The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking

[Crunchymum]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @WendyWagon for hosting the last thread 💜

Here’s to the next 40 pages

Well done on your course @Breathmiller!
Congrats @Newmum738!
Hope you feel better soon @WendyWagon.

I’m doing okay-ish @Onewildandpreciouslife, thanks for asking that’s kind. How have you been?

My life is kind of upside down at the moment with difficult family stuff (sorry for being so vague but it’s just too long and complicated and probably outing to explain). Some days I’m okay and sometimes (not often because of work/kids) I hide in a corner somewhere and cry. Yeah, that sounds pathetic. I guess I’m pretty pathetic at the moment.

Still I’m managing to look after the kids okay, not fuck up my job too much and even do the occasional bit of exercise. I’m kind of just clinging on I guess waiting for the storm to pass.

Still sober though which is great😊

Hi all, i’m new and wanted to say hi. I am on day 52 and would say mostly alone in my belief that this is a great idea. I decided I wanted to stop a few months ago after beginning to stop making long term memories when on the vino. I realised that couldn’t possibly be doing me any good. I wasn’t a huge drinker, only weekends but often three bottles (across the weekend not in one go lol) I did some brief research online and stumbled across Allen Carrs book and that was my mind made up and changed my perspective completely and haven’t looked back. What I am interested to know though is do many of you drink non alcoholic drinks? I have been looking online and have bought some non alcoholic cocktails but wondering if it’s ok to drink non alcoholic prosecco etc. I don’t understand the whole abv guidelines very well but is it true that most non alcoholic wines/beers proseccos only contain as much alcohol as a banana for example? I’m not worried about being triggered by them, just whether it’s cheating 🤣

Hola chicas! It's been a beautiful day here (more of that later) and I'm still AF!! It hasn't been the easiest for reasons I'll explain, but I knew coming into this holiday that it was likely to be one of my hardest challenges. We're staying with my Aunt and Uncle who live out here and are very much part of the ex-pat culture which involves lots of drinking and eating out. My Aunt in particular can't quite grasp why I'm not drinking...I've tried to explain in various ways, from vaguely saying it doesn't agree with me anymore to explaining how awful it makes me feel for so many days in terms of mood, anxiety and lack of motivation, let alone the horrible lingering hangovers. I happened to mention last night this has all got a lot worse since starting HRT and she said I need a blood test, it was probably hormonal and that HRT shouldn't stop me drinking 🤦🏻‍♀️
So I'm not going to persuade her that it's a good thing for me, but am content to put up with the sideways looks and probing questions because I feel SO good.

We've been out for lunch today and then spent the afternoon lounging by the pool and I've just now had a very hilarious, high stakes game of waterpolo with my 17 year old which would be never have happened if I'd been drinking because I'd be too sozzled. It made me a bit sad that it stood out and made me think I'd missed so much in the past, but I'm so grateful to have had it today. Hopefully there will be many more of these moments to come ☀️

I've just been looking at CBD drinks. Has anyone tried anything like that? Don't want to replace one addiction with another but whilst the AF drinks are great, something that chills me out would be good!

Morning!
Sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time @BunniesBunniesBunnies . Crying isn’t pathetic at all - it’s a good stress reliever. You’re doing all this sober, and that makes you a badass warrior in my book. Glad to hear you’re still fitting in some exercise- I think it makes a big difference

Welcome @exblackout and congratulations on 52 days! I think everyone takes a personal stance on AF drinks. My understanding (although I’ve never been to an AA meeting and happy to be corrected!) is that AA discourages their use, but I don’t think I could have got or stayed sober without them. I’m happy with 0.5% ABV (based on the banana argument!) but I found a low alcohol spirit in a cupboard which had 1.2%, and decided I didn’t want to risk it!

Glad you’re having a lovely holiday @SillyLittleMargaret . Sorry your aunt doesn’t get it - some people won’t and that’s ok, you’re doing the right thing for you.

I woke up from a drinking dream this morning. Was so pleased to realise it was just a dream! We have a big annual boozy weekend away coming up, and I emailed the shopping list organiser yesterday to remind her I wouldn’t be drinking, so she should adjust the Chardonnay quantities accordingly! I felt a bit ashamed tbh, as it reminded me how much I used to drink, but I can’t fix the past.

