The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome!

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

This is a thread for people who want to live an alcohol free life! These threads were started about three years ago by @DryBird2020 and they have been a continued source of support for people at all stages of sobriety. Whether you are one day, one month or one year sober - You are welcome! The only thing we ask if that you have committed to stopping drinking when you join the thread (as talk to drinking or moderation may be triggering to some of our posters).

My name is @Bunnies and I am almost 1000 days sober, in no small part thanks to this amazing supportive community. I hope to see many new and old posters on this thread!

Happy sober 2023 all!

I treasure each and every Sunday I don't have a hangover. Saturday used to be the night I'd hit it the hardest and Sunday was a right off for me most of the time. Any plans usually happened without me.

Don't get me wrong most Sunday's at this time of year are still lazy / low key (DC1 is poorly with a cough and cold so we probably won't go out today) but I'm thankful and grateful to be clear headed, rested and calm.

I'm glad you enjoyed your event @Onewildandpreciouslife and I love a Lucky Saint!!

Happy Monday everyone. Hope the weekend went fine. I know for me I used to feel a sense of relief that I had made it through another weekend. But as crunchymum says a hangover free Sunday (or it was Saturday for me) is always something to notice and enjoy.

I know someone who is getting a little older and gets hangovers now when they didn't before. They had a 3 day hangover last week! I was VERY glad that I don't do that anymore.

Hope everyone has a good week.

Afternoon all.
I have a nice clean flat (landlord sent around the estate agents to value). I am a good cook but a rubbish housekeeper. I love ironing tho!
Hopefully we will have a move date tomorrow. Lots in the fridge to help this week. Kylie and Marks ready mix G & T.

Oooh good luck with tomorrow for your moving date wendywagon

I feel I missed something somewhere. Was this the original cottage that fell through (or almost fell through) or another place?

@Breathmiller not the cottage. Something a lot younger!
I am having a change of style for the next few years. I have bought a company too. A spilt risk if you like.
Hoping for an Easter move.

Keeping everything crossed for you @WendyWagon
I celebrated moving into my house 5 years ago today. It's the longest time I've ever lived anywhere so it means a lot.

And I got my 16 weeks award on the Try Dry app. Am aiming for 'Sober Spring' next. I had a bit of a wobble over the weekend. My husband asked if I thought id ever drink again...and I said I didn't know. Suddenly my comfort in sobriety went and a dry future seemed very bleak. I'm still working my way through those feelings.

But on a positive note, we finally booked our belated honeymoon - a week without the kids in Cyprus in September. I cannot wait!!

Morning all.
@MyGhastIsFlabbered well done 👏

I get asked the 'will you ever go back to the wine' a lot. My answer is I don't know. I am 14 months tomorrow and tbh when I have fallen off the wagon I don't sleep, I sweat like a pig and I really don't feel well. We have been invited to a dinner party, first time in years. I use to embarrass myself (obviously at the time I thought I was super entertaining😁). My poor DH was always reluctant to go, I thought it was the knobby people, it was me and my antics. I have decided to take the Marks tins. Easy for everyone, slap it in a glass, job done.
And good people I think I have gone down a dress size. I have been sporting a baggy arse in my jeans. I didn't know until I caught myself in the mirror and thought Christ I need a belt!
Have a good day my friends. X

@MyGhastIsFlabbered congratulations on 16 weeks - brilliant achievement! “I don’t know” is an honest and reasonable answer. I remember at the start of Sober Spring last year someone asked me the same question, and I said the same thing, and added “I can’t imagine going on holiday and not drinking”. But when it came to that holiday, I came on here, got sound advice, and did it. And I promise you, life without alcohol isn’t bleak. This time last year I wouldn’t have believed that.

Sounds like a plan for dinner @WendyWagon . And whoop whoop on the dress size! Time to go shopping?

16 weeks is amazing @MyGhastIsFlabbered Well done!!!

My answer to the "will you ever drink again?" question now is a very easy and emphatic no. I just couldn't go back to drinking.

In the earlier days I used to answer "I don't know" and it became "I don't think so" and now it's just an outright resounding "no"

In previous dry spells the issue for me is once I give a moments consideration to drinking, I was back drinking (no literally that moment but once I considered the possibility I could drink moderately then days / weeks later I'd be back on the wine and I have never been able to moderate well)

Fab news wendywagon on the house, the company and the dress size. You are rocking this!

Huge congratulations on your 16 weeks "ghast* thats a brilliant milestone. That's almost a third of a year!

On the question of will I ever drink again? 99% of the time if I ask myself the question the answer is "no, i wont, no intention of drinking again." In these miniscule moments that creep in of maybe I can moderate I just think well, if ever in the future I change my mind then I'll have a rethink. But i stick witb the best thought that for today, no I have no desire to drink. And that gets me through these moments.

When it comes to other people asking me? Generally as I get older I find a smile, a shrug of the shoulders and a "who knows what the future holds" works for me. I have notoriously been the kind of person to wear their heart on their sleeve and happy to share my thoughts on most subjects, even those close to my heart. But I am realising that sometimes when something is said out loud to other people it makes it real. Which is good in some ways, keeps you on the path. But in other ways I really can't be arsed explaining my whole being at all times as it often means they want to argue with me. Be that my politics, my thoughts on bringing up kids, what I eat and what I drink. "Meh" smile and nod, smile and nod.

