The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

[Crunchymum]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

Sorry to hear about your panic attack @WendyWagon they are a truly awful experience. Hope you’re feeling a bit better now. And I’m sorry for your daughter! Driving tests are so stressful. I failed my first one too. And cried! The stress and cost of it all pushed me over the edge! Passed second time though and have been driving for years now.

@WendyWagon glad all calm now and yes driving tests are soo stressful.

@rockingbird sorry you're moving again will the next move be more permanent? I'm sure there are lots of people who struggle with alcohol we're not alone that's for sure. You could recommend quitlit to her, I found that helpful at the beginning

@WendyWagon sorry about your daughter. I failed my driving test 5...yes 5 times and I must say it's made me appreciate my license that much more. Nearly 20 years on and I've never even had a speeding ticket. It does suck when all your friends are driving and you can't.

I'm off to a sober Christmas do tonight. I'd really rather not go as I feel very under the weather still but DH won't forgive me if I cry off. His drinking is creeping up but that's his decision. I won't let him weaken my resolve.

Have a good weekend everyone

Sorry to hear you had such a difficult day yesterday @WendyWagon - hope today is more peaceful for you

Good luck at the do tonight @MyGhastIsFlabbered . Do you have an exit plan if you get fed up?

I had a very mixed evening yesterday. We went for a meal followed by a film in one of those smart cinemas with a bar attached. DH had a carafe of my favourite wine, and I found it quite difficult. Then he took a large glass of wine with him into the cinema. BUT I really enjoyed the film, and I followed ALL the plot! It is a very, very long time since I did that, so I was very chuffed in the end. Not least as DH had to leave to go to the loo 3 times…

Ahh @WendyWagon so sorry for your daughter. My eldest has had three fails and has given up for now! Fortunately is working abroad a lot so only have to ferry him around for about 3 months of the year...
He's threatening to get a motorcycle though which terrifies me.
Also, panic attacks are horrid, so huge hugs. Often people find them easier to cope with when they understand what's going on though - can be very scary.

My dear friends thank you for all your kind thoughts. My daughter is OK today, bless her.
I am afraid I discharged myself last night because the environment was dirty, noisy and lacking in common decency.
I was examined with hands not washed, gloved or gelled. I watched some serious covid risky behaviour and bays being reused without any cleaning. The breach of confidential information was horrendous. No one bothered to introduce theirselves (Kates Campaign). Yes public sector workers need a pay rise and in my opinion should not have student debt but it was shocking. I was that angry I was going to get a mop out!
I definitely think my reasoning is changing post the boozing. I won't be bullied or spoken down to.
I can see why AA has a 13 step!

Good morning all. Much better today.
Les poorly, less grumpy!

Oh that’s good to hear @WendyWagon.

but out of interest… what were you going to do with the mop…? Clean the floor…? Whack someone…? Sing into it…?😅

Good morning Bunnies.
Definitely wash the floor. Now I am a slattern so it must of been bad for me to notice.
However I had great patient care at the GP yesterday. We will have a our old doctor back when we move and she is great. Helped my daughter and me no end.
We live in a twee market town and even we can't get doctors to fill vacancies. Too expensive to live here. Just all madness.

Good to hear it 🤩

Good morning all.! Happy sober weekend xx

I've been sober since March. Ok to ask a question? I didn't want to start a thread (not sure why!)

Afternoon all

wendywagon so sorry to hear of your difficulties at the moment. My dd failed her test 5 times but got there in the end. It did make her very wary of driving now though, which is a shame.

My son can't learn to drive because of his epilepsy at the moment which is hard on him, it's a bit of a right of passage at 17 to start lessons. But he will have to wait.

Also sorry to hear you had a panic attack, they really are horrible experiences. I used to get them a lot but haven't had one in a long time which I credit yoga and meditation for. And generally just a more settled life.

myghastisflabbered how was your night?

onewildandpreciouslife well done at navigating a tricky moment and seeing the bonus in it.

I am having a quiet weekend. I had a cold and then got my flu and covid vaccination and spent most of yesterday after work (half day on a Friday) shivering under my duvet. But feeling much better today. Cold still lingering but not the reaction to the vaccinations thank goodness.

I have a colonoscopy on Monday which I am not massively looking forward to if I'm being honest. Well, I'm more nervous about the prep tomorrow as everyone keeps saying it's horrible.

So, a quiet day today to rest from my vaxx reaction yesterday and prepare for my day of ..ahem...clearing out tomorrow. 🙈

I am hoping they ask me how much I drink 😇

I'll ask anyway! A night out has been arranged for tonight. The other people are drinkers, I'm not. I really struggled at first (March) but have gradually felt the benefits of not drinking alcohol and want to continue.

Sometimes I have felt that pull to have a drink and more so with certain people if that makes sense. Tonight is supposed to be a jolly Christmas drinks and meal night and I just don't want to go!

Would it be acceptable to cancel given the struggle I've had over the past few months? It just seems so rude but I don't think people understand if they haven't been through it.

What do you think?

Glad to hear you’re feeling better @WendyWagon

A quiet weekend sounds a good idea @Breathmiller . I can’t really remember my colonoscopy prep! It doesn’t taste very nice - I seem to remember keeping it chilled helped - but not horrendous. And accept the sedative on Monday!

@Guardsman18 congratulations on your 8 months- I stopped in March too. Difficult to say what I’d do in your circumstances without more info.. I would say if you really don’t want to go, and you can’t see any upsides in going, don’t go. If it’s with people you enjoy spending time with, and you’ll feel you’ll be missing out by not going but are just worried you’ll drink, I’d say give it a go but have an exit strategy to use if you hate it, and try to check out what your AF options are.

