The continuing support thread for living alcohol-free. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. Many thanks to @wendywagon for holding the reins on the last thread, and to drybird for starting the original thread about 3 years ago.
We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. There’s support here whatever your stage on that journey. Whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size, and have all been there too when things get challenging.
Thank you too @rep22 @onewildandpreciouslife for offering to back up host too. I thought there was someone else but I can’t find the post.

@roldog nobody ever wakes up and says 'ooh I wish I had got pissed last night'
I nearly left my husband due to the booze. I thought he was spoiling my fun. Pathetic really for a 56 year old mum (then) of two grown ups. However God help you if anyone had ever said that to me!
Some of you might remember my BFF saying my weight loss surgery wouldn't work if I was still drinking. Hence the journey. Still not had the surgery but 16kgs down. £5k or so saved (but spent on plants, books, laser for drinkers veins!).
I put a new pic on LinkedIn and had lots of blimey, a facelift Sav?

I am in clothes from pre Covid lads and that is a rinking miricle.
I went out in jeggings! I still look like Max Wall but it's getting there.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy c**ts yes. I hope they get bought out by the big boys and she has to play nice for three years. Her 'Chairman' will definitely get the push then.
Tis a great day for vindication. I might be seeing bunnies later.

@WendyWagon - wow incredible weight loss and glow up! I would love that if it happens to me - well done!

Hi @roldog - very new here myself - Day 5 today. Good luck for your early days of sobriety!

I am off to Bingo tonight in my new ‘fill my evenings with anything but booze’ plan. Last time I went I was hungover to the back teeth from the night before and kept missing numbers throughout! Tonight I shall have laser sharp focus (well sort of 😂!) and only a lime and soda to get me through. I worry a little about coming home and that ‘old me’ would pop in to the shop on the way home. So I am telling myself tonight I am not drinking, and that will be that!

Good luck all on the journey!

That's fantastic news @WendyWagon, absolutely brilliant. Especially about the clothes. I've lost nearly 3st at Slimming World (was more than 3st lost but I put some back on... 😣almost back up to speed now), it is starting to be noticeable but for some reason I'm still not fitting into slightly smaller clothes. Ah well, daresay that will come. SW tonight and I fear the scales... At least I can run away a bit faster these days.

If your plans for world domination come about, please can I be spared the first few culls? Happy to be one of your lickspittles... Only, I've got a holiday booked for me and the dog and he'll not be pleased if his plans are thwarted.

The bunnies are waiting for you. 🐰

Good luck at the bingo, @Minutebyminute . I won a pomegranate in a raffle once. My finest hour.

Strength and love to all. xx

@REP22 you are incredibly funny.

My world domination will be in home fragrance and skincare, just gentle no silly claims. I love the company so much I bought it and all that (Remmington I think).

I am bum sitting as we have been de boxing today again. My larder is in, hoorah. DS and girlfriend for tea and we await DDs exam results! Not hoorah.

@WendyWagon , thank you! You're very kind 💝Home fragrance and skincare sounds like a nice world to be in. It's doing something to actually make people's homes and lives a little bit nicer. That counts for a lot. (It WAS Remington - Victor Kyam, I think the bloke on the ads was - I'm quite good in quizzes, hehe 🙄) - If ever you want to diversify, the dog can provide consultancy on fragrances designed to physically empty a room in under 6 seconds.

I actually thought he wasn't as bad as my previous male dog (- didn't dare light a candle some nights; the whole street would've gone up) - and I am mindful of what I feed him. However, the most recent quiz night disabused me of this benign notion. Some of the other teams nearby were almost openly weeping (although this is possibly good for tactical reasons, hehe... good boy... do it once again for mummy, etc... victory will be assured!!) 😷

Best of luck for the exam results. Very nerve-wracking. I used to be the Exams Officer at a school, results days were manic and very trying for the boys, parents and teachers. I will keep everything crossed for you and your DD.

