On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

@Bigbus , thanks. Yes, I'm feeling good today. Nothing to worry about, like after my usual jaunts.
I understand the relative being more isolated. I think we have to find other things to do to get us out. I'm quite introverted with the odd dose of cabin fever.
@Manyrivers , thanks to you, too.
I think tonight stock up on some af drinks, do some self care in preparation for tomorrow, housework so it's all done.
Post here, we'll distract you.
@Determineddoris , aw, thanks. Hope your blood tests go OK. I can sometimes feel a bit flat. But I'd rather feel flat than the way I was feeling. It's only a temporary feeling really. Sometimes I just get my trainers on and walk for an hour or 2 !
It's a different kind of escapism.

Hi @Bigbus thanks so much for the support and everyone really. Yes so I haven't actually been out in the evening for 4 weeks then. I did go to eat at a local pub near school before pick up last week but my friend didn't drink and didn't want to but normally she would be the one getting a coffee and food and I'll be on the prosecco! She's really supportive and says she has tapered her drinking a lot and she thinks her husband finds her boring but I'm like good for you! I do think the older we've got it does take its toll in a different way and throw in the peri meno or meno and you are done for!
So glad you had a nice birthday @Amdone123 makes all the difference esp that you had the wine witch on your shoulder ! You have done amazing.
@Manyrivers that's ok that you will not drink tonight and the confidence I can see through your words. Self talk in the mirror etc all brilliant slap on a face mask too 😀 and good luck for tomorrow x

Hello all! @Determineddoris the event was brilliant. I drank a bottle of wine, not a sip more. I really do moderate more when with DP which is good cos I cannot seem to moderate myself when at home. He loves his wine too don't get me wrong but it would be rare he would ever go over a bottle and if he did it would be one beer whereby if I was home alone, drank a bottle and there was a 6 pack in the fridge they would all be gone.

Excellent @Needtokickthehabit with the moderation that's good news and it's you who's in control not the booze! I was a lone drinker a lot in separate rooms sometimes just didn't make sense as we never 'enjoyed' it together!

@Needtokickthehabit , that's great, well done !

Hello, can I join in please.

I’ve not had a drink for 7 days now. I used to drink a bottle of vodka a week. The last time I went this long without a drink must be a few years ago.

today after work I had an alcohol free lager. Felt pleased with myself.

Hi everyone,

I haven’t had a great week on the alcohol front, but I have been moderating with cider instead of drinking wine so a teen tiny win.

I have a few social events coming up that revolve around drinking - nights out with friends. I feel quite sick with all the mental energy it’s taking to plan what I’m going to do, if that makes sense. I really don’t want to get drunk and yet I know there will be pressure to do so 😔they’re not bad people, just used to having big nights out.
sick of thinking about it honestly!

Hi @Touty of course you are very welcome well done on your 7 days amazing ! I just couldn't get on that treadmill as @Amdone123 says but I finally hauled my fat bum onto it and I haven't looked back since ! What are your plans for the next few days ? Not drink at all? My H is now used to me not drinking at weekends he said yesterday now go away I want to open wine lol but he was thinking about it since 4pm but he couldnt as he was driving my son somewhere until they got back at 7! So all that mental thinking about drinking @Starlia is gone but I completely feel you. It's not like you can say no to work events just because you don't want to drink? Or can you? I have it easier in that sense that I can say nah not going out for the past four weeks but I know long term that won't be sustainable just to be a recluse. There was a blog by someone's years ago I started following her name was Belle and if was tired of thinking of drinking. And I thought yep that's me! She was quite useful at the start but then she started selling paintings and the daily emails were promoting the paintings more but if just wasn't for me in the end. I was fairly stressed about my tennis day coming up as it's same day at school strikes and I was worried about drinking etc but now I'm cool and I don't know who said about putting obstacles in place so you physically can't drink like drive is brilliant as that's what I'm going to do!
Hope everyone else has had a nice evening last night and have a sunny AF/Moderating weekend !

And well done on just the cider and not the wine it's the wine that's the killer @Starlia ! So yes a big win not tiny x

@Touty , hi and well done on 7 days, that's really good. Yes, what are your plans ? Are you abstaining for a while ? Let us know, and we can help you. It's good to be accountable here.

@Determineddoris , you are on fire 🔥. I think it's brilliant that you still resist when your dh is drinking.
But, if we really want to do this, you have to find that inner strength from somewhere, and you've definitely found yours.

