On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Shiny new thread!

Thank you to @Amdone123 for the last few, she's been around longer than me and always so supportive and kind, thank you!

Tagging people I can from the last thread but please tag any others please!

@texy @Manyrivers @Bigbus @JulieHoney @Mj20 @Starlia

Sorry that was supposed to tag @OhShitImNearly40 !
But hope you are ok @Needtokickthehabit ?

I was wondering if you confused two beers with two years lol

I am ok. The two beers was actually 4 which means 4 left however in previous days the whole 8 would have been gone so that is something. I am off now to work and wont get home till 10.15 tonight so might be too tired to drink the other 4 but we shall see. I have a night away tomorrow night with dp so we shall see how that goes.

@Needtokickthehabit well done on your reduction and moderation, I know what an achievement it is to be able to stop when more is available. You did great not making 4 roll on to 6 or 8.

I'm not enjoying work this week which is always a trigger for me to drink in the evenings. I'm not going to tonight. I've made myself a cup of tea and planning a walk later.. oh and will scroll through the job websites as you do when your hacked off with your job, or is that just me?

@Needtokickthehabit echoing @Manyrivers that's really good at reduction you are doing brill!
@Manyrivers sorry your work is shite this week, used to be trigger too so well done for reaching for the tea and not the vino. No I also look for jobs all of the time when I'm annoyed which is most of the time!!! I need a total career change though which means re training and I am too old and broke to do this lol
How's everyone else today ?

@Manyrivers , well done for choosing tea !
The problem with drinking when we're fed up is that it doesn't solve anything. Problems are still there in the morning. Along with a banging head.
( Hope that didn't sound patronising - it did a bit to me !).

Well, my birthday tomorrow and presents have been dropped off over past few days.
No bottle bags - yay 🤣.

@Determineddoris , hope you're ok and still going strong. You're doing so well.

@Amdone123 you never sound patronising! Good news about no bottle bags what are your plans tomorrow did you decide ? Will you go to the Turkish restaurant? Thank you for your kind words and support. I am doing well and am feeling better all around for it.

@Determineddoris , that's brilliant, I feel good, too.
Tomorrow I'm going to the gym, then the supermarket then just home.

My sister does want to go out but I know we'd just sit in Wetherspoons ( nowhere else where I live), I'd drink 1 bottle, then 2, I'd forget to eat, I'd come home, possibly carry on, smoke, text shite, and Friday feel awful.

Dh and I weren't going out, no - we were ordering in. We'll just do that.

I have had the wine witch telling me it would be ok to drink. I know it would, I'm an adult and all that, but I just don't want to. I thought I might have a beer with my tea, but I'd rather have a Pepsi max.
I'm feeling pretty determined.

It's possible I may receive wine tomorrow from some friends ( I couldn't message and say, Hi, it's my birthday on Thursday - don't buy me wine 🤣. Bit presumptuous!).
I'm just going to ask my ds to take it and store it at his house - or give to his gf. That's fine too !

@Amdone123 sounds like a great plan! I hope you enjoy your day tomorrow and yes you are so determined!
Hope everyone else is ok this evening xxx

I drunk 4 cans of White Lightning.

life shit. Ex wife that continues to fuck me over. I’m on Ad’s, on the waiting list for therapy and don’t know what else I can do. She did something shit today, combined with the thing she’s been doing for the past couple of weeks and I couldn’t take it.

Funnily (??????) enough a few of my kids are as happy as they’ve ever been! They’ve both been well looked after. Could I have been the same way with them without the booze? Not sure. My abuse ex triggers me so much I might’ve been in a pile of tears. No, prob would’ve been better than that, not sure.

I know it’s the wrong thing to do. I know it doesn’t help. But I’ve got through another day.

Me and my gf have promised ourselves a final blow out tomorrow eve (obvs without the kids) and then that’s it.

Morning Everyone,

Not great results to report this morning. After my initial cup of tea last night I made a dash to the shop. 2 glasses of wine (bought single serve bottles again), and a 500ml bottle of cider .

My rock and boat analogy comes to mind this morning and I need to get back in the right head space. I didn't excerise yesterday and needless to say I'm feeling pretty rubbish today.

@Determineddoris @Amdone123 your inspiring me to keep pushing on and to get past this phase.

Hi @Needtokickthehabit so sorry you are in turmoil and pain at the moment about your ex. You are doing all the right things regarding getting help, therapy will help but it seems like there are long waiting lists for this both NHS and private! It's good you and your gf have a plan of action and I hope you will be on the right mindset thereafter.
@Manyrivers I have done that loads of times start with a soft drink, have a f it moment and off I go but then I'd pre plan it because I can't leave the kids so that's worse you went on a whim and it's ok seriously it's ok. As for exercise I've been crying about how I've put on weight but that's because I eat two bags of crisps every night but again it's better than drinking for me at this moment in time! Be kind to yourself today and get back into the exercise when you feel it's right. Don't over think it.

Happy birthday to @Amdone123 !!! Have an awesome day!!!

@Determineddoris , thanks !

