On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

I sat here yesterday drinking the last bottle of wine and not one sip did i enjoy. I even left the last glass and poured it down the sink this morning. The witch was contemplating knocking earlier but I just said no I look like a scrote and refusing to change or shower cos today was clean up day so I potentially smell offensive so we have had a lovely day at home and i am now sitting with a glass of ginger ale instead.

@Needtokickthehabit that's great, well done.
I often think I've gone past the enjoying stage. It was fun once I suppose. Til it wasn't.
Thanks for reminding me about ginger ale. Must get some in. ❤️

Hi all it sounds like there was lots of excellent moderation going on over Christmas. For those who did go a bit OTT, come back and start again, no shame or judgement here.

I have to admit that I’ve had alcohol everyday just about but I’ve never been drunk or hungover so I’ll take that. I went to a kids event in the afternoon on 24th and a few of the parents had had a few before they came and it just made me think - that could be me and I’m so glad it’s not. I did have a couple of drinks after though!

I think I’m going to struggle to get back to AF days though but back to Fat Friends tomorrow to assess the damage done by eating everything in the fridge for 3 days so that might slow me down!

Morning! Happy to report I got a full nights sleep (6.5 hours which is a full nights sleep for me) and I have woken feeling amazing. This is the feeling I need to bottle. It has to be all in the mind and I need mind over matter at this point. The drinking was seriously getting/got out of control. I need to channel this mornings positivity into this evenings as the meal I am making tonight would paor lovely with a glass of red but even if I do not touch a sip come the weekend it will be a treat so my goal is to get to teh weekend but I am hoping once I get there my resolve will be stronger and I wont touch it anyway.

@Needtokickthehabit that's great to hear! Feels great, doesn't it.
One day at a time and it will get easier.

Pleased to report I've successfully managed AF day 1. Circumstances did make it easier though - I was on call for driving up until 7.30 pm, and once that had passed it was easy to continue (and I was 90% sure I would be up in the night with DS - and was right).

I started a Christmas Jigsaw yesterday. It is a very good distraction at witching hour. Decided to buy a roll and sorter trays, so I can take it at a more leisurely pace...maybe I'll have one on the go most of the time now rather than doing one every two years in a more intense 3 day block!

I'm going to 'celebrate' each AF day by giving one short reason why having an AF day is a good idea (and why most of my days should be like this) - in no particular order.

AF#1 Sober Piano practice

@Coppergate7 LOVE this idea about an AF daily celebration!!!!!
I’ll join you to hold myself accountable….

I’ve decided I’m going to move forward now pretty much alchol free. It doesn’t serve me and I have to prioritise my mental health!
even just a few unsettles me!

so AF#1- great nights sleep

Yay, sounds good @Coppergate7 and @Mj20 - I met my friend and drank just 1 bottle ( over 4 hours - veryyy good for me ! ). And I ate - a lot - well, a meal, but I wouldn't do that, normally, so a win.
I think dh was surprised when he picked me up. 🤣

AF day 2 done!

Well done @Amdone123 sounds like you moderated really really well! Another win!
And go @Needtokickthehabit
posting my day 2 win….
AF#2- being present for family board game
really like this idea, it’s really encouraging xxx

Bit fed up tonight. More or less finished the bottle of vodka, enjoyed myself listening to 80’s music and dancing.

OH came in from work. I asked him to dance with me. Got a grumpy response that he had been working all day, had done the shopping and cooked the dinner. All of this was exaggerated, he’s not really been working and I didn’t ask hi to cook food he just did it.

I just felt so lonely. He’s jut no fun anymore.

he just made me feel like a burden. I pay my own way so I don’t know what his problem is.

@Mj20 well done on day 2 also. Here is to a day three for us! I woke again after sleeping well so again going to focus on this current positive feeling later. I went and bought more ginger ale yesterday and some bitter lemon and finding a glass of it ice cold out of a prosecco glass is giving me that bit of the feeling of having 'something special' in the evening so hoping to continue with that.

@Touty was he grumpy cos he was just grumpy or cos you were drinking to begin with?

AF#2 Better sleep

Glad to see you're doing this too @Mj20 !

That's amazing moderation over 4 hours @Amdone123 !

Sorry you're OH made you feel that way @Touty - sounds like a real mood killer, especially if he is usually (or at least used to be) the kind of person to join in and have a bit of fun.

Really pleased I've got two days under my belt now. I'm finding it surprisingly motivating to post a AF reason along with my declaration of days 🙂.