@Starlia , I think that's a win with the cider, too. I wish I could drink cider 🤣. You may wonder why I can't.....I always have plans to just have lager or cider, then when I get to the bar, the words 'wine, please,' just fall out of me. I have no idea why it happens - habit, I suppose. It's all about retraining yourself.
It didn't happen overnight, it's not going to go away overnight.

So, 1st July and I'm hoping to moderate on just 2 days ( today - birthday meal with family and grandaughter, and next week, wedding anniversary). The rest, abstain.

I've been ok overall. Day 9, and like I said , a good month June ; great for me, honestly.
A bit wobbly at times and yes @Determineddoris , I'm in danger of becoming a recluse.
Wimbledon Monday and I've always been a recluse during that, so no change there. And at least I know now I don't need wine to watch matches, so that's some retraining that's gone on there.
Hey, @Manyrivers , how did you get on last night ?

Hope everyone else is OK......@Bigbus @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @bookworm44 @indieray @texy @turnaroundtouchtheground - usual apologies if I've missed anyone !

@Touty welcome and well done on day 7! @starlia I definitely get that about being fed up of thinking about it. I sort of miss the days when I used to look forward to a drink if that makes sense? I‘m going to a quiz night tonight with people I’ve always traditionally got drunk with and I’m doing the bar so that will be a challenge.

@Determineddoris I’m also going to the tennis but luckily not a school strike day. Im
really looking forward to it. I do plan to have a drink or two but I’ll be with DH who is the king of moderation and I definitely won’t drink any Pimms!!! It’s evil.

@Amdone123 i hope you enjoy your birthday meal today.

Thank you all for the warm welcome 🤗

So, I’m planning to abstain for another week. I watched something last night where a Dr said that 2 weeks could detox the liver from alcohol.

After that I don’t know - I don’t want to get back to drinking a bottle of vodka a week - I guess that’s 40 units of alcohol?!

I used to drink wine but switched to vodka thinking it was lower in calories and sugar and thus was better for me 😏

i suppose I really need to cut down my consumption by at least half to bring it within safe levels.

Very quick drop in for me - uncharacteristically over-scheduled this week (12 hr work days/and then out on big day trips on days off). The good news is that this has completely or almost completely stopped me drinking by default. Got a day at home tomorrow so will catch up then and answer the question about ZOE (as best I can anyway).
Hope you all have a great Saturday!

Welcome @Touty you’re in the right place for support and guidance. We are all in different stages of the journey and we are definitely not perfect so I find the honesty refreshing 😊
Well tonight I had my first social event where everyone gets pretty drunk. I moderated with cider and had two glasses of wine toward the end. I’m not drunk and will wake up tomorrow feeling ok so I will count that as a win.
My goal is to get to a place where going to events sober is a thing. I did notice tonight that I was much more sober than usual and had a really good time so it is possible. Just wish the lure of alcohol wasn’t so strong! I’m sure you all know what I mean.
Thanks for your kind words @Determineddoris and @Amdone123. How is everyone else doing? @Bigbus @Coppergate4 @Flishflashfresh @Manyrivers @MsHybridFanGirl @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @texy and everyone else?

Sorry @Bigbus I missed your post. How did you go with your quiz night? I did find doing my event at least sort of sober easier than I imagined.

Well, strange day for me.
I had 2 x 20cl prosecco, so just over half a bottle. And I only had that because it came as part of a gift box.
It's given me a dreadful headache so I'm now drinking tea.

@Starlia , it's definitely possible to have a good time sober. I'm beginning to wonder if I prefer it. Well done for moderating.

Hi @Amdone123 you've done quite well then haven't you I'm glad you were able to stop and sorry about your headache! I've been out most of the day and clocked up 20k steps whoohoo but then had a massive almond magnum haha yes about the inner strength and I'm trying to bite my tongue and not say bitchy things to my H when he's drinking like right now grrrr poor thing not his fault but when I'm tired and frustrated and nothing has been done in the house and he's sat there all day playing games it hits a nerve! But now he's putting some dinner on so my silent seething did work and my loud seething ah feck noone is perfect !
@Bigbus oh cool about Wimbledon! I hope it won't rain and we see some good UN's. Managed to sort childcare so my poor mum will have eldest all day oh well it's only one day! And then I will drive and be chauffeur picking them up from different places on the way home! Agree Pimm's is evil..
@Touty great plan about another week you know you can do this ! Maybe if you feel better and sleep is better you can carry on....as yes 40 units a week is pretty high so yes half is brilliant but I hear you about less sugar and cals but more ABV%!
@Coppergate4 well done for being so busy that you haven't even had time to drink!!!
@Starlia great news another big win on the moderation you are doing really well!
I'm trying and it's hard but I'm getting there....on day don't know but I know I just can't drink again

