The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

@rothbury good morning. I believe it is the gastric sleeve bit this is my first surgery meeting. I have lost 14 kgs since I gave up drinking in January 22 but I am still a size 20/22, 180cm, so tall. I think due to my brothers passing and my new diagnosis the doctor has stepped in. I got myself in a tis being mobid. They love I don't drink, eat well now and have never smoked. My mum and granddad were type 1 diabetic so there are further risks. I saw some recent photos of an old friend. She had a sleeve and lost 10 stone. She has kept it off. However two girls in their thirties of my aquintance have struggled post surgery. Both binge eaters, both not cooks. Both big drinkers.

I hope the consultation goes well.

Isnt it brilliant responding that you don’t drink at all?! I love it. But we are the rebels and the trailblazers!

Hello everyone I'm new here. 2 years sober, currently sitting in my little courtyard in the sun with a plate of pears and glass of rose lemonade. Feeling calm, peaceful and hydrated. Have lost almost 2 stone since becoming sober despite eating so much food. Less greasy fatty food and I eat at meals times rather than binge eating to cure a hangover. Enjoying the sun knowing I'm nourishing my body with hydrating food and drinks and will wake up tomorrow hangover free, calm, peaceful, able to manage any stress that might occur. No more 3am wake ups, feeling like I've lost my soul, no more waking up de hydrated and feeling like I'm going to die young. No more guilt. No more shakes, no more depression/extreme anxiety.

Stick with sobriety and your body mind and soul will improve more than you thought possible. Eat all the fruit! Drink endless water, fruit juice & fizzy juice whatever you enjoy! Coffee has become my treat paired with a good book that I don't need to read with one eye closed to focus the other one! Ha! Happy Sunday everyone!

@Allthecatsandcosyblankets welcome

Hi @Allthecatsandcosyblankets a great post for me to read today, thanks. I'm 2 weeks today. My sleep and anxiety still isn't great but slightly better. I have had more patience with ds this week so thats a big plus. Got a holiday coming up soon which will be really hard but I know worrying about it now won't help. Hope everyone is enjoying a sunny Sunday.

If it helps I've just had a 2 week holiday in Spain, all inclusive! I drank endless alcohol free cocktails with crushed ice (pina colada was my favorite) I ate every single desert possible and drank cappuccinos in the evening. My holiday was amazing and I came back level header, hydrated and can remember every second of it! I also had the benefit of early mornings to watch the sunrise. No guilt, no shame and no hangovers!

Hi everyone. It's been a very hectic, very stressful half term here but I survived it sober and I figure if I can do that I can do anything. I'm now over 200 days which seemed impossible last year.

Sorry it's a brief post, I'm not quite ready to go into the shitty details.

@Fantasymanfantasyman great to hear the DS was easier.
I am going to make a confession in that it may help someone else.
My DD had areally hard time at secondary school. She was a school refuser. I buried myself in drink to cope with the threats and lack of support. I had no one to help me outside the home. I lurched from drunk to hungover and when it all got too much I had another drink. My parents were dead, my husbands too and my sister and I don't speak. A lot of my friends wouldn't discuss it (if little Felicity is not A* please don't involve me, it maybe catching, but that's another story! ). Only two offered practical advice. I have never been so desparate in my life. Then I was introduced to a fabulous young Dr who helped me. It wasn't until my daughter asked me to help her that I thought if she can change her mind set so can I. We worked together to create a new life. I gave up drinking to help her. It was our deal. I look back on their teenage years and feel ashamed. I could have been a better mum. For that I am truly sorry. We can only move forward and I hope to be an ace Granny someday. X

This is my dream.

@WendyWagon ❤

Morning lads. All quiet on the Western front.
Two gins AF last night so up early for tiddles but no 3am internal alarm. I have just applied for a smashing job so let's hope I get an interview. I meet all the criteria. The headhunters have drawn a blank for me so far. It came through a recruitment site so I thought why not. Ideal location too as a friend is starting a new job around the corner next month.
More book sorting today but on the last four boxes, hoorah.
I hope you all mangaged to fight the booze bastard this weekend. I was a bit down and thought I would crumble but didn't. Hopefully good things over the horizon. Have a good day my sober sisters.

Morning all. Could I join please? I have been here a few times and usually get to about 60-80 days and then always find my way back.

I have spent all day Sunday very hungover. I slept most of it. Wasn’t available for my kids. Counting down the hours til bedtime. Takeaway food as I can’t bear cooking. Gorgeous day outside and I’m on the couch.

I could go on but too ashamed and embarrassed to give all the details of Saturday night. I actually started the weekend determined not to drink… somehow went the other way in the extreme.

so I really really know I need to stop. I can’t continue anymore. I am usually a weekend drinker only but have had the temptation to drink through the week too which is new.

I’ve downloaded the sober app. I really want to make this work.

