The continuing support thread for living alcohol-free. Everyone welcome.

[Blackberryblossom]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. Many thanks to @wendywagon for holding the reins on the last thread, and to drybird for starting the original thread about 3 years ago.
We’re a broad community who have all chosen to live alcohol free for good. There’s support here whatever your stage on that journey. Whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love all the successes of whatever shape and size, and have all been there too when things get challenging.
Thank you too @rep22 @onewildandpreciouslife for offering to back up host too. I thought there was someone else but I can’t find the post.

Hope you're okay @WendyWagon ♥️

@Crunchymum amazing achievement! Well done you 👍
@rothbury well done! Hope you are feeling good 👍

every day counts, keep going all

@WendyWagon hope you are okay? Vent away if it helps

What a fantastic post, @Drybird2020! I was here for a while near the beginning, had a lapse and back again. You did a great thing starting these threads 💜💜

Just place marking on the new thread. So good to see ElsaCrag here too😊 Congrats all on the milestones and I relate to every word of Drybird’s post❤️❤️❤️

So whats the sober plans for the weekend? We have a garden (self) landscaping day tomorrow and then a school event Sunday... hope the weather cheers up a bit before that..

@WendyWagon I expect an update on the M&S AF tins..

Hi all just me checking in for my first Friday night.
I picked dd up from school and we went food shopping, I walked straight past the wine that was calling my name. Im now home drinking a cup of tea feeling proud of myself.
Im tired today and up for work at 5.30 in the morning, won't be doing it feeling groggy with a hangover though, day 3 nearly done 😃

That's the stuff @NeedToChangeRightNow. It's quite an achievement, being able to walk past THOSE shelves and resist their siren-song. I can remember on one occasion being extremely irritated with my mother doddering over choosing a yoghurt flavour (an eternal torment), because the shelves were next to the special-offer spirits. It was a form of torture. I think I left her to it in the end. Possibly she is still there - hoist betwixt the eternal dilemma of blueberry vs peach melba. 😠

I've had the work-week from hades, an endless carnival o'shite waving at me as I try to deal with it all. But refreshingly still AF and all the better for it. Could never have been able to deal with it if in the fug of post-drinking. I was rewarded with the dog having a case of the severe skitters on the nice carpet during a high-level Teams meeting this afternoon, just before I had to step away to the dentist for tooth-root removal. Will these pleasures never end?! 💃

Off to cricket tomorrow with the dog. An away game, so he can squat on the boundary with impunity, hehe.

Welcome to the new members and a hearty wave to all.

Have a good weekend. Keep going. Strength and love. xx

Welcome @Rachael2023 and @teaandtoastwithmarmite .

@Drybird2020 - thank you. You've helped make such a difference to do many lives here. Congratulations on all the changes that you've made to yours!

@MerylSqueak your user name is so brilliant that I always have to think really hard to remember what her actual surname is 😂

@NeedToChangeRightNow you're starting Friday night like an utter champ. Tea for the win!

@WendyWagon How's it going? Do you have a fake gin tin ready?

I am looking forward to a peaceful weekend. Dd and dh have both had really busy weeks. Fish and chips tonight, then there is absolutely nothing in the diary until Monday. I think we might go to a plumber place tomorrow to pick out stuff for a bathroom renovation, but that will be the height of excitement for us. I shall be knitting, reading, and maybe a walk or bike ride if the weather improves.

@Blackberryblossom I sewed a mouse family for DD in lockdown - The Squeaks - Meryl is the Mum mouse 😎

Was excited for dessert tonight (Still haven't given up the sugar 😩)

Sainsburys used to do a delightful Madagascan vanilla cream and I thought I'd found it again.

Its now alcohol flavoured. And absolutely rank!!! I didn't spot it on the label as I'd never have bought it (alcohol does not belong in cream.... except for original Baileys 😂)

Rant over. Now off to have fruit and meringue!

Ha ha. Just noticed the "contains alcohol" on the lid. Whoops.

Thankfully it was so disgusting I only had a small amount and even my DP who still drinks said to bin it!!

(I still use wine in cooking but I've never like alcohol infused food and I don't think my tastes have changed!)

Namechanged for this because I'm embarrassed.

I usually have 1-3 drinks in the evening. On Wednesday I drank in the morning for the first time ever. It was really stupid. I was going away that day and didn't want to 'waste' an opened bottle by throwing the rest away. It impaired my judgement so that I thought 'just a little midday nap' afterwards - and nearly missed my travel plans when it was longer than I thought.

That was the last drink I had.

I'm surprised by how rough I feel. Digestive issues, insomnia, night sweats. It helps that I'm not at home - different routine, no temptation to drink. I'm planning to join a gym when I get back and spend the money I would have spent on booze on that instead. I used to exercise a lot pre-covid but since then I've just gotten fatter and unhealthier. In part due to lockdown drinking that never stopped.

I'm hoping it won't be too long before I start feeling better.

Welcome @SherbrookeNow . You've come to a good place.

Wave @Onewildandpreciouslife . I'm doing middling to ok thanks. Teenagers trying my nerves. I'd not survive the next few years if I was drinking, I'm sure. Or rather none of us would survive very well as I'm sure I'd be tearing a few too many strips of my younguns. They need lots of alcohol free patience.

Mind if I join in occasionally?

I haven't had an alcoholic drink since last Thursday so that's 8 days.

Considered myself a social drinker but have been increasingly OK resisting social pressure with friends/work dos when I've not wanted to drink. The issue is more that I'm a bit of a foodie, really into trying & tasting different types of wines and spirits etc. So stopping drinking has been honestly sad as I love the taste 😅

However I'd started to notice that even on nights where I'd just had 1 glass of wine, I'd wake up feeling so slow and muffled mentally.

