The continuing support thread for living alcohol-free. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. Many thanks to @wendywagon for holding the reins on the last thread, and to drybird for starting the original thread about 3 years ago.
We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. There’s support here whatever your stage on that journey. Whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size, and have all been there too when things get challenging.
Thank you too @rep22 @onewildandpreciouslife for offering to back up host too. I thought there was someone else but I can’t find the post.

Hi all. Well done for not drinking today @changeiscomingg8 but I’m not sure that this thread is the place for you at the moment - we ask that posters are aiming for an alcohol free life. If you are moderating at the moment then there are other threads where you will get some more support. I hope you understand that we try to keep this as a safe space for people for whom wine on holiday is not an option

@Onewildandpreciouslife apologies I didn't realise. I'll come back in a few weeks after my holiday when I can put 100% into it.

Morning all.
Up early as I thought the DH had slept in, he's on annual leave! I shall have my big girl pants on with him this week. Bossy Boris.
Poor DD thinks she has failed an exam and she will be sent down. She doesn't know yet and is breaking her heart. And her mother's. She doesn't drink or smoke so I have been getting the chocolate in plus ice lollies. We both have high stress levels at present.
Two teas down and plenty in the fridge so no shopping needed other than the Gordon's AF.
Summer does seem to bring out the boozers around us. Our new home is in a hamlet outside the main village. It's quiet by day but give them some sun and they are out in force. Party central. However I still prefer it to the fake friendships of our old town. I find it bizzare that people expect an invitation to 'see' our new house (gossip fodder). I'm not the National Trust! Some of these jokers I haven't seen for a year. People hey.

Thanks for the support ladies.
I felt I deserved the gin having spent 7 hours in hospital with my mum who is quite poorly.
Of course as soon as I woke up Saturday morning I realise that a -I felt like shit. B - my mum was still quite poorly so what the actual fuck was the point in drinking? c - I had to get through another day at the hospital feeling like death. D - I had to try and catch up on work with a hangover and a poorly mum.
So yeah.
I am worried about the month. I have 2 socials with family who drink like fish. But I am determined. For me it was never going to be easy and I'm a rip the plaster off quick person.
Here's to a good week everyone!

I missed the call to the new thread! Thought it was a bit quiet over there!

I'm still going sober after my birthday blip. I am having urges at odd times. In a pub I'm perfectly happy not to drink! But sometimes at home I really fancy a bottle of wine. Luckily I'm stubborn!

Just some calls @AlloftheTime
@Rachael2023 @SparklingLime @theotherhotstepper

Thank you Sav!
keep at it everyone just one day at a time.

@WendyWagon such a tense time waiting for results. Well done on the chocolate solution x

Heeellooo! How we all doing? Found the new thread 🤩 thought I'd pop in and say hi. Still going strong on the af life, bizarrely doesn't seem to enter my head much these days. Everyone I know knows I'm not drinking anymore and that's how it's been left. Lost a few friends along the way, not a surprise as I get that some find this journey boring - they don't get that I cant moderate!6 months on in the new house and still I'm building flat pack and even built a stud wall this weekend with the help of you tube.. 🤣 I see we have some newbies and see some of the old faithfuls knocking about, love and hugs to you all. xx

@rockingbird i am in awe of your DIY skills, how do you do it?
I am gardening and putting up pictures but I have never used power tools.
I did get a bit upset in Wicks this morning when the kitchen designer mentioned my brother. I actually didn't realise how much I looked like him. Not sure I want a flat pack kitchen. I have been stalking the posh secondhand ones. I do like a reused treasure.
I am flogging rugs at the moment and the BFF quip 'ah Sav you have become a Rug Dealer' (funny because the tenant before we bought the house was growing the wacky!).
@Fortheloveofgodwhy my courgettes have babies!
I have a new squash for tonight. Oh the excitement.

@WendyWagon, I'm still not stepping, but under another username.

222 days and counting

@Pleasemrstweedie ah.I have a few after stalker gate.
One for schools, one for feminist stuff, one for relationships. I forget who I am sometimes!!

Hey all
Friday and Saturday were fine. Last night had a massive bust up with dd18 for some stupid reason I opened the wine. Drank the whole bottle🤦‍♀️
Felt more ashamed than hungover this morning but I've dusted myself off and carrying on

Thanks for the name check @WendyWagon

All going strong here. Hit my 3 weeks at the weekend. 🌟

It's been a strange few days! I've had to do a lot of inconvenient stuff (!) as I'm finally catching up on some tedious but important life admin bits that I've buried my head in the sand about all year.

