On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

I've set myself a challenge - to go to the supermarket at 7.30 pm. That will force me to stay AF until nearer 8.30 pm at least, rather than starting on the wine at 5.30 pm. Also, tick off more of the Christmas shopping list.

I feel heavy, knackered and completely lacking in motivation for Christmas [again]. Last few weeks have been fairly intense and drinking practically every day wasn't the best way to cope...this feels like the biggest step towards pulling myself out of the hole I can make right now! Hope it works...

@Coppergate7 , ahhh, you can only do your best. I've been great til last night - 2 bottles, so much smoking, too.
Tonight I'm no better - I've already had 1 bottle of wine - I'm now on the beer ( only cos I didn't buy wine at the supermarket).

On a positive note, I'm glad I worked really hard this run up to Xmas - not just being af, but sorting myself mentally / physically (lost weight for eg), and saving ( I nearly dropped down dead in tesco - £185 - I bought nothing to freeze, just Xmas food really )

Thanks @Amdone123

You've done brilliantly with the weight loss and all the AF days - enjoy these few days!

I'm reaping what I've sown 😂. I've managed to stick to the plan so far (just shared it with DH and he looked at me like I was mad planning to go to the supermarket at 7.30 pm!). Just wrapped some presents (badly). DH and I just came to the conclusion again that we're not really Christmas people, that may have quite a lot to do with our families...hard to tell though!

@Coppergate7 🤣🤣. After wrapping my granddaughter's presents, I've shoved dh's in gift bags. Tissue paper is reasonably priced and I think, your friend !
We always went abroad for Christmas. Stopped when our grandchild arrived - it was so much easier and cheaper 🤣

Yes, I'm a big fan of the gift bag too! Sadly these items didn't really fit in any I had (and are obligatory gifts, so not really given with love...). I wrapped the presents I really wanted to give weeks ago with ribbon and care 😆- now I don't give much of a shit!

I'm still doing Christmas with all the trimmings for DS (19). It is bad enough being an only child with almost no [functional] wider family. I'm hosting a couple of the dysfunctional ones for Christmas dinner for him too. DH not pleased about that but we'll have to suck it up. When the dog had died we might try going away for Christmas too...

I think it worked...I did drink when I got in but time window was definitely reduced, so I had less. Skipped getting anything sparkling for Christmas day.

Definitely want to be in a completely different place next Christmas.

@Coppergate7 that's good. It's great to have some strategies. I've gone off the radar and today is family Christmas jumper and pool day so I don't hold much hope for today, either.
I agree regarding being in a different place next year - it will, for me, take a lot of hard work. But, I'm willing to try.
God loves a tryer 🤣

Christmas jumper and pool day! Sounds like fun!!!

Yep, let's give it all a damn good try in 2024!

Hi all!!!!
hows everyone getting on????
just caught up on everyone’s news!

sorry I’ve been quiet. That time of year, but still lots going on with my dad….

currently day 35 of moderating….. and since day 25 and 3 glasses of wine, I’ve drank twice! Last Friday 4 cocktails and a glass of wine And mid week this week a bottle of red. As always I Diddnt feel great the next day, but did enjoy myself at the time, but am aware that’s too much for me really in one sitting.

big family day tomorrow, planning A/F!
Christmas Day some fizz over the course of the day but very moderated and then Boxing Day I imagine will be A/f too xxxx

hope everyone’s doing ok and keep in touch over the festive period. @Amdone123 @Determineddoris @Bigbus @Coppergate7 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Hohofortherobbers @Nowstrong @Illegallyblonder @Touty @Swannyb @S0ber

