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Alcohol support

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The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

964 replies

SavBbunny · 25/07/2022 18:37

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

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rockbottombird · 29/08/2022 23:12

Welcome @BringItBackBruno and well done for getting through the bank holiday weekend AF 🙌 I'm on day 16 today and like you scared myself somewhat so have quit completely. I'm finding I need sweet treats in the evenings to 🥴 not ideal but for now it's better than all the sugar in a bottle of wine a night.. sleep has been patchy, it gets better so hang in there. There's some great stuff to be gained for the more experienced long time members in the group. I wish you the best on your journey.

SavBbunny · 30/08/2022 05:45

Morning all.
Up early as D-day on the house saga. Three options in the running. Daughter's birthday tomorrow but she doesn't drink so no issue.
Welcome @BringItBackBruno sleep can be patchy for a few weeks. Ditto the sugar need. Some folks get headaches. I don't have a sweet tooth so just hit the fruit.
However a week of steroids have given me a huge tummy again. Might have to stick a smock on!

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Kindtomyself · 30/08/2022 06:39

Morning.
Welcome @BringItBackBruno (love your username) well done on getting through the bank holiday. Yes sweet cravings are normal it does get better.

What's happening with the house @SavBbunny? Are you going for it?

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 30/08/2022 06:58

Good luck with the house @SavBbunny!

Well done on your first few days @BringItBackBruno. the sugar cravings are normal as alcohol contains a lot of sugar. I would just go with whatever your body needs at this stage😊👍

SavBbunny · 30/08/2022 07:15

Morning @Kindtomyself
I know which house is my favourite but it is also the most costly. I have decided to be pushy today and see if the deal can be done. The house is empty so it makes things easier. I am then turning into a 70s throwback and sporting gardening dungarees.

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Kindtomyself · 30/08/2022 07:36

Great @SavBbunny you've made your decision and going for what you want. I like your approach. Good luck and keep us posted

SallyAny · 30/08/2022 07:48

Hi, first time poster here. I drink far too much, live on my own so too easy to have too much to drink but now late 50’s and worried about my health - I feel tired, miserable, anxious and am definitely not getting the most out of my life. Not drinking today but could do with some support as can’t talk to friends and family about this - too proud 🥲 I’m having a recurring nightmare about being diagnosed with liver failure and family not having a clue. Given up for 30 days once…. Pathetic really

SavBbunny · 30/08/2022 08:02

@SallyAny welcome.
I am 56 and gave up drinking 3-5 bottles (more if entertaining) of wine a week on January 8th.
I had a worrying liver reading and now it is near normal.
I live with my dh and young adult daughter. Neither drink. I come from a family of boozers.
I sleep better, look better and I think I am a nicer person. Wine was my release and friend.
'the lads' (we're mostly ladies) will give you lots of tips. Ask away.

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Onewildandpreciouslife · 30/08/2022 08:28

Welcome @BringItBackBruno - the first 10-14 days are usually the hardest as your body adjusts to the lack of alcohol. It’s used to alcohol making you sleepy, so doesn’t bother producing the natural sleepy chemicals- your body will work it out in the end, it’s amazing like that! Another common experience in the early days is really crazy dreams, as you start to get proper REM sleep. Well done on pushing through the bank holiday!

welcome @SallyAny - I’m 54 and have been sober for just over 5 months, and it’s the best thing I’ve done for myself. A lot of us find it helpful to build up a “toolkit” of things to do instead of drinking alcohol- reading, going for a walk, jigsaws, long baths. It’s an amazing opportunity to rediscover the things you used to love doing. Good luck, and post as often as you need to

SallyAny · 30/08/2022 08:37

Not sure how to tag people in but thanks for replies…. I’ve read a lot of ‘giving up’ books recently - some seem to suggest the sorting out your head approach will lead to not self medicating with alcohol and so just concentrate on dealing with your demons and the rest will follow and some that your head will sort itself out once you stop drinking and therefore just focus on not drinking and don’t overthink things…Can I ask what approach people have taken?

LovinglifeAF · 30/08/2022 08:40

@SallyAny the latter for me. What quit lit recommends the former, I’ve read loads and the answer in most of them tends to be along the lines once you stop drinking other stuff becomes easier to deal with.

LovinglifeAF · 30/08/2022 08:42

And hi @SallyAny I’m 49 and just over a year sober. The previous I had managed was 3 weeks in 2018. By the time I quit I couldn’t go 2 days without. I drank at least a bottle of wine every day.

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 30/08/2022 08:49

Welcome @SallyAny. for me it was definitely much easier to stop drinking and then deal with the shit in my life. As long as I was drinking I couldn’t really face the stuff going on underneath. Quitting drinking is not an instant fix but it makes it so much easier to deal with difficult situations.

Onewildandpreciouslife · 30/08/2022 09:02

@SallyAny the latter. I found The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace very helpful, as it takes you through the first 30 days. Try to focus on what you’ll gain by not drinking - in the early days I kept a picture in my head of me sitting in bed with a book and camomile tea (it made a nice change from passing out on the sofa).

it’s also helpful to think about what motivates you - if you’ve achieved something in the past, how did you do it? For me, it was measurable progress, so I used the Dry January app (which works all year!) - I wanted my yellow teacup on the calendar for a dry day, more than I wanted a drink!

to tag people, press @ and start to type the username and you’ll get a drop down list to select from

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 30/08/2022 09:21

Checked my quit app today which I rarely do now. The money saved from not drinking for almost 2.5 years now exceeds £4000.
Mortifying!

