So angry with myself

[Anonymouslyembarassed]

So, I have the shakes today from yet another night of over indulgence. I promised myself I'd be sensible, stop after a couple, but I didn't, I never can. I have to stop completely, don't I?

I'm so angry with myself. I've 3 wonderful DC, great DH, a good (but stressful) job. Why can't I treat myself with the respect and kindness that I afford others?

I'm on antidepressants and sleeping tablets so I shouldn't even touch alcohol. I don't take the sleeping tablet of I've been drinking but I'm reliant on alcohol or a sleeping tablet every night.

I've grown up with heavy drinking being the norm. I've tried before to stop, don't think I've lasted more than 5 days. How can I do this?

Amazing news what an achievement well done!!!

Few things - don't shut the door on the slip - look at it carefully, what led you to that drink? It might have been something that was building all week.... what can you do to reduce / remove that trigger again??

If you don't make any changes, the craving will drag you right back very quickly.

Secondly - what's your plan for tonight?

What will you order to drink?
Will there be food available to distract you?

No one (apart from those with their own issues) will care what you're drinking but what will be your answer if you get pushed on it?
Who will be your safety net / shield? Anyone there that you are really comfortable with? Stick with them!

Most importantly- what's your escape plan?? You need to be completely independent to go "right that's it I'm feeling weird I am off now" - so avoid giving anyone apart from your most understanding friends a lift and make sure you can just walk out when you need to. Again, with a pre prepared cover story to make you more confident in the plan - illness / very early start always good.

At this early stage, sobriety has to come before absolutely everything else - you need to be completely selfish about protecting yourself.

@FusionChefGeoff the slip was stress related and it did nothing for me at all, except made me mentally berate myself for days.

I'm trying to keep my stress levels under control, easier said than done, I know.

I've a plan for tonight, I don't know anyone at the party except the host and she's pregnant so no pressure from her to drink. Think I'll go for 2 hours max. May even drive if the weather doesn't improve.

I've not slept this well in such a long time and I'm really enjoying it. I really, really want to stick to this.

If you drive then that is an excellent reason why you aren't driving.

Well done in getting this far

alcohol is addictive. I think anyone who can use it recreationally is just lucky they don’t become addicted, rather than there is some kind of illness, genetics or internal failing at play in those who do.

Well done on what you’ve achieved so far OP.

In terms of how to deal with using alcohol as a crutch/anxiety/stress reliever or for celebrating etc. I found what helped me was reading the quit lit and realising it actually does none of those things but it causes the problems in the first place you think it helps solve.

and then…after a time the association with alcohol as being helpful or necessary or a good idea etc just goes. Sometimes people will ask me now how I cope with stress or do I not miss out on things like a glass of fizz to celebrate a good day…I just don’t have that association any more with drink. Today is my child’s birthday and usually I’d be cracking open a prosecco to congratulate myself on doing such an amazing job lol. Last year I probably had an AF equivalent as although I had stopped drinking alcohol I still had some of that kind of association that you pop a drink to deal with certain things in life. Tonight I’ll have an orange squash or a tea. I just no longer associate consuming a drink with good or bad stuff any more. That probably makes no sense other than in my head lol

It looks like you have been doing brilliantly! Did you manage to get through the party without a drink?

alcohol is addictive. I think anyone who can use it recreationally is just lucky they don’t become addicted, rather than there is some kind of illness, genetics or internal failing at play in those who do.

You may well be right.

@MichaelFabricantWig great advice, thank you. I've read some quit lit and it's definitely helped reframe my thoughts. One particular analogy has stuck with me about alcohol being like a loan shark with heavy interest rates. You might benefit for a short while from it (or think you do) but it costs you more, in many ways in the long term.

I'm benefitting from not drinking in so many ways. Other than during pregnancies, I've never been able to give up before, so I'm really pleased with what I've achieved.

I did indeed. I can't deny that I really craved a drink, it's been a while since I've been in a pub. But I stuck to soft drinks. One person did ask why I'm not drinking but I just said I didn't fancy it.

That is a big challenge overcome then. If you can manage nights out without drinking there will be no stopping you!