The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

[Crunchymum]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

Morning lads. Enjoy your swim @rockingbird . I’m spending the week by the coast, so I’m toying with the idea of a sea swim, but not sure if I’ll follow through

sorry you’ve been feeling poorly @WendyWagon

Im on my own this week so loving being able to go to bed early. I always wake early but it seems antisocial to go to bed 2 hours before DH when I’m at home

Morning all. 3 weeks dry now for me. I still think I'm adjusting/detoxing as I still feel rubbish. It's not fair. DH is sinking a bottle of wine a night at the weekend with no ill effects. Mind you, I feel so rough I'm not tempted to drink at all.

I started a new job 4 weeks ago and went from full time from part time. I'm absolutely exhausted which is why I think I feel so bad. But I also know alcohol wouldn't help in the slightest so I'm clinging to that as consolation.

Remember there is no problem that can't be made worse by alcohol

Today I am officially one year no beer!! Whoop whoop! My Dad passed away on Friday after we have cared for him for 2 weeks. I haven't thought about wine once. Just had a few af beers. I also talked to my mum about her drinking and she hasn't touched a drop since. Tried her on an af wine last night and that went well. McGuigans - it's very nice and my Tesco local sells it :)

@Newmum738
My am sorry for your loss. Amazing that you have stuck to your sobriety.

Morning all.

Big hug @Newmum738 for your loss and congratulations on your 1 year anniversary, hopefully the latter is helping you cope with the former in a way that’s much kinder to yourself.

@WendyWagon thank you for the ‘vein’ advice. I’m rubbish with pain (no piercings or tattoos etc) so I’ll have to give it some thought. Sorry to hear your time in wales was so eventful. DD will get there with the driving, and probably be safer as a result (although it’s expensive and frustrating) The panic attack sounds scary, two good techniques are counting things and doing a 54321 using each sense (5 things I can see etc etc) but hopefully you won’t have anymore!

@DeedIDo i hope your weekend has gone ok, I’m another one who can identify with ‘just the one’ going tits up, like others have said, it’s feedback not failure so don’t beat yourself up too hard.

@Guardsman18 sometimes we have to put ourselves first. I am very happy not drinking with some groups of friends and less so with others. I was out with a group on Thursday and one individual was fascinated by my lack of drinking… went on and on about how they drank 6 nights a week and could drink 2 bottles of wine with no hangover.. I find this conversation pretty dull and was having to increasingly bite my tongue whilst the rest of the table got increasingly inebriated.. probably one to swerve in the future!

@Reebokclassics welcome to the thread, I tried one of those ‘Trip’ CBD drinks the other day. (No interest in CBD, I just like trying new tastes) the peach one is quite nice and some folk swear it’s relaxing but tbh it seems like a placebo effect. I’ve come to realise it’s the act of sitting down and putting my feet up that I find relaxing as opposed to what’s in my glass!

At present I’m experimenting with different flavours of hot chocolate and like the chamomile, spiced apple and vanilla herbal tea bags. Crushed mint and lime squash remains a firm favourite too!

Morning everyone and condolences on the loss of your Dad @Newmum738.
I'm just a couple of days off my first sober month and am feeling really low. Not because I want to drink but because of various things going on. I would have definitely been consoling myself with wine in the past, which is maybe why I can't shake off how I feel.
I've noticed that I'm eating really badly, stacks of toast and jam and definitely using food as a prop instead of the alcohol and I think that's probably not helping. Will focus on improving that as I don't want to slide from alcohol to overeating as a problem.
Just feeling really low and fed up.

@Stircrazyschoolmum@Stircrazyschoolmum I think someone drinking 18 units 2 bottles) will be over the limit the next day. If they think they have no hangover they are wrong. It just shows up differently. These people are looking for your acceptance. A bet you this person will either avoid you or seek you out in the future for advice. That has been my experience.

Sending you a hug @SillyLittleMargaret hang in there. I remember feeling a bit meh at the end of the first month as my skin still looked rubbish, my weight hadn’t changed and I still had all the same issues/problems that were there before I stopped drinking! Nearing 2 months now and the big difference is I’m trying to deal with the life issues head on (rather than avoiding them or numbing them) life feels pretty raw at times but a hangover wouldn’t help.

