On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

@Determineddoris , god, hope things get better for you. It must be so worrying and stressful. No wonder you feel like running away. I've ran away for less. Yes, get in touch with the support workers. I couldn't do this alone.
Let us know how you get on, but stay strong - you are doing superbly to stay away from the Demon Drink. That wouldn't make it better, anyway.

@Touty , well done on 30 days. As @Bigbus said, it could be separate from the alcohol issue?
How are you feeling this morning? Can you plan something to look forward to ? I have to plan stuff all the time to keep me going.

All ok here. Obviously I started my health kick yesterday, feel better already.
Keep on keeping on, folks ❤️

I feel low again today. Just wonder if there is anything to look forward to, any joy etc. Every day is the same. I feel quite socially isolated. I miss being able to have a few drinks in the evening and numb out.

I try to tell myself that there are others who have it worse. I try to appreciate the small pleasures in life, but on a day like today I can’t identify what they are.

Im also taking progesterone and I find that this makes me depressed.

Awh @Touty , I'm so sorry to hear that.
What is your living situation? Do you work ? Did you used to drink on your own ?
What about, going to your gp and getting the medication altered ?
It's awful when you feel so down. Yes, there are others worse off, but you matter, too. Your feelings are valid the same as everyone else's.
Keep posting, please, we'll help you the best we can ❤️

I hope you can get good support soon @Determineddoris - it sounds very challenging.

I still haven't recovered from my long weekend away - had an afternoon naps two days in a row now (at least today's was shorter). I didn't mean to but...

Home with DH last night I had three glasses of wine before stopping. He's back late tonight, and it may involve me picking him up from the station so I doubt I'll drink. That's about all I can say. I just haven't really got going with anything yet.

@Touty - sorry you're feeling low. Wish I could say something to help. I'm not exactly rocking it myself at the moment - I do know just getting outside and/or doing something productive, not matter how small, seems to help.

Morning, folks, how are we all today ?

Good conversation with my sister yesterday not the one who was ill recently - she barely drinks, but my younger one, who is actually my partner in crime when it comes to going out. She enjoyed the gathering but she said she was so drunk she was ill Sunday, Monday and still felt rough yesterday. She said she felt like she'd been poisoned. She can't remember anything from the gathering - I know she's upset someone because they confided in me, but I didn't tell her - she felt bad enough as it was.
Anyway, the Good News is she's giving up so that can only help us both !
Day 3 here and I'm not missing it, no cravings and feel OK.

Great you're sister is joining you @Amdone123 (although sorry she had to go through that to get there)!

I am very, very pleased to say I have done a day AF! Finally! I nearly had a glass of wine with my meal last night (It would've been one as I needed to pick up DH from station two hours later) but at the last minute had a glass of water with DS. After that point I didn't notice - that struck me later - that wine was only on my mind for the 30 seconds where I was about to pour a glass and then went for water instead. That has to be progress!

I feel happier and more motivated today, so far at least. Not sure whether that is related but I'll take it!

Sorry not you're but your!!

@Coppergate4 , someone on here said to me that the small changes I was making were great, because eventually they'll lead to one Big Change. It's so true. That choice may only seem small, but it's massive already in how you're feeling.
Also, you might have carried on ! Then you would be feeling rubbish. So, great choice and well done.
Just take it one day at a time.
See what today brings, but you can do it.
I will say, too, that sometimes when I'm on an af streak, I can forget how many days and have to use my fingers to count em up ! So, even though it's difficult to get off the starting block, once you're off it, I think it's somewhat 'easier'.
Hope that makes sense ❤️

@Coppergate4 well done for your first day AF whoohoo, the first full day is actually the hardest I must say I have done a 100 of those....as @Amdone123 says its the small changes that make the big change and the small changes are just as important and give you that high! Glad your sis is on the wagon as such with you @Amdone123 ! @Touty how are you feeling today?

Thank you @Determineddoris & @Amdone123 ! Day 2 is looking very likely now as 9 pm and not a drop!
I started the process of adopting some healthier food habits today too (mainly glucose revolution ‘hacks’) which is helping - something to focus on! Hoping not to be tempted by an afternoon nap again tomorrow (3 days in a row now! Oops!).
it is very true about the small choices!

Evening, thank you for your comments of support. I am feeling a little better. I haven’t had a drink so still on the wagon,unbelievable really.

@Amdone123 I work part time. My partner works long hours so I’m on my own at home a lot. Living abroad, not much community here, yes I did most of my drinking on my own on the balcony every night. I had two good friends here, one returned permenantly to her country of origin and the other died suddenly and unexpectedly this year.

@Coppergate4 thank you.

And I’ve actually lost 3 kilos! And I can see it going from my belly!

I had a bit of a disaster yesterday. So I managed 2 days AF then last night I went out after work and had two glasses of wine on an empty stomach - I did then have the sense to go home but then carried on there! I could tell all day I was thinking ahead to having a drink. I should learn to read these warning signs and make better plans. So basically I had a crappy night with little sleep, feeling sweaty and stupid. Now I have my day off and a feel a bit rubbish and I wish I hadn’t had all that wine. It’s been a while since I’ve done this and it’s good timing to teach me a lesson - it’s DH’s birthday this weekend and it’s a danger zone for drinking so hopefully the way I feel today will be enough of a reminder that moderation is so much better than excess. I wish I could go back and I drink the last half a bottle!

