Alcohol free in 23

[DancingSober]

Hello!

This is the thread for doing a whole year alcohol free beginning tomorrow (although some have started a bit early).

This isn't a moderation thread, so it isn't for cutting down. It's absolutely no alcohol for the whole of 2023.

That said, slip ups happen and I will not be throwing anyone off the thread if they have a blip, (or several blips), but please don't post if you're planning to have a few drinks here and there, as it may affect people who are struggling to remain AF but want to.

Tagging everyone from the initial thread:

@SerialMover
@Metalhead
@nancydroo
@blondie87
@TooSunny
@Preparedforjobnottolast
@thenewaveragebear1983
@limitededitionbarbie
@afaloren
@hashbrownsandwich
@Wantmyownbed

I think that's everyone, but please join if you want to (it's open to everyone) and huge apologies if I have missed anyone with my tagging.

@NoTimeForWine sorry to hear your news.

I've had a bit of a nightmare week involving a car crash (me at fault), stress at work and I have a family funeral this week. To top it off I went for a 2 hour walk today in the rain and lost my keys somewhere on the route (it's across the downs, didn't see anyone for the 2 hours) so had to go back and do it again to find them!!!

That all considered, I've not drank and don't intend to. I've actually found that while I am in some ways more anxious, I'm also feeling more level headed.

Sorry to hear about your friend @NoTimeForWine that's a very sad start to the new year. Well done on not turning to alcohol though.

I'm now 8 days in and feeling OK- apart from sleeping, everything is fine. I seem to be having two very wakeful nights and then a good sleep, and my body clock is all over the place. Back to school tomorrow though so hoping normal routine will resume and help somewhat.

So sorry about your friend , @NoTimeForWine . I hope today goes as well as these things can. Wishing you strength.

@NoTimeForWine I hope it is all ok today. Sending virtual and unmumsnetty hugs.

Morning all.

I hope today goes as well as it can given the circumstances @NoTimeForWine

Day 9 and I can hardly believe it. I slept well. I have put on a pound and a half! I was mindlessly stuffing myself though.

have good days everyone.

Thank you all for the good wishes. Needless to say I didn't sleep last night. I've been going over things in my mind since she passed. She went from a diagnosis of liver cirrhosis, to intensive care, to dying within 3 weeks. I knew she was drinking too much but I had no idea how bad it had got. She messaged me from hospital and said she was experiencing withdrawal symptoms there. I was so shocked. I think that's what hurts so much, that although we were close she didn't feel able to confide how bad the problem was. In her last message she said she was ashamed, scared and didn't know if she was going to make it.

I feel like I let her down for so many reasons. I know it's no ones fault and I don't feel guilt as such, I just feel so sad that she didn't get help in time.

@hashbrownsandwich so sorry to hear about your car accident, are you ok?! Hope you found the keys in the end!

Drinking too much, and the shame that generates is very isolating. I know I've kept people at bay because I didn't want them to stumble upon my" shameful secret". I couldn't talk about it with anyone, even my closest friends, because I was so ashamed of myself. I've only just started admitting things to DH, even though he's right there and could obviously see what I was doing to myself.

I'm looking forward to rebuilding relationships being AF.

@hashbrownsandwich, so sorry - I didn't see your post till a minute ago. What a stressful time! I hope everything is ok

I've done something a bit major today... I've told my work I'm not staying. Haven't officially handed in my notice, but will do that when I've spoken to the HT tomorrow. I don't want to leave them in the lurch, so won't leave immediately, but I'm planning my escape. I've had enough and I'm fairly lucky we can afford for me to quit (although I am not planning to be at home too long).

@NoTimeForWine, that's really sad and sudden the way your friend passed away. I agree that alcohol use can be quite isolating. Even if you're only drinking socially, it's not very sociable if you can hardly remember your night and can't connect with people properly as you're too drunk to have a meaningful conversation. Like you, I'm looking forward to having different relationships without booze

@NoTimeForWine I hope all went well today ❤️

Day 9 ✅

Day 10! Double figures!!

