AF for two weeks - it’s amazing!

[Teacherteachernotapreacher]

Really wanted to get and post on here as never ever thought I’d do this. Have always been a big drinker and from a family of big drinkers. Realised two weeks ago that I was spending my week (as I don’t drink in the week) just waiting to drink. Then drinking and spending all weekend feeling rubbish and struggling through the days.
Haven’t bothered for two weeks and waking up without a hangover is a revelation.
we had family over last night and I was nervous about it just had non-alcoholic beer and had a great night. Slight hitch when asked why I wasn’t drinking wine they’d brought round and just said I felt rubbish so wasn’t keen. No issue.
I’m aiming for two more weeks at first but have a sneaky feeling it might stick. Worried about other nights out planned especially with new friends as I’ve always relied on drink to feel part of the crowd ans like I’m ‘in’ but also a bit excited to drive!
if I can do it, so can you!
I read the alcohol experiment last week and that was really helpful and I keep referring back to it at night.

Awesome work. Try reading This Naked Mind too. I did and am still not drinking 3.5 years later.

Good for you OP! I spent much of my teens, 20s and early 30s drinking too much. It's not that I drank every night but when I did I'd drink way too much. So many awful hangovers and feelings of remorse. I stopped all this when I became a mum and now can go for weeks without drinking. The less you have, the less you want! If I'm socialising I'll have a couple of glasses of wine but I stop at 2 and this might only be once a month.
Hangover free life is brilliant!

Waiting 30 mins sounds like a great strategy

one thing I am finding - we’ve lots of things coming up with it being summer. And I’m getting sad feelings about them. Eg sorting a weekend with my step mum and dad soon and messaging about it tonight. Going for a meal and drinks then walk home. Lovely idea I think. Then think, oh but I’ll spoil that by not drinking and be that rubbish person. And I won’t be celebrating and they’ll feel bad as I’m not celebrating

this is rubbish isn’t it? Do these sad feelings pass? I know I’ll still have a good time but will my dad not enjoy his birthday as much if I’m not drinking? Is that me not celebrating?! So much to unpick 😬

Why will you spoil it by not drinking? You will be drinking, just not drinking alcohol. You celebrate by being there, not by getting slaughtered.

Honestly, don't sweat it. Go, order an AF drink and enjoy it. Your relatives can still drink - you drinking something without alcohol in it won't spoil their night. You won't be that rubbish person. You'll be you, the same as always, but sober, so less boring/loud/aggressive/whatever you turn into after you've had a few.

That’s great, well done. 21 months in here and it never gets old. I believe it’s the best gift you can give yourself x

Summer is HARD at the start! I had almost a year under my belt before last summer. But - you can still celebrate! The more you work that sober muscle you lose the connections that you had with alcohol. I now don’t consider alcohol a think to celebrate with, commiserate with, socialise with, have meals with, relieve stress with…stick with it

"That rubbish person" is the person who judges others who are having a drink and gets all holier than thou about it. It doesn't sound like you will be like that. Never try to convert people and never tell someone they are drinking too much even if they are!
I have been to family events where 1 member made a show of themselves and embarrassed their kids it was not my place to say anything so I didn't. If I did I know the back lash I would have received.

Go, have fun, chat, if you are very nervous about people thinking you are not drinking ask for a coke/ 7-up or even a mocktail. People will assume it is alcoholic.

Your choice not to drink alcohol has absolutely no impact on anyone else.

Go, have fun, chat, if you are very nervous about people thinking you are not drinking ask for a coke/ 7-up or even a mocktail. People will assume it is alcoholic.

This is something I do - ask for soda water with ice and a wedge of lime in a gin glass. No calories, no alcohol and nobody can tell that it's not a G&T.

I managed 83 days and then had 3 cocktails out with friends but I felt amazing and know I can do it. I won’t be drinking an alcoholic at home, only out for special occasions and I’m ok with that. I sleep so much better when I don’t drink and my anxiety levels drop massively as well

I'm glad you're happy about it, and doing well.

But this:
if I can do it, so can you!
is really unhelpful. Since you were perfectly able to just "not bother" having a drink and it wasn't an issue for you, you really didn't have much of a problem with alcohol or not drinking. If you can just decide not to and then just not, as easily as that......
You doing it doesn't mean others can, so easily.

I don’t know about unhelpful. Depends on your perspective I guess.
I made it clear to start that I didn’t have a huge alcohol problem so I’m not trying to share with or empathise with people with a serious drinking problem. Just sharing my experience as someone who’s always drunk - sometimes a lot and sometimes not much like now.
I’m from a family of high functioning alcoholics and a massive drinking culture - so yes, I do believe if I can push against that others can 🤷‍♀️

Good ideas re other drinks thank you.
ive been that very drunk family member in the past so know what you mean. Haven’t for a while thankfully!

If I can do it so can you really used to boil my piss too. Primarily because I thought I couldn’t. Now it doesn’t bother me so much, although I don’t tend to say it myself. But equally just because something may be harder for some people than others doesn’t mean it’s still not doable. Human beings can do hard things.