The continuing support thread for living alcohol-free. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. Many thanks to @wendywagon for holding the reins on the last thread, and to drybird for starting the original thread about 3 years ago.
We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. There’s support here whatever your stage on that journey. Whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size, and have all been there too when things get challenging.
Thank you too @rep22 @onewildandpreciouslife for offering to back up host too. I thought there was someone else but I can’t find the post.

Day 4 for me. I have been reading the new posts on here day and night and it has really helped me, thank you.

I have really been struggling with my MH and using alcohol as a way to dull things that I really need to deal with. It has become dangerous for me and I turn into someone I’m not. So at the moment I am thinking I won’t drink until I have sorted my issues out and completed my therapy, but reading this thread it may become a permanent change.

Struggling to to think about the weekend because drinking has always been the thing me and my DH do at weekends and I know he will be drinking. But I am determined not to drink. Well done everyone it is such a hard decision to make when it’s such a big part of your life.

Yes! That's perfect, thank you.

@Littled19 good for you. Perhaps get yourself some nice drinks that aren't alcoholic in so you can still partake in pouring yourself a nice drink.

A few of us have managed to break that routine but it has taken some willpower, esp if your partner isn't on board.

Good luck!

Thyroidians who are on treatment but still have symptoms, get thee to the ThyroidUK forum at www.healthunlocked.com, armed with your latest blood test results together with the reference ranges. They saved my life and can save yours.

A significant number of thyroid patients are simply under medicated. Another group need something other than bog standard Levothyroxine to be well. Most GPS seem to know very little, which is worrying considering thyroid disease affects something like one in 20 of us.

@Pleasemrstweedie I was an active member of that forum, but chose to come off some time ago. You are right they are total experts and help so so many. However, the advice I was given actually proved detrimental. That's absolutely no one's fault, but just reminded me it's not a one size fits all. I am not under medicated as I feel dreadful on a higher dose. I could probably do with dual Levo / T3 therapy but that ain't gonna happen on the NHS, so I just try to make the best of things. Absolutely second what you've said though, because those that haven't been members on the forum could hugely benefit from their expertise. So I would second this recommendation 😊

@justdrink thank you. Yes I will stock up and I will focus on some lovely family time with my beautiful daughters. Thank you

@Pleasemrstweedie and @carlottacandle Huzzah for other enlightened folks, I am a T3 taker, i do have an NHS script since 2008 but have to fight for it regularly. I do also source some off tinternet as well. it has revolutionised my life and 'they' would have to kill me to stop me taking it.. although the effect of stopping it would be the same outcome. Obv not for this thread but just wanted to share that...

Thanks @WendyWagon - that is a very kind way of looking at my son’s behaviour - unfortunately what happened was he didn’t make himself anything to eat during the day (he is 16 and capable with a full cupboard of food) and then launched himself at me when I arrived home from work at 4pm expecting me to feed him! He got short shrift from me and I think he had realised he may have pushed me too far! I would be more understanding if he was worried about me - but he was just hangry 🤣!

well done on day 4 @Littled19. It is good that you recognise the weekend will be tricky as forewarned is forearmed - posh non alcoholic drinks as suggested by @justdrink in a nice glass sounds a good idea!

I am day 7 today - day off from work tomorrow. Last Friday I was hung over to the gills and not one speck of housework was done. Tomorrow, my house will sparkle!

Good luck all - to infinity, sobriety and beyond…

Thank you @Minutebyminute and huge congratulations on day 7. Also happy housework. Whack some tunes on full blast and I’m sure it’ll go in a flash!

Day 6. Nearly a week.

Just checking in, hello @Littled19 @Minutebyminute congrats to everyone reaching a milestone today.
It’s my birthday this weekend, and I am really looking forward to seeing family and not unwrapping multiple bottles of gin. Plus, because it’s my birthday I can shamelessly buy as many lovely AF drinks as I want, then drink them out of lovely glasses with dd.

@Blackberryblossom hope you have an amazing AF birthday weekend.

I was so tempted to call at the shop tonight, but so proud that I resisted the temptation.

This is such an amazing community 😀

Morning all.
Confession time, I had a blip.
Daughter's university are being arses. Long story but they are marking her down on public speaking (she has SM). Tbh they are being shits. I have been trying to sort it out. I feel like hell. If I start crying so will she (I am crying as I write this). I can't share in real life as she had a hard time at school. Everyone expects her to fail. I am heartbroken for her and me. For the first time in years I want my mum.

Morning all

Sounds like discrimination to me @WendyWagon. In my experience universities are very good at advertising their inclusivity and very poor at actually being inclusive. Blips are part of the journey. Dismiss and move on.

Pouring with rain here. Out for coffee in a bit. Local theatre tonight. Very old friend has written a play, so I can't get out of this one. Bus pass expedition tomorrow as DH has decided we don't spend enough time together.

