How do I stop drinking? Or cut down at the very least?

[confusedlots]

I've got myself into awful habits with alcohol and it sounds ridiculous but I just can't stop. I know it's easy to say just don't have it In the house so you have no choice, but I always convince myself there's some reason to buy another few bottles. My skin is awful, i'm feeling really low and irritable and just have a constant brain fog.

I have a professional job and somehow manage to hold it down ok, and young children who are well fed, clean etc.

I've had a really difficult and stressful year and it's all just got so out of control. I'm often on my own in the evenings once the kids are in bed (this is a temporary thing due to DH's work but likely to last a few more months) and I just get so bored. I'm also worn down by the monotony of life, work, young kids, thinking about what to make for dinner etc. A glass of wine gives me a little lift, but once I've had that first one I just take it too far. One or one and a half bottles is my norm.

I'm going to give myself a target of getting to the weekend without a drink, this is something I probably haven't done in about a year. I really need to do this, and any encouragement or tips are very welcome.

It's definitely helping to read all the posts on here. I'm in my pyjamas already and turned on tv earlier when The Split was starting. Had never heard of it before but started watching and really enjoyed it. Would never have the concentration to watch something like that when I was drinking. So I'm looking forward to watching the next episode.

Day 1 done, and hoping for a good sleep tonight.

Don't be surprised if you don't sleep well to begin with. Your body has to relearn how to sleep without alcohol.

I've really got into podcasts and also another hobby, suddenly I have all this time that isn't being taken up drinking wine.

I recommend quit lit - I'm a moderate drinker but it started to get out of hand due to stress - reading the books listed below had me quit for a few months. I'm now back on but need to get back in the zone.

• Catherine grey, unexpected joy of being sober
• Claire pooley, sober diaries

-Jason vale, kick the drink easily -Annie grace, the naked mind

Good luck!

Well done on tonight! Like pp said I think it's really common and easily done.

I went through a phase of drinking too much following DM death. I had young kids and I used alcohol to switch off. I was so tired and grumpy all the time.

I decided to cut down but I had to identify my 'trigger point'. For me it's 5pm. If I can push through that time till about 7 I'm over it - don't even think about it after that. I now workout or go for a run, or watch Netflix in the evening to unwind.

I still drink but I can really moderate myself and very rarely get pissed these days. I feel so much better for it and when I do drink I really appreciate it as it's a treat.

Good luck!

I was probably drinking 2-2.5 bottles a day by the time I stopped. It slowly crept up from 1.5 and the mornings were so hard the afternoon drinks got earlier to cope and soon I needed morning drinks to stop the shaking. I literally was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I signed into the local substance abuse program and had a medical detox at home. That was 2.5 years ago and I've happily remained sober.

I never was able to moderate, so there's no point pretending I wouldn't end up back there.

Life is a million times better, I wasted so much time and money missing out on the joy of living.

Make yourself a really gorgeous long soft drink in the evening once DC are in bed, or before they go to bed - lots of ice, lemon/lime/orange, mint, etc. That way you are giving yourself the reward you tell tourself that alcohol is.

Good ones are:
Cranberry and raspberry topped with sparkling water
Apple juice and ginger beer, topped with sparkling water
Tonic water with a dash of angostura
Tomato Juice or V8 with tabasco, worcestershire sauce, lemon, celery and an olive

Once DC are in bed, sit down and watch some you tube videos, podcasts or Ted Talks about reducing alcohol consumption - anything inspirational that keeps you on track. Once you've broken the cycle, you can use that time when you were feeling bored to do online yoga or weight lifting or to listen to podcasts or an audio book while you do jobs.

I now have little tricks like making a cup of tea at the danger hour when I want to open wine. If I do have a glass, I put the glass straight into the dishwasher after it's finished so I don't top it up again, and then make another cup of tea.

Read Shuggie Bain. Takes all the glamour out of alcohol and leaves you with the reality of how destructive alcohol can be. I haven't drank for a year and have no craving for it. I had a bad habit too and the book changed my life. No more hangovers or guilt, brilliant! Good luck.

Well I did not sleep well - but I wasn't expecting to! Had lots of sweats and shivers, but felt ok this morning.

Ready for Day 2!

Eat earlier ... I'm less fussed about drinking after I've eaten.

@Imaysnapandfart that's great that you didn't give in to temptation when your friend brought round a bottle of wine,not easy! I did actually sleep quite well last night and felt ready to get up when my alarm went off.

Spin class this morning was difficult, and I felt like I didn't really know what I was doing 🙈 but still I feel much better for doing it and think I'll try it again.

When I gave up alcohol for 6 weeks last year, one thing stuck with me from the podcasts etc I listened to. The more days you are off alcohol, the easier it gets. So if you keep having Day 1's then you're making it so much more difficult than it should be. So now we've done Day 1, let's try to keep going and not just having lots of Day 1's!

