The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

[Crunchymum]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

240 days, my 8 mot has anniversary on 13th October.

Absolutely honoured to be able to host the new thread.

Thank you all on the older thread for your unwavering support, endless understanding and continual kindness. It's made the whole "journey" so much easier x

mot has??

😂

I meant my 8 month anniversary.

Thank you so much for the new thread and fab intro crunchymum.

8 months!! Massive well done for your upcoming milestone.

Welcome to the new thread all oldies and newbies, lurkers and regulars. I look forward to another 40 pages of supporting chat for all whether you're on day 1, week 1 or a few years under your belt.

And yes, thanks to wendywagon for the great hosting of the last thread and as always much gratitude to drybird for starting these. A life changing dry 2yrs 2 months yesterday for me. So glad I found you all.

Thanks for the new thread @Crunchymum - just checking in 👋

Good morning to you all and thanks you for the new thread @Crunchymum. Half way through the week.. 😵‍💫 I don't know where the weeks are going but I'm starting to get Christmas emails which is a worry!! Interesting development in our local area, someone has started hosting sober socials. It's seems it's a new thing 🤩 sadly I can't go to this one as I have the children and it's a midweek event but I was so delighted to see it advertised.

How we all doing? Feel like I've lost touch a bit having SM break. Did me good though! I'd highly recommend it.

Happy Wednesday all, have a fabulous day xx

I love the idea of a sober social. I do find it hard being the only sober one in most of my friendship groups.

You've missed me moaning a lot @rockingbird ! I had minor surgery on my vulva last week, so have had to cancel a couple of planned runs and am not good at resting. I ate a lot of biscuits yesterday so I’m going into the office today - probably not the right thing physically but definitely the right thing mentally.

Sober socials sound amazing! Although I am a bit of a hermit post lock-down (3 little ones and being mainly on my own will kind of do that to a woman!)

My friends are a mixed bag. I have a few who barely / rarely drink at all. One who is 3 years AF, one who is a problem drinker and the rest who tend to seem to moderate okay.

Families on both sides (my lot and the in-laws) are drinkers though. With the odd exception here and there.

In the early days I avoided most people, now I am alright and actually look forward to sober occasions. It took a while for me to feel alright about sober occasions though!!!

Just checking in here too. Day 17 here.

DH breaks up for half term on Friday, which is a mega trigger. He has 2 weeks off, during which we have a mini holiday, my birthday and his birthday. I figured if I can get through this I can get through most things. Normally this half term is a slippery slope that starts on the Friday night and finishes some time in January when I realise that I've missed a few months and put on a few stone of wine.

I did a big thing for me... I cleared out my wardrobe. I know that sounds pretty average, but, along with my drinking comes not giving any shits about how I look, how I'm dressed or what I weigh. At the start of this I realised that my thirties feels like 5 minutes ago... Therefore my 50's will come just as quickly.

I just don't want to be a mess anymore. I don't want to waste what's left of my 40's being a hammered slob.

So, I binned three binliners of clothes (for the school charity) and got myself on vinted and bought a 'french capsule wardrobe' 😬

The plan is that I will be sober, thinner and on top of the washing.

Anyway. Loving reading how everyone is doing. I really needed this check in today as I started daydreaming and scheming at work re half term wines.

Quick catch up on here. Quick inspiration. Quick kick up the bum.

Well done all xx

possible trigger warning of non alcohol red wine ahead

I think I may have found the holy grail! A drinkable non alcoholic red wine.

Went into a posh booze shop with dh when we were in a neighbouring town. I would usually not go in as it is full of red wine which was my tipple of choice but I felt strong enough to do it and actually didn't even think about it.
I laughed and said if I ask if the guy has any no alcohol wine I'd probably be thrown out. But he took me to a shelf and went through them all. Said that they don't know how he does it but this German guy seems to have managed it. I was a bit distrusting but bought a bottle. And it is passable! Maybe even quite good. A bit thin and a touch of the ribena's that they seem to all have but it is the best so far. I am going to buy a bottle for my Christmas dinner.

Of course, it may that it's been so long that I couldn't tell a good one from a bottle of piss but I'm thinking of it like vegan cheese. It is only remotely acceptable after many years without real cheese.

Leitz Zero Point Five Pinot Noir (alcohol free)

Thanks for new thread Crunchy! Ace milestone for you
thanks also to wendysav for the last one
night all

Read Adrian Childers article in the times on Sunday. Just downloaded a drinkless app. Trying.

Coming up to 4 years in December! Hasn’t been easy but weirdly working as a bartender has helped me change my perspective on alcohol. I no longer see it as a product to be consumed but rather an object to make and sell for others. Being around it so much for work has taken away any desire, although it’s not easy blagging cocktail descriptions to customers when you actually have no idea what they taste like apart from the obvious this one’s ‘sweet’ or ‘sour’ etc so just defer to colleagues descriptions for most. Don’t think people would trust the skills of a cocktail bartender as much if they knew they were years into sobriety, regardless of how much experience they had 😬

Welcome @Orders76 ! That was a very interesting article, but raised lots of questions for me. Is your aim at the moment to cut back or to give up completely? Drinking less is a great idea, but on this thread, the posters have decided that moderation isn’t for them, for whatever reason, and have decided to give up completely. I’ve been free of alcohol for nearly 7 months now, and it’s made a hugely positive difference to me. I think there’s a fairly active moderation thread if that’s more what you’re into, but if you’re interested in being AF, stick around! (I lurked on this thread for about 4 months- starting around this time last year)

Hello @Brightyellowone - 4 years as a sober bartender is awesome! I find it so hard ordering AF alternatives in busy bars, because I don’t know what they have so I don’t know what I want. I usually try “do you have an alcohol free alternatives?” But that’s a bit of a mouthful, so sometimes I ask if they have Gordon’s 00 or Seedlip. Any top tips for easier ordering?