Morning all and thank you @Mj20 for tagging a lagging me.
My days away went extremely well. AF and food wise quite good. Came back with 1kg less. But. As there is always a but...
Yesterday didn't go too well. Had guests for lunch, we shared a bottle of wine between 3 of us. Then had more friends for coffee. No drinks then. Afterwards decided to do some baking. All well. Then, I had a time hole after baking and going out as was invited. I made the bad decision of having a glass of white wine, then a 2nd.
Well, to cut a long story short, I had 2 glasses of wine, then at my hosts' house we shared a half bottle of wine, then shared a bottle of champagne, between 3 of us. I know that the quantities aren't catastrophique, but I did have a few. Walked there and back as we are practically neighbours.
Slept well, surprisingly.
Today will be AF until this evening. I'm hosting a big buffet spread this evening. So of course the vino will be flowing. Tomorrow I'm invited. Well we all are, big family get together. So will be having a couple (3-4) of glasses.
After that, will just have to see. Will try to have as little as possible. Also because when I've had a drink my resistance to fatty food and cakes just disappears... I hoover them in. Which is a disaster for my weight loss/fitness programme.

@Amdone123 a perfect baby, just before Xmas, what else does a grandma need?

To everyone, wishing you all strength to get through Xmas. Sometimes a difficult time that can cause tensions in families. I know that alcohol doesn't mend anything nor does it make anything better, long term. Personally will be drinking but will definitively try to keep the quantities down as much as possible and drinking a lot of water to remain hydrated and to compensate.

Dry January will soon be there.

Have a good day!

Morning @Nowstrong! lovely message! All sounds very balanced to me!
have a lovely Christmas xxx

Morning, folks ! Yes,@Nowstrong it all sounds perfectly balanced to me, too. That's the key really. The last 3 days, I've drank a total of 5 bottles of wine. That's too much but I won't drink today. Possibly not tomorrow as I don't have it in. I buy it as I need it. We have beers in so maybe I'll just have that.
My granddaughters ( I'm loving saying that) will be here anyway so probably a good idea to not drink wine !
Have a lovely Christmas, folks. Thanks for all your support - and here's to a positively healthy af ( mostly) new year ❤️

Good luck for the buffet/party tonight @Nowstrong ! I think you've done well too.

@Mj20 - those are amazing stats! Well done!

Hope you have a wonderful time with your granddaughters @Amdone123 !

Happy Christmas everyone✨

Oh I forgot : Joyeux Noël to everyone except the WWW (Wicked Wine Witches)
With my sober ho ho hos 😘🎅

Evening all.

Im not doing too badly, a few vodkas every night but OK. Yesterday I bought myself a bottle of Smirnoff for Christmas, once that’s gone I’ll have a break from it.

Seasons greetings xx

Merry Christmas, folks !
I was tired / hungover yesterday and dare, I say, a little down. I didn't drink beer, or anything, just tea.
Today I can't even see me drinking because I didn't buy any !
I think I'll just eat - it will make a change, actually!

Ok well xmas is over for me so I need to get this shit sorted out. Today is my day 1 AF. Moderating does not work for me so it has to be tee total.

I can't believe I didn't drink wine yesterday. I think I'd had enough of it. Had a few beers and brandy - had a cold though so not 💯.

Hi everyone.
merry Xmas.
nice catching up on how everyone’s doing, @Amdone123 @Coppergate7 @Nowstrong @Touty @Needtokickthehabit

so Xmas eve I had two glasses of fizz! All good and yesterday hubby and I shared a bottle of champagne then I had a glass (or 2 of Prosecco)! But then once I’d had lunch at 2ish felt a little anxious. So stopped drinking!! I’m not sure why I felt anxious, we had a lovely day but I could just feel it in the background so used it as feedback to stop!
no plans to drink for the next few days tbh! Just going to embrace some down time as lots to sort with my dad in the coming days xxxx

@Mj20 that's great that you listened to your mind / body. I get like that - it dawned on me the other day that it continues to make me miserable yet I still do it.
Sending you strength for the next few days. ❤️

I think I drank wine between 3 pm and 6 pm and then stopped yesterday. Had dinner at 5 pm - that was my swan song Christmas dinner. I was in bed before 8 pm! Exhausted and feeling fairly grim. Next year the plan is to go out for a Christmas celebration meal the week before and then have a much more relaxed Christmas in terms of food. It all feels so forced and obligatory now.