@Overitx welcome

Morning everyone!!! I haven’t caught up with the thread yet. I love this thread so much but lately I just haven’t found the time to read and post😬 Then last night I dreamt you all started a new thread without me and I wasn’t welcome anymore😂😂😂 My dreams are ridiculous!

@WendyWagon glad to see you here! Hope you are well.

@Overitx welcome!! Your post is SO familiar, I have been there too. WhT stands out to me is that you’ve done stretches of sobriety before. This tells me 1) You can do it! But also 2) 60-80 days is an interesting length of time. People often go back to drinking after that time because they think they made some point to themselves about not really having a problem with alcohol. At 60-80 days sober my life was looking better but alcohol (or rather not drinking) was still taking up a lot of my headspace. At 6 months I felt hugely better, then again at a year and now 3 years in I rarely think of alcohol and love my new life❤️ What I’m saying is, the benefits keep coming beyond 60-80 days. You owe it to yourself to explore that possibility. Ask yourself this - What if you NEVER had to worry about alcohol/hangovers again? Don’t you think you deserve a life like that?

In any case you are most welcome! We are a friendly VERY non judgmental space. I am (apparently) periodically absent but even when I am you are all in my thoughts😀

Morning @BunniesBunniesBunnies

@WendyWagon I just scrolled up a bit further and read your post about your dd. That sounds so challenging. Rather than saying “I could have been a better mum” why not say “I’m so glad I am a fully present sober mum now”? We all go through difficult times with our children (whether alcohol is involved or not), what matters is that we love them and try our best for them and this you have done many times over ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for the lovely welcome.

I think you’re right about the 60-80 day mark. I start to feel like I’ve proven something to myself. That I can now manage my alcohol and moderate. I also forget some of the unpleasant stuff that happens due to alcohol and start to feel a bit bored and missing out.

I really really really want to do it this time.

some of my most peaceful, happiest memories are when I was sober. I was living the way I feel is truly me.

im considering paying for a membership that many offer of even a sober life coach as I feel i need additional support. Has anyone used this approach

This thread has been my sober life coach😀😀 I know some on the thread attended AA meetings or the SMART ones, both of which I think are free. I’m not sure about the paid services, I’m not familiar with them. You sound very determined @Overitx, good luck!

Hello bunnies lovely to see your name pop up!

I was a miserable git at 60-80 days but felt better by 100 days. In fact I reached the elusive "field of bunnies" last summer but promptly exhausted myself with all the excitement and exhilaration of being a born again sober-person 😂

I'm on a more even keel now (IE back to being a miserable git but I have autoimmune arthritis and am probably peri menopausal so I figure I am allowed to be a bit of a misery guts!). I am currently plodding along. No drama, no stress. Just doing my thing!

The two most eye opening things for me have been

1. How being AF is not a magic cure all / fix all - all of life's problems still exist but also and more importantly
2. How being AF allows me to cope with the trials and tribulations of life. I am calmer, I am happier and I am more positive and I am more in control.

Even on my "worst" day of being AF I am in a much better place than my "best" day when I was drinking.

Bloody hell @Crunchymum you’re selling yourself short there! Plodding along with no drama or stress is seriously life goals for me😂😂😂
In seriousness I agree with everything you say there, and you’ve done especially well given your health conditions👍

@Overitx I haven't had a sober coach but I paid for a therapist. £50 per week for about six months. Worth every penny. A whole 50 minutes talking about why I drank. Family feuds, bullies, toxic colleagues, financial losses. I could go on but it would bore the pants off you and me. I strongly believe you do need a rah rah friend because any boozy friends won't like it. Your sobriety will hold a mirror up to them. I had two friends that drank more than me, neither have been seen for dust. Find someone who will listen to how you really feel. An AA sponser will do that for you. I was lucky I had my BFF who warned me my WLS wouldn't work if I carried on drinking.
We are always here. Some are night owls, I am a lark. Good luck.

@Overitx I think it’s often a case of knowing what works for you. I am motivated by achieving measurable goals (which I’m starting to see isn’t necessarily healthy, but means that an app that counted dry days was a game changer for me). I’ve never found a therapist that’s been particularly helpful for me (and I’ve had lots of career coaches, therapists and psychologists over the years for various things other than drink! Alcohol was one of the few things I never talked about).

But books and these threads have been a life saver for me.

If you think it might help, and you can afford it, why not give it a go?

Good afternoon

Just checking in day 7 here and was back to work today. Sat in the garden with an AF gin this afternoon really enjoyed the cleanco one. They also have a berry one which I may order when this one has run out.

Sleeping has been a little better and I feel more clear headed. Think this weekend will be tricky with no wine on a Friday night to reward myself for getting thorough the week.

Hope you are all doing well.

@SummerScoop well done on the first week. X

Morning lads. Nothing to report yet today.
Having a lunch in after the medical appointment.
Have a terrific Tuesday.