be doing better on antibiotics. We have just one 6th form left to look at and life is finally calming down.

@livingalivelife my dh offered to open a bottle of fizz when I told him about my open call success this week. I had to remind him that I stopped drinking 3 years ago. It is much easier saying no thank you and moving on now. I do like that the great things in life (like a Friday evening turning up every week 😀) are no longer complicated or eclipsed by alcohol.

@WendyWagon I think of you every time I pour a glass of milk.

Evening everyone. I love a glass of milk too@WendyWagon .

welcome @Wantofeelgood !

enjoy your quiet evening @Blackberryblossom . My eldest DD has just started 6th form- I remember the endless round of open Evenings last year- I guess it will be university open evenings next year- time has flown , can’t believe I have a nearly 17 year old child!

@MyBedIsMySpiritualHome i love cooking with some good tunes on- really relaxing and takes me to a happy place

i have a good friend staying, we met when we were both living and working in Hong Kong, many years ago. He stopped drinking 20 years ago. We were catching up and there are so many people we know who have been lost to drink/ drugs and, also so many who have stopped and turned thier life around. Feeling greatful for the realization that an alcohol free life feels very calming, safe and possible for me right now.

Thank you for welcoming me! I’ll catch up on your stories.
ive been drinking milk too, yum!
also lived in HK a long long time ago.quite a place!

Morning all.
Hope everyone had a good Friday night and is enjoying the reward of a hangover free Saturday!
I went for a long walk yesterday, without too much pain, and it’s like someone flicked a switch in my mental state. Fascinating.

Hi everyone.

I used to post on this thread a few years ago. I managed AF for 6 months until a wedding put a spanner in the works, and before I knew it I was drinking regularly again. It's almost 3 years to the day that I first wanted to stop drinking, and here I am again.

Today is day 5. Another day 5. The longest stint I have managed recently is two weeks. I really want to stick to AF but I find the social aspect hard. The expectation is that I drink, and drink a lot. I absolutely cannot moderate. I trick myself into believing I can, and manage it a few times. But before too long, old habits have returned, and once I start, I can't stop.

I'm finding it hard to say that I won't drink again. It helped the first time, but it feels scary now. So, i'm taking it one day at a time, and hoping that each day brings enough strength to get to the next one without a drink.

Last night my husband had alcohol, and I didn't. Today, we are seeing a family member who loves a drink, and we usually share a bottle of wine (which then leads to me buying more on the way home, and drinking all weekend. I'm sure you all know how that story plays out). I have said I won't drink today, and I am crossing all fingers and toes that I don't. Small tests, and small steps.

onewild thanks, you’ve just pointed out..it’s a HANGOVER FREE SATURDAY! That’s not happened in years! I’m in shock 😀
Hi wellysock day 5 here too.
if it helps, I’ve tried for YEARS to stop drinking and, I’m shocking myself as I write this because I didn’t realize, it’s amazing how we can lie to ourselves. I have rarely managed a week, I’m ashamed to say.
to go 2 weeks recently is brilliant.if it helps as the psychotherapists say, you’ve done it once, you’ve learnt how, you can do it again.
Not wishing you luck, you don’t need it, because you have totally got today.
and are going to enjoy a hangover free Sunday!

P.s. don’t mean to sound preachy! But hoping to encourage..me as much as you.

Welcome back @Wellysock ! Good luck today. It’s hard to go against people’s expectations, but nothing changes if nothing changes.

Haven't been about much recently but checking in on day 650 (love a round number)

651 days ago I couldn't imagine never drinking again, now I never want to touch the stuff again. It didn't serve me well.

Brilliant crunchy mum. You were in a thread I joined - and fell off ages ago, I think we may have joine about the same time. So well done, 651 days , brilliant.

Well done on 650 @Crunchymum !