I think I need some help

[SouperNoodle]

Hi, this is my first time posting! I'm sorry it's a long post!

So a bit of backstory: 8 years ago I had a nervous breakdown and went from someone who never drank to an alcoholic and binge drinker.
After a while my family held an intervention and my dr said if I didn't stop, I'd die. I decided I needed to change so did sober October. I had the sweats and shakes for 2 weeks but then was ok.
After that, I rarely drank but if I did, it was only a couple.

Over the past year, I've found that I'm drinking a lot more and on nights out/events I binge drink again and make an utter fool of myself. I spend the next couple of days texting out apologies and lie in bed hating myself.

Last night I held a Halloween party for friends and our children. The kids were all in one room playing and watching movies and us parents were drinking in the kitchen.
I promised myself I'd stick to a limit but ended up getting absolutely blind drunk. I hit a real low point where my youngest daughter saw me crawling to my bedroom. Even typing that out has me in tears, despising myself.

I need to stop, not only for myself but for the sake of my children.
I don't know where to start! I know the sensible thing would be to go cold turkey but I don't feel ready to give it up completely...I know I have to though.

Any advice or even just a handhold would be so appreciated. Xxx

Forgot to say you can register for my free webinar at 90dayslater.co/social

Thanks so much! I'd be really interested in that xx

It's my first weekend without alcohol! Handhold please 😣 the wine cravings have already started but I binned all the wine in the house to make sure I couldn't even if I wanted to!

Hang in there. Distraction read, go for walk, listen to something helpful on YouTube. I gave up January 1st 1997 my drinking had been out of control for few years by then. I am also the adult child of alcoholic parents, the shame I carried around for years, they were disgustingly drunk and embarrassing every day.
One of the best things I did was started juicing fresh ginger, it was my whiskey replacement. On ice, with fizzy water or hot water and honey. It helped any nauseous feelings, it has a real kick to it. No alcohol mojito in summer, fresh lime, mint and fizzy water.
I also read books, the adult children of alcoholics, the road less traveled and women who love too much. All made me understand why I behaved the way I did. I cried buckets but mostly I was angry. Realizing I suffered co dependency was hard but explained poor decisions and bad relationships.
One day at a time, an hour at a time, I white knuckled it some days, it's 25 years now but the memory is enough to stop me going back there. I have friends who just can't stop, it's not easy but if I did it anyone can.
I found dealing with feelings horrific. I worried I wouldn't be fun, be funny, what would I do if I didn't go to the pub, I would have no friends, all fears that were just fears.
If you have questions just ask and I promise you I have done stuff that I still cringe at xx

Thank you so much for your post! Well done for your success in sobriety! It must've been a tough road but it sounds like you're on the other side of it now!
I've started thinking about all the nice virgin cocktails I can enjoy. Missing nights out is something I'm definitely worried about. I get serious FOMO 😅

Well done you!! Nearly there - just think of the fantastic sleep you’re going to have and how fresh you will feel in the morning

I second pp recommending this naked mind alcohol experiment. I started the 30 day experiment and am on day 61 today - it’s been great. Content unlocks each day with different topics like alcohol and sleep and just gives a different perspective and dispels some myths. I’ve just started reading alcohol explained too

make sure you reward yourself in some way in the morning !

Well done @SouperNoodle and don’t worry about nights out. I actually have a better time sober! And feel brilliant the next day! Proper fun, no arguments/embarrassing moments and no anxiety the next day. ♥️ Keep going!

Thanks guys! I had a read up on the 30 day experiment. I'm going to give it a go but not quite ready yet.
I survived my first sober Friday night in a long time and had to be up early with the kids so was thankful not to be hungover.
Tonight is my first sober party! Wish me luck xx

Well done you!! Hope you feel proud of yourself !!

Enjoy your party. As @bitachey says the no embarrassing moments / anxiety the next day is priceless !

Hi everyone! I hope you're all well?
I'm now 15 days sober 😊 it doesn't sound like much but I'm really happy and feeling positive!
The strange thing is that I haven't even wanted a drink. Normally it's the first thing I do of an evening!
I genuinely believe all your support and advice really set a good foundation for me so thank you thank you thank you 💖

Well done OP that is amazing!

Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Alan Carr helped me. Also binge listening all the Home podcasts with Holly and Laura.

A big achievement OP / keep going 💪🏼

So good @SouperNoodle well done!!!!

Well done @SouperNoodle 15 days is brilliant - two weekends ! Hope you’re feeling some of the benefits too

Well done @soupernoodle. You've smashed the hardest part of it and it's great that the cravings have diminished.

Really well done, my journey will start tomorrow xx

Have you thought of AA? Because I've seen it help two people I know.
I also read Russel Brand's book about addiction and found it very insightful.

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments!
I'm feeling really positive about the future!

Good luck @smalbert!!! You can do this xxx

I did consider it but I don't think I'm quite there yet. I'm going to give it 6 months and see how I feel ☺️

I'd just pop to a meeting, well I say that, I should myself, I believe they are very welcoming.

Good for you !

Im feeling positive too. Usually at this time of year I’d be thinking of nights out / moderating vs Christmas activities with the kids (and generally feeling a bit shit and run down) but I feel quite comforted at the thought of not drinking and therefore being able to fully enjoy all the things we have planned

it’s soooo nice waking up in the morning without a hint of a hangover !!

good luck @smalbert you can do it!

Thought I'd update in case anyone's interested 😊
I've stopped drinking at home completely and have stayed sober except for a weekend holiday where I had 2 small drinks per day. I'm so proud of myself and want to keep going! It's so nice waking up on the weekend without a hangover and not worrying about what I may have said/done.

Massive congratulations, I aspire to be you one day, possibly will start with dry January

Thank you ☺️ you can 100% do it!! Good luck xx

It’s something really silly that helped me — I bought in lots of interesting drinks (including non alcoholic prosecco and gin) that I could drink instead. That way I still felt as though I was drinking but I wasn’t, if that makes sense.

That’s brilliant; well done!