The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

[Crunchymum]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

@Onewildandpreciouslife tis true. Skin will look much better. I have worked in beauty for forty years yet when I gave up the wine my skin became even better. I had my red veins done and can now use tinted base not foundation if I don't want to. I don't have any wrinkles due to the posh creams but it was red and flakey.
I am now using a Korean cream, cheap as chips.

Evening all.

Just popping in a peaceful sober Friday night. Hope you are all keeping well in here, it's been a while. 😆

Hey @rockingbird ! Good to hear from you x

Heya @Onewildandpreciouslife. Just having a read through, I see we have some newbies so big waves to you all. I'm still riding the sober boat on the coast. It's been a bit choppy this week but all good. Moderation keeps being mentioned 'as it's Christmas' I thought now was a good time to come back and check in. I know I can't have one so I'll choose none.

Hey Ladies, I’ve been lurking for a while but am now 15 days in to my AF life. Feel so much better already. Next week will be tough, I’m in the US and we’re having guests stay for a week over Thanksgiving (while I’m mostly working…). Going out with our best friends tomorrow night and I’m undecided on how to explain why I’m not drinking? Think I’ll go with a confident ‘I decided to stop drinking’?

Morning all.
@rockingbird hey how are you? Glad you are still around, your first posts were awesome.
I had a wagon wobble yesterday. I didn't fall off but I am struggling with the thought of a champagne free Christmas.
I put myself to bed, much easier. The dog came too.
I need to find a treat to buy myself. One thing I do know is I will be able to gift wrap before Christmas eve! I use to be too p*ssed.
All go on the house, we had a measure up yesterday. In for January I hope.

@Shanster welcome.

Have a good weekend my friends.

I had a shot day yesterday...things aren't great between DH and I and usually we patch things up with wine. He sank a bottle of red, I drank squash. We're out tonight but I'm driving so that will be ok.

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and it's the first time I've worked full time since going on maternity leave with my soon to be 13 year old...I'm absolutely exhausted but I know I'd feel a lot worse trying to do it hungover. I've always had a reputation at work as a 'pisshead' so it's also nice to have a greasy start as a teetotaller. But still worried that teetotal vegan makes me sound dull as fuck. I wouldn't have mentioned it at all but they're talking about a secret Santa so it needed saying.

I've just read this and the beginning part resonated so true with me. It's just what I needed to strengthen my resolve even more.

Hey @WendyWagon all good thanks, we've moved again but nearer to school and far more settled here. I'm not sure how I got through the summer but we did and all doing great! Stbxh still drinking feeling rather sorry for himself, I keep contact to a minimum as I'm on my path and he's on his. Looking to Christmas AF and in a better place, yes the temptation is there for sure but I won't let it break me, I've come too far! I've treated myself to a Charlotte Tilbury advent calendar that's my treat! I'm not opening it until Christmas Day 🥰 can't wait!

Welcome @Shanster this is a lovely supportive place, well done on your AF journey so far. I was quite honest with people about why I wasn't drinking to stop them trying to tempt me. I can't have one.. I can't moderate so having none is the way forward. Stopped any debate about it that's for sure. Intend to steer clear of 'going out' I've a few work lunches coming up but I'll remain firm 🙌

Morning all.

Morning my lovely! Happy sober Sunday to you. Any nice plans today? We are off to the cinema to see some wacky looking kids film.. 😆

Morning all. We went out last night to one of DH's friends surprise birthday party. Annoyingly DH got pissed but I woke up with the headache.
It was quite hard work as although I know these people they're not 'my' people and without an alcohol disguise I felt quite socially awkward. Still, good to get the first one out of the way!

Happy Sunday everyone. I have to make Christmas cake later and although my head hurts, I'm glad I'm not doing it with a hangover!

Well I'm grumpy, my headache hasn't abated at all and I've been weepy and out of sorts all day...just as though I'd had a skinful last night. Is this a normal 'withdrawal' do you think? Even though I didn't drink daily an AF weekend was a rarity?

