The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

Greetings all, welcome to the new friends and hearty waves (of the non-ocean type) to everyone. @WendyWagon I've just recently had a new cut & colour and I've gone for a rough pixie, even though I am generous of the flesh too. I'm very pleased with it. I'm sure you look beautiful. I loved Rowley Birkin QC, he was one of my Fast Show favourites (plus I used to work with people very like him) - "schnnerrgggrrppfth schneerrsy POISONOUS MONKEY! schneerzzz toubbbbeee". 😆His final monologue though, when he was describing losing the girl he loved was utterly heart-breaking. Very well-acted.

A fresh hell has dawned at my end. Following the dog's recent neutering operation the post-op process now seems to be taking close-up pics of the operation site and uploading them to the vets app so they can check that all is recovering well. So, at 3 days and then 10 days I duly took close ups of the dog's “love-spuds” and general down-there area.

At Slimming World this week we were sharing encouraging/inspiring photos during our group session.

Guess which pics appeared accidentally at the top of my list, for all to see?

Yup. The fun-plums, in close-up glorious technicolour.

🍆

Mortified. I might have to flee the country.

Strength and love to all. xx

@REP22 oh myyyyyy god !!!!!!

Love to everyone and keep effing going

That's what makes me move

@stilldumdedumming oh God the Pat Butcher! Do I have to wear polyester 'over shirts'? Mind you could it be worse, I could go for Jockey Wilson! I would like a Jean Muir bob in silver grey. I need to get rid of the gold bits first.

I went blue for the football last weekend and am stuck with it until it washes out. Shan't get it cut until the Autumn now. I need it longer in the summer because my neck sweats and I need to put my hair up.

Lots happening here this weekend, so I shall be out and socialising, soberly of course.

Posted too soon.

Have a safe and sober weekend everyone.

Hilarious - at least they weren't human 🍆 pics @REP22 🤣

All this hair talk has reminded me I need a haircut. I still wear mine long but I need it gone. Not pixie length though. I'm not that brave yet!! Probably shoulder length as I still need to be able to put it up in a ponytail.

Happy Friday one and all. Here's to a happy and healthy sober weekend.

afternoon. I am tired. so tired. Now settling the dcs down and then to bed.

@CurtainsForBea Oh, bless you. You will be tired, especially to begin with. It's just the stuff working its way our and your body adjusting. I promise that you won't always feel like this.

It will be alright soon. Sleep well and look after yourself. It'll be OK. xx

Morning sober sisters.
Nothing much to report other than a nosey friend asking for a lunch invite at the new house. Every single move she has done this. I am surrounded by boxes and have to wait for a good day health wise to put things away. The last thing I want is a 'lip chewer' poking around. Tbh she was recently part of the stalking situation. She had had the gossipy estate agent to dinner. In my book she should be supporting me. When I told her what he had done she brushed it off. The man is a nasty bastard who cost the DH and I over £6k in fees plus a fair few houses we would have loved to buy (we were not allowed to view). He holds a prominent position in a national estate agency. I know of other people who have been picked off by him but he continues to reign supreme. How to do you deal with someone like that? It would not be solved by the bottle and I have some fresh tonic in the fridge, hoorah.
Hopefully sunny and I am off to buy new trousers as mine don't fit. Just marks white linen but I might get two pairs. Have a good one mes aimies.

Morning all, and welcome to a sober Saturday morning!
I’m running a 10k this morning. It’s been in the diary for months and my target was to do it in under a hour but I’ve had a horrible cold all week so nearly pulled out. BUT I’m trying to work on my “achievement” mindset (I’m very goal oriented and beat myself up if I think I have “failed” at something), so I’m trying to view this as a learning experience. My mantra of “it’s a nice day for a run in the park, just enjoy it” worked until I left the house and realised it’s not as warm as expected out here. Ah well.
Have a good day everyone. If this is your first sober Saturday in a while, you’ll be amazed at how many hours there are in it!

@Onewildandpreciouslife good luck with the run x

Good luck with the run @Onewildandpreciouslife

I can't imagine @WendyWagon . It sounds like putting her off won't put her off for long.

@REP22 that'll get them wondering!

I tried alcohol free wine last night. That was a mistake.

Happy Saturday everyone. Enjoy the sun.

Hello all, hope you're all doing well. Sorry about your diagnosis @WendyWagon , I hope you're getting some support.

@Onewildandpreciouslife good luck with the run, sorting out my aversion to exercise is one of the next things I want to tackle, you have my admiration!

I'm on day 33, can't quite believe it actually. I've never done this before apart from pregnancy and one dry January. I found the first 2 weeks very difficult but feeling much better now and the wine witch has been getting quiter (though definitely not gone yet).

