How do I stop drinking? Or cut down at the very least?

[confusedlots]

I've got myself into awful habits with alcohol and it sounds ridiculous but I just can't stop. I know it's easy to say just don't have it In the house so you have no choice, but I always convince myself there's some reason to buy another few bottles. My skin is awful, i'm feeling really low and irritable and just have a constant brain fog.

I have a professional job and somehow manage to hold it down ok, and young children who are well fed, clean etc.

I've had a really difficult and stressful year and it's all just got so out of control. I'm often on my own in the evenings once the kids are in bed (this is a temporary thing due to DH's work but likely to last a few more months) and I just get so bored. I'm also worn down by the monotony of life, work, young kids, thinking about what to make for dinner etc. A glass of wine gives me a little lift, but once I've had that first one I just take it too far. One or one and a half bottles is my norm.

I'm going to give myself a target of getting to the weekend without a drink, this is something I probably haven't done in about a year. I really need to do this, and any encouragement or tips are very welcome.

• like even

After about 10 days I can't believe how far my blood pressure has dropped and my heart rate has gone down. The last couple of nights I have had the best nights sleep for a long long time.
I have had a few day 1's but want this to be my last. I have to have my bloods taken every so often, never know when, and did not know that at the last one they test my liver numbers. Over the phone the Doc asked about how much I drink and I just blundered my way through it until she said - come on you drink more than that so lets have the truth. I was still not being truthful but she left it at that.

I don't know when the next one is so I want to show her a good improvement, as well as myself so must keep this up. I can't cut down, to me it is all or nothing and there is no wine in the house and Asda is a 25mins walk away and I am quite lazy in the evening.
So glad I found this thread - thank you.

Hi @Carpediem15. I had blood taken a few months ago and the gp said she was concerned about the results re liver. I even lied about how much I was drinking whilst saying that there was no point in lying so I sort of halved it.

I hope we can all help each other. I'm the same - all or nothing. I have been to the shop today and came out with lemonade and some fruit.

Are you day 11 now? I'm day 2.

@Guardsman18

Hi *@Carpediem15*. I had blood taken a few months ago and the gp said she was concerned about the results re liver. I even lied about how much I was drinking whilst saying that there was no point in lying so I sort of halved it.

I hope we can all help each other. I'm the same - all or nothing. I have been to the shop today and came out with lemonade and some fruit.

Are you day 11 now? I'm day 2.

I started about 3 weeks ago cutting down, going back to exercise class so I couldn't drink as much the night before that doesn't work for me I have to have zero drinks. So 28th March there was no wine in the house and decided I would not buy anymore. I only know the date because I had to buy some train tickets or I would not have noticed. Well done buying the lemonade, I went to Aldi yesterday and did the same. Keep it up.

Morning everyone! how's everyone doing?

I may have my first test today, we're going bowling for my sons bday and a pint (or three) always helps in these situations (I have agoraphobia) but I'm going to go and at least try. If I panic and go back to the car I'll have done my best. I'm going to take my diazepam first too, i cant drink with it so that gets rid of the temptation

Anyone have any plans?

Morning! Wishing you good luck today, sitting in the car sounds like a good plan if it gets too much. You should think of it as a win for future you. Hope you eat a very large slice of cake to compensate!

I'm catching up on work today as I have a deadline and didn't do anything on Thursday as I was hungover. Hopefully this is the last time I'm scrabbling around covering for drunk me!

Really hope today goes well for you, check in later if you need to x

Thank you @NobblyBob I'll definitely update. We've changed plans and are going to the range with birthday money and mcdonalds. Bowling works out about £50 for us without petrol and someone always has a strop when they don't win (myself and dh included 😂)

I love that thought of never having to cover for drunk me again!

How was everyone's weekends? However you did, it's a new week tomorrow..

I've just realised I have quite a lot of plans next weekend I'm going to have to navigate, need to come up with some escape routes. If anyone has any AF beers they recommend, please let me know!

@haveatakeaway I bloody love a Range trip, hope you had a lovely day!

@NobblyBob it wasn't so good. I got there and couldn't go in so went back to the car, my flight or fight kicked in badly some good to it though as 1. In the past I haven't even made car trips (the panic of what if the car broke down, stupid I know) and 2. I probably saved myself £50 from not buying more candles, cushions and plants 😂
McDonald's was great (drive thru) got home, did cake and all crashed infront of the tv. We're all in bed now either asleep or reading. I'm exhausted! I'll definitely keep trying to go into shops though, even if next time I get one foot through the door it's progress. and I'm another day sober so all in all a good day.

The only AF beer I've heard mentioned a lot is Becks Blue but I haven't tried it.

Night everyone, a fresh new week ahead for all

About AF beer - my husband went out and was unable to drink alcohol so drank about 5 bottles of AF beer and the next morning said he felt like he had a hangover and wondered if he had been drinking the real stuff. It happened the next time he drank it so did some research and found out it was the chemicals in it that gave him the hangover feeling so beware.
I bought some Mocktails from Aldi this week which are sugar free and the Mojito one tastes just like the real thing, don't think I will be able to drink anymore of it as it is too near to the taste of Alcohol for my brain, it even smells like it.

