The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

[Crunchymum]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

Morning everyone, how are we today? Good idea @rockingbird to take a 'starting pic', I've got one in my gallery now, ugh!. I really noticed how much of the evening there was without a bottle of wine. That could be scary as I live on my own, but I'm hoping to turn it into a positive and do something productive with some of that time. I went to bed early with a hot chocolate and a good book and feel determined this morning.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered I totally get it, sounds like a good philosophy to bear in mind. Thanks @Kindtomyself

Morning all, happy hump day.! Another night of broken sleep for me. I have some worries around moving (again) which are playing on my mind. Likely I'm packing up before Christmas which I hadn't planned and this will be the third time this year so I'm mentally exhausted from it all. Anyway, today is yoga stretch class (bit like contortion) .. 🤣 looking forward to that! I was on a training course yesterday so work emails have piled up, as a busy day ahead of me.

I was just scanning back through photos, noticed how puffy I used to look!! Almost like water retention 🫣 people must have realised !! Got me thinking about if I noticed a friend looking like that, would I say something? I guess not wanting to offend someone you might not, but it's a gradual process I suspect so how do you have that conversation. I wished someone had spoken up! Would I have thanked them for their words.. probably not.

What's your plans today? Happy sober Wednesday people. Much love x x

Morning
I'm not feeling too sprightly today- I didn't drink anything from about 5pm yesterday (I'm talking soft drinks here) so I'm probably dehydrated, I often forget of an evening so note to self to improve on that.

Busy day for me today catching up on emails after being on training yesterday- snap @rockingbird.

@rockingbird sorry you've had a crap sleep - that's an awful lot of moving in a year, I think anyone would be having a crap sleep with that on their plate.

Morning all. This talk of photos is interesting. Yesterday was a year since I tried my first “day 1” of The Alcohol Experiment so I took a selfie as she suggests. I don’t think I managed the day! But I still have the photo, and it kept popping up on my “suggested photos” yesterday. So puffy, with red skin, tiny eyes and really bad hair.

Interesting question about should someone have spoken up @rockingbird . I don’t think it would have helped - my DH hated my drinking and told me so but that didn’t stop me.

On the other hand, I met a friend over the summer and was shocked at how she looked - very puffy and red. I said to my DH afterwards that I thought she had a drink issue, and later found out that her husband was worried about her drinking. I haven’t seen her much since. We’re going away together in a big group in a couple of weeks time. It’s going to be quite a challenge for me, because it’s a very boozy weekend, but I have been wondering whether I should try to have a chat with her.

My exercise levels are getting back to normal after my op, and my mental well-being has got much better accordingly. Fascinating the difference it makes.

Welcome @PurpleFresias - these early days are tough, but so worth it in the end.

Such a headache yesterday evening and through the night, I expect it's some kind of withdrawal as I've been drinking most days for a couple of months now, but I kept drinking (squash!) and feel better today. I can find the dark nights of winter tough anyway, but I took DDog out for a tramp around the fields, and went to the gym for the first time in about six months. Onwards ....

Interesting @Onewildandpreciouslife about having the conversation with a friend; there are very few people that I'd take that well from, but maybe if I'd heard it from more than one source I would have taken notice. Not sure.

@rockingbird wow, third move in a year, that's tough!

Morning all

Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet of late, work has been busy and eldest has had GCSE mocks so it feels really hard find the time some days!

Still AF.. (7 weeks tomorrow I think?) but interestingly the cravings have started to kick in.. ‘the what if’ thoughts.. which are so dangerous!! There is a definite correlation between my lack of self care/busyness and these thoughts. Hopping on here and reading everyone else’s experiences with ‘just the one’ mentality brought me back to reality with a bump and I have to accept there’s plenty more work to be done yet!

I bought some low alcohol cider at the weekend but it’s still in the fridge as I convinced myself it was ‘cheating’ (I don’t feel the same about becks blue) I noticed the reward thoughts kicking in.. have one because it’s the weekend, have one because today was stressful, have one to celebrate the mocks being over…. I don’t want to be held random to those thoughts!!! So for now tea and appletise are the way forward.

If anyone has a good link to PAWS could you share it? I’ll start with Clare Pooley as I remember her being fascinated by it.. definitely past the pink cloud stage and sitting on my arse in the mud right now!!

Morning all.

Bloody hell @rockingbird i have moved alot (10 times in 14 years) however not three times in one year! You must be the packing queen?
I crave security and peace now.
@Onewildandpreciouslife

My bff was the one who told me if I carried on drinking like I did my wls would be pointless. She was one of the party girls, however doesn't drink half of the week and is one of the take it or leave it people.