Thanks onewildandpreciouslife . I'm going to make it up tomorrow afternoon and put it in the fridge. Glad to hear you've not got horrible memories of it. My main worry is feeling nauseous, I have tipped into emetophobic in the past probably due to extreme hyperemisis in pregnancy, and although I am much better now I can still feel that fear of feeling sick. I just kind of want it to be over and done with now.

guardsman sorry, I missed your question earlier. Yes, is the answer. If it feels too challenging to your sobriety at this particular point then yes, it is absolutely fine to not go. And you have no obligation to explain the truth, a small white lie that you're not feeling well is fine.

You might surprise yourself and enjoy the evening without alcohol, I do now enjoy the company of people who drink even though I'm not drinking. But, I didn't put myself in temptation's way the first year. I have friends that were drinking buddies and still drink a lot and are very sociable. I stopped drinking in the August and when they invited us up as usual to their pre Christmas bash, I made my excuses. It was too early for me.

It really is possible to socialise without drinking, even around drinkers but only when you are ready for that. If it in any way makes you feel wobbly and you're not sure that you will manage then there is no shame in politely declining it at this point. You're sobriety is too important.

*your Honestly! my younger grammar nazi pedantic self would be appalled at my slovenly ways these days.

Thanks for your replies. I have been out with different drinking friends and I've been fine. It did feel strange at first but it made a nice change to have a chat rather than my 'really funny stories' all night!

This night though - different friends. Not as close. One I know I could be really tempted to have a good sesh with - so that's not positive.

I feel I just needed to hear you say it - that my sobriety is the most important thing atm. Really glad I asked and thanks again for your replies. Good book for me tonight!

Sorry I've been AWOL!! I've been reading and meaning to reply and then life just gets hectic.

My kettle packed up at 6.30am Monday morning and the week didn't really improve!! I think you know what kind of week you're in for when you can't have your first cuppa of the day 😂

@Guardsman18 I think you've made a very wise and very brave decision. Much better not to be in a tricky situation if you don't feel fully equipped to handle it. I agree that my sobriety is about the most important thing these days (I've been AF since mid Feb) and I won't apologise for cancelling things that I find too triggering.

Going to crack open an AF Heineken and have a Greek Mezze (from our fave Greek place) for dinner. Very excited.

Thanks Crunchymum. I felt a bit of a flake but don't now.

Hello @Crunchymum ! Good to hear from you. No kettle on a Monday morning is just cruel. Enjoy your mezze.

Hi crunchymum for all that is holy, no kettle for a cuppa on a Monday morning is cruel indeed.
Enjoy your mezze.

guardsman not a flake at all. Just prioritising your well being.

Just checking in. Glad you’re having a better day wendywagon. breathmiller good luck for tomorrow. Sounds like an unpleasant couple of days
crunchymum a kettle breaking on a Monday morning is the stuff of nightmares. Hope your week is improving.
I cast on a new knitting project yesterday. I definitely make far fewer mistakes in my knitting these days.

Morning all. Up too early as spent yesterday in my sick bed. I will be cancelling a snazzy lunch in London this week as I don't think I can cope with cancelled trains. I am definitely doddery. I can't risk getting stuck trying to get home.
This year has been such a roller-coaster.
I was hoping for peace and more headspace. I am looking forward to a clearer path next year. I know what I want to do work wise but I am being put under pressure to get back on the hamster wheel. It is making me feel I need my old friend the booze to cope. I know that would just be a sticking plaster but people are difficult if they don't get your demons. I am not cured. That bit they don't get. Although I wasn't a daily drinker I think about it everyday.The supermarket offers don't help. So much of me was tied up in entertaining. I have to hope it gets better as time goes on. I am dreading Christmas but I get I am lucky with a non drinking husband. I want to try to replace the 'obsession' with swimming next year. When we move I will get a location where people don't know me. Our current market town is hideously gossipy. I have avoided all the local clubs for the last few years due to a few nasty gits. Just a confessional for a Sunday morning dear friends.

Good morning, I'm also up again early 🥴 sleep is difficult for me at the moment as I'm spinning quite a few plates and my head just can't seem to switch off! I'm hoping to have a more definite plan ahead this coming week. The children are with their dad this weekend so I've spent my time cleaning and eating quality street!! Talking of swimming @WendyWagon I'm heading off to the outside pool at the gym shortly. I find it so invigorating and the hot steam room after is a bonus - highly recommend it.

I've was looking at the train strike dates as I have a Christmas lunch coming up in London in mid December.. typically it's a strike day so I'll drive. Not overly bothered by that as I'll park the car near IKEA and likely nip in there before or after 😆

I don't tend to give drinking much thought and have been reading William Porter's book this month which kind of takes you on a different thought path. Have you read much quit lit? I've also listened to podcasts which I've found helpful. That said I've had to give up one of the original podcasts Sober Dave.. used to love listening to him and his guests but it all went pear-shaped when he left his wife and became so self obsessed! Something didn't sit right with me and given my man hating stage of life I've erased him on Instagram and unfollowed his podcast.

I find early mornings so productive, second load of washing on already!

Happy sober Sunday all xx

@rockingbird good morning. We used to have an open air pool in Henley back twenty years or so. I worked in the Nordics then so I was used to it. Great stuff.
I have read loads of books but not William Porter. I will go online later and see what's out there. I am not fond of men telling me what to do so the tone has to be right.
I am actually avoiding vacancies with male bosses after the last two D*cks. I work in a female industry but there are few female big cheeses.