@Breathmiller isnt it a lovely thing not caring so much what people think?
I worried constantly about what others thought, tried to be a 'balanced' person.
I actually don't engage with people I don't like anymore. I was very lonely when my father died (last parent or in-law). I had stopped working and wanted to be friends with everyone. Quite a lot of those people have faded from my life. Last year I thought why? Now I know. We have no glue that ties us. As you said "Breathmiller my politics, my children and my diet are none of their business. Isn't it freeing to feel like this? I highly recommend it as a boozers strategy.

Sorry ex boozer

Very freeing. Part of the menopause I think too. Better boundaries and a much better sense of not giving a fuck what someone's unasked for opinion on me is. Very liberating.

My gran used to listen to people and smile and agree and thank them for their advice (my dad being one of them with a hefty sense of his own opinion). When he'd leave, smug because he thought she agreed with him, she would turn to me and say "I find letting things like that go in one ear and out the other the best thing sometimes, my dear" and grin 🤣. She was fab, my Gran.

Morning all. Up to early to a tanker stuck outside in the snow. Six inches. Not sure if the curly dog will like it. He hates being cold.
Therapy Wednesday this week. I am asking for advice on the DD. Hopefully it will give me some insights.
I tried the Kylie AF prosecco last night and it is too sweet for me. Back to the Gordon's. Women and Home did mention the AF fizzero at Marks this month but if that is the best of the best God help us!

14 months today, a few blips but at least £3k saved.
Happy International Women's Day all.

Happy international woman’s day all! You must all be some of the strongest women I know💪💪💪

Happy International Women's Day you band of wonderful women.

Happy international women's day everyone! I'm really feeling the barriers of being a woman at the moment. I've been struggling after my Dad passed away a few months ago and now my mum has been diagnosed with dementia. I'm not sleeping and having problems coping at work. I've fought the barriers hard throughout my life. Returned to work early after having my son and progressed to a senior role. However, I'm at the point where I think elder care and menopause will beat me and I can't fight it anymore.

On the AF thing, my mum has had a drink problem and this appears to be the cause of her condition now. She's killed too many brain cells and has now been told that alcohol is completely out of the question.

We are all much better of avoiding the demon drink. Love and cake to you all 🍰

@Newmum738 good morning. Have you anyone to talk to? Can you self refer for a bit of counselling. I think if you go on the NHS website that might do it.
Life can be a bugger Newmum. My parents passed before dementia. However I know from others how hard it is. I would not take your own mental health too lightly. If no luck NHS can you buy some private sessions? Some will agree 6 sessions.
Keep posting if you feel we can help.

Happy I.W.D one and all.

We are all phenomenal women (even if I do say so myself!)

@Newmum738 sorry to hear about all struggles, dealing with the loss of you dad is hard enough without your mum's condition too. I am glad that her diagnosis seems to reinforce to how bad alcohol is, as opposed to sending you in the opposite direction. Losing my mum was tipping point for me and it drove me to the brink with drinking. I have huge respect to those navigating recent losses and remaining AF.

I also agree that was women we carry such a burden. Men just don't? Yes they lose parents and have elderly parents with health issues and kids with disabilities and work issues and MH issues etc but it never seems to be the same for them?

I deal with all my shit on top of working, looking after 3 kids on my own, dealing with DC3's disability and all that entails. I don't know any man who does what I do??

Thanks @WendyWagon. I'm starting therapy next week although wish I'd brought it forward a bit. I'm sure it will help a lot. Going to speak to my boss today. I decided this morning to switch the alarm off so that helped me get back to sleep for another hour and now I'm taking it easy!

@Newmum738 you will feel better with just an hour of talking about how you feel.
Crunch I don't know how you do it.
I am still in my jimmies. Just had a email spat with a spoilt madam. Business, not personal. Was very tempting to tell her to 'do one' whatever that means. Questioning why people are so paranoid. Tell the truth and move on.
Now breathe

Morning all.
I was very sorry to read your update about your mum @Newmum738 . It was dealing with my mum’s dementia that (nearly) broke me. You’re one step ahead of me if you’re doing it without alcohol- I thought at the time it was a coping mechanism but I can see now it just made it worse.

I’m glad you’re speaking to work - get all the support you need. And boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! Have you found the “cockroach cafe” thread on elderly parents? I found them a very helpful and supportive bunch when I was in the thick of it (but there are quite a lot of references to gin which you’ll need to skim over!)

I think there are some people that just grit their teeth and get on with stuff, not always in their own best interests. It’s usually women, but not always. My sister decided she couldn’t cope with very much of it. I remember bursting out one day “How come I have to be the big brave one?” And she replied “because you are”. I so wasn’t.

Anyway, enough of all that. Feel free to message me if you need to talk PoAs,social services etc @Newmum738

And Happy IWD all!

just popping by to wish you all a very happy IWD.

Off to a gig tonight, 4 hours drive from home , on a whim! Just me the DH, leaving the kids to fend for themselves - easier now the power is back on.

Wouldn't have done it when i was drinking because who would drive home.. I may feel differently when we roll in at 2am, but you gotta live right!

Wishing you all love.

Morning all.
Happy Friday! Hope everyone is doing OK

Morning all