On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

@enoughisenough4 I can really relate to not wanting to be hungover for stuff with the kids. I’ve done it too many times and I feel really stupid looking back. Also I’ve messed up things I was looking forward to by getting too drunk at them. its madness really.

i think im doing ok really. I really wanted a glass of wine last night at about 11pm but instead I brushed my teeth to tell myself it’s bedtime, not wine time! @Determineddoris I think that’s kind of like a physical barrier. Wine and toothpaste doesn’t go together very well!

I‘m off on holiday on Friday - Devon for a week. My kids are older (16,15 and 11) so they don’t get up early and need less constant physical presence so holidays are actually holidays now! I‘m really looking forward to it. I plan to take some wine with me and that will be the alcohol ration. I think I will be ok, I’m really trying to do the playing it forward that @Amdone123 taught me. I want to enjoy my holiday and not wake up feeling crappy.

looks like the sun might have finally come out here in London. I hope everyone has a good day.

Good morning! Had nothing to drink at all (fizzy water) last night. SO proud. Can totally relate to escapism, much food for thought, it actually kept me off the bottle yesterday. It's also when I have had a drink (or 2) that I get food cravings. So it's onwards and upwards. Feel very motivated. Keeping my ironing for this evening, just in case I need something to do. Hope you all have a brilliant day.

Good one @Bigbus and @Nowstrong !! Reading your posts are so encouraging to me and everyone ! And yes wine and toothpaste doesn't go ! (Saying that I think at my lowest point I was brushing my teeth around 11am and started drinking :( ) anyway that's in the past right ? Devon sounds lovely would love to go! Enjoy it all and rationing sounds good too! @Nowstrong you have already thought ahead about the ironing that is brilliant ! You got this x

@Nowstrong , well done, that's brilliant. It's great to have a plan in place. I haven't ironed since 1988 but good for you!
@Bigbus holiday sounds lovely. I think the weather is set to improve too. And yes, you can enjoy a drink and your holiday, too. You can do it - I think it's a question of planning and being mindful.
@Determineddoris , hope your holiday is going well. I'm still massively in awe of you - 8 weeks is fantastic. You've had a total mindset change. So inspirational.
@Coppergate4 how's the chart ? I think you're 2 weeks now - I think it's better to have a plan for the 6 weeks and go back to work at least moderately refreshed ! Nothing worse than coming off a break needing another one.

Well, I'm home. Had a great time and despite my 1 day of drinking too much and falling, I actually moderated overall. Drank at least 3 litres of water a day and walked so much. Amazingly, I didn't put any weight on ( still overweight and need to lose a stone, but I'll get there).
Went to see my new great nephew yesterday. Had a glass of champagne with my nephew. Came home and drank water. Result.
Got my sister in law's funeral today ( circle of life in my family at the moment). I probably will drink at the wake, but my plan is not to carry on when I get home.
Have a great day, everyone.
Keep doing your best, it's all you can do.

Chart has 8 little smiley faces on it @Amdone123 - love them! Yes, I'm at two weeks and 1 day now.

I am considering putting a purple smiley face on today because DH has asked me to go with him to a pub that is a 15 min walk away when you can sit out next to a lake and watch the ducks as the weather seems a bit warmer today. I was going to go and just have a soft drink but I'm now thinking this would be a good time to have a glass of wine (and test what it does using my glucose monitor). It's all in the name of Science! I might have one, I might have two but I won't have three.

Glad you had a great holiday and did so well stopping at one glass of champagne. I hope the funeral goes as well as it can, sorry about your sister in law @Amdone123 .

In other news I really need to start getting on with my other holiday projects - like getting the house in order! I've been immersed in ZOE and food etc these last few days and really need to get some balance back!

Right, just checking in. All settled back down here now. Fridge all stocked with AF drinks.

I am determined that I will not go back to drinking that poison every night.

@Coppergate4 wonderful smiley chart and yes I too would love to see the stickers and chart in a pic -sucker for all that! Did you end up having two drinks tonight ? (Sorry am 2 hours ahead I keep forgetting when I post!)
@Amdone123 well bloody done on the one glass of champers. And aw congrats I LOVE a new baby! Hope the funeral goes ok definitely not a fan of those.
@Touty glad you are ok! Your mind set is brilliant!

