On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

@Needtokickthehabit Im sorry you had to go through that. I had an abusive and neglectful childhood so I completely get it; I also think it’s a large part of the reason for my drinking problem. I did have some therapy for it and it did give me some useful coping skills. I try not to feel bitter but it’s hard, I feel that I didn’t have the good foundations to build a healthy life upon.

I’ve made it to the end of day two - not hungover or drunk. Hooray! I need to capture this feeling and remember it.

Morning all. Off today. So last "at peace" time to catch up. Still AF. Went a bit mad with the carbs yesterday but (excuses, excuses) had a mad day with the DG kiddies. Plus my friend had made a carby meal, which was very nice. Company was good and the atmosphere relaxed. She's not a drinker so all went well. No questions asked. Normally after the kid madness day, I would have had a stiff drink to get over it. Yesterday was a nice ice tea. Hit the spot just as well, if I'm honest.

My flight is this evening. My previous norm would have been a drink as soon as the trolley appeared. Today I'll have my water ready and not ask for anything.
As we'll arrive very late and have an early start tomorrow, no drinks tonight.
After that it will really be my will power against the rest of the world. Will try to curb the carbs but I'll just try to do my best and enjoy the break and fresh air.

@Bigbus well done! Gift yourself a hug or something nice. Capture the moment somewhere. It's silly but I've left myself notes in my drinks cupboard (which I keep for visitors, of which I have a lot). Little friendly reminders to myself to keep off the poison.

One positive is I've really got into a good sleeping routine. Which is bliss.

To everyone else, stay strong. One day at a time. I'll be reading your experiences, good and bad, mainly to stay motivated myself. Will catch up when I'm back. Hoping that I won't have too much bad to tell you.

Stay strong and love yourselves.

I am an idiot. I drank a bottle of wine last night and tried desperately to get my now ex to talk to me. He refused and I can see by the way he looked at me I disgust him. Oh god what have I done... I have ruined things all over again. We met up and I dressed to the nines to impress him, and I mean I went all out and looked great apparently going by the attention other men gave me but he had a steely cold look and just would not be softened. I know looks are not everything and it does sound manipulative but I tried one final time. It wasnt the alcohol that put him off last night it was my previous behaviour but I sat listening to him and drank wine anyway knowing it turns him off me. But that is it, there is my closure. I have fucked it all up. He said I said some nasty things over the holiday (ones i do not remember saying) and I just cant believe the words came out of my mouth. I actually asked him if he was trying to manipulate my memory because the things he said I said I have never even thought but hey I dont remember cos I was too drunk. I hate myself. I want to reverse time and I cannot.

@Needtokickthehabit well, no, you can't turn back time. But you can shape the future.
To be honest, meeting up with your ex is like something I would have done. Admittedly, a long time ago, but it's just your personality and an element of self sabotaging going on.
Keep trying - you'll get to a point where you know you want what's best for you, and you'll do it. It's just this road that's a bit rocky.

@Nowstrong have a good rest - it's a change of scenery at least. And yes, sleep is so much better. I haven't had wine in just over 10 days, and I've slept really well.
@Bigbus that's great, well done ! Much better feelings than the ones we get when hungover.

Well, apart from a few beers and the dreaded brandy ( which incidentally I will never drink again), I haven't drank wine in 13 days. I'm feeling OK really - a bit restless, but ok. I'm not going out today but the others are ( only 2 of them).
I'm just going to relax, look after the dog / house, some life administration.
I watched 6 tennis matches yesterday and didn't even think about drinking.

How's everyone else doing ? @Coppergate5 @Mummykins54 @OhShitImNearly40 @Neverinamonthofsundays @OhShitImNearly40 @Touty @WendyWagon @enoughisenough4 @indieray @texy @thebabessavedme

Usual apologies, I know some are taking a break from sm.

@Amdone123 not brilliantly. I've basically drank a bottle of wine every other day for at least a week, this is actually more often than when I joined this thread 🤦‍♀️ on one hand I've not drank over a bottle, which is still progress but on the other hand I'm on a very slippery slope. I think I need to just have a proper break for a bit as it's becoming a bit silly really. I'm self employed and I've got lots of work I need to get done before I start my course, so I really shouldn't be wasting time with wine. I've realised (and this is not an excuse) that I feel like having wine is the only time DH and I have a 'proper' chat. He's not a big conversationalist, but I think this needs addressing without alcohol so I'm going to try and work on that.

Hope everyone else is ok, will catch up properly in a bit x

Sorry all. I have been in bed ill, still there.
DH came home with gastric flu Saturday. It got me Monday night. Grim.

@WendyWagon oh no. Get better soon, lovely. Plenty of fluids ( water of course !).

@enoughisenough4 I'm like that with my husband. The only time we talk is when we're on a roadtrip ( captive audience), when we're on holiday and when I'm drunk 😩.
We get on perfectly well but tonight for example, we'll be in different rooms, watching different things.

Not so good here, went on hols with the kids (holiday camp type thing) and drunk a bit in the evenings. Didn’t get drunk but had a few pints every day.
Not too bothered by it as it’s kind of a special occasion, just have to abstain when back home. Pretty confident that should be ok.
Off on my second hol with my gf tomorrow for a few days, that one should be a lot easier. I swear those holiday camps are just set up to look after the kids while the parents drink!

@OhShitImNearly40 🤣 I used to always think that parks should have bars ! They're so boring. I think I'd have taken mine more often.
You sound in control ( of the alcohol ! ), so that's good. Holidays are tricky.
I'm going to drink today because I'm watching tennis. Only 1 bottle though and then I'll switch to beers. I haven't had wine in 2 weeks, so all good.

