The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

@rothbury so sorry, that's a terrible loss. Well done for staying strong.

@MumLass welcome! Very well done for taking the first step. My favourite quit lit book so far is The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley.

Up early as I was on another thread (with a different hat to confuse the stalker). I was really worried about the lady concerned as it mirrored what had happened to my friend with her exdh. I am a big softee and I invest too much.
I was thinking of @rothbury too and her lovely colleague. I flippantly typed chocolate and I hope you accept my apologies? I meant to say more but I had a house full of people. These things are always difficult. Someone passing so young is heartbreaking.

I am off out to lunch at my lady farmer's new abode. No idea if she kept her animals or has given up the muck as it were. She is a tricky character but not a boozer (it won't be offered). She is shockingly opinionated and forgets I am deaf in one ear. She barks at me. I go once a year! However I have new togs (linen trousers and seasalt top) which always make me feel better. I shall look a bit French.
Have a fab Friday mes aimies.

@WendyWagon no offence taken! I have eaten all the chocolate in my house and am not buying more as trying to lose weight. Funny thing, I am also deaf in one ear. I hate wearing my hearing aid though as then everything is way too loud.

TFI Friday!

Bon chance at the farm.

@rothbury, sorry to read your post. I know how you feel. In my case, it was a colleague who waited until mid 70s to retire because his wife was much younger, retired in lockdown, but had great plans for what he was going to do, then died in a freak accident three months later. Still our mums told us life wasn't going to be fair, didn't they?

Dang! Posted too soon.

Have a safe and sober weekend everyone, even if there is football involved.

Day 7 - I've been sober for a week!!! I'm a bit embarrassed that I'm so elated but it has been YEARS since I've managed this. A boozy friend wanted to meet up this weekend and I've arranged a morning walk in the sunshine instead of an evening get together - I'm pretty certain I'd be fine but why risk it.....

I hope everyone's doing well - thinking of you @rothbury and hoping you're ok as it sinks in.

Back from the lunch that wasn't. I got there eventually and she didn't answer the door/ had gone out. I had left my phone on the side and had no directions. I winged it and lost. However I avoidef the booze aisle and didn't even but any AF. I scoffed a Scotch egg.
Just going to have tea for the stress.

@SummerSilliness 👏👏👏 You’re right to be elated - everyone here knows how tough that first week is.

How frustrating @WendyWagon - enjoy your tea

@SummerSilliness well done.

Bad luck @WendyWagon , that sort of thing happens to me. At least you looked gorgeously Gallic in your "visit outfit".

Brilliant on the 7 days @SummerSilliness ! That's an absolutely fantastic achievement. It shouldn't be underestimated - it takes courage to get that far. 🏆

I have finally paid someone to clear my garden; they finished yesterday and it looks amazing. My tiny square no longer looks like the garden of someone who hasn't coped with life for 10 years or so, but clean, clear and beautiful. Money well spent. The dog is baffled (he's still only been with me for just under four months, though it seems so much longer) - he knows the garden is different - but he can't put his dewclaw on why... hehe 'twill make the pigeons easier to harass, however.

I also had to go into the office today to collect my new laptop (on which I am now writing after a 4-hour install process🙄), so I got the debit card dirty again, this time in Mountain Warehouse. I have bought myself some fabulous new walking boots. (I am not being a feckless spendthrift - this is all money saved from not drinking. TBH, I could out-shoe-shop Carrie Bradshaw with the money I've saved on booze - but Manolo Blahniks are somewhat ill-advised for Dartmoor, more's the pity).

Strength and love to all. xx

Especial hugs again to @rothbury. Your friend sounds lovely. How galling that her life had ended just when it was beginning again. Fate can be an utterly evil sometimes. It can make one so angry at the twisted unfairness of it. I'm so, so sorry. With love to you. xx

Morning campers. Well done @SummerSilliness first week ✅ it’s the hardest so I don’t recommend doing it again.

@WendyWagon i expect a full on French affair for our petit dejeuner this week.

@rothbury your colleague sounds lovely. I’m not remotely religious but sometimes you just have to go with Mother Nature (insert other relevant option) has to have a plan, because otherwise it just doesn’t make sense.

Enjoy the garden @REP22 Looks like a weekend of more sun here. Thankfully the dryness is keeping the weeds a bit under control so a bit of chicken cleaning, a music thang tonight, and a promised shopping trip with the youngest.

Morning mes belle aimies.
I am up after an excellent sleep. No hairy teeth or metalic breath. I love a sober Saturday, it is worth the abstinence. You can drive anywhere and do anything without feeling like crap.
I have a telephone interview this morning, big cheese stuff. As I am awaiting the 'Pat Butcher' haircut I am not going on camera. I shall wear something nice for confidence. I do have quite a nice voice (a bit Penelope Keith, but it works for the husband! Wink wink).
Other than that laundry and boxes!

Good luck with the interview @WendyWagon!

It’s a beautiful sunny day down here on south coast. I am meeting a friend tonight as we’re going to see a show. She’s the one who is having WLS next month and she’s already preparing for that, so zero drinking pressure.