Poor DS has developed quite bad tonsillitis - so out of hours GP via 111 (30 mins away), pharmacists, disrupted sleep for me and almost no sleep for him. He perked up a bit for Christmas dinner but that didn't last long. Any time I had around looking after him/running errands was spent in the kitchen cooking a meal I didn't really want and hosting the in-laws. Drank to cope with my irritation/lack of motivation towards having to cook a full Christmas dinner (amongst other things).

Not sure how I feel about drinking this evening. I would like to say I won't be having any and make a start of the new year plans but will see what happens. I'm expecting to be up with DS in the night again so it would be wise not to drink...right now I have zero interest in it - long may that continue. In some ways I think yesterday was the 'low' I needed to bring about real change.

@Mj20 sounds like you are doing a great job at moderating!

im doing ok myself, I had two vodka tonics yesterday so not bad, I had one before lunch and then went for a siesta as I’m not used to drinking in the day. I then got up and had another, OH doesn’t drink at all and sits there giving me evil eyes when the booze comes out so that does help me from overindulging.

I’ve still got three quarters of the bottle of Smirnoff left I wonder if it will last to new year🤔

Good Luck @Needtokickthehabit with day 1! I've decided to stop arsing around and saying things like 'hope' not to drink. Today is my AF day 1 too!

Hope you're feeling ok @Amdone123 and that cold shifts soon. Off the wine though is at least one positive side effect.

Good spot on knowing when you had enough @Mj20 - hope the next few days are positive for you.

You moderated very well yesterday @Touty - at that rate the bottle will last past the new year!

Hello to all, well glad that is all over and done with. Have still got a few invitations to honour over the next few days, but it will now be more relaxed. Tonight I'm out, but driving so that will be AF. Tomorrow friends coming for dinner, relaxed and we might share bottle between 4 of us. A couple more dinners at mine, then I will hibernate for a couple of days.

I have refused a few invitations to dinner or whatever on the 31st. I think that this year I prefer a nice hot drink and a good book or film on the TV. At the moment I feel like a stuffed duck and I don't think that I'll be feeling any less stuffed until Saturday. I'm really looking forward to a few missed meals or at least something really light.
I'm driving down to Spain next week so will be relaxing at a friend's place, who doesn't drink, so that will be handy for starting Dry as much as possible January.

@Mj20 I went through a period of feeling anxious even though I wasn't drinking, it seemed to wear itself off gradually. I think that the brain/body is so used to this drug, that it takes a while to be completely free from the "poison".

@Amdone123 I'm also feeling a bit fed up of alcohol. It takes up too much of my mind space at the moment. To be honest I'm also feeling a bit wined out, even though I didn't over do it, I did have a few glasses. Not used to drinking so much any more, which is good, but now if I have more than 3 glasses I feel very dehydrated the next day., not hungover, just not right. Tired. My skin has taken the toll too. I feel and look blotchy and bloated. Goes to show the damage I was doing to my body when I was drinking daily.
Hopefully tonight's dinner will be light and won't finish too late. Need my beauty sleep at the moment.
Well, off to make myself another cup of herb tea. Hope you all have a pleasant boxing day afternoon.

We all sound really low key in our attitudes and approach - wonder if we've all had enough !

Great idea @Coppergate7 regarding Christmas obligatory lunch. I absolutely love cooking but was dragging myself through it. I actually felt like I needed a drink but just couldn't be bothered. Hope your ds feels better soon the poor thing.

I'm obviously not hungover today. I've had a lovely bath, did lots of treatments, drank water / fruit teas and feel good.

I'm out tomorrow. Meeting a friend who doesn't drink. Problem is I hate shopping. We'll probably go for a meal. I know I'll find it tiring, so I'm mindful of this as on past occasions, I've drank to perk myself up.