Over five weeks now since my last foolish blip. It DOES get better with time, and all who have said on here (probably most of us at one point) is that the clear-headed and steady morning feeling NEVER gets tired. SO thankful.

With love. xx

Thanks @Blackberryblossom, things are on the up. Work problem resolved better than I could have expected and I am the hero of the hour. This week's therapy session has given me some good pointers on how to manage the friend, so only the royal visit to deal with now.

Day 4.

Well done @Hedjwitch

So 1 month today! Quick celebration of what I've loved so far:

Sleep! Deep restorative sleep.

That being said - having much later nights as I've claimed back hours of my life every evening. 🌟

Not waking up in the middle of the night absolutely panicking.

Much less anxiety - being able to deal with stress loads better in general.

Finally sorting out a few of life's tricky problems instead of burying my head in the sand for weeks as it's easier to block something out than deal with it (making the problem so much worse in the long run).

No liquid bowels 🙈 I was starting to kid myself I had IBS - nope it was just the poison!

Being there for my children - helping the older ones navigate their troubles, and having more energy to play with the little ones.

Knowing if I'm having a disagreement with my husband that it's my true feelings talking and not the wine 😅

Half a stone off without trying - 24,000 calories saved apparently according to my app.

Face and body much less bloated.

£200 odd quid saved!

And they're just some of the changes.

Well done, everyone!

Good morning lads.
Well done @Rachael2023

Welcome to all our newbies.

After my elation yesterday of catching the lying, cheating scumbag ex employers out we had a very difficult afternoon with the university.
I have sort of slept on it but my poor daughter hasn't. The DH and I agree they are being petty. I hope she doesn't throw the towel in.
Luckily I was not in the gutter last night.

I hope for strength to get us through this and a better day.

Congratulations @Rachael2023, and what a fab list! I really relate to the one about disagreements with your husband - I love the fact that whatever I’m feeling, it’s genuine

Sorry to hear about your DD @WendyWagon - hope she finds a way through this

@Rachael2023 - that is an epic list and I nodded along to many of them. I am on day 6 today but my sleep is incredible! I am taking high strength vitamin b complex as well at mo and think that and no booze is really helping my sleep!

I won nought at the bingo last night - closet I got was one away from a line 🤣! Still, made it home without stopping at the shop!

Happy 1 month @Rachael2023 here's to many more.

Glad you are seeing the benefits.

It can take a while and I don't think I even joined this chat until I'd been AF for over a month (I "gave up wine" every Monday and would be lucky if I lasted until the Friday! I wanted to make sure this time it was going to stick and it has).

Hello all. Still here. It'll be 1 week tomorrow as my last drink was last Wednesday night. I'm a bit deflated as my sleep hasn't been great and I actually feel really tired this week. However I have thyroid problems which is why I started drinking on evenings in the first place..it was to keep me awake past 4pm. Then would help me sleep come 9pm. I can look back with kindness and understand why two glasses of wine a few nights a week became the norm. Last night I had custard creams instead so something tells me I won't be noticing a difference in my weight! In the past I have given up for 7 weeks for lent & tried not to eat extra sugar instead and still didn't lose a pound, so feel a bit hard done by. It would be great to see the benefits in weight and sleep but alas they allude me. I am feeling really positive still though.

Evening all.
@carlottacandle I have had an underactive thyroid since 1993 and have been all weights. I found when I gave up wine my palate changed. I have been a cheese fiend all of my life but I rarely eat it now. Our mousetrap lasts a month. I also don't want crackers. Weird. My friends know I don't eat puddings so they buy cheese. One said a few weeks ago 'for God's sake, what do you eat and drink now!). I do take a lot of levothyroxine, 250mg. It gets altered regularly.
I still like crisps though! 😄

Day 5 done. Was a wee bit tempted but over it now. Still not sleeping well but feel less bloated.

