Hi, this is my first time posting! I'm sorry it's a long post!
So a bit of backstory: 8 years ago I had a nervous breakdown and went from someone who never drank to an alcoholic and binge drinker.
After a while my family held an intervention and my dr said if I didn't stop, I'd die. I decided I needed to change so did sober October. I had the sweats and shakes for 2 weeks but then was ok.
After that, I rarely drank but if I did, it was only a couple.
Over the past year, I've found that I'm drinking a lot more and on nights out/events I binge drink again and make an utter fool of myself. I spend the next couple of days texting out apologies and lie in bed hating myself.
Last night I held a Halloween party for friends and our children. The kids were all in one room playing and watching movies and us parents were drinking in the kitchen.
I promised myself I'd stick to a limit but ended up getting absolutely blind drunk. I hit a real low point where my youngest daughter saw me crawling to my bedroom. Even typing that out has me in tears, despising myself.
I need to stop, not only for myself but for the sake of my children.
I don't know where to start! I know the sensible thing would be to go cold turkey but I don't feel ready to give it up completely...I know I have to though.
Any advice or even just a handhold would be so appreciated. Xxx