@Determineddoris wrong tag again lol

So I did drink the 4 beers last night. Got home late so kids with my ex last night and decided fuck it shower, couple beers and bed early. Now I woke at 3.30am which seems to be a witching hour for me and tossed and turned the rest of the night but that could be anything from the one thing in my life that is annoying me and playing on my mind to peri to the tablets im on so not necessarily the beer.

Tonight I am at a function with DP. It won't be a late one, it is a professional type thing so I have no choice but to monitor what I drink but I could well drink a full bottle of wine over the course of the evening. That said I will not see DP again now till next weekend for varying reasons and he does not know half of what happens when he is not here so my day one again to taper will be tomorrow. Bottle Friday, half bottle sat, quarter Sunday and I am just hoping I stick to it. If I cant then I may need to talk to someone professional but we shall see.

@Manyrivers , it's hard to not escape / drink when work is rubbish though. Get yourself through today, then keep trying. I know you can do it because you've done so well before.
@Needtokickthehabit , I was contemplating professional help not long ago. I was going to see my gp about antabuse. Even though I'm doing OK at the moment, it's something I might still do.

Sorry all I have no idea how I managed to post the above in this thread, it was meant for another. Ignore - I have reported my own post!

@Amdone123 I hvae just googled that. Sounds scary.

@Needtokickthehabit , it does, I agree.

But for me, I've found that I can be af but then habit or sometimes just not thinking, means I drink. I don't crave it. I just do it. I don't want to, it gives me nothing, but I'll still drink, usually for the sake of it. I don't even enjoy it anymore.

I had the wine witch on my shoulder about 30 mins ago. It's not easy, it's not going to be, but this morning, I caught a glimpse of myself and everything about me looks and feels better.

If you drink when taking antabuse, you're very sick ( I believe, I need to do more research), so it literally takes drinking off the table. No more mental gymnastics.

Wtf is wrong with me @Needtokickthehabit I'm so so sorry to keep tagging you wrongly hope I haven't annoyed you! I like your plan tbh of the tapering and it all seems quite organised and not too much if that makes sense. Have a good time.if you can at the event with your DP! I talked tona counsellor at one stage of my journey some years ago which really helped. I also googled Antabuse but I have managed to do it without and I believe so can you! And we are all here to support you. Sorry again about the wrong name tag 😕

Don't worry about it! It doesn't bother me at all!

Morning, all !

Well, had a lovely af birthday. Did everything I'd planned ( bar the Turkish meal - Eid ! ).
Had a wobble Tuesday evening more doubting myself, and walking home from the gym, thought about buying it.
Until I remembered that last time, I didn't even enjoy it.
And that I was just associating Celebration with alcohol.

So, day 8, but overall in June, I've had about 25 af days, which I'm really pleased with.

I'm hoping for better in July.
It's our 30th wedding anniversary soon and we're having a restaurant celebration with family and friends. To be honest, I do see myself having a couple of glasses of champagne. I don't see myself getting drunk, though.
Anyway, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

P.s - I have seen this before and if I'm honest, it used to bug me but.....I'll say it anyway....If I can go af on a special occasion, anyone can.
Up until recently, my whole life was planned around drinking - it was probably one of the first things I thought about when I woke.
It's not easy but I'm so enjoying the benefits, it's worth it.

Aw @Amdone123 I'm so proud of you! You had an AF birthday !!!!! That's my goal (have to wait until December!) Honestly you have come so far it's amazing. And yeah cross that other celebration (30 years wow! I'm on 13 this year )when you come to it.. I'm glad you had a good bday and the gym sessions are inspiring me to join but I can't until September when kids are back in school really! But I'm doing random classes here and there. I forgot it was Eid yesterday too (forget they have two).
I'm coming up to my 4th AF weekend and am feeling ok but really meh at times I've been so so busy recently with work and family and health and doctors etc I haven't had time to sit and be bored and think right I'm going to drink. It's Friday so DH will open his wine I might find it tough so I'll retreat upstairs and watch Netflix (I have a tonne of admin and cleaning to do but I won't bother at that point but also it is good to do!) Been feeling so so tired and wierd after meals so getting bloods checked today! Have a good day everyone ! How's everyone doing ? @OhShitImNearly40 @Needtokickthehabit how was the event ? @Manyrivers @Bigbus @Coppergate4 @Starlia

Well done @Amdone123 - it sounds like a lovely birthday. I bet you’ve had the best day after birthday ever!

@Determineddoris you’re doing so well! I was speaking to a relative yesterday and she has been AF for 7 years! She feels so much better for it. The only thing is that she’s been much more isolative since she quit - I guess maybe she’s just naturally an introvert but used to use alcohol to get out of her shell. Anyway, she’s happier this way.

@Amdone123 Lovely to hear your birthday went well. 25 days! So amazing and probably the best birthday gift you can give to yourself, I'm so proud of you.

I'm forcing myself to post her for accountability. A bottle of wine last night and a binge on snacks. It's square one! I'm hosting a BBQ at the weekend so I know Saturday I will drink but I'm confident it will be moderately. My focus has to be on tonight, I will not drink tonight. I need to do a bit of a look in the mirror and self talk, no excuses.