I've had health problems all month and at each assessment I was asked if I drink alcohol and how much. So in the end I thought, fuck it, if it might help improve these symptoms in any way, it's worth trying sobriety for a bit.

Also I did find that moderation was hard, once you've started pouring you're more likely to top up. So just stopping has been easier as it's a blanket rule, no thought or decision needed.

What I'm wondering about is what attitude to take around special occasions, like I have 2 weddings to go to with ppl I expect to be a bit dull if I'm honest with you.

Should I allow say 1 drink on special occasions? Or just continue sobriety whilst my health is subpar.

Thanks all xx

For replacement drinks, I buy fever tree tonics in little cans. I serve myself a tonic with ice and lemon/lime, sometimes a dash of angostura bitters and honestly I don't miss the gin.

Morning all.
Thanks for all the kind messages.
Was having a turn. Feeling a lot better this morning. The tea has been drunk.
I thought I had finished the books but I have just found another four packing cases in the breakfast room. I might have to do cook books to the kitchen etc. Sounds logical.
@AlloftheTime the rant I needed was regarding our mortgage. It has gone up by mega bucks (although it is discounted). The skincare company I have been supporting has ghosted me and not paid and I felt completely shafted. When the news channels spew doom and gloom it effects companies all round. Everything gets cancelled. People buy little luxuries in a financial downturn, hence the 'lipstick effect' (although they are more likely to buy nail polish now). I rang around my old clients touting and got nowhere. However there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I did a bit of legal work for a friend and it paid off. I have sorted her out and she is going to come on board the bath and body Co in September. As long as the mad founder doesn't put the price up again!
Luckily lads I had milk and went to bed. I am not laying in the gutter or nursing a hangover. We have a corner shop here but I resisted. Hoorah.

@marzipanbattenburg welcome.
In answer to your question re special occasions the thread is about not drinking alcohol at all. Some of our number have had serious medical issues with booze and discussing moderation can trigger their addiction. Some people are in AA, SMART recovery or using alcohol suppressing drugs issued by the doctor. Everyone is welcome on the thread and we are here to give support for those who need or want an alcohol free life. X

@marzipanbattenburg and congrats on the 9 days!

Hello, just found this thread. I have not touched any alcohol for 6 weeks now. DH is a big drinker (as was I, up until a year ago) and I drank more out of habit. So am trying to be mindful about my consumption. Am feeling better for it, especially on a morning!

Please can I join?

For fun drinks, I have been ordering some 'too good to go' boxes, and have had quite a lot of artisanal soft drinks which I would never normally buy. It's been quite fun to try new stuff and stopped the 'missing out' feeling.

I also have some zero gin but I haven't felt the need yet.

Welcome @SherbrookeNow . There’s a really wonderful book called The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray, which has a section on how alcohol is a downward spiral: “your hands don’t shake … until they do; you don’t drink in the morning… until you do”. When I stepped off that downward escalator, my hands had started shaking- if I hadn’t stepped off, I dread to think where I’d be now.

You’ll probably start to feel better in a couple of days - in the meantime, drink plenty of water and be kind to yourself. I’d also suggest reading some “quit lit” while you’re away - the Unexpected Joy, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, and Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley are all good starting points

Welcome @justdrink and congratulations on your 6 weeks!

Morning all
have a great dry weekend !
@WendyWagon I'm always awed by your reaction to life’s challenges. You have a great sassy attitude and well done on ignoring the corner shop!
Am off to prep for weekend visitors but wanted to acknowledge your post and reply briefly- you are one of life’s doers I know but you do it all in magnificent style 😊

I would like to join this thread. I have been lurking on the last thread and this one and it has really helped me. I am 35 days AF and feel so much better for it. The pod cast and quit lit recommendations on here have been great. ‘One for the road’ podcast has really helped. The book that really clicked with me was ‘Alcohol Explained’ by William Porter. Very clear and factual and it just made sense to me. Also found ‘The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober’ a good read.

Stopping totally has made such a huge difference. Once I have a drink I find it very hard to stop, even though I can go days or even weeks (not very often) between a drink. But I have been very ashamed of myself for getting drunk. I split with my husband of nearly 20 years last year and it was really hard. I made a conscious choice not to use alcohol as a coping mechanism and didn’t drink in front of the kids…but it just meant I was binge drinking when they weren’t with me. They are all teens and my son saw me at the end of a night a few months back (I hope I held it together ,I feel like I did ,but teens aren’t stupid). I felt so ashamed and like such a bad mum. Their dad drinks daily and I want to show them that alcohol isn’t important to have a good time. They are my priority and so is my own health and well being, I can’t look after them and be a good mum if I don’t look after myself.

Reading this thread has helped so much. I feel proud of myself that I have managed several social situations without booze. In the past I would have gone fully expecting to drink and writing off the next day in my head. Now I go fully expecting to enjoy time with my friends and to wake up hangover free after a good nights sleep.

Telling people I am not drinking and planning what I am going to do at social occasions really helps. Having a good supply of AF drinks helps too. And using an app to keep account of the AF days is motivating for me. Journalling, the gym, running and large bags of Maltesers are also helpful.

There is a huge amount of openness, honesty and inspiration on this thread- thank you 😊

Well I managed a sober Friday! I slept so much better and feel good this morning.

However I was fairly hungover yesterday and always find it easier not to drink on a day like that. Tonight will be the real test because I feel normal again.

@threeandmeandthedog ah welcome. You made me well up. I too was ashamed of myself.
I spent a lot of my children's weekends bladdered. Mine was all stress and a form of self harm. Life was really shit and I couldn't work out how to handle the awful situations we were in (family illness, stolen money, lots of home moves). We all have a story but be proud of yourself. My DS told he was proud of me last year and it meant more to me than anything.
You have chosen a new path, skip down it!