Hooray to double figures!

How is everyone? I am feeling the benefit of being alcohol free today - my child was unwell last night and I had a very disrupted night with little sleep. I've still managed to have a productive day at work today - I know for a fact if I'd had wine last night then I would have been wasting a days annual leave today. Wine gives me such a sense of overwhelm the following day and I absolutely do not miss that!!

That's really good @TeeNoG. So true about the overwhelm.

I have handed in my notice at work and am a mixture of emotions like this 😂😬🤢😩😄🎉🥳😲😢. But it's (mainly) a good thing and a decision made definitely not under the influence of alcohol.

Oh wow @DancingSober! That's a really brave decision. I'm sure once the initial doubt and nerves wear off you'll be left feeling nothing but relief. We only regret the things we don't do and all that.

I made it through the service and wake yesterday dry. Surprisingly I slept really well for the first time in a long time. I don't know if it was genuine exhaustion or whether it was the closure the day brought. She had a child the same age as my youngest so I cried pretty much every time I saw them. I just can't imagine not seeing mine grow up.

Back at work today and managed to avoid the constant stream of 'treats'. One of my colleagues is a baker and she often brings in a tray of something. I think I may weigh myself on day 14 to see how it's going but I definitely feel some small changes.

@TeeNoG I have so many reasons for not drinking I can't list them out but the last time my youngest was sick in the night I slept through and DH dealt with it. He couldn't believe the noise etc didn't wake me but I had drank wine the night before and was probably passed out rather then actually asleep. I remember at the time feeling rotten that he'd had to deal with it alone and I hadn't been able help.

That's heartbreaking that your friend had a little one @NoTimeForWine. I'm so sorry again. Well done for making it through without having a drink.

Thanks, I'm sure it's the right thing to do re work. I have my notice period to think about what I'm going to do with my life 😂

@DancingSober good on you! It's a brave decision and I'm sure it will be the right decision. The work world is your oyster! 👏

@NoTimeForWine your story really resonates with me. I've not been fully present for my son on numerous occasions, it feels awful. Thank you for sharing, it's nice to know you are not the only one.

@HappyHealthy23 I think my friend was disclosing as little as she could to keep the appearance of normality. She was afraid of seeking help in case social services or the school were notified. Plus I think she had convinced herself it wasn't "that bad".

Looking back now it was obvious she was in serious trouble with alcohol. She was cancelling play dates but turning up to nights out. She was having to go home early because she was so drunk. She kept having falls and injuring herself despite being fairly young. She missed the application deadline for a school place. In isolation the events didn't feel that unusual to things most people do from time to time, but when added up it should have been obvious she wasn't coping.

It's that old cliché, isn't it? If you're not homeless and drinking in the morning, you're not an alcoholic.

This is the longest I have been alcohol free since I was a teenager.
Currently sat eating drumstick lollies - no urge for wine, but got a real sweet tooth going on which is a new thing for me! And still not sleeping!!

Good morning 🌄

@notimeforwine I really feel for your friend and how isolated alcoholism must have made her. We're experts at keeping everything covered up and looking ok ish to the outside world. You did so well to get through the funeral and wake dry.

@dancingsober congratulations, the world is your oyster. Must feel very freeing!

I'm on day 11 and feeling exhausted. Sleeping really well but not sure why I'm so drained of life. Taking lots of vitamins and not craving any alcohol yet.

I feel a bit anxious about something new I'm doing at work today and usually I'd have hit the wine last night to cope with the nerves. But I didn't and I'm here with a tired but clear head.

Well done for making such a big decision @DancingSober - hope it works out really well for you!

I had my first sober meal out of the year on Monday - and managed just fine. Helped that they had nice non alcoholic drinks on the menu and the surroundings/food were lovely too.

The mocktail I had to start had a botanical infusion from https://www.sprigsterdrinks.com/ in it along with a cranberry and ginger mixer from https://doubledutchdrinks.com/ - I then had a cucumber and melon mixer on it's own from double dutch too.