@WendyWagon sage words. This individual is a known big drinker and probably triggers me as I look at her and see a previous version of myself. I’m not overly bothered about being out with drinking folk, but I feel there’s more interesting subjects of conversation over the dinner table! 😁

Thanks @Stircrazyschoolmum. I'm glad I posted as t did take the guilt away last night. I'm worried that I'm getting into 'dry drunk' territory. Not that I know a great deal about it

newmum i am so sorry about your dad, take it easy as you cone to terms with your loss. Massive congratulations at your year anniversary and staying AF through these last few weeks especially. I'm glad you were able to have the conversation with your mum. Sending you hugs.

@Stircrazyschoolmum feedback not failure is a fantastic way of putting it. Can be used on so many instances in life but none more so than this.

sillylittlemargaret well done on your upcoming month soberversary. It's very common not to feel amazing straight away and as you say you find yourself having to face issues you'd normally hide from head on. The good news is that instead of these issues being pushed down deeper and getting more and more embedded they are there more on the sirfa, closer to feel, yes. Jut closer to be dealt with and release. It's also so common to swap alcohol for food, especially sweet stuff, if you need it just now then go with it. Once your head clears a little you can face that. Its taken me so long not I am finally facing disordered eating and feel I cam finally say after most of my life that I am in recovery from an eating disorder. I have done so much work on it this last year and couldn't have done it if I was still drinking. My difficult relationship with alcohol and food came from the same root.
Im not saying you havesuch a deep seated issue with food but we all have something going on I think. And it's only when we drop the difficulties with alcohol that we can see what they really are and start the work to deal with them. Give yourself a break. You are doing something huge here. Anything that needs to support that in the short term is fine (well within reason 🤣).

Right!! I am not going to apologise after every one of my posts on my appalling lack of proof reading and massive amount of typos. My name is Breathmiller and I'm a typo twat.

Hopefully you are all used to it by now and if you aren't then each time there is a typo imagine me tipping my hat and giving a polite "apologies" 🤣🤣

@Newmum738 I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It's never easy regardless of age or how poorly they were. Losing a parent is awful (and losing my mum was the final descent into alcohol abuse for me).

You sound resolute and strong. I commend you and send you love and light ❤️

I hope your mum is able to make good choices but her path is not your path.

I am the typo queen Breathmiller I try to proof read but if I'm in a rush inevitably there is a fecking typo in my post.

@Breathmiller what you said about disordered eating and drinking coming from the same place really strikes a cord with me. I think that the same applies to me - it's just dropped into place with a clunk reading your post. I know it's not really on topic but would you mind explaining how you tacked the eating on top of staying AF? If you'd rather not or would rather PM me I totally understand x

@SillyLittleMargaret
I used nutricheck to help this year. I made a deal with myself never to lie to the app. I have lost two stone.
Should have been more but as some of you know two rounds of steroids have put paid to that.
I have been all sizes 8- 24 at 5'10''. I would love to be slimmer but it is not easy for me. I am a big home cook and I eat out alot. I have breakfast and one other meal now. I eat so much less because I am not trying to soak up the booze! Next year is my exercise and diet year. I always worried about swimming in the morning because I was hungover. All good for January.
@Crunchymum @Breathmiller Typos, pah, I only just realised I had a whooper on my CV for ten years!

@SillyLittleMargaret I have a similar story to the lovely Wendy.

Steroids have messed up my weight over the years as have my food (and alcohol) choices. I've definitely replaced alcohol with sweet stuff and that is the next thing I plan to tackle. For me, getting that first sober year under my belt is the most important thing. I'm almost 10 months in and I don't want the hassle of watching what I eat for my first sober Christmas. But it is the next thing I want to seriously address.

I'm many inches shorter than Wendy and I've been every size from 8-18. Being AF hasn't been a cure all / fix all but gosh I'm I'm a much better place without it.