@confusedlots definitely. I KNOW I will feel better if I keep going. There's part of me that's like, just make it through the week and then have a drink on Friday, but then I think well what's the point? Might as well carry on! Even if I don't give up forever, I feel like I need a good long stint of sobriety to allow my liver and skin to heal.

Glad you slept well, and well done for sticking to spin class! I'm going to have a long walk after work today to get some exercise and fresh air.

Well done everyone stock up on sweets and be kind to yourselves. 11 days sober today, but unfortunately this isn't my first rodeo. @teaandtoastwithmarmite has done so amazingly and has really helped me On the day one thread. She's been so supportive. We quit around the same time and I've relapsed about five times

If you want something that has bite, I recommend tonic with ginger cordial. Very tasty.

Good luck to you all. You're all doing what my late husband could not.

read how to stop drinking by allen carr, I gave up for 5 months overnight! it works.

Feeling a bit rubbish today - not having a great day at work, and recently broke up with DP (who was an ARSE but I'm just starting to feel a bit emotional about it). Now thinking about buying wine on my way back home - just a half bottle or something. Or is that just a massive step back?

@Imaysnapandfart I know exactly that feeling, but let's try and get to Friday together, I know we can do this! Go for that long walk after work instead, then have a bath and find something good to watch on tv and get an early night, you'll feel much better for it tomorrow.

Thanks @confusedlots I'm going to try! Think it's probably a bit of withdrawal as well, so got to push through. Bath and early night sounds good!

For me stopping completely was easier than cutting down. I was also trying to lose weight and couldn’t afford to waste calories on alcohol. Exercise was really helpful. It was during lockdown so I did C25k. I’m now training for a half marathon and then a full marathon, so although I have the occasional drink now, I feel so awful the next day even after just one, it’s not worth it. I run early and it’s no fun with a hangover!

Good luck op. Stopping the cycle of drinking too much was a game changer for me. It’s well worth doing imo.

@muppamup

read how to stop drinking by allen carr, I gave up for 5 months overnight! it works.

DH’s friend is reading this^ he also hasn’t touched a drop since he started the book. I think we’re going to give it a go too. We don’t get drunk, maybe just one glass but it’s pretty much every evening!

We love a drink in the evenings, takes away the stress (or feels that way) sometimes not buying it helps, we’re both doing gardening and odd jobs around the house at the moment. Making myself nice drinks does nothing for me at all, it makes me fancy wine more if anything. I rather keep busy personally or watch some decent shows/ have an early night.

How are you doing @Imaysnapandfart?

Can I join in? I am constantly on day 1 but I really need to make it stick TODAY

Me too

Hey OP I was you two years ago so I totally get how you feel. I quit completely which I found much easier than my one million attempts at moderation. Now two years on I am the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been and I don’t miss alcohol at all! If I were you I would quit completely, it’s hard work to begin with but your life will transform completely!

Hi @todayisanewday75 and @cheermonger. I've found that a sober app is really helping me. I use sobertime, and it counts in days for you and tells you how much money you've saved etc and givea some great quotes to look at. I also made an anonymous Instagram account and purely follow sober pages or sober celebrities, it helps me lots. The day one thread mentioned above is really supportive too, but I'm hopping on this one aswell.

I stopped drinking 6 months ago. Was on a similar pattern to you OP.

I completely agree with re-evaluating your mindset around alcohol. It isn't this big reward that solves all stress, boredom etc. or suddenly makes things more fun. That element of it is definitely in our heads. It robs an awful lot from your life. Sleep, health, money. It's difficult as all our lives we see alcohol everywhere. It's in ads, TV, films, online radio. It's this big life event when you reach 18 and can drink legally. Its genuinely bizarre when you think about the pedestal we have put alcohol on as society. So really thinking about what is the point, the real point of alcohol helps. I don't mean this to be preachy btw and sorry if it sounds like that. But telling myself that alcohol is a drug, just like any other helped me. And I try really hard to always call it alcohol, not a glass of wine, as it makes it sound so much worse in my head.

Things I found that helped: definitely vitamins, berocca is great and helps replace a lot of what alcohol takes from the body. Distraction techniques like have a bath or do a little job around the house at the normal witching times. Herbal tea was my saviour as well as you can get so many different types. Some people like drinking non-alcogolic substitutes but I found it triggered me but whatever works.

The longer you go, the easier it does get. I still find myself thinking about it and sometimes the urge after a stressful time side swipes me but just distract, distract , distract.

Oh and get an app where it shows you the money saved, time sober and the health benefits. I have Easy Quit Drinking. Its great

Good luck to all