The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Glad you had a good day @rockbottombird

Dont get me started on my inner critic @Kindtomyself ! Have you read An Overachiever’s Guide to Breaking the Rules? She talks about your inner critic and your true inner voice - I found it really helpful, and think I need to re-read it! I’ve been quite pleased to find myself recently thinking “oh, that’s interesting, you’re bored, that’s why you want a drink”

@Kindtomyself you and me both - I’m also starting to wake very early and my brain can be a real asshole in the early hours. It’s difficult to explain my state of mind at that hour but I just seem to feel a deep sense of dread.

I’m not feeling too great at the moment. My partner has been very anxious lately and I’m struggling to support him whilst also looking after myself. I’m so affected by his moods. He is very kind and aware of the impact on me but I can’t help feeling affected by it all and like I somehow caused him to be that way? I can’t fully explain it. It also feels very disloyal to struggle with his moods and when he had to put up with me when I’ve been mentally unwell before.

I wish I could meditate as @Breathmiller and many others recommend. My brain just won’t allow me. I do run and swim and walk and I guess that’s kind of mindful but it doesn’t feel like meditation to me.

Ugh I’m just in such a funk.

Morning all, good to hear you are feeling great @rockbottombird keep going you are doing amazing with your kids and yourself.

@SavBbunny hope you are ok. I feel the pressure thing too but you will make the right decision ☺️

@LydiaLurk how are you?

@Louisepool how are you doing as I know we are in similar boats?

@Kindtomyself you are doing great I hear the monkey mind happens to me all too often, beating ourselves up it's not being kind to ourselves is it. Story of my life.

@BringItBackBruno well done on day 5. Everything will get better including sleep!

I'm just worried about my hormones playing another problem in my life and causing difficulties with partner plus child related problems and other stuff I feel overwhelmed so I drink to push those feelings away. I just want to wake up 5 months on sober lol wishful thinking.

@Onewildandpreciouslife cross posted. Thanks for that info I will check it out as yes most of the time it's because I'm bored too.

Also cross posted with @BunniesBunniesBunnies sorry you are feeling in this funk, I feel you. But don't blame yourself for his moods/anxiety he is his own person going through his own stuff and as are you. Carve out some time for only you. My brain also doesn't allow me to meditate it's shocking how much I try I end up crying!

Morning everyone
Sorry to hear you're feel out of sorts bunnies. It will pass, it always does. When I feel like that (and I did a little yesterday, - due to feeling low because of my injury i think) it's almost as everything is seen through a blue haze. Everything takes on a negative hue and that inner critic comes centre forward. When it clears (and it will) everything feels a little clearer. As if you've cleared a fog.

Meditation can be hard and interesting it makes you cry namechanged. It does that regularly. It's about sitting with these feelings of discomfort, not trying to push them away or fight them or fix them. Just sit with them. I've mentioned her many times on these threads but Tara Brach's R.A.I.N Meditation is a wonderful practice of being with all our uncomfortable feelings and vulnerable places within. It can be powerful and transformational. (And it's okay to cry 🙂 it can be releasing).

I think I'm going to go for a bit of a digital detox in September for my monthly well-being project. I will still be on here a bit as it's about limiting my phone use not cutting it out all together. I have set a daily limit and that includes work stuff. So I won't be on as much but I will keep popping in as this thread is actually good for my well being. Good luck everyone in staying having a Sober September (and beyond of course)

Sorry you’re feeling down @BunniesBunniesBunnies . I know the feeling that it’s our job to fix everything- it’s exhausting and frustrating. You know logically you haven’t caused it, but logic doesn’t work at 4am!

How did you get on with the house situation @SavBbunny ?

@Namechanged12344 morning! I feel a lot better than I did last week and at the weekend thank you, I’m hoping that’s how it will be, hard days and good days until it gets easier. Have you had a look at sober socials in your area? I haven’t managed to go to any because of the kids yet but I’m hoping to join in with a countryside walk at some point, it might help you to spend time with like minded people?

Morning all.

Thanks for all the kind words.
@Breathmiller I googled RAIN meditation, it does sound so good, maybe I should try again. Good luck with your digital detox🙂

Hello all, please can I join you? I've been wanting to cut down for years and had got to the point where I was so fed up with myself. I also had a health assessment day showed some warning signs I've been drinking too much.

This week I started some new medication that you shouldn't drink with and I started thinking about how I could have days off when I fancy a drink - and then I thought - why? Why am I planning on skipping medication, why is it so important to me? This feels like the right time to stop and reassess.

So I am currently reading The Sober Diaries, have changed my (previously booze-related) username and am on day 3.

@BraveMaeve welcome.
I did the 'fix the mix' with my RA meds, just mad really. Couldn't move so I could go out on the wine.
Daft and dangerous.

Welcome @BraveMaeve ! Sounds like a good time to start with this new medication:-)

quit lit is great but make sure you have a variety of coping mechanisms for when you’re tempted. I had no healthy coping mechanisms (only booze😅) so started from scratch! Now when I’m stressed I run, swim, listen to audio books and podcasts, have a bath or a walk or just go to bed really early. I also like nice herbal teas, soft drinks and bought myself a coffee machine with money saved from booze! I was such a wine lover and now 2 and a bit years on I barely think about it. Good luck and keep chatting here if it helps.