Saw my surgeon last night, and he’s happy with how I’m healing so I can start exercising again. Woohoo

Thanks for your kind words @Onewildandpreciouslife. I think it’s brilliant that you emailed the organiser, don’t be ashamed be proud! I always do the same thing now (especially for brunches and hen dos etc when the booze costs extra😝) and often I’m not the only one not drinking. Honestly it’s becoming more normal all the time.

re AF drinks yes I also like them, only AF beers actually. Don’t have one every day and less in winter but I do enjoy them and don’t find it triggering. Mostly 0% but sometimes they’re less than .5% and that’s fine by me too. Everyone is different though. Hope you’re all well.

Morning all.
@exblackout I am the queen of AF wine/ gin. I wouldn't be able to manage without them. Gordon's is my favourite. I have done AA and although some things are wonderful I don't like the shame game or the fear it creates. Personally I am not one drink away from the gutter etc...,

@Onewildandpreciouslife glad you are doing well.

CBD I have never tried as it is a contraindication to my meds for RA. I also have some addictive traits (shopping, shoes, boys when I was young!)

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I am here on a DM if I can help in anyway. I am good with law & finance. Husbands not so.

Update on the cottage, was fine but not a patch on the glam one. Also rubbish garden. My little dog might fall down all the terracing.

Sad day today. Off to best friends sister's funeral (mid 50s) and they are not serving alcohol anyway. Will have a fake gin.
In days gone by I would have been plastered.
Good luck all today.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time. I one a great believer in crying / letting it all out. I always feel better afterwards, even if it is an ongoing issue.

I hope you are able to take great comfort and strength in being sober though. Every time things get tough I remind myself how much harder they could be if I was still drinking. Doing life sober is something we should all be proud of.

@exblackout I am almost 9 months in and I haven't gone down the AF route on a regular basis (I was drinking at least 4/7 nights before I stopped). Mainly as I think it was important for me to try and break all the habits and associations and I don't think regular AF drinks would have helped me. That said I do have a AF beer when out / away / if I fancy it. One tends to be enough.

I was considering trying the AF Martini for Xmas though as I know I'll want "something" for the festive period. It will be my first sober Xmas and NY.

I looked briefly at the cbd drinks but like Wendy I wondered if it would lead me down a new path of dependency.

This week was back to school and work after a beautiful week on the South Coast and it's been full on. How did I ever do all this after a bottle of wine the night before???

It's my mum's birthday today, we lost her just over two years ago now, so it's quite bittersweet. She would have been 68 which seems so young! The past two years I have toasted her on her Birthday. Today I decided to buy a bunch of my favourate flowers instead (yellow roses) to celebrate life and light.

@Crunchymum morning.

bunnies 💛

Having a bit of a twitch here.

Just had a call from my sibling to say a few people (just him, his wife, my dad and maybe one other sibling) are having an impromptu drink in honour of my mum's birthday and did I want to pop along.

Now I can't as I am a) working and b) the kids are already home and waiting for me to log off and feed them

But I have a twitch. First one in forever. In a past life I'd be arranging DP to feed the kids, logging off early and trying to get to the pub ASAP. Not because I would be desperate to be in the bosom of my family but because a bone fide opportunity to drink presented itself. Although in a past life I'd have a bottle and maybe a second bottle tee'd up for tonight no matter where I was or who I was with. Birthday's are hard when you miss someone so much.

Crunchies - that’s a tough feeling isn’t it?
I’m glad your time is committed at home and you can keep yourself occupied. Twitch is great description really but it can be just that. Can you have a little treat this evening? Nice long bath, some Christmas browsing online, start that new book for example. If you have found quitlit helpful previously you could revisit your favourite.

keep focused and maybe go through some photos or mementoes of your mum.
💐
.

Hi @Crunchymum I hope you are doing OK and the twitch has passed. Feel proud you recognised it for what it was and be kind to yourself in recognising the anniversary of the death of a parent is a pretty big trigger for the strongest minded. Lots of good suggestions from @AlloftheTime I hope you found something that worked for you.

