On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

Just checking in with everyone. Hope you are all doing well, from the posts I've seen sounds like your all still determined and progressing greatly, so proud of you all. Coming back on here reading your stories has given me a little lift.

I've fallen down a bit the last few weeks, not just with drinking, but with mood and lifestyle choices in general, I haven't been sticking to my healthy habits! Today I'm using my free time to try and do a little reset and focus my mind back to my goals. One positive I will say is that I have moderated way better than before I joined this group, so that's something at least.

Have lovely Sunday everyone

@Amdone123 thank you for your kind words although today was actually a hard day for me at work like @Touty I didn't see any beers in the fridge but was so stressed with work and my mum I came home and said to husband this is so horrible that normally I'd drink to deal with everything and I can't even bloody have that and felt sad.

@Determineddoris , well, you're allowed to feel sad. You've got a lot going on. I wonder if drinking would make you feel better, though.
I do understand, it's like that Why Can't I Be Normal screaming voice inside your head. You're doing so well.
I remember when I did my month away and was actually doing quite well not drinking, not going mad anyway. One day I woke and really missed the dog, so I got hammered. I still missed him the next day, just with a hangover.
@Touty , well done for leaving the beers. Hope you're feeling ok.
Strangely, beers wouldn't bother me - I can drink it to my heart's content and feel nothing.

I've just been for a meal, had 1 glass of wine - the wine wasn't very good so thankfully no trigger. I'm having a beer now watching tennis but only because it was there.

Thanks @Amdone123 and you are right I am allowed to feel grumpy and sad in life , thankful for you and this board. Well done on the one glass and beer! Really good going considering you would have been happy to have the whole bottle at one point (but as you said it wasn't nice but every cloud and that)
Going back to @Coppergate4 I think said about the I won't drink rather than I hope not etc when I first went sober this time around there was a guy on insta and I was drawn to him and his posting and positive vibes and I had written I hope I can do this and I can but try and he was like nooooooo say to yourself you CAN do this and YOU WILL DO IT amd I changed my mindset from those words and hey here I am 5 nearly 6 weeks in no boozing. So yes mindset has loads to do with it. And you are right again@Amdone123 I definitely would not feel better with it inside me twirling around making me feel nice for a split second and then regrets etc later on. No tomorrow I'm going to attempt to run early before kids are up hehe let's see and then see my mum and get shit done before kids break up for holidays as I am working the rest of the week!!!

Evening all, another AF day. Today was hard, it was so hot and humid, I really wanted one of those cold lagers. I felt miserable this evening, thinking how nice a drink would be. But I watched a program tonight on alcoholism and decided I value my liver too much to go back to drinking how I used to.

I had cups of tea instead.

Oh my days please can I join?
I get married in less than 3 weeks and drinking has escalated.
We have **loads going on and no idea how we are going to juggle .
In the meantime I'm drinking too much and my complexion etc is awful .
Should I just go AF this week amd see how I go ?
You all seem to be doing so well amd support is the best x

@Touty , well done on showing tremendous willpower and determination. Your liver is lucky to have you !
@Easterdaffsx , hi ! I can understand why your drinking may have escalated with all the wedding planning. I would be like that. Unless I had a plan and that's what you need !

If I were you, I'd count exactly how many days you've got.
Is it 20 or less ? Get a journal and write down your reasons for not drinking on those days ( in 20 days, you'll lose some weight, your complexion will most definitely improve, you'll feel so much happier and more positive. I know this because I've done it).
Yes, you'll have things to do for the wedding but you can get them done without drinking.
Hey, we'll help you. I've got nothing on now til September so I can help you daily. I know others on here will too.
Make that change today. You don't want to carry on drinking, etc - it'll make you miserable.
You can do it. ❤️

Hi @Touty you are doing really well. Honestly simply amazing your willpower and determination is great!
I do feel the miserable stuff but that in time for me gets better and you do feel much more positive but you will also have days you are allowed to feel low. We are only human!
@Easterdaffsx you are very welcome here! Wedding stress is unbelievable and it's good you are making plans to moderate! All the advice @Amdone123 has given is spot on! X

Amdone123 thank you so so much . I cannot tell you how much you have have motivated me to do this this morning .
I did the Annie Grace 30 days and felt all the things you said so I know what you're saying is true. .
I think now it's just doing that first day.
We are both working 60+ hours a week with deadlines to meet prior to the wedding and that's not helped . They can't be pushed back either as both are required legally .
On top of that I dyed my hair green accidentally this weekend ( it's very long amd blonde )
Both my eldest have exam results this week and both in medical school so hugely expensive if they have to repeat a year . They are so worried amd I'm trying to distract them. .
Youngest dd has ASD and I feel I'm totally neglecting her and I am .
Stopping the drink is what I need but it's been what I've turned too every singe day for weeks now .
I'm actually scared of this evening .
Think I'll aim to drink lots of water, work on my report and go to sleep as early as possible because we're all exhausted!
Thank you determined as well .
This forum reads like a good place to be and thank you .

