On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

@OhShitImNearly40 sorry to hear about the bad patch. Good that you got a positive from it.
Wow, cycling to work is great, good for you. I need a new hobby - cycling could work !
Also, regarding the alcohol that's good that, as you say, it's not part of your everyday life.
I drank yesterday and the day before ( only 2 glasses but yesterday a lot).
I must remember how easily it does become part of your daily life, so thanks for that reminder !
It's easier when your partner doesn't drink, too.

Im still here, just about hanging on. My MH feels so much better, I never want to feel the way I did 3 weeks ago ever again. It was so bad that I don't think I will ever forget it, it was not a 'normal' hangover, it was pure desperation. The bonus of all this is that my skin looks great and I have lost the bloated look, feels pretty good tbh.

Wishing all of you a safe and sober weekend, and believe me, you will feel so much better just for knowing 'you tried'.

@thebabessavedme glad you're doing OK. I know many people who've had horrendous hangovers and never drank again.
I'm going to have an af weekend.

Well I’ve blown it tonight. I needed a change, fed up of drinking tea and water, so I’ve had some drinks and pizza in oven. 2 lagers and vodka and tonic, not really enjoying the vodka but run out of lager, well and lager is fattening!

Morning all.
Just checking in.
Anniversary of my father's passing yesterday but I managed not to get pissed.
My go to for anything awful was/ is booze. A friend lost her son this week and it brings it all into perspective. My dad was elderly, had a pretty good retirement and wouldn't have wanted to be completely incapacitated. If I make 81 with all my ailments, I will be OK with 'goodnight Eileen' at that point.
When I have had a blip I remind myself to lose the guilt.
I am doing this for me. No one owns me, so it's my choice.
I get up, drink tea and try again.
We start with a day, a week a month. After that it is much easier I promise. And boy if you drink you will feel like sh*t so you don't bother.
I am a big fan of the Gordon's AF. Lots of ice and huge lemon slices. Gin wasn't my tipple but I don't do sweet so this suits.
Have a good day.

Morning. Well Touty, I'm with you this morning. Had family over last night. Lots of laughs, was pretty good food wise, but the Wine Witch hooked me and I had a few glasses of wine. Funnily enough I did sleep well.
Well back on the wagon for me.
I'm learning that mishaps happen and that this is better than drinking every day.
Going back to AF days for as long as possible.
Back to the pool... at least I'm toning up (slightly).
Wishing you all a great Saturday

@Nowstrong @Touty , don't forget to look at the big picture. You've both been doing so well, it's just a one off and as @WendyWagon says, try to lose the guilt ( if any) - something I've learned to do.
@WendyWagon your poor friend. ❤️

I like Gordon's af, too. I don't drink gin either ; I think it suits because I have no expectations like I do with wine.
I've had a bad week but trying to take my own advice and look at the big picture. 5 days out of 7 I didn't drink. One of the 2 was only 2 glasses but the other day was a lot really. I think coppergate ( I've not tagged because she's taking a break), hit the nail on the head for me when she said once a week is too much. I think I'll aim for 14 days af then see if I want a drink. It's a long time since I've reached double figures though.
I don't plan to drink today.
Have a lovely weekend folks, keep trying.

How are you doing @Bigbus @Manyrivers @Neverinamonthofsundays @Starlia @indieray @texy @enoughisenough4 , usual apologies - I'm trying to be mindful of people who are on a break !

Thanks @Amdone123 im back from my break. I took a set of amount alcohol and I brought some back! Although I did go to the pub one night so it all evens out. I did what I planned and felt ok. The challenge now though is to get out of the everyday drinking mode of holiday. I did have one AF day while I was away. I’m volunteering all day today at a festival so won’t drink while I’m doing that and back to work on Monday so hopefully I’ll get back in the zone with drinking and eating . That said, I feel like it went well because I didn’t pig out or get drunk but I also didn’t deny myself - I’m trying to be a better example to my teenage daughters. All they ever see is me not eating ice cream and still
not losing weight so now I’m going to have the ice cream!

I hope everyone has a good weekend x

Morning all. I know I'm not drinking today, big BBQ with friends and family so I have made a decision that today I am going to look fab (bring on the glam ) and be present and in the moment. I want to feel refreshed when I wake up tomorrow with no underlying feelings of regret or guilt or worrying that I behaved badly. I want my dh to feel proud of me instead of embarrassed . That is my plan and I'm sticking to it!

Wishing all of you a lovely, sunny, happy day. X

@Bigbus that's a great attitude. We're very similar ( there's a surprise !), but we need a life. We also don't want to be miserable. I'm sure you'll get back in The Zone - I know I will. I found these holidays challenging and we haven't even had great weather.
@thebabessavedme you can do it. I know when I've set out this type of challenge for myself, I've done it. If you feel like you might want a drink, reach for those af drinks and snacks.
Play it forward - tomorrow you're going to feel fantastic ❤️
@Determineddoris are we back ? Even though you've been checking in, your holiday lasted forever 🤣

@Amdone123 mixed here. I haven't had any times when I've gone overboard since that night which brought me to this thread, but I haven't been as AF as I ought to have been over the last week or so. I really really fancy the wine witch tonight. But I did last night and by 9:30pm the craving had passed, and today I was glad I didn't. Why is it so bloody addictive??? I've just finished reading the unexpected joy of being sober, which was very good.