@MyGhastIsFlabbered
How long have you been af now?
Headaches for me were in the first month and the tiredness was brutal. 8.30pm bed times.
The body is replacing cells, 28 days is a healthy young turnover time.
Lots of water will help.

Evening all

Sorry to hear you’re feeling rough @MyGhastIsFlabbered . You may just be feeling out of sorts because you’re not in your usual routine, whatever that used to look like. Going AF is a big change, so it can be a bit uncomfortable, but if you can work through that discomfort it’s so worth it.

8 months sober today for me. Very busy weekend so I’m pretty wiped out now, but happy tired!

Morning all. I had one faux gin last night and left the second one. Hoorah no mid night tiddles.

I have been invited to coffee with an old friend who 'dumped' me from the social set for my af efforts. I will be interested to know why she wants to see me?
Hopefully a better week awaits.

Hi guys, well after five AF months, a crisis prompted me to 'just have one' then 'a couple won't matter, I'm having a hard time', what a lot of BS! I already knew that I'm not capable of moderating, and nearly three months later, I'm drinking as much as I ever was. I want to stop lovely mumsnetters, and this time I'm staying on this thread for support and ideas. Feeling a weird mix of self pity and determination today!

@PurpleFresias
Sorry to hear of your difficulties.
You are not alone. Moderation is a constant battle if you are not naturally able to 'take or leave' the booze. It can consume your headspace, a bit like dieting.
Think back to how well you felt in those five months. I still miss my champers but no one can deny I am nicer without it. Less embarrassing too!

Thanks @WendyWagon I'm much nicer (and healthier and have more money) without too, starting afresh today

Hi @PurpleFresias I've been where you are. 3 years ago I stopped in January (after an horrific alcohol fuelled family argument) and didn't drink again until the July when we were on holiday. It started with a 'just one, I AM on holiday' and by the end I was necking cheap cava for breakfast. Its been a long road for me but I am ready to say I won't and can't drink again...and am fast approaching the end of my first month. My resolve is strong, despite some initial wobbles and false starts and last night I went to bed with a wonderful feeling of peace, warmth and contentment that I don't think I've felt since I was a child.
I think starting again is SO hard, with so many feelings of guilt, uncertainty and frustration to unpick - but I have to say, that this little band have given me so much advice, strength and support. They are truly awesome.

Thanks for taking the time to comment @SillyLittleMargaret It's really encouraging to read this thread, I just need to get my head back in right place and stick to my resolve. It'll be worth it to stop the guilt and anxiety, and generally feeling shit. Just poured away the half a bottle of wine from the fridge which is a start.

@PurpleFresias the fact your here and the wine is down the sink is a positive. One day at a time, I find journaling very helpful. I've a picture of me at my starting point - it's not pretty and anytime I feel the urge to drink (not often nowadays thankfully) I just take a look at that picture. That was me then, this is me now.. like you having one just isn't an option for me. I wish you health and happiness on this journey and most of all super sober power strength 🙌 you've got this!

Morning all
Welcome @PurpleFresias.

Reading @SillyLittleMargaret's comment made me feel all warm inside - 'went to bed with a wonderful feeling of peace, warmth and contentment that I don't think I've felt since I was a child'.

Not drinking is so gorgeous- that horrible anxiety it gives me is just awful and actually how long it lasts after drinking is an eye opener. I didn't drink every day but still had a feeling of anxiety most days that just isn't there when I don't drink. It's not perfect and I do still have worries and concerns and some anxiety but it's not the same as alcohol fuelled anxiety.

I know someone who drinks every day and is so upbeat and energetic that just doesn't match how I was. I have no idea how she does it (or why!) but she never seems to suffer. I used to look at her and be envious now I just think why are you doing that??

Morning all.

Morning all. Feeling better (finally!) today.

One thought that helped me when I gave up smoking that is helping me through is this...giving up is HARD and if you go backwards everything you've done this far has been for nothing and you'll have to do it all over again...does that make sense?