@WendyWagon I have been diagnosed since around 4 years ago. My Levo is altered regularly too...I've not made it a full year on the same dose yet. I actually don't take that much if you consider what someone averagely needs for my weight. I have continued gaining despite being medicated. It's depressing! But am focusing on being as a healthy as I can be, rather than as thin as I can be! The two are often not related I find.
Interesting that your palate changed, I wonder if mine will too given more time. I love pretty much everything I shouldn't 😂 my sweet tooth started due to fatigue, but I'd happily pack away lots of cheese too!
I have drunk a lot of coffee and tea today which isn't ideal, but one of those days.

@Hedjwitch I'm not sleeping too well either but know exactly what you mean about being less bloated!

Well done @carlottacandle - I am one day behind you so on Day 6 today

i have navigated an evening with my teenage son being completely vile to me without any alcohol and was able to tell myself I could dive in to a glass of wine, but it won’t help and will in fact probably make things worse!

On we all go to an alcohol free tomorrow!

@Minutebyminute well done, that sounds tough but you've done yourself a favour in deciding against the wine. I am trying to work through some hard situations too and it's hard to face these things head on. X

For those struggling with sleep - it will get better. It takes about 10 days for your cortisol levels to get back to normal after drinking, so a lot of people see things improve after that. But for others it might take longer. I felt exhausted for about the first month. But hang in there- the only way to find out if your sleep is going to improve is to stick with it.

Well done for everyone dealing with difficult situations sober - it takes a lot of strength to do that

Hello all, sorry have been a bit quiet.

I bought myself some alcohol free beers and cider to appear social, and in the end, I haven't really wanted them. I think there is a lesson there, it's so engrained in me that a beer at the end of the day is a relaxing delight, but in essence... it's not.

I shall keep them for social occasions.

I have a good foodie and wine expert friend. He wants to go out for dinner, "you will have to have some wine", which I agreed to, thinking I would work my way out of it later.

I have talked him out of having dinner at his place, to going to a restaurant, where I can be alcohol free, without appearing to be.

Maybe I am over complicating it, and just need to stay firm. I just know I will disappoint him and I don't want to do that.

Hmmmm.

Morning all.
Up not too early.
@Minutebyminute my DS was vile to me when he was a late teen. I just drank more to cover it up. When I stopped drinking he went back to the caring boy he was as a child. He can be super bossy but he was worried l was killing myself (a friend did by having a stroke). Could you son be worried about you?
Gen Z have high rates of alcohol abstinence. It is not fashionable, that's why the alcohol brands have moved on from mummy's drink to funky young people (think a certain vodka brand). My DD is teetotal. She is scathing why people drink poison. Now she's out of her teens I get torn to shreds if and when I've had a blip.

I am off out to lunch lads, driving so all good.

Morning!
@justdrink - yes, you are overthinking, but it’s completely natural and a sign of how messed up society’s thinking is about alcohol. If we were trying to give up any other substance that was harmful to our physical and mental health, we would not worry about “disappointing” our friends.

Very early on in my sober journey I went with a bunch of friends to a very posh restaurant. It’s really striking how much wine is set up as some sort of god in these circumstances. Anyway, my friends were drinking some very expensive wine, and when they ordered another bottle there was a mix up and they got given a different wine. They didn’t notice, and the two wines were being mixed up in their glasses. At some point the waiter realised, and it was treated as a catastrophe! All the waiters were rushing round in a panic “no no you can’t possibly drink that! You’ve mixed the wines!”, but my friends couldn’t have cared less: it was just wine.

Morning shipmates. A busy day here, followed by a busier weekend. Weather looks tat and youngest DD is camping all weekend with scouts. Guess who volunteered to do the 9km mop up hole on Saturday 😬

@justdrink if your friend gives you grief about not drinking aimplay ask them why they are so invested in whether or not you consume alcohol and isn’t that a bit weird? Should shut them up. They will almost definitely go on to explain how they can take it or leave it, how they often go without and really barely ever have more than a glass. Smile nod and say ‘everyone gets to make their own choices and mine is not drink alcohol. Now what are we eating?!’

Mop up HIKE not hole. God only knows what that might entail 🤣