Evening, all. We all sound so determined, it's great to read !
Funeral was lovely. I didn't want to go to the wake, but dh persuaded me.
The hosts didn't have wine as such, just a half bottle of dessert wine they'd found in the back of the cupboard (They're not big drinkers.
I remembered I used to take my own whenever we visited ).
Anyway, I mixed it with lemonade, then had coke zero. I ate the 3 course meal they provided ( omg, delicious) - not something I would have done before.
So, a good day ➕

So, I found tonight hard, I really wanted a drink because of, boredom I suppose. I notice that the more I drink the more I want it. The more I get used to abstaining the less I want it and a new habit is formed; new neural pathways. I read somewhere that there are two ways to speak to the unconscious mind, hypnosis and or habit.

Morning! Just received a message from my App informing me that I'm now 80 hours AF. That's a very encouraging message to receive early morning.

I'm entertaining this evening and tomorrow evening. It's going to be hard not to over drink. Think I will invent some health problem and stick to water...

Touty I relate to the more I drink, the more I want. Best thing for me is not to start. Easier said than done though.

I'm off for a long hike this morning. Walking always makes me think and perhaps I can persuade myself that I CAN do this.

Good vibes to all, I've still to memorize your names, am reading through the thread slowly but surely. A lot of inspirational stories and hacks. Have a good day lovely ladies. Love yourselves.

ok @Determineddoris I've attached a sneak peek of my planner 😄. The '4.0' is the end digit of my weight in pounds. Purple sticker yesterday as I had one large glass of wine at the pub (and a pint of water) - I didn't want a second one. Been there before though - easily able to stop at one or two, think I've cracked it and...No! I am well aware that this only happens when I have plenty of AF days in-between...

Wow congratulations @Nowstrong 80 days! Enjoy your hike!

I think there is a lot in what you've said @touty. Well done for pushing through a hard day. I always think the hard days count way more than the easy one - that's where the real change is happening.

@Amdone123 glad the funeral was lovely ❤

Yay to the planner @Coppergate4 I love it so much! I want to do one but don't know what for maybe weight too? Only because I'm absolutely abstaining (as the title) lol and yes yes yes about the once you start I definitely would never stop so I'm in awe of you lot for drinking one glass and that's it! Amazing I think personally that's harder than not drinking at all. The mental gymnastics. @Amdone123 I'm glad the funeral went ok lovely. Hope you are ok. What's the plan of action next few days?
@Nowstrong love the apps giving all the encouragement 80 hours sounds pretty decent!
Well done @Touty I've found those days but they've got easier and easier the more AF days I've racked up.

Yes - could be weight @Determineddoris ! I've done something similar with the planner double pages spread at the start of an A4 diary for weight when I was daily weighing (I'm monthly weighing now) and then highlighted the days when my weight dropped. I enjoyed that.

I'm also trying to follow the glucose revolution hacks (well most of them) - especially have a savoury breakfast, have a veggie starter, eat sweet things after a meal not as a snack, move after eating. I had considered getting another planner for that! I could have one for housework too! I'm going to just stick with the alcohol for now though (and monthly WI). This is the one I have (A3 size):

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B089NG1L6H?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details

Morning all. @Nowstrong , you're doing really well. Keep going. I think the trick with entertaining is to eat, have lots of af drinks on hand and also, to be a little bit stubborn if the wine witch arrives - tell her to do one.
I love walking and thinking too. You CAN do it. One day, or hour, at a time.
@Coppergate4 , the planner is brilliant. You're doing so well - you're obviously a visual learner, like me. You're smashing this. Visualise also how much better you'll look and feel in 1 week, 2 weeks, a month, to spur you on.
@Touty so true what you've posted. When I'm off it, I rarely think about it. The neural pathways is interesting and the hypnosis / habit. I'll read up on that later.
@Determineddoris love that you're Absolutely Abstaining as per ! It made me laugh. It's like I predicted it for you - we were meant to be 🤣
I've got a rest day today, thank god.
Party tomorrow for dh's 60th - only for the kids, nothing big, then spa Saturday and Sunday.
I'm so glad I booked that instead of town because I can't see myself getting drunk and smoking in a spa. Though as @Coppergate4 states, I think we always have to be quite mindful.

Morning all, so lovely to read such positive posts. I am doing well, on day 11, feeling like a human being again. I honestly felt I had lost my soul I felt so dreadful. Wishing everyone a safe, happy sober day. x

@thebabessavedme , that's really good. Well done. I'm so glad you're feeling better for it. It really does make you feel dreadful when you can't get off it.
That's why I always feel so sorry for drug addicts and I hate it when people call them 'druggies'. Anyone of us could get hooked on drink and drugs.
There but for The Grace Of God Go I ❤️

Small glass of wine when out to dinner. Bought none for back in the house. Was temptedbut made a toastie and cuppa instead.