Some of you know I work in beauty and all the posh creams can't cover up the puffiness or red scaley skin. I have just put my slap on (mac water base). I could not have worn this 11 months ago. Too lightweight.

DD I are off to Welsh Wales shortly. We had to get a driving test there having waited 8 months locally. One side of me is routing for her the other scared as she is fast! Hopefully I will be in the car with a jolly dolly tomorrow coming back.
No risk of boozing, hoorah.

@WendyWagon good luck to your DD and tell her to look out for sheep! Can you help me with some skin advice? (DM me if you’d prefer) Would you recommend getting red veins done? Is the cost/pain worth it? I’m a complete skin care novice (Nivea girl) so I’ve no idea what it entails?

Hello, im just starting out on my no alcohol journey. I only drink a couple of times a week but I hate the anxiety the next day and it brings nothing positive to my life so I’ve decided to stop. Does anyone have any tried and tested herbal relaxants that I can take before cuddling up on the sofa as opposed to a glass of wine? I’m looking forward to seeing the benefits from this. Thankyou xx

I haven't told anyone else, although there are witnesses. I blew nearly seven months of sobriety on Sunday, ending in a blackout and a two day hangover with residual anxiety still today.

I had a singular success and I celebrated it. I was only going to have one. I thought it was going to be all right. It wasn't. I cannot do that again.

I cannot do that again.

Hello @DeedIDo - don’t be too hard on yourself. Maybe that’s the learning experience that will make all the difference long term. It’s one day - chalk it down to experience and move on. Don’t underestimate your achievement in getting to 7 months - some people can only dream of that!

Welcome @Reebokclassics . Can’t help on herbal relaxants I’m afraid (I do like a cup of camomile tea at bedtime though!). I drink AF rose these days.

@DeedIDo
Horrible isn't it? Funny I did the same at seven months after getting the push from my new job. I'll make you laugh, I lost my knickers! Luckily at home. I hit my head, the full monty. Hell for two days. I haven't done it again.
The road to being af can be straight or bumpy. All those months are not wasted. I think the body says 'ah no Mrs, I am not having this'. Hence a full strength hangover.
Park it. Call it a blip. Nobody's perfect. If you are God Bless you.

@Stircrazyschoolmum I had three sessions. Very painful for me but I have RA so not a lot of gonads. You also smell any facial hair coming off. I saw a difference on the third session. I wear thin base now. Six sessions are recommended. About £60 a treatment. I was spending at least £50 a week on booze so out of the wine pot.

Hello everyone. 11 days AF now! It’s been so stressful at work this week I would have really struggled if I was still drinking. I only had a glass or two every other evening but the anxiety I would feel the next day was off the scale.
I told my dh the other day that I had quit. I was worried he’d try to dissuade me or be disappointed but he didn’t mind at all! Just said I should do whatever makes me happier.

@WendyWagon , thank you for your kind words.

Day 3

Day 19 here. Am feeling like crap because I had my flu and covid jabs on Monday and just feel rubbish - am sure it's that.

We have a Christmas do tomorrow but I'm driving so that will be easy to navigate. Christmas itself...well I'm not thinking about that just yet.

Happy Thursday everyone - nearly the weekend!

Morning
Sorry you're not feeling well @MyGhastIsFlabbered take it easy.

I'm having a day out today with a friend, we've taken the day off. It's going to be fab.

Have a good day all

Good morning all.! Kids off to school, I'm in the office having a quite cuppa before I tackle the day. Feeling cheerful and positive and also got much more sleep last night which is obviously helping my mindset.

@DeedIDo we've all done it, learn from it and move on. Hope your feeling a bit brighter today. Last time I tried to moderate I blacked out, tripped up on a tiny step indoors and I now have a nasty facial scar to remind me why I can't moderate.. 🫣

@Reebokclassics hello and welcome to the group! I have no advice on herbal relaxants but I'll no doubt go down a rabbit hole today looking at that now you've mentioned it.

@WendyWagon I'm not sure you know the back story as to why I've moved so often? I left my very controlling stbexh in the summer. Literally packed up the car went on a jolly holiday with the kids around Wales all summer and we never went back. It's be tough, but also enlightening. Quitting the wine was part of that journey! How did your DD get on? I loved driving around Wales, such a beautiful place. They do however have some interesting roads 😵‍💫

@Kindtomyself have a fabulous day today!