Arrrgghh I haven't been so good this weekend. I had wine on Friday night, started too early and did my usual bottle and a half despite thinking I could only have a glass or two. Felt fuzzy on Saturday morning though shook it off abs had a really lovely abs busy day with family we hadn't seen for a long time. Exhausting day and was after 9pm when I eventually sat down on the sofa and I did have a glass of wine but only 2 and then into bed.

So not a great weekend for me but I know that keeping busy helps me stay away from the wine, I want to reach for it when I'm bored or wading through the mundane things like making dinners and answering the 100th call for mummy that day. Pouring a glass at 5pm is the start of a slippery slope that usually sees me finishing at least a bottle, but if I can stay away from it until later, I'm more likely to pour a glass at 9pm and leave it at that.

Yes I'd love to be able to stop altogether but and not feel like I'm missing out, but at least I'm starting to learn more about my relationship with alcohol and hopefully things will keep moving in the right direction.

Start of a new week everyone, and well done to you all for achieving what you have achieved so far!

*and not abs

Well, I have managed to have my first weekend sober since I can't remember when! Felt a bit cheated yesterday as I woke up with a cold/hay fever so wasn't feeling or looking my best.

So this is day 4. Just totted up the money I've saved and it's -I'm ashamed to tell you but I will - £73. Bloody hell. I'm shocked.

@confusedlots you're so right about learning about your relationship with alcohol, this will really help you long term. I know what you mean, if the kids were being extra demanding etc or you're stressed, it's a lot easier to open a drink but it really is such a temporary relief isn't it. Any problems or boring jobs are still there, but you have a headache doing them. I think it's great that you're acknowledging alcohol might just not be working for you anymore, that's an achievement in itself. Be kind to yourself

@Guardsman18 congratulations! The first weekend's are so hard! It's like an inbuilt routine you didn't know was even there. Please do not be ashamed about that money you WOULD have spent, I'm on day 17 and have saved over £200. But I havent factored in things like hangover takeaways, bar tabs, crap food etc, so I bet it's way more!

Thanks @Haveatakeaway. Your post to confusedlots is helpful to me too.

If I sound smug - I hope I don't - I really don't feel it. I have yet to meet up with friends, go out for a meal or anything social yet. That'll be a real test.

You don't sound smug at all @Guardsman18 but you really should be proud. We're all in this together

Morning everyone, @Carpediem15 thank you for the tips, I'm going to try the Aldi AF cocktails this weekend! I was a cider and wine drinker so definitely avoiding any AF versions of those. Congrats on your first weekend! My savings are about the same as yours, how did we ever justify pissing that much money away for nothing?!

@Confusedlots Well done for cutting back this weekend. My life isn't half as hectic as yours, but I still always found the next day so much harder after booze. Then had another drink to reward myself for getting through the hard day! Well, it wouldn't just be one drink

@haveatakeaway love your posts, you always know exactly what to say

Try the NHS App , Drink Free Days. It’s a good motivator to reduce drinking. It tells you how many calories and how much money you have saved by having a dry day. you select how many days a week you are going to have and it keeps a record for you. I found it really helpful in cutting down. It’s best if you honestly fill in the details of your current habits, because then any progress you make is accurately recorded.

@NobblyBob that's so kind of you but I am still in very early recovery (18 days today 💪) so I can talk the talk, but will I be able to carry on this time and not relapse again? I have no idea. But I know that today I'm sober and hangover free and it's one of the happiest and most relieved feelings I've ever had.

These threads are really helping me aswell, so thank you to everyone for being so honest and non judgemental

haveatakeaway 18 days is fantastic. It really is a tough thing to do. I am definitely not smug about my recovery as I have been here before many times. I am still rewarding myself with too much chocolate but so what?
I am going out with a friend tomorrow and we notoriously get quite drunk. We are meeting an hour before dinner so am a little worried about what to drink.

I had a mini strop when I went into a pub with my DH recently, I was so tempted to just have one. Instead I desperately searched for a valid alternative, I like af cider but no, just af beer or ale available🙄. I had half a diet coke 😭. I felt so bad, a bit sulky looking at others enjoying alcohol including my DH and thought, why Can't I be normal? I was so mad with myself. However, when I left I felt relieved and a little pleased with myself.

It is still tough now but I will keep going. There are more easy days than difficult though.

@confusedlots how much do you usually drink?

@brightspice probably around 60 or 70 units a week, sometimes more. It's hideous.

How's everyone doing and feeling about the Easter weekend? I imagine it's going to be triggering for a lot of us. Hope everyone's ok

Hi @Haveatakeaway! It's going to be tough as Easter BH has been the booziest weekend for me for close to 20 years. I've turned down the pub in favour of a yoga class and I've got family stuff and a flea market for the rest of the time. Bit sad I won't catch up with friends. But also feel like this weekend will be quite energising without the blackouts and laying in a pit of despair! How are you feeling about it? And how's everyone else doing?

[quote confusedlots]@brightspice probably around 60 or 70 units a week, sometimes more. It's hideous. [/quote]
That's a lot of units. But no judgement as I was doing the same. Did you try any of the books recommended here? I couldn't have quit without them.