@Determineddoris thank you, yes I went on a low carb diet, so out with the wine and in came the vodka 🫣

I had another win today, I went ti a bar and had a zero alcohol lager.

yes i definitely don’t want to go back to 40 units a week, I had the usual excuses, bored, sad, habit, husband working long hours etc

@Touty going off subject but did you do keto or just low carb/sugars which is keto I guess but without high fat! My H did it for ages and lost so much weight suddenly and then he maintained it somehow and still eats some crap time to time? I tried it and it didn't work for me and also I need to stop carbs because I'm pre diabetic! I've had another blood test just now so let's see what the results say will be interesting giving up alcohol past 4 weeks to see if my sugars have gone down?
Sorry off on a tangent there well done for an AF lager at an actual bar!!!! I'm impressed as I haven't been able to set foot in a bar or pub (only once at lunch time and I had coke which then made me bloated go figure ) since I stopped drinking so you definitely have that inner strength!!!

Good morning everyone.

@Starlia thanks for asking, the quiz was last night. I was doing the bar. I avoided my usual error of having a glass of wine before going out which always leads to my downfall. I did drink some wine - perhaps one more glass than I really wanted to but bearing in mind that these are people I usually get hammered with I think I did ok. Most importantly I did not continue when I got home even though there is an open bottle of wine on the side. There is always alcohol in my house.

How did your social event go @Starlia ? I find social events by far the hardest of all the things to moderate at.

@Amdone123 well done with your moderating and for not falling into the trap of thinking you need to carry on drinking to fix the headache - I’ve done that before! It’s a short term fix 🤕!

I hope all the newbies are doing ok. Weekends can be the hardest. Remember there’s no need to throw in the towel after a bad day. It’s a learning curve.

@Determineddoris i hope the blood test results are good. It will be really interesting to see what the effect of 4 weeks AF has had.

@Touty , that's great. Well done for having an af beer. You can do it ! Sounds bad this but I wish I could drink vodka ( I like the idea of vodka, lime and soda), but I can't drink it. Same with gin n tonic. I say I will when I'm going out but always end up with wine.
@Bigbus , that's great that you didn't carry on when you got home. And you have it in the house. I could never do that.
@Determineddoris , I, too, think it will be interesting to see how 4 weeks af will affect your blood test results. ( only share if you want 🤣).

Lovely day here. I'm going to zumba then my granddaughter's summer fayre.

We haven't been out together for ages.
Today could be a day I'm tempted actually - I'll have to bear that in mind. I'll take a couple of bottles of sparkling water.

Day 10 today as I'm not counting yesterday ( half a bottle) as I didn't carry on !
Have a lovely Sunday, folks !

Hi Everyone and welcome @Touty

@Amdone123 Yesterday went fine for me, I didnt get drunk but I I did carry on and have 2 more on my own when everyone left. I have woken with cough, sore throat etc that's been hanging around all week, I am not feeling great today with that.

What I do feel good about is breaking my recent cycle of alcohol every night. None for tonight and then aiming for an AF week ahead.

Have a good day everyone

Well done @Manyrivers for not getting drunk - I actually do like that drink after everyone has gone when it’s all peaceful and you can have some time to
yourself. The only problem is that in the past I might have felt like I had to finish the bottle so it’s great that you could have a few then stop when you wanted to.

@Bigbus well done on the quiz night especially as you were manning the bar! And you thought about it before hand about that glass before you go out , I used to have nearly a bottle before I went out and all my normal friends obvs hadn't done that so I was always one bottle up getting more and more pissed! Noone noticed tho....it's the masking too that I do, or used to do!
@Amdone123 thanks for the luck for blood tests I'll definitely share!
@Manyrivers glad you had a good time and I would be the same of a peaceful drink by myself so you have done different and well to before right? Everyone is doing so great and even if you aren't or don't feel you are not we are always here for you! Don't think you can't post because you have drank etc we are non judgy!