I've been reading the thread but I've not been very good at keeping up with who's who, sorry. It certainly seems like everyone is doing so well though, as you say it's good to look at the bigger picture rather than the streak of AF days, unless that's really important to you of course. Progress not perfection as PP said (I'm so sorry I've forgotten who said it!)

Hope everyone is having a lovely evening, no matter what you're drinking

@enoughisenough4 don't worry about keeping up with who's who - just post when you need help or want to share something. I'm glad you posted this evening because I'm in a similar predicament. I tried this week but as you said, it's so addictive.
I went shopping today - didn't mean to - I thought my sister and I were just going for a walk. Anyway, got 4 new dresses for my holiday, absolute bargain in the sales and I actually stood in the supermarket debating whether to get wine or not.
I decided no, and just got the dresses. I'm so glad I didn't. I would have picked up 2 bottles, smoked, etc and felt rubbish tomorrow.

@Amdone123 yay to the dresses! You'll feel and look amazing in them I'm sure.

I know, I'm still sat here thinking about it tbh, hoping DH suggests it. He won't, because he can take it or leave it unlike me. I feel like it's going to take up my whole evening and I'm not even going to have any. Total waste of an evening.

@Amdone123 well done for that willpower in the shop!

@enoughisenough4 thanks ! My sister was actually saying, buy it if you want it. I took one look at her ( she's drastically hungover today), and said No. We were laughing because she looks awful today.
It doesn't bother me now I'm home though. Not at all. I'm having water and tea. Sorry it's still on your mind - that must be hard. I'm much more a daytime drinker than evening.

@Amdone123 double well done for the willpower especially as you had encouragement!

I'm still thinking about it, pathetically hoping DH will suggest it. I'm not a day drinker at all (no judgement! My life just doesn't allow for it). It's very much the evening for me

DH suggested it! Hurrah! I am pathetic.

🤦‍♀️

Well, I did it, all afternoon and into the evening. Im tucked up in bed now listening to the family chatting and laughing. In all seriousness i can't say I have truly enjoyed today, so much going on with my life, so much stress etc but hell, at least Im sober, one less problem I suppose

@enoughisenough4 you're not pathetic 🤣, now enjoy !
@thebabessavedme well done ! You did it which is great because now you know you can. Funny that you say you didn't particularly enjoy it. I was just thinking that. Had I bought wine today, I'd have been 'entertained'.....as it is, my day has been quite slow and non eventful. But.....I know I'll be happier in the morning.
And so will you - well done again. It's not easy 👏

Well another fail today. Why is it that I can go for 40 days with no booze, but then once I start In hooked again. Part of the problem is I’m so bloody bored, I just feel unfulfilled, I’m 50 so I don’t know.

don’t laugh but I think I’m a frustrated dancer, it’s like I have all this energy but I don’t know what to do with it.

Morning all.
I was sorting clothes for the charity shop yesterday.
Four huge bags done, many items with tickets on. I am a shopping addict too. Many pissed purchases in the past.
Our son is coming back home today for a year to save for a house. He has been away for two and half years.
He is the booze police so that will help me.
I still dream of wine. I don't have many boozers in my life anymore to encourage me (I lost two friends when I went AF. They were looking for my free hospitality! ). The freedom thread has been a huge support to me but I can't say I am perfect or an expert. Most people claim to not think about booze anymore. Hum. For me it is one day at a time. After all the graft yesterday it would have been great to have a cold glass but for me that would mean a whole bottle. I sent the DH out for the chippy tea and told him why. He knows it's a struggle for me still. I came down this morning to find his empty Guinness AF can. He's not a drinker. For that I am grateful.
Have a good day.

Morning !
@Touty I call that 'getting a taste for it'. I had 2 glasses one day last week then the next day went a bit mad. It's because I was thinking about it and all its false promises really. I'm best totally abstaining.
Is there an exercise class anywhere near ( I know you live quite isolated ?), or if I can't make zumba, I do the you tube ones. My sister and our grandchildren often have a mad half hour dancing. Can you look into an exercise class, or walking groups ?
@WendyWagon I think most people still think of it, just like ex smokers. Hope your chippy tea was good - if I eat, I don't drink. I need to sort my wardrobe too. I do it quite often but this week I've got a few jobs to do, so that's on my list. My ds is the Wine police, too, but he always buys it for me, if I ask.
I am so glad I didn't drink yesterday. I've woke up feeling refreshed not hungover, motivated not lethargic, positive not negative.
I was aiming for a 2lb loss, but I've lost a pound. Which is fair enough as I drank.
But I'm inspired for this week - it's a No Brainer for me.
Drink and I feel rubbish, don't drink and I feel great.

So yesterday was not AF. I feel crap and stupid for drinking do much because I had a brilliant sober day and only started drinking in the later evening then had too much. On the plus side I remember everything and didn’t do anything stupid but I hate feeling so shit the next day. It’s so unnecessary. Will be AF now at least until Wednesday. I’m such an idiot.

@Bigbus , you're not an idiot. One of the reasons I no longer berate myself is because it is so addictive ; so many levels to it. I can begin a day with the very best of intentions then bam ! Out of nowhere, I'm drinking. It's just so bloody tiring sometimes.

Be good to yourself today. Lots of self care, water/ tea. And make a plan for Monday to Wednesday, so you know you're going to beat the Wine Witch.
You're going to feel great on Wednesday ❤️

@Amdone123 you’re so kind. I feel like I’ve wasted a day now (today) and I need to stop doing this. Life has been so much better without the hangovers! I will stop
eating myself up and get through on Diet Coke and paracetamol and feel much better tomorrow!