Have a fabulous Thursday ladies, remember to do at least one thing just for you today. Mine is blow drying my hair instead of the usual tie it up and go style! x

Morning all

deedIDo sorry to hear you had that experience. I say this a lot but it may seem that some of us are rocking sobriety as if it's no difficult but I only joined here after many years and attempts at stopping and/or moderating. And when I feel off the wagon it was never for one day, I always seemed to spiral for months. So, well done for noticing and coming back on so soon. Most if not all have been there. As wendywagon says, it's a blip or a learning curve to make sure you really know that this is the right path for you. It's so easy to do and it's why even after 2 plus years that I still check in here nearly every day and post. As soon as I get complacent or smug about this then that's when I know I am in the danger zone to think I could possibly moderate. If it was that easy for all of us we wouldn't need this thread at all. So go easy on yourself. Stay chatting, we are the ones that really understand.

rockingbird your story is amazing. To have stopped drinking at such a difficult time of your life is absolutely awe inspiring. I take my hat off to you, sir.

reebokclassics I think it's a change of mindset rather than swapping one "relaxing" substance for another, however natural or herbal that may be. My dh smokes weed, always has. I used to when partying or drinking when younger but have always been able to take it or leave it so have thought about joining him now I don't drink. But I haven't because, I suppose I want to work on what I need to relax from rather than swapping one thing for another. If that makes sense?

I was watching a programme about Billy Connoly last night and he was sitting there with a cup of tea talking about how he stopped drinking and that a cup of tea is the best substance ever. I had just finished sitting my cuppa down and sighing out and saying to dh "ahhhh...nothing better than a cup of tea". So, i suppose I have found that in something else. But, i never thought I would get that same "aaaand relax" moment with something as benign as a cup of tea. But here we are.

I used to wonder how I would get that feeling without alcohol. But, the truth is I don't need that feeling quite so much. Probably because I'm not as stressed by not drinking. It's like a lightbulb that never fails to go off in my head. The fact that I used to drink to destress and it was the drinking that caused a lot of the bloody stress in the first place.

Been awol for a bit but just wanted to send a big hug to @DeedIDo. it’s an awful feeling. I too have let myself down many times in the past. But you had 7 months! 7 months is amazing. You can do that again and more. You don’t need to put yourself through this again, you deserve so much better. Hope you are starting to feel a little bit better. Be kind to yourself.

Good morning all.
Up early as DH off again and hogging the bed.
Six hours at the 'care' of the NHS yesterday. So awful I discharged myself however got in the fact I don't drink and have never smoked.
I got up to drink some decent tea. Spoon standing strong!

Sadly DD failed her driving test yesterday and was heart broken however my ambulance trip seemed to put it in perspective. Nowt wrong with me, I appear to have had a panic attack!!

@rockingbird i do remember you left the husband. You have done an amazing job. Sober and getting your new life together. Atta girl.

I am off out for a cooked breakfast. No chance of booze with that so perfectly safe. In the old days I might have been searching for a bucks fizz!

Friday here we come.

Morning all. Had a lovely day yesterday with lovely friend.

@WendyWagon sorry to hear your DD failed driving test - what a shame. What happened to you? Have you had panic attacks before? Sounds like you had a very stressful day

Good morning @WendyWagon sorry to hear your daughter failed - the best drivers don't pass first time!! Sounds like an eventful day being whisked off in the ambulance 😵‍💫 good to hear your home safe and it's nothing too serious!

I'm also up early.. since 4am! Sleep is minimal with all this crazy moving nonsense going on in my head. I've become quite settled here so packing up again is giving me massive anxiety which has a knock on effect with my sleep. I've plenty of work emails to keep me busy and nail appointment mid morning to cheer me up.

Bumped into a friend yesterday - another mother going through similar sh*t as me. She was always the party girl but confessed yesterday to knocking back straight vodka just to be able to sleep. It's really played on my mind ever since! She needs help but I have to think of a way to do that at arms length as it's far too close for comfort and I have my very own circus to deal with.

What's your plans for the weekend ladies? I'm child free Saturday night and I'm going to try bingo 😆 AF of course!

@Kindtomyself never had a panic attack before. Had racing heartbeat, couldn't walk etc. Tbh I was hyper stressed. DD is tricky when under pressure. She had a horrible time at school. All calm now. I was amazed actually how well she coped with my incident.

@rockingbird it is difficult when you see a friend falling into alcohol dependancy. I have struggled with a couple of people in my circle but I am prepared to own my story. I tell a story about my escapades. Some friends have opened up after I have confessed what it was like for me. Most say you weren't that bad (dear God I was). Sometimes I still get 'will you never drink again?'. I don't know yet but I can never go back to a bottle of wine a day. I also can't stand the smell of Savignion Blanc. Everyday I am not in the corner shop I am grateful. One foot in front of the other. I even use to totter down having necked a bottle. I doubt I wasn't the first or the last poor soak to do that.