Wish I’d saved it all but I’m not very savvy with money! I guess I saved at least some.

Kindtomyself · 30/08/2022 09:32

@SallyAny welcome. Firstly you're not pathetic. My advice would be to stop the booze, be very very kind to yourself, learn how to be your own best friend. I slowly started to be able to sit quietly and listen to myself- not sure if that makes sense but I basically realised that I was horrible to myself and alcohol was making it even worse. I'm not perfect but I'm beginning to love myself for my imperfections and that seems to be really helping

Crunchymum · 30/08/2022 10:48

@SallyAny welcome! You are taking a very good first step. Taking control of you drinking is empowering and life changing.

Before now, the longest I'd stopped for was 42 days -barring pregnancy and BF

I now have almost 200 days under my belt and my whole perspective has shifted. I feel I can confidently say I never, ever want to drink alcohol again.

I have started (and never finished) a lot of "quit-lit" books but I did find the Annie Grace "The Alcohol Experiment" very helpful. You read it as you go along.

I had actually come on to post that I am annoyed with Annie Grace if she is promoting moderation but the Alcohol Experiment was never about abstinence per se, it was about taking control of your drinking and for a huge majority [me included] that does mean abstinence.

I would never read anything that promotes moderation, I can't and don't moderate well. It isn't for me.

Crunchymum · 30/08/2022 10:51

With regards to my approach. It really just has been "take one day at a time" and it gave me the distance to see how negatively alcohol affected my life.

It wasn't a quick fix, it wasn't a magic wand but it has been so worth it.

Breathmiller · 30/08/2022 11:21

Welcome sally and Bruno

I am 52 and have am on 2 years and (nearly) 1 month. I came out of another long spell (18 months) and went into "moderating". And as a PP said, I could moderate until I couldn't. It's just easier to quit altogether.

Best decision I ever made. And definitely the second of your options Sally . There's no way I could have sorted out my shit while still drinking. I would suggest that the other way is the drinking brain trying to trick you into continuing to drink. For me it would be anyway.

I mainlined sugar when i first stopped but that has eased massively. Stopping drinking has also given me headspace to address my disordered eating which I would say came from the same root as drinking. They certainly began at a similar time (teenage years) and when I was going through a difficult time. I think both became habitual patterns of coping with tricky emotions and situations.

Sorry to hear you had a hard night Rockbottombird but it sounds like you rode the rollercoaster well and are on the up again. Huge congratulations on doing it without alcohol.

I meditate daily, I have done for a long time. I'm not sure how people do life without it. 😊. Meditation can come in different forms, sitting in a formal practice using a point of focus, running, swimming, walking, drawing, creating, doing the dishes, cloud gazing... etc. Anything that just brings us into that still place within. It's a gift to ourselves. If you've never done it before then there are so many things online or go to a teacher or class. *insight timer is amazing and free). Or just commit yourself to once a day. Stopping what you're doing and focus on your breath. For 5 minutes, for one minute even for one breath! Until that becomes 6 minutes or 2 minutes or two breaths.

Kindtomyself · 30/08/2022 11:38

I agree @Breathmiller meditation is absolutely the best thing that I have discovered it is amazing. The headspace book on meditation and mindfulness helped me loads

Namechanged12344 · 30/08/2022 20:39

Hi all, need to check recent posts so sorry if I miss anyone but hope you will be ok with your decision @SavBbunny and you aren't a dithering doris i would be majorly stressed and indecisive as its a big big thing buying a house! and well done for going for it, you could easily just say oh sod it ill just keep renting but if your dream is a house of your own then good on you! I am really trying here but I just dont know what to do tbh, me and my partner dont fight when I have had a drink. I need to change my mindset completely now. I dont feel i have the strength at times. so i guess im day 4 but Im not sure I want to count and be deflated each time. I quickly saw @LydiaLurk post, good for you for coming back as I know it was on your mind to go AF, its this constant battle of should I, one wont hurt or im doing ok etc etc its just a mind f. welcome to new comers too and know you are not alone.

rockbottombird · 30/08/2022 21:25

Quick check in from me for accountability! Been on a trip with the children to London today.. fabulous but now shattered! Will be back tomorrow to catch up. Love to you all xx

BringItBackBruno · 30/08/2022 22:10

Thanks for the warm welcome. I celebrated day 5 with a big cup of tea and managed to avoid the chocolate for the first time. Progress? I'm pleased to hear the sleep settles gradually as I was expecting to feel a bit brighter eyed and bushier tailed, but I'm still feeling shattered!

It's amazing hearing from people who have made it months and years down the line...it makes everything feel possible.

Kindtomyself · 31/08/2022 07:01

Morning all. Woke at 4 with monkey mind and eventually quietened it and fell back asleep. I am getting better at letting the thoughts flow and not take them on as the truth but it's hard. I was doing a character assassination of myself - just unpleasant. I wonder if there's people that don't have a critical voice?
That's my musing for 7am Grin

Crunchymum · 31/08/2022 07:02

@BringItBackBruno you'll soon be into double digits. Well done.

Personally I wouldn't worry too much about the sweet stuff at this early stage. Better to have a chocolate bar than a glass / bottle of wine.

That said I'm over a half a year in and I still have a serious sweet tooth (going on a sugar detox as soon as the kids all go back and we are in a better routine!)