I've had a twitch this evening too (without such a valid excuse!) I've been patting myself on the back and congratulating myself on completing sober october, then have had a full on work day, finished at 20.00 and gone down stairs to find DH half way through a bottle of red. (Because he has had an intense day.) The temptation to join him was very strong, but I've made sure I've eaten, hydrated with cordial and retreated back upstairs to the laptop! Weirdly, having the dream about drinking the other night and dreaming the annoyance and frustration I felt with myself the morning after has reminded me it's simply not worth it!

Day off tomorrow, so hoping to catch up properly on the thread and check in with everyone. xx

@Stircrazyschoolmum thats the way! 👏

Still lurking and reading.

Got my six months up yesterday, despite massive stress in my life.

Onwards and upwards

Morning!
Congratulations on 6 months @DeedIDo !

Hope you’re feeling ok @Crunchymum . Your comment that you’d have joined the family more because it was a good reason to drink really struck home. I’ve realised that lots of things I thought I did for fun, were really excuses to drink

Morning lads.
I am on the big computer as the new phone has copped out!
@Crunchymum @Onewildandpreciouslife ditto. Lots of planning used to take place regarding how much drink I could get down.

Turned down a double Voddy & Tonic yesterday at the funeral. Bar full of legless people. Gobsmacked to see Verve on ice. However, I was driving so didn't mind. Had fish and chips instead when I got home.
@DeedIDo Big congrats.

Congratulations @DeedIDo even more of a challenge in difficult times. Well done on 6 months.

Morning all.

Big decision yesterday. I gave up on the thatched cottages and bought a modern ex rental house! Never lived in new bar our first flat but sick of the fights, gazumping and wasted rent money. It is on a peaceful development surrounded by farmland. It also has a health club, swimming here I come!
I doubt if it will be our forever home but it is better than beige walls and no security. That has been one of my issues all these years. We can do this without me having another huge job and I can concentrate on my well being and the new product. Might even be in for Christmas.

Have a good Friday my friends.

That’s brilliant @DeedIDo! you should be very proud.

@WendyWagon congrats!!!!!!!!!! Farmland and a health club, you’re going to be living the dream!!!!!!

Woo hoo @WendyWagon congratulations!!

May your new home bring you peace, serenity and lots of happiness ❤️

@DeedIDo congratulations on 6 months. Amazing 🤩
@WendyWagon fantastic news, I've been following for a while so know you've been looking for a while. Really pleased you've found somewhere.

I've had a bit of a day. Would normally be pouring the wine to console myself and am instead eating my bodyweight in hot buttered toast. We flew home last night and arrived home at 2am then I was up at 8 to go and pick the dog up from kennels. 15 mins down the road I lost control of my car and skidded off the road, through a farmers fence, into a field and finally came to rest in a gate. No injuries but pretty hairy at the time and the car (which I loved, although only a 20 year old mini) is a write off. So then had to sort out insurance etc before borrowing a friends van to finally go and collect the dog. Pulled over to answer the phone as husband rang to check I was ok (he's been travelling across the country to visit his family today) and the van wouldn't start. Flat battery. 🤦🏻‍♀️
Utter madness.

Another lovely friend took me to get the dog in her car and then helped me jump start the van to return to friend number 1, so all ended ok but I'm pretty wrung out to be honest. Thoughts of wine, drinking and a boozy night out with my lovely friends have been filtering in and out too which has shaken me.

Anyway, sorry for the offload, I'm aware this isn't my personal diary but it feels cathartic to get it all out for some reason.

Hope that you've all had better days!

@SillyLittleMargaret
Diary away. I find it supportive. I love a mini. Never had one until 2019. Would now not be without ours. Hopefully you feel OK

@SillyLittleMargaret sounds like a horrid day. I've had much, much less horrid days turn me to the vino.

Seek high comfort in the fact you didn't give in.

Sorry to hear about your car.

Sometimes writing it down helps unpick it all. I get it though..... we all do.

Hoping tomorrow is a smoother day for you.

As a footnote, when the insurance company asked if I was under the the influence of alcohol or drugs it felt brilliant to be able to say 'no...I don't drink' small wins 😉