Have a brilliant day everyone.

@rothbury thank you.
My wls on the NHS is another year! I shall press for the tablet and save them the bother.

Hi all, Well done to everyone for your achievements.

Hope you dont mind me asking this, you all seem really friendly and helpful and please just ignore me if you don't want to answer.

What can family do to help people realise they need to stop drinking? What helped you? My DF has started becoming dangerous from his drinking in the last few weeks.

Had a big fall and broke his nose requiring surgery. Had stern but sympathetic words with him.

One week after surgery, he drank 2 bottles of wine then wanted to drink drive to get a takeaway. DM told him he cant do that and he snuck out of his bedroom window to try to go. Thank god she saw him at the gate and stopped him. We were even more stern with him this week because really for me, the fact he is risking other innocent road users lives is the final straw for me. I was really angry on tuesday and told him he needs serious help. Siblings and DM have told him the same.

The thing is, hes now doing his usual of acting as if nothing has happened. He stropped off yesterday when asked if he had taken any steps because in his head he doesnt need to. He then said that me and DB are mad because DM has turned us against him. I told him it is HIS actions that have upset us but this makes me think hes in denial that he has done anything wrong at all.

I just dont know what to do or say really. We dont live in the UK so services are less available here.

Hi @Namechangefothis - the hard truth is there is absolutely nothing you can do or say to make your DF want to stop drinking- it has to come from in him. He is probably well aware it’s a problem but feels powerless to do anything about it.

It might be worth seeing if there is an equivalent of Al Anon where you are, and starting your own thread in Alcohol Support- there are sadly many people who will have been in your shoes. Good luck

@Namechangefothis I am sure you can access AA from anywhere. Your DF is in denial however side comments don't work. You need to be brutal when he is sober. It worked for me.
Could he be unwell and trying to block something out? Look up AA in your country. See what they do. Go with him if you like. Alcohol kills. Blunt but true.

Checking in folks, nearing day 4! Didn't think I'd manage to be honest. I'm finding it's easy to fill my time in other ways, which just shows how much time I wasted drinking, thinking about drinking, or recovering from drinking!

@WendyWagon hope the interview went well?
@Fortheloveofgodwhy snap with the chicken cleaning! My coop needs a good scrub out.
@REP22 your garden sounds lovely now. You picked the perfect spell of weather to get it sorted out and enjoy it.

My house is for sale so I spent yesterday evening cleaning and tidying inside and out - had a viewing this morning. If I had opened the wine I wouldn't have got it all done. Now I have a spotless house and garden to enjoy today and no chores to do! Kids are with their Dad and I'm enjoying the peace.

This time last week I was sobbing and had already had a wine because I was feeling overwhelmed and alone.

What a difference 7 days can make.

@MumLass well done good things come in threes.
Interview fine.
I get the washing on, dishwasher on and a spot of vacuumimg first thing and it frees me up for the day. I have just put the tonics in the fridge and stroked my huge 🍋. Daughter is picking a film and we are off tomorrow morning to pick up a dresser for my dining room. I have a lovey 18c one but it too tall and I need something with glass cupboards. I found one on market place, hoorah.
I get loads done now if I sleep well.

@MumLass as Wendy said above. Waking up sober never gets old. Not once have I woken up and thought I wish I had had a drink last night 🤣

Morning all.
All quiet on the good ship sober sister.
Feeling very tired as the DH woke me up at 2am. He was helping a friend with a disco. I left the dog in with him and have come downstairs to access tea.
I really do need to sort this sleeping business out. I thought when I didn't live next to the ambulance station anymore I would be sorted. Apparently fibromialga causes sleep issues. I shall get quite ratty. More tea needed. Have a good day shipmates.

I am officially 7 days today.

I was feeling great all week and weekend and wasn’t tempted at all. Until today I was feeling really agitated and annoyed. Grumpy, bored, tired.

feeling like I’ve not really had a weekend where I could switch off. I ended up in bed for 9pm last night as I fell asleep with my daughter then woke up at 7am and could barely open my eyes. So strange. I imagined feeling great on my first Sunday sober.

Morning all.
I had a good sleep. Hoorah.
To those newbies @Overitx you will feel tired in the first couple of weeks. It's your body's way of repairing cells without fighting to rid you of alcohol. I went to bed at 8pm most nights. Give nature a chance, we really are fantastic machines!

Daughter worried about exams so cake and chocolate disappearing. She was very upset last night. I was glad not to be rolling around drinking so I could talk to her, poor duck. She is worried she has failed two modules. I am not sure how much I can help.
Loving the fizzy Schweps tonic. I prefer it to fever tree. I noticed on the dry drinker website they have new AF wines. I shall order a few in the interests of our thread.
Have a good day my friends.

Thanks for that @WendyWagon . I know your right as I’ve been here before. I guess this is more of a reason to stop having so many day 1s.

Overitx Wendy is right. The first week I felt so so tired. In fact it went on for a while. Maybe 4/5 weeks but it improved during that time. Don’t give up! Your sober Sunday glow will come.