Yo! Throwing my hat back into the ring here. I've been on the threads before and recognise some names like @Amdone123. I've slipped back into my daily drinking and feel lethargic and depressed. So back to moderation for me. The plan is AF tonight, first time in weeks and weeks, out with friends tomorrow and can't face a weekend AF yet, so will be AF Mon to Thurs next week. Will be good to get to know the new faces here.

@Hohofortherobbers hallo again ! Good to hear you've got a plan. It's no fun feeling lethargic and depressed !
I think the holidays have been quite tricky for lots on here, self included. I start work next week so I'm af til then and hopefully til my holiday mid September.
I'd planned to drink yesterday but didn't open it til 4pm which was good for me. Only 1 bottle, then beers as intended.

@Touty please get to an AA meeting I have been to 6 now - all different and they are so welcoming - just go onto the AA website and type in your town - you will be amazed at the nunmber of nice dolk who will help you Sending hugss

@Mummykins54 6 already ! That's brilliant. How are you doing, overall ?

@Amdone123 I went to a lovely group last night who actually giave me iterature to read. I am not a snob but the meeting the night before who chaired it every second word was feck. That is not me . Last night was chaired by two lovely people what a contrast but each meeting is different x

@Mummykins54 that's not right - they should be using appropriate language. I'm no prude either but there's a time and a place.
You've just reminded me actually why I only went to 1 meeting. It was all old men, nothing against men or old men, but they were talking like those idiots you come across in Wetherspoons - the ones that always seem to corner me !!

@Amdone123 the meeting last night was really good. I tod the woman who did the top chair what I expesperiened she was horried.

Last nights meeting was lovely, woman who chaired was like a school teacher lol.

It is the best meeting that I have been to and I will go back x

Hello, I hope it's ok to join.

I've recently started The Sinclair Method for alcohol reduction after failing at abstinence many, many times.

My weekly units have gone from 90 (😱) to 14 so I'm happy with that.

Just wondered if anyone else uses the Sinclair method or has any thoughts on it?

Hi @tsmhero and of course you're more than welcome to join us.
Well done on reducing your intake by so much. That's brilliant.
I've never heard of Sinclair so I'm off to Google.

@tsmhero just looked the Sinclair method and it looks like they charge you for it -is that the case? @Amdone123 off to another meeting tonight that I have to last Friday . this will be number 6 x

I haven't heard of the Sinclair method either, so googled it. You've had amazing results @tsmhero ! How long have you being using the method?

@Mummykins54 - you're doing brilliantly with these AA meetings. Glad to hear that some of them at least are great. Thank goodness that not so great one wasn't your first.

I'm pleased to report that I got straight back on the wagon after my four day holiday. I'm glad it wasn't any longer tbh as the drinking definitely started earlier and the only thing that stopped me was going to bed on the last night, no hangover though - so I avoided a red dot (which was quite generous of me!).

I was back at work yesterday and really tired when I got home, mainly due to getting up two hours earlier. It made me want a drink - to sink into old habits. I went for a walk, did some jobs instead and went to bed super-tired and ready to sleep. So now my sleep is top of my sorting out list. I have to get up at the same time every day - weekend/day off/work day or not & no taking the ipad to bed! I've done two days now.

So, new month! I've got an 18 months diary now to record now only my alcohol sticker but my ZOE scores and step count. I may still do the alcohol planner as well though, as that is the #1 - sticking to my alcohol rules. I have so many rules now about everything but really it is just plain old self care, or delayed gratification. Lost nearly 4 lbs this month and pleased with that too.

Morning all and welcome to newcomers.
Not doing too well here. In the day all is ok and drinking water as usual. It's in the evenings. Yesterday we shared a bottle of wine. Not dramatic but feeling a bit of a wimp not resisting. Carbs wise I'm doing ok except 3 butter biscuits last night.
Trying to just enjoy my holiday and relax. I'm telling myself that a couple of glasses of wine are not the end of the world. Which is true. It's not a whole bottle to myself plus shots afterwards.
Trying to remain positive and accept that I'm only human and temptation happens.
Wishing you all strength and a lovely weekend

@Nowstrong you're doing really well. Water through the day is fantastic. I'm going away soon and I know I won't be drinking water through the day. Your wine intake is really sensible too.

@Coppergate4 tiredness is a huge trigger for me. I'm back at work next week and I've already had to speak to myself about this ! Not popping to the supermarket on the way home, etc. You're doing great, well done on the 4lbs, that's good. I appear to be losing a pound a week, too. A pound a week is over 3 stone in a year.

I was a bit hungover yesterday. I won't drink now til 18th September. I know I won't because I've ran out of duty free cigarettes and I refuse to buy them here ! Also, I need to lose a few more pounds.
Have a lovely weekend, folks, keep trying and one day at a time.

Thanks! It's been easy, honestly, I've been lucky to have responded so quickly,

I've done various forms of abstinence in the past and been successful for months but never years.

I decided for me that maybe the best thing was to stop looking at my alcohol issues through a lens of addiction. I didn't have a physical addiction and I'd already had intensive therapy for various childhood issues and felt I'd already talked through the root of it.

So I looked for something that would help me treat the compulsion, kind of like the way you can paint that nasty tasting stuff on fingernails to stop you biting them.

It's worked perfectly for me, it's been a few months and I stay within weekly limits of units easily now. That compulsion to drink just isn't there.

It's not for everyone but it's brilliant for me.

I think someone asked about costs, it works out about 2 pounds a tablet (you only take the tablet on days you drink) and that stops me drinking about 10 pounds worth of wine, so it's pretty cost effective IMO.