Welcome @BraveMaeve

I too used to mess around with my medication so I could drink (I take a weekly med for psoriatic arthritis). I used to take it on a Monday, thinking I'd be okay to drink by the Thursday. Unless it was a "bad" week and I'd skip it altogether.

I had / still have regular LFT ans as they were always 'normal' I used to kid myself my drinking wasn't doing any harm... except it was as I was missing medication to help control my illness, so I could drink.

Nearly 200 days AF now and I couldn't go back, nor would I want to.

You have done amazingly @Crunchymum!!!

I’m in a grump tonight, mainly at myself. Away on holiday in the UK, and I’m so fed up of being the only person not drinking. So much wine around me! I know I don’t really want to drink, but sometimes it’s so bloody hard. Day 165.

Thanks @Crunchymum and @BunniesBunniesBunnies - great advice. Well done on your journeys, great to see so many inspiring stories here.

Morning all.
Up early after a good sleep.
To those of you who are just starting out I thought I was a bad sleeper. Now I hear nothing. Husband gets up very early for work, I don't hear him. I was knackered for twenty years. I was even growing depressed that I never slept properly. I thought hell, another 25 years of shit sleep. Who knew it was so easy to remedy. That's one thing I wouldn't go back to, not for all the wine in the world!

@Onewildandpreciouslife can you order an expensive mocktail? I do that now when others are knocking it back. Makes me feel included.

I don't meditate but when I read I don't hear anything. I have always been a reader. My family say I would read a loo roll if it had writing on it! Books are my escape. I have bought loads since giving up the booze. Looking forward to my bespoke bookcases in my study when I move.
Final viewing at chosen house tomorrow with son down from London . Hopefully in for Christmas.

Morning

Welcome @BraveMaeve.

I so love to wake in the morning without the analysis of the night before when drinking @Onewildandpreciouslife I bet you're feeling so much better than the others this morning - well done.

@SavBbunny enjoy seeing your son and the house.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies hope you're feeling a bit better today. Just wanted to say be kind to yourself, you're naturally going to find it hard if someone close to you is struggling so you also need self compassion. Journaling really helps and honestly keep trying with the meditation- it took me a lot of attempts to do it but it's so worth it. I recommend the headspace little book of meditation and mindfulness.

@Louisepool sounds great a countryside walk with sober people ! I haven't got a countryside near me but I did Google sober socials but it just bought me to AA. So I'll keep looking, doesn't help I'm on Facebook but the googling let me to a weekend retreat thing but I never get to do anything like that for myself! Kids and work. I did suggest to my partner we take a time out just me and him and he was up for it the problem is we never got a babysitter maybe it's time but it's always money too isn't it!? I'm looking forward to sober September whooooo. Planned an activity with MIL and kids can you believe but I'm thinking positive though (although I'm thinking why can't she just take the kids off my hands for 2 hours so I can have some time haha selfish I guess). But it's nice she actually wants to spend time with us as she hasn't all summer so maybe feeling guilty as she lives 2 mins away ! Anyway off on a tangent sorry. Hope everyone is ok. @BunniesBunniesBunnies hope you are feeling better and @SavBbunny hope you are good too. Welcome to @BraveMaeve amazing ! I put off taking a medication for 4 years just so I could drink as it affected the liver. I ended up stopping drinking recently and started the meds but they were giving me really bad side effects. Also my stomach I'm sure it is being affected by the booze as each time I drank wine I had to use the toilet almost immediately did that happen to any of you? @Crunchymum wow you have done bloody fantastic!!!! Whoop celebrate girl! X

• not on Facebook but maybe I should go back on it for finding local sober people but then I'm also embarrassed stupid hey?!

Thanks guys. Today is day 200.

Another lovely milestone I would never have dreamed possible back in February.

I do appreciate all the support, especially as I think every time I posted (until about day 100) I was moaning 😂

Life isn't perfect, I still have a lot I need to work on but I now come from a place of relative calmness. I don't feel that sense of worry / anxiety / guilt / shame any more.

Feeling homesick in your home is a good description. When I was drinking I was never at peace, I never felt calm. I always had the aforementioned worry / shame bubbling away under the surface.

Next step is to work on my weight!!! I feel ready to start tackling that now..

@Namechanged12344 don’t be embarrassed! Sobriety is becoming much more common, I know quite a few people now who for various reasons have given up drinking. It definitely helps to have a real life sober buddy (in addition to the friendship of this thread).

Thanks all for the well wishes. I still woke up feeling grim but I know what @Breathmiller said is true - the fog will lift.

It’s a new month and I’m determined to make some positive changes. Just small ones. But for example I know when I feel like this I isolate myself from everyone and that really doesn’t help. So I’m going to put a few social things in the diary even though I feel anxious about it.

Also take my multivits and drink plenty of water.

Today should be a good day as I’m working without the kids at home (during the last few weeks I’ve also struggled with the tricky combo of school holidays and work).

Going to try and be kind to myself @Kindtomyself😁

Crossposted with @Crunchymum! Congrats! You are honestly such an inspiration.
And don’t worry about the moaning, you can’t possibly moan more than me😂😂😂

I love a good moan @BunniesBunniesBunnies it's good for the soul. Although maybe I should try something more positive like meditation 😀

You are always so kind and it really does make me feel supported.

I've seen all you strong, independent, successful and fierce women who have come before me in their AF journey's and it's helped more than anything.

Massive love to this group ❤️