I think I had a food issue before I had an alcohol issue. In fact I know I did. It started in my teens when I started to comfort eat and possibly used food as a bit of a tool to self harm? Then I obviously put on weight and began a cycle of diet/binge which has been going since then. Alcohol came into that later on but as @Breathmiller said it's all rooted in the same causative issues.
I eat when I'm bored and I eat when I'm feeling low or lonely or angry. It's definitely something I use to deaden feelings, just like that wine after a stressful day. What I'm struggling with is how to address it? I'm scared that logging food will just make me more obsessive but that not logging food will result in me becoming even more overweight. For context I'm 5ft 5 and 11st 5. I'd ideally like to lose 2 stone. I'm 50 next year and feel like it's a bit of a watershed for getting my house in order.

Thanks @WendyWagon and @Crunchymum for your honestly ❤️

Newmum738 condolences on your loss. Losing a parent is incredibly hard, be kind to yourself. Alcohol would only make it worse.

Crunchymum thanks for all the support and guidance to others.

Stircrazyschoolmum thanks for the advice above. I’m at 24 days so far, and though I’m emotionally and physically feeling much better I was hoping that my skin would improve a bit. I’m not a looker and never have been but the bout of acne right now plus massive hairs on my chin is making me look quite repulsive!!

I stopped drinking because I didn’t want to die. I was having symptoms like a dull pain in my side, nose bleeds, really cold feet. I went to the doctor and in a very tear filled session told her how I was feeling. She told me to stop, get therapy and get to AA. I have stopped and am finding it much easier than when I tried to ‘moderate’…taking the decision away daily is so much easier. All my blood tests came back looking good but as the dr explained to me, issues aren’t always picked up until it’s too late, so it’s important to listen to your body. Has anyone else been at a point where their health was impacted, and if so, how long did it take to feel fully better? The ache is my side is still there, just not as persistent.

I sat down with my DH and told him I was an alcoholic and needed to stop. He has been supportive (he didn’t drink for 2 weeks) but the past week he has had a drink every day and the fridge is full of beer and wine. It’s been Thanksgiving here and I’ve had a houseful of in laws all week, but I didn’t waiver and oddly wasn’t tempted.

Im feeling bad though as the dr really stressed the importance of therapy and AA but I just don’t think I can yet. The support here and from quit lit feels enough for right now. Is that ok or a mistake? Honestly it’s the time involved in both that I can’t fathom, I have a full on job and 3 busy kids to keep up with.

Thanks Ladies, stay strong 💪🏻

I've also had disordered eating most of my life. My mum used to tell me I needed to lose weight from my early teens, but constantly gave me sweets and snacks.

I'm 5'0 and about 75kg. My BMI is 33 and I'd love to lose weight but I suck at dieting.

I feel for so many of our group. It is not easy as the body craves sugar when we give up the booze.
My AA leader said better to be stopped with sweets on your seat than a bottle of grog! No one got done for fat driving etc. Harsh but that stayed with me.
I don't have a sweet tooth but I like posh fruit and ice cream.
Nutricheck just did a what it said on the tin. No fat shaming at the scales, no huge disappointment. I have another 5+ stone to go or I have surgery. After my latest illness I will stick to the salad thanks.
I am a devotee of the Gordon's af. I bought new glasses.
I also think people want everything to go away and there seems to be unhappy childhoods across many of our 'lads'. That takes time to deal with. Booze a sticking plaster.
Most surgeries allow you to self refer for counselling.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered and my mum used to tell me I was fat at a size 12. Nice 1970s thinking.

Hello everyone- busy afternoon on here.

For those struggling with sugar, food etc, to quote Holly Whittaker, I think we need to “start with what’s killing you”. Getting rid of alcohol doesn’t cure all our problems, but I think it lets us put enough space between us and the problems so that we can see them more clearly. That often isn’t a very comfortable experience.

Has anyone read “Sunshine Warm Sober” by Catherine Gray? I found it really helpful about the long term work involved in recovering (once I’d got over the really grim relapse figures ).

Anyway, in her sixth year of sobriety, she started tackling her childhood, and says this:

So perhaps it’s not surprising that many of us on here have childhood issues.