Congratulation to you too @Needtokickthehabit on two days!

@Coppergate7 it's a genius idea.
I'm going to say day 1 today as I did drink yesterday, even though I moderated and I really want to be af going forward, not really moderating, so I'll check in later with today's af success.
@Needtokickthehabit you're doing brilliantly, well done. Keep going, stay positive and it will get easier the more you do. We're all rooting for you. Great idea with the af drinks.
@Touty sorry to hear you're fed up. My dh and I are opposites, too. I find other outlets for dancing etc - mainly zumba classes. He's gone back to work today and I'm happy 😊

@Needtokickthehabit yes I think he was grumpy because I had booze

Af#1 - got loads of housework done, watched 2 films, cooked a lovely lamb dinner ( I used to always drink when cooking), but I've weaned myself away from that habit.

@Coppergate7 he doesn’t know how to have fun or no interest in trying

@Amdone123 yep, Im a dancing queen when the vodka comes out 😏

Well the bottle of Smirnoff is empty now as from last night and I won’t be buying anymore.

AF#3 I want the best of my life to be yet to come, not in the past

There is no way that I would've been AF last night it if wasn't for this thread. I definitely had the urge for a drink - I think a large part of that was relief that DS is definitely getting better and doesn't feel so awful anymore, like I could relax and celebrate now.

I was feeling that and then DH offered me a glass of wine half an hour later (at 5.30 pm) - I just said no thanks with no explanation or declaration of anything, he seemed a bit surprised. Guess he had put my lack of drinking purely down to me possibly needing the drive for DS, or at least be fully present. Had waves of desire for it for the next two hours but realised at 7.30 pm that I was probably good now. I was thinking of so many things I could write as my one reason!

I also decided that there will be no declaration of anything. When I've done things most successfully in the past - I've just got on with it and not shared what I am going to do/am doing - to some extent not even with myself. I'm just not drinking today!

Good plan @Touty to not buy any more. My DH is similar - definitely wouldn't have a dance, even if drunk and in a happy mood. There is some challenge on Instagram at the moment regarding dancing and seeing the partner's reaction (whether they join in or not - and of course, they all do on Instagram!).

Great AF#1 @Amdone123 !

@Coppergate7 that's great. Well done on Day 3 and for getting through those difficult hours. And I'm glad your ds is on the mend.
I used to say that a lot....Today I'm not drinking. I read it in a leaflet I got when I went to an AA meeting. Only a few words, but they do work. Thanks for the reminder.

Well day 2. Tonight I went into town with OH for a walk around and to do some shopping, instead of stopping at the bar for my usual vodka tonic and a packet of crisps we went and had an ice cream and a cup of tea; of course OH was pleased about that.

@Coppergate7 I could do with a new start too. After my binge drink the other night I’ve noticed pain in my belly which has frightened me a bit.

Evening all!
seems like everyone is abstaining/moderating and that we aren’t waiting till new year to get going!!!! Well done @Amdone123 @Touty @Coppergate7 @Needtokickthehabit I did have to smile at the grumpy, non dancing partner, although not nice you felt fed up @Touty it just created such a clear image in my mind!

day 4 here…. Had a big cook up with hubby today… using up left overs and freezing things. Spotted my fave rose in the fridge (genuinely forgot it was there over Xmas…..) was very tempted to have a glass but thought I don’t need a glass of wine, I’m having a lovely time without!!!!!!
so….
AF#3- dealing with challenging family dynamics with a clear head (things to do with my dad)
AF#4- embracing good times without alcohol

Am adding the # to my diary each day as a bit of a gratitude practice ! Such a lovely idea @Coppergate7 so ty for inspiring!

what are everyone’s NY plans? And any resolutions around drinking?? Xxx

Merry Christmas everyone! I’m sorry for the late check in. I’ve just had a quick catch up and it sounds like everyone has done really well over the festive season. My rule of ‘no hangovers’ has worked really well for me. It’s made me slow down, drink water, and say no to second bottles.

I did a little day drinking with DH yesterday but I ended up passing out on the sofa and woke up with a huge headache and feeling sick. Fortunately I had time to ‘get it together’ and still had a good nights sleep and I’m okay today, but it’s really made me think hard about alcohol. I can feel more motivation building inside of me to moderate properly.

I think my rules of drinking moving forward will be one shared bottle of wine maximum and no more than twice a week (but in a dream world, only once).

How is everyone else feeling about 2024 and goals/resolutions?

Any big plans for NYE?