Yesterday late afternoon into evening was not so good - super tired - unproductive and grumpy. I think this was pretty much entirely down to simply not getting enough sleep...the ipad has been coming to bed with me again...I go to bed at 10pm/10.30 pm and get up at 6.30 am so I really don't have time to be watching random things on You Tube for hours before going to sleep AND get enough sleep! Lesson learnt again? Maybe...

I've got a Piano lesson this evening and I've, yet again, barely practised (nothing Monday and Tuesday - see above) so I'm going to try and squeeze some in now before facing the continued disappointment of my teacher regarding my lack of practice. I feel like I'm 10 again (ONLY in this respect of course)!

Day 14 here, and thoughts of “I could just have the odd drink” are starting to creep in. However, I know from past experience that once I break my sober streak, I will be back to daily drinking (or close enough) in no time, so I’m not going to give in.

I had those thoughts also yesterday @Metalhead and it was quite hard to get through it. I did though, thankfully.

Here is to sticking with it.

This blogpost might be useful to those having thoughts of drinking again creeping in.

mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/2015/09/the-obstacle-course.html?m=1

I'd recommend her book too, The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley. Might be time for me to read it again too!

@DancingSober glad that you stuck to your guns both in the not drinking and the resigning areas.

Is anyone else feeling just more clarified?

I am under ALOT of stress at the moment - I'm doing a uni degree, working, 3 kids, multiple animals and just hectic. I've realised that as much as I'm stressed, it would be a lot worse if I was drinking.

Had the funeral yesterday for my family member. Everyone was absolutely wasted. I stayed strong, didn't touch a drop and made sure everyone got home safely. I have no idea how I've become that person 😬

I posted this on another drink-free thread, but this one seems a bit more active so I've copied & pasted...

Yes! Please may I join? I'm currently on Day 11. I really want to banish the booze from my life. It's been creeping up over the years and I'm now about 5-6 bottles of wine a week. Stressy day = wine, numb things out = wine, bored = wine, sad = wine, happy = wine, celebrate = wine. I have had episodes of blackouts over the past few years too and they terrify me, I am scaring myself and just feel my family deserves better. I don't think it's doing my mental health any favours either.

This isn't my first rodeo.

I did Dry January, grudgingly, 2 years ago and managed it but only did it to prove, y'know, I'm not an alcoholic. Couldn't wait to get back on the wine, obviously I'd moderate and stick within the 14 units and never embarrass myself .... oh hold on, of course, I broke all my rules, over and over.

This time I've looked forward to Dry January. I've not missed drinking; I've had the withdrawal headaches but have been rewarded with the quality sleep the last few nights and going to bed with a clear conscience. The thought of drinking again scares me. (The thought of not drinking again scares me too, which is why we do one day at a time!)
(Edit - a few people have mentioned headaches, they can indeed be part of alcohol withdrawal).

I would love to achieve Dry January; 100 days; 1 year; total sobriety. (Well, actually, I'd love to be a moderate drinker, one of those annoying "take it or leave it" who has a glass of champers on special occasions...but clearly that's not me & unlikely to ever be me).

So here I am. Let's do this!

Adding to the above that I copied and posted over, just to say I am so sorry for those of you who have lost people recently, or are struggling. Glad we have each other.

Hi everyone
Condolences to those who have experienced recent bereavement and been to funerals and well done DancingSober for making such a life changing decision!

I need some help - I am 40 next week and my lovely friends keep dropping by with gifts which is so amazing and I feel so loved but unfortunately for me it's mainly alcohol!!! I now have 3 bottles of my fave red wine, some champagne and a huge bottle of limited edition spiced rum on the kitchen side. My cravings are so so strong and I don't have work tomorrow so normally I would have a bottle tonight. I'm not sure what to do. I can lock them in the cupboard/car/garage/shed but ultimately they are still here and I'm worried about my resolve. What would you do?