My big challenge is going to be those times (ie holidays) where I know I'll wonder if I can now be one of those people who only drinks occasionally, now I've managed to quit for a while. I'm finding quit lit good for these sorts of thoughts though.

@BraveMaeve well done on the first month done!

@BraveMaeve 33 days is fantastic! Well done.

You may be surprised what your body can do when you’re not drinking. I always say the mindset you need when exercising is very similar to going sober - one training mantra is that “you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable”, which certainly applied today! I did the 10k, not in a great time, but I did it. Halfway round I found myself telling myself “trust the process, trust the process”, which is another phrase I found helpful in the early sober days!

Good to hear from you @MerylSqueak - I only like af rose, and hated real rose!

afternoon- have been itchy and jumpy all day, My go to default when bored / happy / sad is to drink.

I am motivating myself by shoving the not'drinking money into a separate savings account. £20 around save so far, I did buy (and eat) coconut icecream though.

I do not like AF wine. AF sparkling seems okay to me though generally. DH does not drink and he loves AF Guiness.

Hope everyone is well. @WendyWagon

I had a bit of a shocker today. Lunch out with my main friendship group, who I thought were “over” the fact I no longer drink.

Apparently at least one of them isn’t over it at all. I sat there while she basically told me I am “not as adventurous as I used to be “

Given the fact we’re all nearly sixty with responsibilities and various health issues, she can only have been alluding to my sober status. I kind of defended myself, saying I didn’t know what she meant, and obviously I wasn’t in a position to do some of the admittedly adventurous things I did in my 20s and 30s, but then most people aren’t surely?

It’s left me feeling like everyone thinks I am a huge fucking bore, just because I don’t pour booze down my throat like I used to.

@rothbury thats rotten. I have had the same. I was the party thrower (and payer!) so I not really included anymore. I am hurt by a couple of people but you and I know these people have their own issues with alcohol.
Buy yourself a new bag, lipstick or scarf with your saved money.
It makes me angry when people minimise the struggle some have with alcohol. It's not rocket science, some drugs react badly with some people. Poison in, problems out. Daft buggers. We love you, unmumsnetty hugs.

Hang in there @CurtainsForBea . It takes 4-5 days for the effects of the alcohol to leave your system, and 10 days for cortisol levels to stabilise. It will get easier - do whatever you need to do to push through this stage.

@rothbury how rude!

Thanks @WendyWagon I really appreciate your kind words. I just wasn’t expecting it. Only two of the group of six were drinking today (including this particular friend) so my sobriety was even less of an issue than usual.

It made me feel like they had been talking about me behind my back. I’m old enough to know that what other people say about you is none of your business, but it really hurt.

On reflection, she was also trying to talk the friend who is having WLS out of it. Telling her it’s irreversible and extreme, and the consultant is just trying to make money out of her! Maybe she’s just frightened of change.

I feel better seeing it as a “her problem” than a “me problem”. I’m not saying or doing anything that hurts anyone else.

Hello everyone. I'm a newbie - I read Allen Carr and have been booze free for 2 days although I had a close call tonight... I am so so glad I held strong!

I'm struggling to get to sleep which has never been a problem - is that normal?

Welcome @SummerSilliness ! Well done on day 2 and staying strong. Yes, completely normal. The way I’ve read it described is this: Our brains usually produce chemicals at night to make us sleepy. If we drink a lot, the alcohol sends us to sleep instead, so the brain learns it doesn’t need to bother with the sleepy stuff. When we stop drinking, our brain takes a while to realise that it needs to start producing the sleep chemicals again. So you just need to wait for your brain to catch up.

@SummerSilliness welcome and sleep issues completely normal for a few weeks. Some are so tired they can sleep on a park bench or others can't at all. What I can tell you is after about ten days your quality of sleep improves and it is wonderful.
Its like being a kid again or when you are mid term pregnant (I looked amazing first baby).
I went to bye byes at 8pm again last night hence up early. I have had my eight hours.
The husband is stock piling the Gordon's AF as £10 at Tesco with a club card.
I have an appointment for the weight loss surgery this coming week, eek.

Morning all. Up bright and zippy at 5 am for me!

@rothbury the problem is definitely with your friend. It sounds like she is getting something out of being down on others.

Best of luck with the medical appointments @WendyWagon

Welcome @SummerSilliness Yes I had a few completely sleepless nights at first. Now I sleep better than ever. The Alan Carr book is good, but I am a big fan of Alcohol Explained by William Porter if you fancy more quit lit.

@CurtainsForBea thanks. I feel better having slept on it. It just came from nowhere, and I guess there’s that part of me that fears I am boring now (I definitely am not 😜) so it hit the weak spot.

Do you mind saying what WLS you are having @WendyWagon ? My friend is having a gastric sleeve. It should reverse her diabetes immediately which is amazing. Good luck!