I had to travel a 5hr round trip to get a passport last Friday as I need to visit a relative abroad very soon and I'd been putting off sorting it for months. I'm always so busy because of the kids, work and study - and I do generally do a pretty decent job of it all - but the bottle of wine meant I could switch off from organising the world by early evening. Except it meant some complicated or tedious things were getting left until the last minute or not getting done at all. And of course as great as it was forgetting my troubles at 6pm, they'd come back tenfold by 3am.

As inconvenient as it all is I'm loving ploughing through and catching up on these tasks that seemed like such a big deal before. I love all the hours I suddenly have free in the evening.

I'm not being at all harsh on myself about not being on top form lately as I haven't been in a great place all year really. I feel so much better sober. Life is a bit hard at the minute but everything somehow feels.. manageable. I wonder how I ever used to navigate such a busy life pissed.

@NeedToChangeRightNow i am sorry you were upset. My DD is having a hard time and was taking it out on me! She is 19. Last time I had a blip I topped the bottle up with water because I was so guilty! However I confessed to FortheLove and came back to my AF journey. Some people never feel the need to self medicate. That is my aim and 99% of the time I achieve that. Put it behind you. X

Our dc have the ability to blind side is like nothing else. My dd is quite extreme and has caused a lot of damage. I do feel slightly detached from her - presumably that's self preservation. My ds can bring me to my knees in seconds.

Morning all.

Morning all.

Fresh strawberries from the garden for breakfast and off to my therapy session in a bit.

Have a safe and sober day everyone!

Hello all! I have fully caught up. I felt the beer bitch come at me last night. My DH is also struggling with my not drinking (esp as the warmer night have arrived, he wants to sit in the garden and listen to music/drink, every night!), plus I am recovering from major surgery (which means people have been bringing me my favourite beers as get well soon gifts).

Just as when I stopped smoking, I haven't made a big deal out of going AF, and so people don't know. I just smile and accept their kind gift. DH will drink it eventually.

Anyway, I fought off the BB, and nibbled on crisps and chocolate. Not the best, but it helped distract me. Not sure what triggered it...

I did look around and realize how much of my living room is dedicated to alcohol. I have a dresser, full of different glasses and liqueur bottles. (I often receive them as gifts, some are years old!).

Then we have the wine rack and beer shelves. Which are well stocked, as again I receive a lot of bottles as gifts.

Hmmmmm. Not good. We could use the space for other things. But I think DH would go spare if I have them all away. But it was interesting to realize how much physical space alcohol takes.

Hello all. Not sure where this week is going, it's flying by.

Thinking of everyone facing challenges with mothers and daughters, hope you are all OK.

I'm going to nip into town to do some admin before the rest of the day evaporates.

I also have a DD who presses my buttons sometimes.

We are due to go on a Big Day Out together on Friday. I am half looking forward to it, and half worried about how she might ruin it by being awkward/inflexible.

I need to just go with the flow.

Morning all.
Well done for resisting the beer bitch @justdrink . When we put some distance between ourselves and alcohol it can be a bit of an eye opener how much it shaped our identity (and the living room in your case!). I was known for my Chardonnay consumption and I think 15 months in, some friends still aren’t sure what to think about the new me, but I’m ok with that.

Good luck for Friday @rothbury - going with the flow sounds a good plan

Morning all, @WendyWagon if you can reuse a kitchen and spruce it up it's far more rewarding than buying new. I found an old fireplace on marketplace place and lovingly bought it back to life. Takes a little time but very rewarding once it's done. Cost me my time and nothing else - what not to love. The AF journey is quite empowering at times, I'd never have found the time to do half the diy I've done recently had I been drinking each night and falling out of bed the next day with a fuzzy head. We all owe it to ourselves to be a better version of the one we know is not giving us the energy to much with our lives. I'm not quite sure how I managed to function this time last year.. quite baffling how I got through each day. Looking like a brighter day today here weather wise.. dare I put the washing out 🫣 have a great day all xx

Agreed @rockingbird ! The productivity and energy levels I have these days, compared to being a bit of a shambles and surviving day to day is something else!

I have 12 kid free days starting from 2pm this afternoon. Have lined up all kinds of things that I haven't had the energy to deal with previously. (Inc tackling the alcohol pile). Quite looking forward to seeing what I can come up with.

I just need to be mindful that I don't swap alcohol with caffeine, or more specifically, Coke Zero. Hence my never ending quest to find treat drinks for the end of an evening (I don't have a sweet tooth and so tire easily of fruit juices)

Hi all. I decided I'd stop drinking 9 days ago due to health reasons, then ruined it last night. Today my right flank is sore (I have fatty liver, hence the need to stop) and I feel so angry with myself. Joining this thread for some desperately needed inspiration.

Welcome @Scoobydoobydoo1234 . Try not to be angry with yourself- can you identify why you decided to drink last night? It’s a good idea (if you aren’t already doing so) to read some quit lit - Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray, Alcohol Explained by William Porter and Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley are all good places to start