Bigbus - don’t to be too hard on yourself. We’ve all done that. A few in the pub then we have the taste for it and want to carry on at home. I didn’t have an off switch sometimes.

At least next time you will be able to recognize the danger situation and do things a little differently x

@Bigbus , that is exactly like something I would do. Empty stomach, seed planted somewhere floating around my grey matter, definitely.
It's hard work having to be aware of it all the time isn't it.
Just keep trying - at least moderation will probably happen for the birthday celebrations.

I had a thought yesterday that I'd drink today because the tennis is on all day. I had to stop and remind myself that I do not need to drink because tennis is on and I'm doing rather well without it, thanks. 🤣

Wow - 3 kg @Touty ! Amazing - well done! Glad you're starting to feel a bit better.

@Bigbus I agree, don't be hard on yourself. I wouldn't be able to guess how many mornings I've had similar regret. Sounds like you're already channelling the feeling in a positive way towards avoiding a bigger excess next weekend.

I remained AF last night so now I'm in counting days territory, and I am very relieved to have finally made it here. My ultimate plan has always been to avoid drinking at home and when out avoid having so much I have a hangover the next day - so I will go back to that.

It is really helping having an additional but complementary focus.

Thanks guys. This is where the danger starts. After two cans of Diet Coke, two nurofen and some cheese on toast I feel ok, then I tell myself it’s ok to have another drink this evening because actually I feel ok. But I know that I feel better without it. I’m taking two teenagers to a little gig tonight and I’ll probably volunteer at the venue while they watch the music so that should keep me on the straight and narrow.

enjoy the tennis @Amdone123 !

Also well done @Coppergate4 for your AF run - how are you feeling?

@Touty how are you feeling today?

Thanks @Bigbus ! I'm feeling good I think. I was worried that my summer of change wasn't going to happen but I now feel motivated and calm about it. I didn't have an afternoon nap today (unlike Mon-Wed!) so feeling better for that too. I like that I have a relaxed plan for the summer regarding food too (basically sugar revolution hacks + ZOE principles, so NO calorie counting or super restriction!) which feels really doable.
I'm going to clean the book shelves my academic books are on now and make myself get rid of at least one (don't read any of them but still kid myself I might properly study with them one day...). It will definitely feel better than a glass of wine!

@Coppergate4 , that's the spirit ! No pun intended. I hate throwing books out - it physically hurts 😩
Hope everyone is OK ?
I really wanted some wine today. I needed the shop this evening so nipped there, but bought orangeade and a family sized bar of chocolate. Not great for my healthy eating plan, but better than wine.
I weighed myself this morning and it's coming off, as I knew it would.

Congrats on the weight loss @Amdone123 and the shop self control!
Book shelves are clean but not any lighter…I’ll just have to read them all!

What a difference a day makes. I really need to hold in my head what a bad night I had on Wednesday - no sleep, so horrible and sweaty - compared to last night/this morning. What is it about the wine monster that makes me think it’s a good idea to keep
going!

So true @Bigbus - I've never decided that the poor sleep and hangover were worth it the day after drinking too much. Never, in all those years! Hopefully we're at/getting at the point where we get this to the extent that we can over-ride the wine monster mid-flow!

I seem to be on a roll now with 3 days AF. My mid year mini wall planner starts soon (Tue 1st Aug) where the plan is use a small coloured sticker to indicate my alcohol consumption each day (and write in my [excess] weight on the days I WI). I am looking forward to recording like this rather than counting.

Hi all, I've had a terrible few days with my son it's been very tough emotionally and physically but I'm hoping to use my time wisely and help him and us. Honestly thought I was going to throw in the towel yesterday but I didn't and went and bought cigs instead I know it's not great but it's way way better than the poison in my opinion for me anyway. I can't undo all my hard work and giving up smokes can wait until I'm comfortable without the booze which I have been for 7 plus weeks now!
@Coppergate4 well done for the AF streak whoohooo you should be very proud of yourself! And the mid year planner sounds so amazing for both weight and alcohol consumption. I need to do this too. I ended up writing a long email to myself about my thoughts and feelings and stresses, it helped! I've always loved writing.
@Bigbus the fact that you realise all this is amazing otherwise you would just not think of all that when you got better as such and then the vicious cycle starts again it's breaking that cycle that really helps and you have done it!
Sorry I haven't caught up on all the latest posts but I hope all is well for everyone @Needtokickthehabit @Amdone123 @ERN79 @Manyrivers @OhShitImNearly40 @Starlia @Touty and @Easterdaffsx how's the wedding planning when is the big day?? And sorry whoever I've missed out x

@Determineddoris Don't worry about the cigarettes, you're doing so well keeping it all together. Sending you more strength. Hope it all gets better, soon.
Yes, I don't think I ever woke up with a hangover and said it was worth it. Or if I did, I was kidding myself. Which I'm quite good at doing.
@Coppergate4 , you're doing really well to get these af days done. Keep going, and trying.

Actually, day 5 here. I'm ok really. Just took granddaughter to the shop and easily could have picked up wine, but I no longer do that just because it's Friday.
I've got a houseful and they're giving me headache so I've just sent them all out to play.
I can watch tennis when they've all gone, but no wine - sparkling water !!