Have a safe and sober weekend everyone

Oh @WendyWagon hugs. You can cry here. I'm so sorry for you and your daughter. Public speaking is hard at the best of times. Take whatever time you need to be sad for your girl and your mum, and for you too. Re the booze, it's a blip. Do you have scones and tea in the house? X

Thank you @Littled19 ! And congratulations on not stopping at the shop, that's a big deal. There are so many invitations to drink in society, not just from family and friends but also from so many shops! I still prefer supermarkets that put their AF stuff at the end of an aisle rather than burying it on two shelves right in the middle of the poison aisle (I'm looking at you Sainsburys).
It's pouring down here too @Pleasemrstweedie . I am nodding in recognition at your bus pass expedition in order to spend more time together. I don't mind buses in the rain though.

Hey just wondered how people are doing on this now? It's summer and the inclination to sit with a glass in the sunshine is never stronger. But I'm now drinking too much too easily so time to stop. Need to stop craving a drink, craving the 'switch off' destress which only becomes self hatred and more stress when it builds up to a full bottle of wine being a starter. Times are stressful but drinking is not helping.

I've never discussed alcohol with HC professionals before but I do have an appointment with mental health nurse on Monday - wondering if I should. I have anti depressants ( for years) and recently sleeping pills due to extreme stress/anxiety but not using these any more.

I guess alcohol is a way of not having to feel.

@WendyWagon what a dreadful situation - I am not surprised you are upset on your daughter’s behalf plus it is so hard to appear strong for others when it is the last thing you feel!

@Blackberryblossom happiest AF birthday weekend to you - enjoy your posh drinks!

@Littled19 i hear you on the temptation of shops - well done on distracting and resisting!

My house is clean, 3rd load of washing on and I am going great guns and without a hangover!

I went to M&S earlier for a browse and thought how nice some of the clothes were. I dress like a bag lady and am very ashamed of my body as have put on a lot of weight in the last few years - mostly booze related! I always put off buying clothes but I picked up two pairs of trousers and two pretty tops in my current size because why not - if i put off buying clothes until I am the right size I will never buy clothes again!

Just a small reminder to me on Day 8 that I am worth it and can show myself some compassion!

Good luck to all today - I know Friday’s can be tough to be AF but we can do it!

Oh @WendyWagon I'm so sorry its fucking heart breaking and it's unjust. Hugs to you

For myself I am still here and still AF. I'm miserable though as the dp is being unkind. He has a hard time I know but I am the only one who is there for him since his brain injury - his family are awful. It's sometimes too much for me. He gets frustrated and blames me for not doing what he's asked - but his words are a jumble. I mean you get the gist - and that's part of my problem. People think he's kind of ok when they have a little chat with him but I have to actually do the detail of life and it's hard and leads to misunderstandings.

I have been sailing close to the wind with alcohol but not succumbing. I just want to forget about it all.

Thank you lads.
I fought like a tiger this week and we have got the marks at a pass!
They won't like me in a few years at graduation (I shall be the old bag in the corner with my pitchfork).
Sigh of relief.

@Minutebyminute good on you for buying some clothes. I have a huge amount (37 pairs of black trousers). I love clothes. I have all sizes. I recommend the silk and wool tailored trousers from Autograph. I have been wearing them for ten years (not the same pair obvs). They say dry clean., I wash mine in woolite. About £60? I'm a big girl but have fab clothes, my mother used to make me wear my sister' s cast offs (she's a year older with the dress sense of Nora Batty we're NC). I went to work at 13 and bought or made my own from therein).

Thank God for commonsense before I went on a blinder.

Hi everyone. Sorry I've been very inactive. Life has been really full on and I've barely had time to scratch my bum let alone post on here!

Yesterday was my 250th dry day. It was also my first sober birthday for 10 years (last one when I was pregnant with DS2). Not drinking is just becoming how it is. I don't need to think or fret about how I'm going to get through whatever I'm facing without drinking. DH is drinking far too much, funny how it's so noticeable now that I'm not joining him.

DS2 has finally got a place in a special school and started at the end of last month. It's already made such a difference and has been a huge weight off my mind.

My job is stupidly busy and I'm trying to juggle far too much, but I know I'm coping far better than if I was trying to ease the pressure with alcohol.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered how lovely to hear your news. Peace and love 😍 no

@WendyWagon - that is a good tip about the trousers. I thought there was some lovely stuff in m&s today - could have bought loads!

@MyGhastIsFlabbered - 250 days - incredible!

7 days. Whole week done. Very pleased.

Hi all. Well done @Hedjwitch on 1 week. And I wholeheartedly agree about M&S @Minutebyminute I went in on Thursday and they've got some gorgeous things in. I thought their long skirts in particular were great. Wish they'd had a few more dresses with sleeves though as I hate my arms!
Coming to the end of Day 9 here. I got a Taylor code this evening to try for tickets next week, so that has perked me up. Difficult day though. Lots of anxiety and worrying today and a bad mood now. I don't really know why. Spent the whole day busy with housework so at least I was productive I guess