@Easterdaffsx , wow, that is a lot to have on.
One day at a time, then.
When you think you need a drink, reach for something else - anything, or do something from your ( long) list !
Yes, the first day is the hardest.
Check in tomorrow morning and let's see how you're getting on ( or before if you need).

Well, I’m feeling better today about being without booze, not feeling so deprived.

But I’m feeling down about my weight and confused why it isn’t dropping off me, considering I must have been drinking easily at least 400 calories per day in booze. I haven’t replaced the alcohol with anything, I just drink diet tonic so no calories in that.

Today I went to the pharmacy and weighed myself and did my body fat etc and nothing has changed.

sorry I know this isn’t a weight loss thread. Before I would have cheered myself up with booze, but can’t do that now.

Hey @Touty hope you are ok. And we talk about weight too here because let's face it we all want to lose weight! I also thought weight would drop off and it did (last time this time it's coming off but very slowly )but only a few months in plus exercise! Do you do any? I know we were drinking liquid calories but sometimes our bodies just need a bit more time! You say you have noticed the other benefits right like nicer skin etc is your sleep deeper? I sleep with my Fitbit thing and it's shown me I sleep deeper and longer AF!
I am feeling super tired and crappy but I'm going to try and be positive today!

Day 1 done ✅
I felt fine until time to sleep amd then literally my head was buzzing and I think I actually felt sick at one point. .
Feel rough this morning having only had about 4 hours sleep amd a major court report to produce .
Anything I can do apart from drink copious amounts of tea all day please x

@Easterdaffsx , well done.
Enjoy your tea - I'm sure you'll sleep better tonight.

I am failing on a miserable scale. Miserable one. I need a slap to the head.

Me too @Needtokickthehabit
But it's a journey and not everyday will be successful, as long as we keep trying I think! My husband went away with work yesterday and I bought a bottle of wine.. hoping today will be better!

Yeah my dp works away and I find Sunday and Mondays to be the worst for some reason as I work from home and justify the drinking as he cant see me but the kids can. I drank 12 beers yesterday, cans not bottles. Then I opened the wine but thankfully went to go to the bathroom and miraculously forgot the wine and went to bed. I came down though this morning and it was there so here I am on my second glass. Its 11.30am.

@Easterdaffsx well done on day 1! It happens with first few days you can't sleep but then eventually you will get deeper sleep! Drink your tea , coffee , ginger ale , sparkling water anything to give you that lift!
@Needtokickthehabit you must have been tired too hence you didn't drink the wine last night. It is hard to stop, so so hard. Maybe finish the glass and put the bottle away somewhere that's really difficult for you to get to or better still down the sink x

@Determineddoris yes, I do a fair bit of walking with my job but it’s probably not intensive enough. I’ve watched a lot YouTube fins on older women who have taken up weight training to change their body shape - this seems to work.

today I managed to find a bottle of zero wine, was pleasantly surprised by the taste but it’s 12 grams of carbs in just one glass.

So I read your post a few times and put the cork back in the bottle and went on about my day. I was so tempted to go and buy another 'just to have' in the house but I busied myself with other things and then last night at the witching hour I decided to have a long hot bath, read some of my book and then put on every lotion and potion known to man with a pair of pjs and only then did I reopen the wine. I did drink the other half of that bottle but had I not posted in here I would have drank the first one by lunchtime and gone out for another. Small win. I feel good today I have to say. Well, I am sure I could feel better but better than I have the past few days. I need to keep busy, that is my issue I think. Thank you for the suppport x

@Needtokickthehabit well done on putting the cork back in the bottle. That’s an amazing achievement. It’s something most do us have struggled with, once we’ve started it’s hard to stop. I hope you have a good day today.

It took a LOT of strength I can tell you. A LOT. But I did it which means I can do it and that is something to motivate me.

Have a good day yourself :)

Morning all, @Needtokickthehabit I don't even know you but your post made me super smiley that you re read and put the cork back in honestly thats a huge achievement as back few weeks ago I would not have taken my own advice! WELL DONE for recognising things and changing them up-you can do this!!

@Determineddoris My job is quite active, so I should be burning plenty of calories, but it’s probably not enough intensive exercise.

I did lose a lot of weight years ago by doing 20 minute HIT training 4 times a week, but that’s pre menopause, now it’s a lot more difficult. I think I will go back to the HIT exercises.

I find that I have more energy in the mornings and more get up and go without the booze.