How are you doing @WendyWagon ?

Morning lads

@Crunchymum congrats! Roll on a year.

was out of action yesterday as daughter insisted I updated my phone.
sitting on my hands re the house as the potential mortgage has doubled since Christmas! Our rental/ storage has become ridiculous and is going up next month.

Normally I would be drinking my way into numbness. I worry our chosen cottage is risky due to it not being suitable for young children. We don’t have young children, DD is 19. We have been out of the market for over a decade.

@Onewildandpreciouslife
good morning.
New phone yesterday so getting my apps on!
I am fine but have to keep switching names due to the trolls.
I find the fact people search you then discount your thoughts/ insult you, due to past alcohol issues sinister. she that casts the first stone and all that.

Argh, written this post 2x and disappeared so here is an abridged version!

Finishing little break away. Been a pretty pleasant few days just relaxing and having some AF drinks. Opened my eyes up to a few things, namely that I had purchased non AF to bring with us (for OH) and a few AF. After finishing the AF (including some AF to one side as I made some bad choices!) it was a case of 'oh well' from OH as they didn't care as they were getting nice and merry on the other stuff. Just felt quite selfish after the effort I had put into things for the 40th trip away sans children. OH drinking didn't really bother me in terms of I didn't feel I was missing out. More just hit the nail on the head on how everything falls to me, including the car insurance yesterday as the payment hadn't gone out, if I hadn't have sorted it then it wouldn't have happened.

@Onewildandpreciouslife Hope you're feeling ok after your op.

@Breathmiller Thank you for the tip!!

@Crunchymum Thank you for starting the new thread and also Happy Anniversary!!! 😀

@WendyWagon Thanks for hosting the last thread. Annoying re mortgage prices / cottage, hopefully they will stabilise / placate soon, it's getting ridiculous.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Hello everyone!!! Sorry had some phone trouble but happy to have found the new thread!!!

Thanks for starting it @Crunchymum and congrats on your 8 months!

@glindathegoodbitch well done on clearing out your wardrobe! I did the same a few months ago, I was absolutely ruthless and only kept items I wear, love and fit. I’ve lost a few stone since quitting booze so quite some culling was needed. Very satisfying to open it now and just grab any old thing. Curious to know more about your capsule wardrobe!

Oh and to share some happy news!
It’s my 2.5 year sober anniversary🤩🤩🤩
I honestly never thought I would make it this far. Thanks so much to all the lovely people on this thread who have supported me, encouraged me to build my beloved toolbox and regularly listen to me whinge😁

Life is still quite challenging for me sometime but I am so much stronger so I (mostly) feel I can cope with stuff!

2.5 years🥳🥳🥳

@BunniesBunniesBunnies congratulations

🎉🎊🎉🎉 massive congratulations to you on your 2 and a half years bunnies
You have always been such a support to everyone on here. Thank you, thank you, thank you, my sober friend.

Welcome orders76

brightyellowone 4 years is amazing! Especially when working in a bar. Do you find there are more and more people asking for AF drinks these days?

crayonpenny glad you had a nice trip away but sorry that you saw a side of dh that needs some work. Can you bring it up with him? It's no good when chores aren't shared.

wendywagon i hope you find the right cottage soon. I have to say that we are in the home that I will likely never move from and the house itself is nothing special but it's all about the location. I had a little idealic cottage last time but the village was horrific and I wanted out of there after a year. Wouldn't swap that beautiful cottage for this ordinary house for anything now. You can always do a house up inside to be your your home but you can't change where it is.

Hello - new to these threads. Been six weeks without drinking but I don’t feel any better. I’m very emotional and bored. Does this pass?

@Breathmiller
thank you.

We are only able to mortgage for ten years due to age!
it makes the repayments huge. Having been bitten in 2008 I am scared. The cottage has a downstairs bedroom so as we age it will be okay. It’s more about the huge asking price vis a vis what was paid three years ago. The agent is known to over value and is so arrogant. He has a ‘if you can’t afford it jog on’ attitude. He has caught me before. There are very few properties for sale with parking in our location. With parking £900k+, not my budget!
Not really about sobriety but I guess I am looking for support.

Welcome mycatsgoldtooth . First of all well done on your 6 weeks. My thought is that yes, it will get better. You've more than likely spent a long time using alcohol to alleviate boredom and to deal with difficult emtions. When we stop drinking we are often faced with uncomfortable feelings that we have to face head on now. The hard thing is to deal with these without alcohol, the good thing is that we do actually end up dealing with them instead of pushing them down deeper and hiding from them with booze. It can take time to face these head on and tackle them properly and then you are finally free of them.

Do keep at it, it does get easier. I used to think "what on earth do I do without alcohol as my entertainment?" Now, i realise the world is much more entertaining without it, it has so much more to offer than alcohol.

Can you talk about why you wanted to stop drinking? Or list at least one benefit you are feeling already? Some benefits take a while to appear but some for me were instant.