Hi All 👋 I'm haven't been on here before, I'm 2 days sober and planning on going to an AA meeting tomorrow. I don't like group activities so I doubt I'll like it but I have to do something. Wish me luck!

@Needtokickthehabit that's great, well done. It's so hard to resist sometimes buying on the way home. You'll be glad of that decision tomorrow.
Hi @BoredAndNotDomesticated , well done on your 2 days and on making the decision to go to an AA meeting. I only went to one AA meeting - it wasn't for me, but I'm glad I went. They were a lovely bunch, really welcoming. You don't have to speak if you don't want to.
Let us know how you get on !

Thanks, I figure they'll be able to give me information at AA even if I don't feel the meetings are for me. Telling my husband I needed help was awful, but it's done now. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Feeling proud because I've got an unopened bottle of wine in the kitchen that I was given as a gift today, usually it'd be drunk ASAP but it's still unopened. I'll be gifting it to someone else tomorrow just to get rid of it. Husband doesn't drink so he's happy to make sure there's no alcohol in the house.

@BoredAndNotDomesticated well done on your 2 days AF and not drinking the wine! Also well done on planning to go to AA. Wishing you all the best!

Still here. My App now says 4 days and 7 hours AF.

Last night went really well. Served drinks and food, had an AF beer, then fizzy water. Did all the cleaning up before bed and slept wonderfully.

I've given friends an 11:00 meeting to go swimming together. Got another dinner to prep for tonight. Staying very active. Seem to be on a "high". Have lost 1/2 kg (still too much to go though) and the bags under my eyes have nearly disappeared. At my age that is a very positive note.
I've downloaded the audio book "Alcohol Explained 2, Tools for a Stronger Sobriety ", very interesting.

Would like to thank everyone for their encouragements. Also adding my little grain of motivation. If I can do it, you can.

Wishing you all a lovely day.

Morning all, wow such positive reads honestly it makes me so happy and encouraged we are all doing the right thing!
Well done @Needtokickthehabit on the one wine and no buying on way home that's a brilliant achievement and I bet you feel great this morning !
Hi and welcome @BoredAndNotDomesticated ! Amazing that you have taken these steps. I also found it hard telling H back in the day , he was convinced I didn't have an issue but I did go to AA for a few months, had a sponsor, went to the meetings and at the start it did make me stop which was the whole aim! But after a while I couldn't get into it but it may be different for you and it's so good that your H already doesn't drink! Let us know how you get on you got this!
Well done on 11 days @thebabessavedme !! Brilliant !! I found it so hard to jump on that treadmill at the start took me months and months!
@Nowstrong absolutely killing it too! Prepping for dinner parties would trigger me (not that I had loads) but you must feel wonderful this morning ! Swimming is a brilliant exercise and with friends even better ! Might try and do that myself when I have a chance once kids are back to school! I still haven't read alcohol explained 1 but 2 sounds more practical glad you are liking it! With the weight loss we all need to lose it but 1/2kg is loads. I can hardly shift 200grams! But on holiday what can I say , I am clocking up the steps though especially going up and down the water slides ! Have a great day people x oh and @Touty thinking of you how are you doing ?

Thanks all. DH already felt I had an issue, he brought it up 2 years ago and since then I've been trying to keep a lid on it. I've had an upset more recently and it's like it just tipped it over from something I have vague control over to out of control. Doubt I'll enjoy AA, I never do 'group' anything, but if nothing else it'll make me confront the issue and stop denying it. Day 3 today.

@BoredAndNotDomesticated well done on Day 3. You'll find what works for you. I've tried alsorts and I'm still a work in progress but I'm miles better than I was.
Interesting about partners. My dh is the opposite. All I get is, You're not that bad, You just enjoy yourself, etc etc. But then I'm probably not totally honest with him, all the time.
I moderated on Wednesday at the funeral, yesterday I had nothing - didn't think about it really. Today, party day - I'm not sure about today. Don't want to be hungover for our weekend - I'll be needing more than a spa.
@Nowstrong you're doing really well. Your evening went textbook ! Such a contrast I imagine to what it could have looked like. Keep going - one hour, day at a time.